Encourage me to unplug my daughter

[southmetromom]

Dear Friends,

 

I know, I know, I know. My bad. I own it. We have quite a bit of TV around here (dh and myself). That has to change, for a start.

 

I have one child who is a terrific reader and has very little interest in electronic things. My daughter, for a variety of reasons (ultimately because I allowed it) prefers TV to books. She is creative when I turn it off- mainly training our dogs and playing with them, or with Playmobile (animals).

 

I have the resolve to turn it around, but am looking here for some encouragement (perhaps) and tips. Here's my plan:

 

Once school starts, we will have a NO TV on weekdays policy. That's it. Then, just a couple of hours (that's 2) on the weekend, assuming all work was done during the week. (My dd is very task oriented and gets through her list with alacrity. I am ASSIGNING a lot more reading this year - she will be 11 in Sept. and can read, though she doesn't enjoy it).

 

Any other ideas, tips, encouragement? I hope she will "flip the switch" and get her unhooked from making TV or computer time her sole goal. It is the reward, right now, for when her "list" is done. I intend to change that. What other kinds of incentives -- or is that part of the problem, too?

 

Thanks in advance,

 

Sandy

[Momma4Boys]

:grouphug:

I am not much help because I am just as bad as you are. BUT I totally FEEL your pain! :lol:

 

A friend of mine used to do unplugged Wednesdays - that one day a week no one watched tv, played electronics, computers (unless school related), etc. She said it went really well and the kids got used to it quickly.

 

That's all I got but I look forward to hearing other suggestions.

 

:bigear:

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Well, here's what we're doing: Screen-Free September!!! We are all disconnecting, with the exception of a family movie night on Friday nights. DH and I will probably sneak in some time after they go to bed, but our plan is to stay off screens as much as possible too. (The last time we did this, it spawned a mean Scrabble competition between the two of us :lol:) After the month is up, we'll go to a one-hour-per-day, only-after-all-other-chores-and-schoolwork-are-done policy. If we still have fights and complaints then, it will be screens on weekends only.

 

Our problem is not TV, it's computer and iPads. I would love to go entirely screen free, but DH is not willing, and there is some screen time built into our schooling. It can be a fine line. I wish I had to nerve to get rid all the screens out of the house!

 

ETA: I forgot to say that with an 11-year-old, you might have a bigger fight on your hands. I think I'd be tempted to forgo any incentives and simply say that if all responsibilities are handled in the day, the the screen time happens. If not, it doesn't. The End. Be prepared for the first few days to be not so bad, and then when she runs through all her easily thought of pastimes, the fireworks will begin. Hold your ground. Stay unemotional. She'll freak out, then calm down and go find something to do! At least, this is how it goes around here :tongue_smilie:

Edited August 8, 2012 by Sweet Morning Air

[love2read]

Start now and not when school starts or she'll associate the pain of withdrawal with school. I'm serious. I also wouldn't use TV as a reward for getting work done, but just as something she can do on Saturday for a few hours if she can find something that is interesting enough for an intelligent kid like her. Once they acknowledge that most of the stuff on tv is lame, they lose interest. This approach has worked very well over the years in our home. Best wishes.

[BatmansWife]

Best tip in this regard that I could give you is: get.rid.of.cable (or whatever you have). We got rid of it over a year ago to save money. You definitely will save money. Figure out what you pay in one year for cable and it's surprising. We now only have local tv. We have 4 channels, one of which is the weather channel (so only 3 channels with shows). I LOVE it and would never, ever go back to dozens or hundreds of tv channels. Of course, you could still be in front of the screen a lot with dvd's...but at least the channel access is severely limited. You might not think you can do it (because you and hubby like tv too), and the first month is a bit tough (I thought I'd never be able to live without my Lifetime movie channel). But, after that......you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

[alisoncooks]

:bigear:

Your description of your DD sounds like my 6yo.

We're starting with baby steps: no tv before lunch (which I hope will be simple to do because we'll be busy with school work.)

 

After that, I hope to limit afternoons to a specific, small time block where t.v. is allowed.

[LibraryLover]

How old? What are her interests? One of mine is an artist, sells art work on-line, and has for a few years. It takes dc hours to finish a piece. If I took that away, it would be like taking away watercolor, oils, or charcoal.

 

What's the issue?

 

ETA: Oh, sorry. I just reread. doh. It's the TV, not the computer.

Edited August 8, 2012 by LibraryLover

[lmrich]

Just do it. Hide the remote. Plan to be busy, have some projects to do like bake cookies or a craft. Help her to fill her time and then she will get the hang of her new habit.

