Stress, how do you deal with it/handle it.

[mom4him]

It seems like my life has been filled with stress now for many years. There has been times when I would become very exhausted but given a day or two of rest and I would bounce back. Well, it seems my bounce back days have left. Life has been pretty stressful again the last few months with my husband not being well, not being able to work, we made the lower part of our house into an apartment so had to move out of that part, redo parts of it, partition off a couple of rooms on our main floor for bedrooms for the kids(still not finished), it just keeps on going. Two weeks ago my husband passed out again twice and ended up in the hospital to get not answers once again.

 

Well, that is the short version of our last 6 plus months. Last week it was like my body crashed. I get spells that I can hardly stand. It is like the strength simply drains out of my body and I had better be close to a chair. My Dr said he feels that my adrenals are extremely stressed out and that I need a few days on a sunny beach. He looked at me then and said,"That isn't going to happen is it." LOL NO it isn't. I have been really working at relaxing for a time in the afternoon, not doing anything extra, we are trying to find ones to help with the partition walls so that can get finished etc. I know it will get better but...... in the mean time how do you deal with the stress.

 

I spend time in the Word of God, I pray, and I know this helps but I am still so physically shot. We didn't got to the town about 30 miles away this afternoon because I simply didn't feel I could drive it safely(another is I am doing all of the driving these days).

 

What works for you? How do you manage all the stresses in your life. I know I am not the only one. I know many of you have much more than we have gone through. I will look at any suggestions.

[AK_Mom4]

I take a half day off. Seriously. The responsibilities won't go away for a full day, but I can usually carve out a half day once a week. Then, during that half day, I choose something to do that is relaxing - maybe a long bath followed by a nap or sit in the back yard in the sun to read. Maybe visit with a friend on the phone. Paint my toenails.

 

Having that little bit of time helps when things get really stressful - especially money-wise.

[HSMom2One]

I spend time in the Word of God, I pray, and I know this helps but I am still so physically shot. We didn't got to the town about 30 miles away this afternoon because I simply didn't feel I could drive it safely(another is I am doing all of the driving these days).

 

What works for you? How do you manage all the stresses in your life. I know I am not the only one. I know many of you have much more than we have gone through. I will look at any suggestions.

 

I could have written this myself, and although my situation is different in some ways, it is also very similar. My dh was downsized from high tech, then had a hard time landing on his feet again. He eventually went in to truck driving, but then there were economic and seasonal layoffs with cut hours that forced us to the point of depleting all our reserves. To cap it all off, a little over a year ago he had a stroke and lost his medical card that is required to be a commercial truck driver. Because of all these things, we have been under a huge amount of financial pressure for a full decade. I'm with you in that I have been worn out beyond worn out from all of it. My family depends on me for so much, and I'm also a part time teacher with many, many students.

 

I do the same things you do to stay strong, and I understand your feelings. The only thing I can say that is giving me a new lift more recently is that I've decided to do a total nutritional makeover. The foods that we've been eating over the years have not helped me physically in the least, and so I am consulting with nutritional specialists to help me make better choices. I've decided that my health and well being have to become a priority and that no matter how dh and the rest of the family want to eat and take care of their bodies, I'm going to make changes of my own. I'm increasing my intake of water, fruits and veggies substantially, eating far, far less meat and dairy, eating nuts and legumes and taking a lot of supplements. Right now as I'm at my desk I'm sipping herbal tea and eating about 1/2 lb. of raw carrots LOL!

 

All in all, I think that increasing my activity with more exercise and making these dietary changes will put me in a much better place physically. I have a strong feeling that if I don't take care of myself better from now on, dh and I will both be unable to raise our precious dd to adulthood. Long term stress zaps the life out of a body and this is one of the ways to help replenish what is lost.

 

I'm sure others will chime in with more, but this is currently my big focus and way of dealing with the challenges of life.

 

Blessings to you as you seek more ways to take care of your body, mind and spirit.

