Barb_ Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 (edited) It is better to take precautions than have something tragic happen. Would you call if your neighbor was beating his wife and kids, or do you let it go so they can live? How about the teen down the street who is driving high? Do you let your child be the one he runs over, or do you take precautions such as having your child be off the road when teen and buds are cruising? I think it's more along the lines of whether or not you allow your child to climb a tree, swim in the ocean, cook spaghetti, use a knife to cut vegetables, sleep over at a friend's house, or even ride in a car. Each of those scenarios are potentially tragic, but each of us has to draw her own line based on her own risk/benefit analysis. Your line may be different than mine, but that doesn't make me a bad mom if my daughter falls from a tree and breaks her arm, nor does it make you a bad mom if yours doesn't know how to boil water at 15. We all have to do what makes it easier to sleep at night. Blanket statements like the bolded can sound smug and judgmental. Each time you choose to protect your child from potential harm, you take a little of your child's freedom and independence, making the transition into adulthood a little tougher. Choosing to protect your child isn't without consequences. Edited August 6, 2012 by Barb F. PA in AZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 It's a huge problem in this area Being a SAHM and an active community member, I'm aware of the statistics both on the community level and within my son's cohort. If you're interested in seeing what's y reallhappening in your neck of the woods, you might speak with pastors, Boys and Girls club board members or school principals. In some communities, they are partnering with law enforcement to give these young people hope so that they can have lives beyond drugs/crime. As a former latchkey kid, I am trying not to be offended by your attitude. I get that if you're a SAHM you want to believe that is always best for your kids. I'm not attacking your lifestyle. But giving a tween/teen some independence and responsibility as he prepares for adulthood is not neglect. And there are many "latchkey" kids whose time is used in very constructive ways and who grow up into successful, responsible, and moral adults. Parenting does not equal being with your child 24/7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 I wish I knew what those interests are. Seems bizarre to want to create fear. It is weird but some people just seem to love fear. It is like the little blue birds of happiness that run around telling pregnant women horror stories about childbirth. Or telling equestrian moms about some friend of a friend that nearly died (or did die) from a horse riding accident. :glare: Everyone wants to be the first with bad news, particularly if it can be made to be about a group they don't like. "Those horrible xyz people are at it again..." There are some professional fear mongers. They can (not always) include news media, politicians, security companies, preachers (don't understand this group but they are trying to scare folks with the end of the world talk), and the companies that sell survival gear. Obviously, there are some decent people in these categories but their business is based on fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 What has happened to society is on TLC. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 Oh and I also agree with Mrs. Mungo about teens everywhere not behaving. When we lived in Belgium, we were out one day and saw Belgian Scouts. Now my son was a Boy Scout and daughters were Girl Scouts so we observed them. They had been on a bike ride. They were all about 14-16. THey stopped and lit up cigarettes and then went and got beers. It was middday. Not quite the same as our Boy Scouts.:lol: Were they behaving badly in other ways, not all cultures have the same attitude toward smoking and beer. I grew up around some very polite well mannered rancher kids (in Arizona) who had chewing tobacco can circles worn into their back pockets by the time they were in high school. Occasional beers were acceptable also, but no rough shennanigans were allowed. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 What has happened to society is on TLC. :lol: Ah, you beat me to it. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 It is better to take precautions than have something tragic happen. There's precaution and then there is fear. At some point fear driven precautions can become as damaging as what the precautions are meant to guard against. Frankly at some point excessive fear can be a sign of anxiety disorder more than a reflection of the actual risk level. I exercise caution that reduces risk but I don't want to hamper normal, healthy development and day to day life with the ceaseless what ifs. When I started letting my son ride his bike alone near our house, I got some surprise at the decision to let him go beyond the driveway. I replied that a world where you can only ride your bike in your driveways is just not worth it. I don't want a 22 year old son with the street sense and independence of me when I was 7. We seem to be extending childhood and adolescence enough as it is IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauracolumbus Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 I saw teens behaving badly in Canada as well. They were on a field trip and were torturing a snake. I tried to get them to stop. They completely ignored me several times. I finally found an adult and reported them. Don't know what happened afterwards. I get very sad when I look at the disrespect that most kids have for adults any more. I hear it when people rave about my kids' behavior when I think they pass for what used to be considered normal. