saraha Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 My oldest will be turning 13 in October, and since he is not in school with a lot of things to mark the passage of time (like changing grades, schools) we have been coming up with our own. Like big boy bike at 5, going hiking/camping with dad at 8, sleepover at our house at 10) but we want something big and meaningful for 13. Any suggestions? We looked up some tribal rights of passage and suggested those for his birthday- he said he'd pass.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Can he and dad go to a professional baseball game (or some other pro-sporting event). Is he allowed to go to the movies alone yet? If not, what about dropping him and a friend at the movies- alone. Kind of lame and not a lot of bang, but something they usually remember. Sorry I'm not more help- I wanted to do something big for ds when he turned 13, and couldn't come up w/ anything either. He turns 16 this summer, so I need to figure out something for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Some families I know send 13yo boy out to dinner with Dad. They dress up (nice pants, button down shirt, possibly a tie or jacket) and go out to the fanciest restaurant in town. Just the two of them. Some families use this as a time for "the Talk," but rather than getting into too many details in a public place, it may be a better time to 1) Reassure and encourage son that he can come to the parents at any time for any discussion. 2) Discussion expectations of how to treat women, since even though most 13yos are not dating (and should not be dating IMO!), 13yo boys in a group can make poor choices in speaking about women and how they treat women. 3) Plans for the future: 3a) 13 is just before high school. Does ds have any plans for how he wants to prepare for college? Take a language? (Our college requires 3 years of a high school language to opt out of college language requirements). Does ds have a career goal or interest? Examples: If he wants to be a policeman, should you sign him up for Tae kwan do? If he wants to be an actor, should he do lots of writing in high school (many successful actors make work for themselves by writing scripts, eg: Matt Damon/Ben Affleck, Sylvester Stallone). If he wants to be a journalist, does he have subscriptions/access to major newspapers and magazines to read now so he will know all the major players, policies, and history when he is working as a journalist? 3b) "Many lifechanging events occur between ages 16-25. We hope you make good choices in this time period so you have a good life." Below are questions/topics to mention on this subject. They don't need to be answered in any detail at age 13 or at all at age 13, but I DO think that both boys AND girl should be aware that the choices they make in these next ~10 years can set them on a path for life that can be difficult to change if they make bad decisions. Examples: What kind of grades in high school are you going to get? (Good grades lead to more college opportunities.) What classes will you take? How hard will you study? Will you work in high school, or just study? How much time will you put into dating? Will you get your gf pregnant while still in high school, and how will that change your life? Will you marry before you finish your education? Will you have kids before you finish your education? Who will you marry, and what good and bad traits will they have; will you get along with their family? Will you have a college job working in fast food (not that there is anything wrong with that) or working for your college advisor getting experience in your field of study? How many college loans will you take? What role will drug and/or alcohol take in your life? Who are your friends, and do they encourage you to make good choices or bad choices? And on and on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGin Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 My oldest will be turning 13 in October, and since he is not in school with a lot of things to mark the passage of time (like changing grades, schools) we have been coming up with our own. Like big boy bike at 5, going hiking/camping with dad at 8, sleepover at our house at 10) but we want something big and meaningful for 13. Any suggestions? We looked up some tribal rights of passage and suggested those for his birthday- he said he'd pass.:001_smile: We let our son get an ear pierced, and it's also his "purity" ring, his sign of commitment to God and us to wait for romantic love until he's ready to be a husband, and to be God's man always. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 Thanks for giving me some things to consider I hadn't thought of the movies, I'll look into that Going out to dinner with just his dad he would like Wow, piercing his ear, hadn't thought of that:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 We took DS on a "adventure" that was something he couldn't do prior to age 13. For our DS, it was white water rafting (the more dangerous rapids that require you to be 13 or older). DH went with him, and they had a guide too. Perhaps there's an "adventure" type thing he could do that is for older children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb in NZ Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 Our dc were allowed to get their own cell phone & FB page at 13yo. They had to fund the cell phone themselves, but all 3dc had paper runs for a couple years before they turned 13yo. We did require that they be-friend me (Mom) on FB & be aware that I could (& do) occasionally check their FB page. This has made them realize that they needed to not put things on FB that they wouldn't tell me in person. :tongue_smilie: Here in NZ 