[Hoot]

Uggh I truly wish I could get rid of every screen in the house but DH will absolutely not have it. He is completely addicted to tv and background noise.

 

Our problem has never really been tv though; I've always had a strict leash on that with DS. Here it is absolutely no tv during the week unless it is intentional. There is no channel surfing or junk watching. DS might watch a history, weather or baseball show but only with prior permission. We utilize the DVR a LOT. On the weekends we have a pizza and movie night and on Sunday we typically watch America's Funniest Home Videos together after dinner. DH and I are another story. The man cannot be in a room with a tv without it being on. :001_rolleyes:

 

The problem arises with video games. I held my ground for a LONG time that we would have none in the house. Then, when the Wii came out DH begged to buy one for our anniversary. We all enjoyed it for a little while. Then, it started. DS wanted a PS3. Again, I held my ground for a year against DH and DS before finally caving. Now we have the iPods, laptops, Vita, Wii, PS3, N64, Sega Dreamcast, XBox and I don't even know what else. (DH likes to buy older systems when we go thrift shopping :glare:) DS13 is ALWAYS asking to, "just play for an hour." Or, "if I do ____ can I play?" I don't understand this because I've been very strict about screen time with this from day one as well. He gets to play on Saturday mornings while DH and I go thrift shopping and on the rare occasion that he has a friend sleep over. That. Is. It. And yet he still asks... all the time. :banghead: I think I'm going to start doling out chores for every time he asks. :D

[meggie]

Do it! We got rid of the TV a year and a half ago. There are some things I miss (House Hunters, Food Network, Deadliest Catch) but for the most part I don't even notice. Mostly because a lot of the shows I want to watch are on Netflix or Hulu. So I watch those after the kids are in bed. But at least I don't have to deal with the whining to watch TV during the day or the whining when they have to turn it off. Pigby gets completely sucked in and addicted. His behavior was always much worse when he'd been watching too much TV. I occasionally let them watch a movie or a show on Netflix, but when it's done, it's done. It's also nice that I can control what they see. There are often scary or inappropriate commercials, even on something like Food Network. Not to mention the fact that he was *constantly* telling me what we needed to buy because he saw a commercial for it. It's really annoying to hear a 5 year old argue with you that you need Febreze and JIF.

 

After all this time, I don't really know why I put up such a fuss about getting rid of it. I have such a hard time remembering what was so good about it. It was hard for me, but the more time that passes, the less I miss it. Except when the Olympics come on and there's no way to watch it.

[Chris in VA]

I figured out the reasons I love TV--

I love stories.

I love going places without effort.

I love suspense that is quickly resolved.

 

Figure out why she loves TV, and find a sub for it.

 

And get rid of cable. :001_smile:

[Kirch]

I third or fourth getting rid of cable. We haven't had it for years, and I don't miss it a bit. We borrow movies from the library or buy them from the $5 bin (with occasional splurges! ;)). Our issue has been computer time more than TV. I can't remember exactly how it came about, but several months ago *ds* suggested that we do "screen free Tuesdays" (it wasn't out of the blue--we were at least having a discussion about screen time!). I jumped on it, and since it was his idea, it has mostly been pretty easy to stick with. We also just made the rule that there is no screen time until school work is finished, and they can earn 5 minutes of computer time for each subject completed with a good attitide (and the minutes they earn on Tuesday's will be for screen time on Saturdays). It worked really well yesterday, so we'll see how it continues.

[besroma]

I agree with getting rid of it before school starts, if possible.

 

We have been tv-free for 14 years and it is a tremendous blessing! It is an adjustment at first, but well worth it.

 

We do check out old cartoons and educational dvds from the library, which everyone enjoys. They do not watch Redbox, hulu, etc.

 

I don't think they have ever said that they were bored, and I love that! ;)

[Starr]

At our house, no cable = no service. If the TV is off during the week and you don't turn it on they get used to it and find other things to do. I would just be matter of fact and say no. Be sure you have plenty of supplies for projects, fort building and fun.

[Kirch]

At our house, no cable = no service. If the TV is off during the week and you don't turn it on they get used to it and find other things to do. I would just be matter of fact and say no. Be sure you have plenty of supplies for projects, fort building and fun.

 

Yep--we don't have any TV service, period. We really don't miss it (although dh does sometimes get his parents to dvr soccer games for him ;)).

[J-rap]

Another vote for no cable! Without cable, all we get is PBS. You get used to it. :) One of the best decisions we made!

[Ellie]

I wouldn't allow her to earn TV time. Just unplug it. Have no mercy. :D