How much spare time do your dh's have in the evenings and on the

[MJN]

weekends? I'm talking about down time where they don't have anything to do on the honey do list or projects they want to work on.

[Sue G in PA]

Well, mine has too much if you ask me. He has a honey do list about a mile long that he hasn't touched even after some very gently "reminding" on my part. I just give up and end up doing it myself. :glare: Weekends seem to be a blur of swim meets, church, visiting family and catching up on chores (for me!) and napping (for dh!). As for evenings, my dh so desperately want to just talk to me about his day or this or that achievement at work as soon as he gets home. Well, that is the time the dc want his attention and it should be that way. By the time evening rolls around and dc are in bed...dh is pooped. So, we rarely get that time to just talk. I was just thinking about this tonight as dh snoozed on the couch.

[Mrs. H.]

My dh is usually home early on Fridays if at all possible, and he either works in the yard, mowing and such, or helps me in the garden. Then he plays with the kids while I cook dinner (they love frisbee in the yard right now). When it's too dark to be outside, or the skeeters get too bad, he comes in and hits the couch.

 

On Saturdays we either head to the river, or do yard/house chores, like household repairs, or current projects (deck, garden fence, orchard, etc.). There is usually some sort of sporting event that dh shuts down to watch in the middle of the day if we're home, then he heads back out to do more of the same.

 

I guess you could say his free time is from whatever time he gets off, until time to go to work the next day. If there is an immediate need or project he wants to work on, fine. If he wants to hang out, go skiing, or sleep until 10 on Saturday, that's fine, too. He works hard during the week, so I try and let him have his weekends totally free, but he's still at home with us, or out somewhere with us.

[amy g.]

Mine has none at all.

 

He gets up at 4:00 am to go to work, and when he gets home, he takes care of the baby and the animals, or takes the kids to Scouts.

 

He does all of the grocery shopping, and the weekends are usually double booked.

 

It's a good thing he likes working!

[charlotteb]

My dh has about 4 1/2 hours free during the week and pretty much all day throughout the weekend. He works 2 jobs so I don't ask much of him at home. DS cuts the grass so no yard work for DH. And I handle all the household chores. My only request is that he spends some good quality time with the kids so I can have some "me" time.

[mcconnellboys]

Well, my husband works a little longer hours Monday through Thursday (ten hours days), so that he can have three day weekends. So he's generally off Friday through Sunday. Now, he does have things to do during this time, but all in all it gives him more time with the boys, I think. We also have more options for travel, etc. He does sometime have to work on Fridays, but not too often.

[Night Elf]

Lots of time. My DH works from home most of the time and when he does go into the office, he's home by 5:00pm. We spend time on the weekends doing things that need to be done around the house but it's not like we have any major projects going on. My DH doesn't "do" projects unless they are planned things and then we do them together.

[Pensguys]

My dh gets home usually around 6:30 unless there is a big project going on at work. We eat dinner, then sometimes he plays with the kids outside OR they watch the Braves game on TV. He is asleep by 9:30 (or early) most nights. He is supposed to have Fridays off (he works four 10hr days), but occasionally will have to work on Fri. If he is off on Fri, then he will/can stay up later than 9:30...usually until 10:30ish. Now that spring/summer is here, he'll do some outside work sometimes on Fri or Sat, but rests or does something with the boys then rests. Sunday we have church, naps, rest time, bed time.

[TammyinTN]

Ron usually gets home around 6:30 to 7pm each night. I have dinner ready or we grab something out. Then it's relax and talk, watch tv and bedtime is usually around 9:30pm for him...he's up early and off to work most days by 6:30am. The weekends are mine though...he helps do stuff around here(I try to clean on Friday so that's not what were doing on the weekends), Ron II to the movies, plays ball, go exploring and such. Sunday is a down day..relax and no work! We fix easy meals and just enjoy our little family time. :)

[battlemaiden]

Honestly? Nearly none. When my dh isn't at sea, he gets home after 8pm and gets up by 4:30. Weekends are reserved for time with family usually doing something productive- repairs etc. But we try to do those things together. On Sunday we do try to have a time of rest after church and lunch. We call it the "mandatory family nap"- mostly because he needs the physical sleep before starting on Monday morning.