13yo is the first year of highschool, so our dc took on bigger responsibilities at 13yo & as they proved themselves reliable, they earned privliges. We began to do more indepth discussions of what their long-term goals were in life & how they envisioned themselves achieving those goals. Friends of ours have 2 milestone birthdays for their dc. At 10yo their dc get to go away with Dad for a weekend adventure. At 13yo their dc get to go away with Dad for a week-long adventure. Milestones in our family = 2yo = first haircut 5yo = first wristwatch & offically begin school 13yo = cellphone & FB page, begin highschool 15yo = get own ATM card, get Learner's License (now 16yo :glare:) 16yo = begin tertiary studies 18yo = legally an adult 21yo = traditional celebration of passage into adulthood (tertiary training finished & now take on full adult responsibilities) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 thanks everybody, you are giving me some good ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 Today is my ds' 16th birthday! We were trying to get a cheap flight so he and dh could fly somewhere really cool - just overnight - New York City, Orlando, a Caribbean Island, etc. But, flights were REALLY expensive. So, now we're taking him in a hot air balloon! Could you do something like that? What about a limo ride? Take him out to dinner and a show in a limo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamachick2 Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 When my children turned 13, they got a box of Tide, a bottle of Downey, and a laundry basket, along with lessons on how to use the washer. :001_smile: Of course, they went to school and I worked full time. The little ones, who are homeschooled, already know how to do their own laundry and have been folding and putting away their own clothes since they were five (I take care of the washer/dryer). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 My oldest will be turning 13 in October, and since he is not in school with a lot of things to mark the passage of time (like changing grades, schools) we have been coming up with our own. Like big boy bike at 5, going hiking/camping with dad at 8, sleepover at our house at 10) but we want something big and meaningful for 13. Any suggestions? We looked up some tribal rights of passage and suggested those for his birthday- he said he'd pass.:001_smile: Family Road Trip! Give him a budget and a map and let him plan it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 DD just turned 13 in January. Went out to nice dinner all dressed up...she has a "fancy dress" collection from mostly thrift stores, and we actually allowed her to wear one out for dinner. After dinner, her and I checked into a hotel for a mom/daughter night, talked about growing up, etc. Next day, since she was allowed to start wearing makeup at 13, we went to Ulta (makeup store) and let her get a makeover and pick a few items to take home. Now I'm trying to think of something for 16... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Oh! I just thought of something. A friend took her daughter on a helicopter ride over our city/area for her 13th birthday. I don't know if you can afford something like that, but it would be kinda cool for someone who isn't afraid of flying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 When my children turned 13, they got a box of Tide, a bottle of Downey, and a laundry basket, along with lessons on how to use the washer. :001_smile: Of course, they went to school and I worked full time. The little ones, who are homeschooled, already know how to do their own laundry and have been folding and putting away their own clothes since they were five (I take care of the washer/dryer). This made me laugh, but it's probably not what the OP had in mind! My ds will be 13 this fall, so I'm keeping an eye on this thread. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 I bought my oldest a nice Leatherman Multitool when he turned 12. In hindsight I wish we had started him with a toolbox to add tools to when he turned 15 or 16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 Thanks, you all are way more creative than I am Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mamachick2 Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I actually had a makeover with my daughter, as well. I didn't buy her the makeup though. I did buy her the products to take care of her skin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Our dh took our 13yo (who is now 18) on an overnight camping trip. Well, it was in a cabin at a Christian camp/retreat center! They pigged out on snacks, did a devotional together, hiked, dh completed his "birds and bees" talk with ds (yes, we give them the very last bit at age 12-13 and we like it that way, lol ;) ) and dh presented him with a compass. The compass is symbolic, but also useful. He thought about a Swiss Army knife but waited for our klutzy boy to get a little older. hehe Ds also got dog tags with his name and favorite verse on them. He still wears them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiffanieh Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Since this is the beginning of "manhood" so to speak...we plan to contact all the important men in DS life (uncles, grandfathers, Sunday School teachers, coaches, etc..) and have each of them write a special letter to him. In the letter can be memories, advise, what they see in our child as he's grown and who he is becoming, etc. Then I will have the book compiled into a professional looking book that he can keep, and read for years and years to come! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny from Tenny Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 This idea isn't original with me (a friend inspired me), but we asked friends from church and family (including my husband and me) who were older to write a letter to our son prior to his 13th birthday to encourage him in his pursuits, dreams, education, friendships, spiritual journey, etc. and any words of wisdom that they had for a young man - pitfalls to avoid, Scripture they wanted to share, mistakes they would encourage him to avoid that perhaps they made. You get the idea. Then I found a really nice wooden treasure box that we put the letters in (no we didn't read them) and did a presentation at his birthday party. These weren't read out loud but were for him to keep and read when he wanted. Then my husband did a sort of blessing and coming of age mini speech. Nothing fancy, but it meant a lot to him and marked the occasion as "special". Blessings, Penny __________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted October 15, 2012 Author Share Posted October 15, 2012 (edited) Bumping this, his b-day is next week and wondered if anyone had any last minute ideas to add. Thanks! Edited October 15, 2012 by saraha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 You could take him and the significant men in his life to the go-cart track :D. Then, they can go out for man-food after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 My dh let my ds drive the car for the first time (early in the morning in a local parking lot). :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 :001_smile: It made him very happy and he feels older. Since he is 13 he can now have a FB account and a gmail account. He is allowed online. I still keep watch/control, but he does feel as if he gained some new freedoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCoppock Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 My son turned 13 in August. His gift from me was stock in Disney, which he absolutely LOVED and has bragged about to just about everyone he knows. lol We will continue to add to his portfolio as he gets older, but I thought this was a great way of moving toward adulthood. You can purchase stock through Disney for a single transaction of $250 or a monthly direct deposit of $50/month. (these are both minimums) I'm not sure if other children would be as excited, but he has taken a strong interested in business and finances. My husband purchased a manual on computer building and is working with DS to build his first computer. My son has read the manual and recites from it regularly. He enjoys searching for inexpensive parts and spending time with dad creating something useful. I'm watching this thread closely as I'm at a loss of what to buy for Christmas for him. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 16, 2012 Share Posted October 16, 2012 Some families I know send 13yo boy out to dinner with Dad. They dress up (nice pants, button down shirt, possibly a tie or jacket) and go out to the fanciest restaurant in town. Just the two of them. Some families use this as a time for "the Talk," but rather than getting into too many details in a public place, it may be a better time to 1) Reassure and encourage son that he can come to the parents at any time for any discussion. 2) Discussion expectations of how to treat women, since even though most 13yos are not dating (and should not be dating IMO!), 13yo boys in a group can make poor choices in speaking about women and how they treat women. 3) Plans for the future: 3a) 13 is just before high school. Does ds have any plans for how he wants to prepare for college? Take a language? (Our college requires 3 years of a high school language to opt out of college language requirements). Does ds have a career goal or interest? Examples: If he wants to be a policeman, should you sign him up for Tae kwan do? If he wants to be an actor, should he do lots of writing in high school (many successful actors make work for themselves by writing scripts, eg: Matt Damon/Ben Affleck, Sylvester Stallone). If he wants to be a journalist, does he have subscriptions/access to major newspapers and magazines to read now so he will know all the major players, policies, and history when he is working as a journalist? 3b) "Many lifechanging events occur between ages 16-25. We hope you make good choices in this time period so you have a good life." Below are questions/topics to mention on this subject. They don't need to be answered in any detail at age 13 or at all at age 13, but I DO think that both boys AND girl should be aware that the choices they make in these next ~10 years can set them on a path for life that can be difficult to change if they make bad decisions. Examples: What kind of grades in high school are you going to get? (Good grades lead to more college opportunities.) What classes will you take? How hard will you study? Will you work in high school, or just study? How much time will you put into dating? Will you get your gf pregnant while still in high school, and how will that change your life? Will you marry before you finish your education? Will you have kids before you finish your education? Who will you marry, and what good and bad traits will they have; will you get along with their family? Will you have a college job working in fast food (not that there is anything wrong with that) or working for your college advisor getting experience in your field of study? How many college loans will you take? What role will drug and/or alcohol take in your life? Who are your friends, and do they encourage you to make good choices or bad choices? And on and on. I like this. I also like a weekend trip with dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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