So if you read my "Help!" thread from last week

[plain jane]

I took your advice and put ds4 back in pull-ups for now to save my furniture and sanity.

 

Well, he went right back to being unpotty trained and now doesn't even go potty at all. He just wets his pull-up all day long. :(

 

It's like a total regression and it's costing us a fortune. Dh just went out and bought pull-ups and diapers (for baby) and it came to $80. ugh.

 

Not only that but ds soiled his pull up yesterday too. :( He says he was trying to get to the toilet on time... perhaps that's the case, but he's not even trying to pee in a toilet. ugh.

 

Something is not right with this child. We have to leave this week on a huge trip which includes a lot of visiting and I'm really stressed out about all the comments we'll get. Talk about opening myself up for a whole lot of judgement. :(

 

We'll be gone 3 weeks and I'm already dreading it. What's worse is I can't get ds any sort of medical help until we are back.

 

I don't know why I'm sharing this. I'm so embarrassed. I'm really at a loss here. :001_huh:

[Celia]

My ds is late getting trained as well, so I know your agony! I think if anyone says anything over the time of your trip, I would just say that you believe it's a medical issue at this point, and you're waiting for an appointment. Then just totally let yourself and your ds relax about the whole issue for a time and try again when you get back. I think you need a vacation from potty training for everyone's sanity!

[plain jane]

My ds is late getting trained as well, so I know your agony! I think if anyone says anything over the time of your trip, I would just say that you believe it's a medical issue at this point, and you're waiting for an appointment. Then just totally let yourself and your ds relax about the whole issue for a time and try again when you get back. I think you need a vacation from potty training for everyone's sanity!

 

It's not even potty training. He's been "trained" since last spring. He's was having more and more accidents in the past few months and now he's apparently completely regressed.

 

Can I just cry? I just called doctor. She's on holidays until the end of the month. :001_huh:

[SKL]

I can't remember if your son is closer to his 4th or 5th birthday. But if it makes you feel any better, both my niece and nephew were in diapers full-time until they were nearly four. And they are both gifted kids (and good kids overall). One of them does have Aspergers.

 

I know you're having other troubles too, but please don't be embarrassed about the diapers. Deal with the hard stuff and then maybe everyone will be ready to address potty training after your trip. You might even tell your son this plan. Maybe he'll hate the idea and defy you by going in the toilet again. :)

[dirty ethel rackham]

Have them check for constipation. Backed up stool can put pressure on the bladder, which can result in soiling accidents. Also, soft stool can leak around a back up. You may need to clean him out and start putting him on the toilet about 15 minutes after each meal for about 10 minutes. This can help retrain his bowels to work properly. PM me about this - we lived it.

[Mommyfaithe]

He should be checked for a urinary tract infection....if all is clear...he is old enough to bribe:D

 

Pee in the toilet YOU get candy....pee on the floor I EAT THE CANDY!

 

Poop in the potty YOU GET CANDY!

 

 

Ok...maybe not the best child psychology or nutrition wise....but it WORKED! once ds knew he could do it....and I knew he could do it....well he had to do it!

 

Also, have him help with all his clean up. If he is just too BUSY to use the potty....then make it take LONGER to clean up. Oh honey....i am so sorry you messed your pants. Here are new underwear. And here is a washcloth. Wash your hienie and legs. good boy. Now throw the wash cloth in the laundry....good boy. Now, put on your clean undies.....good boy. Now, put your dirty clothes in the hamper....good boy. Ok....let's clean up the mess you made......now, let's get a drink.....now let's go potty! If you can do it....I HAVE CANDY!!!:D

[plain jane]

He should be checked for a urinary tract infection....if all is clear...he is old enough to bribe:D

 

Pee in the toilet YOU get candy....pee on the floor I EAT THE CANDY!

 

Poop in the potty YOU GET CANDY!

 

 

Ok...maybe not the best child psychology or nutrition wise....but it WORKED! once ds knew he could do it....and I knew he could do it....well he had to do it!