 

I do worry sometimes that he doesn't have any personal time, but he denies that he needs it. He is recharged by family. But down time is a luxury during this season of life.

 

Jo

[fivetails]

Right now - very little....but it's because he's working away from home right now (away as in other side of the country) at a job where his shifts are 12 hours plus travel time - he gets on a bus at 6am and doesn't get "home" until 9pm.

[lwilliams1922]

DH and I both do real estate so our schedules are flexible but our to-do lists are huge. I'm really supposed to be on line at 6:00 am this morning to do some internet marketing before the babies get up but I stopped in here first :)

 

Free time for me and DH is few and far between as we have a 1 and 2 year old. We realize that we need time for each other to stay connected. Doesn't help that i'm a morning person up between 5 and 6 to get started. DH works hard but if some free time presents itself he will nap.

 

Sometimes I feel like a should make a reward chart. You need to complete 3 items from the honey do list to earn a nap. :lol:

 

If I took a nap or a break I feel like our house would be like a tornado hit it. Picking up after 3 kids and DH as well as feeding is a full time job in and of it self.

[Tracey in TX]

Interesting question, as it's a glimpse into each person's life.

 

DH has no time on week nights, because he works very long hours and travels extensively. It's not uncommon for him to walk in the door at 11pm. Sometimes he is home to take DC to sports, but he's working almost entire time.

 

Weekends I give him a LOT of relaxation time to compensate for the work week. He typically has Sunday afternoon off to play or rest. Saturdays are sports days and any driving age adult is fair game :)

[ClassicMom]

My dh drives a truck during the week. Although he rarely does long-haul, he still is gone from 4 or 5 am - 8 or 11 pm. So on the weekend he tries to get in as much time with the kids as he can. Especially our Autistic son and teenage daughter.

 

He also helps me bring in all the groceries/pharmaceuticals for the week (big job) and take care of our handicapped son's needs for the weekend which gives me a break.

 

We are lucky if we get to go out for coffee and dessert. We usually order out and get some movie rentals to spend time together Sat. evening. That's about it if at all. I use to resent it but have found that is the way our lives are now and is not the way it will always be. We try to take walks when we can and 10 minutes here and there. Someday it will just be the two of us and we will miss all the activity that is going on in the house.

[Michelle T]

DH works very long hours. He's a loan consultant, and times are hard these days, so he can't very well turn down work. He is at his office long hours, and his cell phone is always ringing even when he's home. He often has to go into the office on weekends (he's there now) and he's never really "off work".

 

I don't ask him to do much around the house because of this. I do get annoyed though when my mother calls and wants him to come hang a picture or something at her house. I have plenty for him to do here, he just doesn't have time.

Michelle T

[Kathleen in VA]

My dh gets very little downtime. He is a letter carrier and he cleans doctor's offices at night. He gets up at 5am and gets home anywhere between 9-11pm. He gets a rotating day off and tries to spend that day with his father who was diagnosed with lung cancer last December. He usually takes his dad to some kind of doctor's appointment as there are many different ones fil is seeing right now.

 

When he is at home he works on the computer - he is trying to create a database that he will be able to market. He loves databases and computers and would much rather be doing that than carrying mail so he is trying to educate himself along those lines.

 

Today is our 22nd anniversary so we (the family) will be enjoying pizza and a video (dh is at Blockbuster hoping to get National Treasure 2.

[Danestress]

weekends? I'm talking about down time where they don't have anything to do on the honey do list or projects they want to work on.

 

 

Hmmm

 

My husband always has a list of projects he wants to work on in the larger sense. He constantly makes lists. But he's very able to put the list down, go play tennis or swim, workout, paint, read, or listen to music. I would say that MOST nights my DH (and I, too) have about 2 hours in the evening after the kids are in bed and before we really need to be in bed ourselves. He always does the dishes, and then after that, he's "off duty," as I am after I read to the kids. Sometimes we have a bit less time if the kids stay up late of if dinner was very late.

 

On the weekend, my DH's "have to" list would include church, mowing the lawn, a few household things, but most of the time is his to do as he pleases. Though honestly, it's hard to say because he spends a tremendous amount of that time with his children. He projects and attitude that he wants to spend his time time them. So it's some combination of "fatherly duty" and "what I want."