 

Lucinda

[Mergath]

Ativan.

 

It's not a popular opinion around here, I know, but sometimes your body gets so used to stress and anxiety that you need medication to help you relearn how to relax, and to let you relax long enough to rest your mind. If you've tried all the non-medical approaches and nothing else is working, medication can be a big help.

[mom4him]

I take a half day off. Seriously. The responsibilities won't go away for a full day, but I can usually carve out a half day once a week. Then, during that half day, I choose something to do that is relaxing - maybe a long bath followed by a nap or sit in the back yard in the sun to read. Maybe visit with a friend on the phone. Paint my toenails.

 

Having that little bit of time helps when things get really stressful - especially money-wise.

 

Even 1/2 a day is pretty difficult for me right now as I really don't want to leave my two kiddos with my husband for that length of time by themselves. Just can't do it.

 

I have gone into the back yard a couple of times this last week and laid in the sun while the kids played in the pool. That felt really good. I also have an afternoon scheduled with a friend and her kids this Friday that will be wonderful. They will come and the kids will all play inthe pool.

 

Thanks for your suggestions.

[justamouse]

Make sure you sleep well. Make sure you eat well. Take vitamins that will help you. Make sure you do something that takes your mind off of it. That's how I made sure I was able to engage the next day.

 

When I was in the thick of craziness, I read romances. I didn't have to think, they engaged my brain more than TV could, and they were like taking a mental vacation. Yes, some are bad. So pick good ones. The main theme of a romance is that love conquers all. That's a good story. :-)

Edited June 26, 2012 by justamouse

[AlmiraGulch]

First of all.....:grouphug:

 

I don't have great advice because I was honestly thinking of posting something very similar to this today. I understand that feeling of clawing for solid ground for weeks, months, sometimes years on end. I'm there.

 

Sunny beaches usually help me in the short term :D but it really isn't a fix. I was just on vacation last week but it was so busy I feel like I need another week to recover, and it certainly isn't happening again any time soon.

 

I agree with the previous poster who said Ativan. Or, in my case, Xanax. I don't take it every day (or even every week) but when I do, it helps. Like she said, my body has grown so accustomed to operating at this high level of stress and anxiety I really do need some pharmaceutical intervention at times to bring it down a notch. The last time I took anything was years ago, until about 6 months ago when the world started enclosing around me. It doesn't make anything "better", per se, but it keeps me functioning and helps loosen the perpetual knot in my stomach a bit.

 

Just hold on! This, too, shall pass. Or so they say.....

[mom4him]

I could have written this myself, and although my situation is different in some ways, it is also very similar. My dh was downsized from high tech, then had a hard time landing on his feet again. He eventually went in to truck driving, but then there were economic and seasonal layoffs with cut hours that forced us to the point of depleting all our reserves. To cap it all off, a little over a year ago he had a stroke and lost his medical card that is required to be a commercial truck driver. Because of all these things, we have been under a huge amount of financial pressure for a full decade. I'm with you in that I have been worn out beyond worn out from all of it. My family depends on me for so much, and I'm also a part time teacher with many, many students.

 

I do the same things you do to stay strong, and I understand your feelings. The only thing I can say that is giving me a new lift more recently is that I've decided to do a total nutritional makeover. The foods that we've been eating over the years have not helped me physically in the least, and so I am consulting with nutritional specialists to help me make better choices. I've decided that my health and well being have to become a priority and that no matter how dh and the rest of the family want to eat and take care of their bodies, I'm going to make changes of my own. I'm increasing my intake of water, fruits and veggies substantially, eating far, far less meat and dairy, eating nuts and legumes and taking a lot of supplements. Right now as I'm at my desk I'm sipping herbal tea and eating about 1/2 lb. of raw carrots LOL!

 

All in all, I think that increasing my activity with more exercise and making these dietary changes will put me in a much better place physically. I have a strong feeling that if I don't take care of myself better from now on, dh and I will both be unable to raise our precious dd to adulthood. Long term stress zaps the life out of a body and this is one of the ways to help replenish what is lost.