 

Also, have him help with all his clean up. If he is just too BUSY to use the potty....then make it take LONGER to clean up. Oh honey....i am so sorry you messed your pants. Here are new underwear. And here is a washcloth. Wash your hienie and legs. good boy. Now throw the wash cloth in the laundry....good boy. Now, put on your clean undies.....good boy. Now, put your dirty clothes in the hamper....good boy. Ok....let's clean up the mess you made......now, let's get a drink.....now let's go potty! If you can do it....I HAVE CANDY!!!:D

 

He's been checked for UTI. That came back fine.

 

As for clean up, he's been doing his own clean up for months. In fact, I took to showering him fully every time he wet anywhere (because he hates showers so I thought this would deter him). He would do his own soaping, putting away of wet clothes, drying, dressing, etc. but I would add in that I shampooed his hair. Still didn't cut back on the wetting.

 

He would often wet on the couch so I would have to do the clean up there. Other times he would wet his clothes but it wasn't enough so it would soak through his clothes but wouldn't get on the floor. So no real clean up there.

 

I don't really want to bribe him because he knows how to go. He's been fine for the last year. If I bribe him, he'll just go back to peeing himself once the bribes stop. Or, he'll go every 5 minutes just to get more candy. :glare: We did this when he was 3 and almost potty trained to get him to go #2 in the toilet. He would go poop 5-6 times per day just to get a chocolate. :glare: This was closer to 2 years ago but I'm not sure he's matured much since then. :lol:

 

I'm just so frustrated with my 4yo smelling like disgusting pee all the time. So gross.

Edited July 31, 2012 by plain jane

[pageta]

I have a boy who was peeing but not pooping in the potty when we went to visit my parents, and my mother decided she didn't want him having an accident at her house so she bought pullups to wear there and he totally quit using the potty for over a year. Did I ever thank her for that!

 

Both of my boys had issues with pooping. One fall, my oldest was having issues. He would poop his pants at night while he was asleep and then he'd get his hand in it and wipe his hand all over the sheets and clothes and walls. Oh my! Of course, he did this occasionally at our house (like two or three times a month) and when we went to visit my parents, he did it every. single. night. During the day he would get skid marks so he would smell to high heaven. He was too uptight to poop, he got constipated, and it was just a disaster. My dad lost his patience with him (they were on their way to a museum with the kids and all of a sudden the vehicle smelled to high heaven because ds had a skid mark). My sister thought he needed therapy. It was just a disaster. Once we got back home, he got back on a regular schedule and has basically gotten over it on his own.

 

When I mentioned it to our family doctor, he said it isn't considered a medical problem until they are at least 7 years of age (which neither of my boys was at the time we had issues with either of them). I've heard excellent things about this book, though I haven't read it myself.

 

My hunch would be that your big trip has a lot to do with this, and you're just going to have to ride it out. Do what you have to do to survive, and once you are back home and in your regular routine, a little bit of effort will go a long way (where right now a lot of effort will produce only minimal results).

 

I am so sorry you have to deal with this. It is not fun. I can only tell you that you will survive. We had a lot of family that simply did not understand what it was like having boys who didn't care about being soiled - it simply wasn't an issue with their children so they were just clueless and thought we were completely incompetent. I just told myself, every child has some kind of issue at some point, and this may not be the issue their child has, but at some point their child will have an issue that my child breezes through. You may have to wait a while, but the tables will be turned at some point. So hike up your pants, hang in there, and know that you will make it to the other side.

[melmichigan]

We did the clean out with Miralax per peds, then very small daily doses of Miralax and scheduled potty time. This is a very common OTC treatment and according to Mayo and additional Children's Hospitals the first route before additional testing. You can google it for more information. Our peds office carries an instruction handout for parents. Call your peds and ask, you would definately want to do it a few days before traveling. This is common for toddlers, especially boys, who have previously been trained.

Edited July 31, 2012 by melmichigan

[Dory]

I got tired of the fight with my boy. I let him pick out a bike (actually a monster tire tricycle) and it went upside down by the bathroom until he kept himself clean and dry for a day and then he could have the bike. If he wet himself after that I would take the bike back and he couldn't have it until he kept himself dry for another day. I only had to take it back once. He was literally potty trained in a days time, nights and all and I've never looked back. Seemed like a ridiculously huge bribe at the time, but it worked well. I didn't want to use candy, cause I can't take it back if he breaks the deal. Something like a bike, he has to keep up his end to keep it.