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 So sorry to hear about Hans, Colleen. Thank you, Barb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 I checked out your blog, looks like you guys had fun overseas! I miss Europe. We'd go back in a heartbeat. Thanks for checking it out. We did have a nice time, for the most part ~ and the irritating extended family relational stuff doesn't show up in blog pics.;) I'm sorry to hear about Hans; I hope it's something that can be treated with relative ease. :grouphug: Thank you. He had surgery last week to remove the tumor & a large area of margin. Lymph nodes were removed for biopsy and we're currently waiting on that pathology report. The melanoma itself was very thick, unfortunately. We'll see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 6, 2012 Share Posted August 6, 2012 There are some professional fear mongers. They can (not always) include news media, politicians, security companies, preachers (don't understand this group but they are trying to scare folks with the end of the world talk), and the companies that sell survival gear. Obviously, there are some decent people in these categories but their business is based on fear. If there weren't a problem with violent crime, then there would be nothing to fan the flames of an anxious public. We didn't get an alarm system installed because of an advertisement or sales pitch from an alarm company, but because a couple days after we moved to the Bay Area, our next-door neighbors had their home brazenly robbed in broad daylight. This was in a supposedly "nice" neighborhood in an upscale suburb. We didn't stop using the nearby bike trail because of fearmongering from local politicians or our pastor, but because there was an attempted rape and several armed robberies, again all during daylight hours and in an upper-middle-class suburb (different one than above). I don't want to have the mods delete my posts like they did on the other thread, so I'll keep my thoughts on the root cause to myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 If there weren't a problem with violent crime, then there would be nothing to fan the flames of an anxious public. We didn't get an alarm system installed because of an advertisement or sales pitch from an alarm company, but because a couple days after we moved to the Bay Area, our next-door neighbors had their home brazenly robbed in broad daylight. This was in a supposedly "nice" neighborhood in an upscale suburb. We didn't stop using the nearby bike trail because of fearmongering from local politicians or our pastor, but because there was an attempted rape and several armed robberies, again all during daylight hours and in an upper-middle-class suburb (different one than above). I don't want to have the mods delete my posts like they did on the other thread, so I'll keep my thoughts on the root cause to myself. I do agree that they are not making up the events. In my experience, however, they (news, politicians, some pastors) seem to take a certain glee in expressing how 'gosh darn awful' the world has become. I can see that your experience has been different. I don't believe the world is any more dangerous than it ever was. That doesn't mean it there aren't real dangers. I not to dwell on fears but I lock my door, I make sure my dd's carry their cell phones with them. When a neighbor had stuff stolen from his garage, I stopped leaving the door up and I moved the automatic openers out of the cars which were sitting in the driveway. On the whole though, I think people like to have their world view's enforced and those that are looking for the 'end of the world' will find it. Sorry, you were deleted before. Can you find a way to express your views that will pass inspection? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) I would wager that the Swiss had a lower crime rate before they had socialised medicine... Switzerland doesn't have socialised medicine. Rather, the health care system provides for market-oriented universal coverage. Edited August 7, 2012 by Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Thanks for checking it out. We did have a nice time, for the most part ~ and the irritating extended family relational stuff doesn't show up in blog pics.;) Thank you. He had surgery last week to remove the tumor & a large area of margin. Lymph nodes were removed for biopsy and we're currently waiting on that pathology report. The melanoma itself was very thick, unfortunately. We'll see. I am sorry to hear about Hans. You all will be in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Different populations behave differently... Right. Americans explode. The Swiss implode, which is why they have one of the highest rates of suicide in the western world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I am sorry to hear about Hans. You all will be in my thoughts. Thanks for this, Caroline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Switzerland doesn't have socialised medicine. Rather, the health care system provides for market-oriented universal coverage. You're right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Right. Americans explode. The Swiss implode, which is why they have one of the highest rates of suicide in the western world. That I did not know. What's going on, I wonder? Guess they aren't catching the ill in their clinics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 (edited) Right. Americans explode. The Swiss implode, which is why they have one of the highest rates of suicide in the western world. The Swiss have the highest *gun* suicide rate in Europe. http://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/specials/switzerland_for_the_record/european_records/Switzerland_s_troubling_record_of_suicide.html?cid=8301804 Interestingly, Lithuiania has the highest sucide rate per capita, in the world. The US is 41st. Cananda is 38th. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_suicide_rate Edited August 7, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I do agree that they are not making up the events. In my experience, however, they (news, politicians, some pastors) seem to take a certain glee in expressing how 'gosh darn awful' the world has become. I can see that your experience has been different. I don't believe the world is any more dangerous than it ever was. That doesn't mean it there aren't real dangers. I not to dwell on fears but I lock my door, I make sure my dd's carry their cell phones with them. When a neighbor had stuff stolen from his garage, I stopped leaving the door up and I moved the automatic openers out of the cars which were sitting in the driveway. On the whole though, I think people like to have their world view's enforced and those that are looking for the 'end of the world' will find it. Sorry, you were deleted before. Can you find a way to express your views that will pass inspection? I grew up in a semi-rural town that had (and continues to have) virtually no crime. My parents still don't lock the doors unless they're going to be away for half a day or more. There has been one non-domestic violence related homicide in the past however many decades and it was back in the late '70's or early '80's. People still talk about it because the police chief notoriously consulted a psychic to try to solve the crime :rolleyes: It was a big shock moving to an area where there are gangs and other criminals riding BART (light rail system) from the rough neighborhoods into upscale ones to wreak havoc. My house is about 15-20 miles from Oakland or Richmond or Pittsburg, but every week the town police blotter is full of "so-and-so from [insert name of one of the above] was arrested for [insert name of serious crime]". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 That I did not know. What's going on, I wonder? It's a by-product of the culture. The Swiss don't process, they stuff. And they don't show cracks. Between all the stuffing and maintaining appearances, the only way out for some is self-destruction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 What has happened to society is on TLC. :lol: It'a funny but true!!! Remember when TLC first came out and you actually well LEARN something from it??? They tossed that concept in the trash can in favor of well, TRASH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted August 7, 2012 Author Share Posted August 7, 2012 It'a funny but true!!! Remember when TLC first came out and you actually well LEARN something from it??? They tossed that concept in the trash can in favor of well, TRASH. For real! I haven't watched it in years because of that... Yeah, I thought TLC was supposed to stand for The Learning Channel??? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 I do agree that they are not making up the events. In my experience, however, they (news, politicians, some pastors) seem to take a certain glee in expressing how 'gosh darn awful' the world has become. I can see that your experience has been different. I don't believe the world is any more dangerous than it ever was. That doesn't mean it there aren't real dangers. I not to dwell on fears but I lock my door, I make sure my dd's carry their cell phones with them. When a neighbor had stuff stolen from his garage, I stopped leaving the door up and I moved the automatic openers out of the cars which were sitting in the driveway. On the whole though, I think people like to have their world view's enforced and those that are looking for the 'end of the world' will find it. Sorry, you were deleted before. Can you find a way to express your views that will pass inspection? :iagree::iagree::iagree: I am old enough to have heard three different generations [great grandfather lived to be 100] and now my own express the view that the society is on downward spiral. I am convinced that this must be an almost universal human sentiment. In a nice area, our home was extensively burglarized in mid afternoon. We passed on getting the burglar alarm. The kids and I were out of town, but another family member arrived home while it was in progress. We passed on a security system again after there was an unsolved execution type murder in the neighborhood. We live in one of the highest crime rate cities in nation but exercise common sense precautions. One thing we did do was purchase cell phones for all the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Oh, honey. I... oh.. (((Colleen))) You are in my heart and prayers, dear one. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Thank you, friend!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted August 7, 2012 Share Posted August 7, 2012 Wait a minute!!! I learned something from the clip posted here! I had no idea people participated in mud-jumping. None whatsoever. Honestly? They didn't look much different from the folks I have seen at Ren faires. There is an awful lot of 'interesting' going on at Ren faires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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