 

I'm sure others will chime in with more, but this is currently my big focus and way of dealing with the challenges of life.

 

Blessings to you as you seek more ways to take care of your body, mind and spirit.

 

Lucinda

I am with you on the exercise. I know I need to do that. Time. It seems as though time to take even 30 min is difficult most days.

 

We do eat a very clean diet. Grass fed beef, as much as I can find organic fruit and veggies. I have been trying to keep veggies washed and cut in the fridge at all times to have to snack on.

 

Thanks for your post.

[ThelmaLou]

Make sure you get lots of sleep. I'm now taking a nap at least every other day, for about an hour. It really helps me get through the day. I've started doing that instead of relying heavily on coffee and diet sodas. I'm now 3 weeks free from all caffeine and artificial sweeteners. They weren't helping me stay awake anyhow, and I decided I needed to address the real problem, i.e. lack of sleep and poor diet, instead. Anyhow, lots of good ideas here, just a reminder not to fall prey to the idea that you're too busy to get good sleep. You'll pay for it in lost energy and efficiency, and you still won't get anything done...plus you'll feel terrible.

[mom4him]

-Mergath- and QValencia, I appreciate your suggestions. Medications are not for me. To begin with my body responds really weirdly many times to them. I have taken a sleeping pill and not gone to sleep for over 36hr. That was not a good scene. LOL

 

I do know that things will level out but in the mean time I have to find a way to hang on and keep my health. Sometimes I wish a pill would do it for me but knowing my body it would probably make it worse.:tongue_smilie:

[mom4him]

Make sure you sleep well. Make sure you eat well. Take vitamins that will help you. Make sure you do something that takes your mind off of it. That's how I made sure I was able to engage the next day.

 

When I was in the thick of craziness, I read romances. I didn't have to think, they engaged my brain more than TV could, and they were like taking a mental vacation. Yes, some are bad. So pick good ones. The main theme of a romance is that love conquers all. That's a good story. :-)

 

I am doing these things. Even reading the novels. I get good Christian novels from the library and totally enjoy. I read before I go to sleep at night. It is better than a drug.

[mom4him]

Make sure you get lots of sleep. I'm now taking a nap at least every other day, for about an hour. It really helps me get through the day. I've started doing that instead of relying heavily on coffee and diet sodas. I'm now 3 weeks free from all caffeine and artificial sweeteners. They weren't helping me stay awake anyhow, and I decided I needed to address the real problem, i.e. lack of sleep and poor diet, instead. Anyhow, lots of good ideas here, just a reminder not to fall prey to the idea that you're too busy to get good sleep. You'll pay for it in lost energy and efficiency, and you still won't get anything done...plus you'll feel terrible.

 

I also nap, actually nearly every day. My day starts at around 6 in getting my one son up and in his power chair and ends around 11 when I have finished putting him to bed so it is long. Unless we have to go to another town or have an appointment I rest for 1 sometimes 2 hrs in the afternoon. That is when I have been going out into the back yard and relaxing while the kids are in the pool.

[WistfulRidge]

Bad way: eat. Like a pan of brownies in a single sitting.

 

Better way: Get some me time. I'm a huge introvert, so even an hour to do what I want (go for a walk, work on a project of some kind - writing, sewing etc, go out for some ice cream and just sitting in the park...) every now and then goes a long way to helping me cope for another day or three.

 

Reality: some of the bad, some of the better, and mostly just keep putting one foot in front of the other and praying that I reach the end of the stressful situation before my body gives out on me.