[Unicorn.]

I can't remember, but have you thought about a dairy allergy? If not, you might do an elimination diet and see if that helps.

[redsquirrel]

#1) I am SO sorry you are going to be judged harshly etc. So a four year old is in pull ups. Big deal. That is no one's business, and I am sorry if you are going to get hassled for that. FWIW, if you don't complain and act very 'whatever' and confident about it people are less likely to say anything. And... moms seem to get judged no matter what so just ignore it.

 

#2) if he was wetting/leaking that much then he wasn't really 'trained' was he? It was more like a slow, controlled, continuous accident.

 

My son was 'drippy' well until 6. It got less and less so that he wasn't in training pants etc, just sort of dank. Now at 7 he dry. He has very low muscle tone and it shows up in odd ways. In part, he couldn't feel the urgency of going and maybe his sphincter muscles were a teensy bit slack. Both combined to make him leak. There wasn't much to do about it but wait for him to get older. It did clear up very suddenly. There was an obvious change. But, due to the low feelings of urgency, he did have a couple accidents at age 6 when he got engrossed in things. Like, a difficult math problem could make him wet his pants. Poor kid.

 

There are lots of things I want to say, but I am really focusing on your comment that something isn't typical with your son. You are the expert on him and if you feel that way, then I hope someone listens to you. Maybe be flexible about your trip? I have a friend with a challenging child. Once they were on an extended trip with family and it became clear that no one was having fun. She and her husband decided they just wanted to Go Home. She told people that the family was having an outbreak of pinworms! :lol: She said they practically got kicked them out, and the door was slammed behind them! They went home and had a 'staycation' It was a really good decision for them.

[Momof3littles]

Have them check for constipation. Backed up stool can put pressure on the bladder, which can result in soiling accidents. Also, soft stool can leak around a back up.

:iagree: There was a study about this recently. In many cases, the constipation was not at all obvious, and in the vast majority of the vcases, persistent nighttime wetting in kids 5 and over was resolved once the constipation was addressed. I think I linked to the article in another thread.

 

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/01/120127135757.htm

 

Note that in most cases, the bowel habits appeared to be normal, but the child was full of stool.

[AK_Mom4]

We did the clean out with Miralax per peds, then very small daily doses of Miralax and scheduled potty time. This is a very common OTC treatment and according to Mayo and additional Children's Hospitals the first route before additional testing. You can google it for more information. Our peds office carries an instruction handout for parents. Call your peds and ask, you would definately want to do it a few days before traveling. This is common for toddlers, especially boys, who have previously been trained.

 

:iagree:

 

When DD11 was little, constipation was an issue, but it didn't look like what you would expect. She was pooping, just not often enough (for her) and she would slowly have more and more accidents over the course of a few days. Miralax worked well for her and is very gentle on the system. This helped her get a regular bathroom schedule. If nothing else, that might make your upcoming trip more tolerable if your son was on a regular pooping schedule and you knew when to expect to need to get him changed.

 

And I agree... if anyone comments on it, just say that it's a medical issue and it's being dealt with. No more details required (even for nosy relatives!).

[Susan in TN]

Until very recently, my 7yods wore pull-ups at night. If he has dairy (esp. ice cream) in the evening, he still has trouble at night. He definitely got "looks" when we visited relatives last Christmas. If it's necessary to say anything, I'd just say he's struggling with allergy/food related issues and when you get back he'll be seeing the doctor, etc., etc.

[dirty ethel rackham]

:iagree: There was a study about this recently. In many cases, the constipation was not at all obvious, and in the vast majority of the vcases, persistent nighttime wetting in kids 5 and over was resolved once the constipation was addressed. I think I linked to the article in another thread.

 

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/01/120127135757.htm

 

Note that in most cases, the bowel habits appeared to be normal, but the child was full of stool.

 

This was my son's issue. I was shocked at how much stool he had in him.