[Ghee]

I'm sorry, I've had a couple of rotten weeks as well. And by that I mean the beginning of another season of high stress and depression/anxiety. It's only been a couple of weeks but I know what I'm in for and I don't know if I have it in me this time. The last 15 years have been one stress or another and I can feel the effects of living with stress on my body. I've started crying all the time and having panic attacks when I wake up. All I've been able to fix so far is the panic attack. I set my alarm for about 3 am and take an Ativan. Now at least I can wake up without bursting into tears and falling apart. I hate taking meds but it was beyond me. I can't take it at bedtime as it wears off before I wake up. It also helps me to get out. I take the kids swimming almost every day, and we are still doing light schoolwork for an hour or two a day. I just need things to fill my day and keep me from sitting and crying.

[Annie G]

I ride my bike. Alone. On a trail away from our house. I have time to think, focus, pray, be frustrated, and near the end of the ride, hopeful is an emotion that I can feel.

 

You have to find your bike ride. It might be zumba, walking, painting, whatever. But you have to find a way to cope with the stress...because it's not going away. I'd rather find a way to eliminate the stress but that's not going to happen.

 

Hope you find a good way to cope. It makes a world of difference.

[ChristyB in TN]

I have to run at least 45 minutes a day or I just can't handle the stress. Lately, it has been very important and I have to find the time for it. Anything that is aerobic works wonders and actually gives you more energy. Today I needed to run at 10 am because I thought my head might explode from stress and I remembered that I ran at 6 am. :tongue_smilie: Advil had to suffice. I need this month to end. I have a large vein in my forehead that is not getting smaller.

[mom4him]

Thanks everyone. I know I didn't get a personal response to all of you but I did read all the post and appreciate the time and energy that each of you took.

 

It has been another really wild day and I am exhausted tonight. My youngest is in one of his really down moods and I just want to go to bed. I know that focusing on my Heavenly Father is the only thing that is really going to get me through and that is what I am trying to carve out, the time to do that more effectively.

 

Bless each of you in your journey of more stress than you feel you can handle.

[VeritasMama]

Caffeine.

 

But, the more effective way is to eat right, have some "quiet time" every day, and when I read at night I find I am more peaceful. Also, when I get lax with my prayers my stress really ramps up, so a consistent prayer life can also help. This is usually part of my "quiet time."

 

I also find gardening and yard work to be therapuetic, even though I am not very good at it, but I rarely get around to it!

 

:grouphug:

[mom4him]

Caffeine.

 

But, the more effective way is to eat right, have some "quiet time" every day, and when I read at night I find I am more peaceful. Also, when I get lax with my prayers my stress really ramps up, so a consistent prayer life can also help. This is usually part of my "quiet time."

 

I also find gardening and yard work to be therapuetic, even though I am not very good at it, but I rarely get around to it!

 

:grouphug:

You made me smile. Caffeine is not a good option for me either. I get shake, crabby, hyper, then crash, hours later. NO ONE LIKES ME WHEN I DO CAFFEINE!:lol:

 

I agree, the quiet time is promimemt/must do. I am working on that. I also find the gardening is therapuetic. If I wake up early, many times I will go out into my flower gardens and it is very refreshing.

[Lisbeth]

I go to the range. ;)

[mom4him]

I go to the range. ;)

 

:lol::lol::lol:

Ok, I don't have a gun. Do they rent them at the shooting ranges?

[LostSurprise]

What helps me:

 

*having one room which is chaos-free. Somewhere to go. Something to look at which is controlled and in order.

 

*going outside. Let my face be in the sun.

 

*screaming in the bathroom or showering, playing loud music, and singing at the top of my lungs.

 

*hard, physical work (housework, gardening) with my music playing so I don't start thinking again.

 

*a walk around the block (if that's possible).

 

*Reading. Different times mean different books. Sometimes I need the complete concentration of a difficult book. Sometimes I need something completely and utterly fluffy. Right now I'm reading the Mr. and Mrs. Darcy mysteries.

 

*A light stimulant. For me that's a square of chocolate or a cup of mocha (hot chocolate/coffee).

 

*15 minutes on a project which is all about ME.

 

*Lots of sleep.

 

*A night off. A movie. Shopping. A walk.

 

*Someone who will listen to all of this.