Need homeschool advice for an acquaintance adopting a 5 year old from Ethiopia

[Captivated]

I have an acquaintance who has asked for a little advice.

 

She is adopting a 5 year old boy from Ethiopia this summer and plans to homeschool him for a year with the goal of Public school after that. From what she says this is a very broken little guy and knows no english. She has asked for curriculum advice. She is a former public school teacher but since I homeschool she wanted to know if there were any curriculums out there that would help her.

 

I know there are homeschool moms here who have adopted older children...any leads I can send her?

[Murmer]

Five in a row or even before five in a row and lots and lots of snuggling and attachment.

[LAS in LA]

Wow, I would probably not be trying to do school with this child. Helping him adjust to a very new culture and language would be my first goal. Lots of read-alouds (as pp said), lots of home experiences (cooking, cleaning, time in the yard), community experiences as he's ready for them (grocery shopping, library, church, parades). Maybe some formal work towards the end of the year, like writing letters and numbers, perhaps even reading (OPGTR maybe?). I am not on the unschooler end of the spectrum, but IMO she needs to adjust to his needs and be very flexible with her educational plans.

[Ellie]

Wow, I would probably not be trying to do school with this child. Helping him adjust to a very new culture and language would be my first goal. Lots of read-alouds (as pp said), lots of home experiences (cooking, cleaning, time in the yard), community experiences as he's ready for them (grocery shopping, library, church, parades). Maybe some formal work towards the end of the year, like writing letters and numbers, perhaps even reading (OPGTR maybe?). I am not on the unschooler end of the spectrum, but IMO she needs to adjust to his needs and be very flexible with her educational plans.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[chepyl]

I would not do anything formal. Just read, sing songs, play with toys. Priority number one has to be attachment and number two is learning English. She can't do school with him if he cannot speak her language. That alone will take a while and a lot of her energy I am sure.

 

When he speaks fluently and they have had time to bond as a family, then some letter formation and phonics, but I would hold off until next summer. Do lots of prewritingskills - coloring, free drawing, playdough, finger painting, etc. He may imitate if she makes letters. But tell her not to force it.

[SonshineLearner]

I'd join some group that has adopted kids :) I'd suggest a curriculum of cds (book and music) which he can listen to as he pleases. I'd do cookies, cooking/baking, (find some "comfort" foods for him) I'd do lots of play and have the 2 year or so plan ;)

[frankcassiesmom]

I agree that it seems like a crazy goal. The whole first year I would just cuddle and cook and READ and play and become Mommy. Then think of omeschooling from there.

[Tanikit]

I do not know what Ethiopia is like but know that many of the children adopted from Southern African countries can be severely malnourished and have other issues that need addressing first. I would probably first determine how healthy the child is and perhaps visit the doctor to pick up on any issues that need addressing. After that I would put the child on a really good diet, give him/her plenty of time to adjust to a new routine - things like bathing every night, story time at bedtime, three meals a day with snacks, the things we think are all part of a normal routine may need to be learnt depending where the child comes from. And then plenty of cuddles, time playing and getting used to toys in quantities the child has probably never seen before and speaking to him/her as much as possible before any formal homeschooling occurs. She could also adopt some form of education like tot school (www.1plus1plus1equal1.blogspot.com) if she is intent on teaching the child as this is all play based and she can assess where he/she is more easily.

[EmeraldGirl]

Wow, I would probably not be trying to do school with this child. Helping him adjust to a very new culture and language would be my first goal. Lots of read-alouds (as pp said), lots of home experiences (cooking, cleaning, time in the yard), community experiences as he's ready for them (grocery shopping, library, church, parades). Maybe some formal work towards the end of the year, like writing letters and numbers, perhaps even reading (OPGTR maybe?). I am not on the unschooler end of the spectrum, but IMO she needs to adjust to his needs and be very flexible with her educational plans.

 

:iagree:we adopted 4 older children at the same time. The first year of hs'g was all about getting to know each other, attaching and learning the verbal language through many experiences out in the world and reading, reading, reading.

[MyLittleBears]

Wow, I would probably not be trying to do school with this child. Helping him adjust to a very new culture and language would be my first goal. Lots of read-alouds (as pp said), lots of home experiences (cooking, cleaning, time in the yard), community experiences as he's ready for them (grocery shopping, library, church, parades). Maybe some formal work towards the end of the year, like writing letters and numbers, perhaps even reading (OPGTR maybe?). I am not on the unschooler end of the spectrum, but IMO she needs to adjust to his needs and be very flexible with her educational plans.

 

:iagree: too!

[Hunter]

The OP's friend is looking for curriculum advice, not parenting advice, right? At first I couldn't post, because I had no curriculum advice and was so overwhelmed by my desire to offer parenting advice. This morning, though, all of a sudden my vision is clearer. There are some things she CAN do.

 

There are parts of BFSU that can certainly be done for science. Organizing things by color, comparing a full balloon with an empty one. Things that even if the child doesn't fully understand because mom can't explain them in Ethiopian, are still stimulating the child's mind in that area, and providing the structure of mom officially doing science and being able to report that to the school board, or whomever she is reporting to.

 

I think Geography instead of history would be a good focus, for social studies. I would get a globe and big wall map. I like National Geographic Beginner's World Atlas. It has large pictures of the world drawn with the different major ecosystems, that provide inspiration for the child to color in his own maps. Units on the neighborhood will give structure for just spending time getting to know it. It is easy to get a book on a country and look at the pictures, watch videos, cook a meal, etc and point it out on the globe and maps. But I think the neighborhood should be the main focus. She could also do careers right? The post man and grocer and the doctor?

 

Holidays is social studies? Purchasing a set of monthy themed lessons on each month. I think that also counts as science. Certainly it does if she includes nature study. Moon watching is science. I'd do a lot of calendar work.

 

I think I would want pictures of all the first reading sight words and another list of the easiest phonics words. I would spend time teaching English devoted to these lists and be able to log that as "reading".

 

For art I would look at mastering coloring, cutting, pasting, etc. Would the Rod and Staff curricula be appropriate for that, or does she need secular?

 

For music I would check out Waldorf resources that focus on the rhythm of the day, week, and year. Also see what they have for art.

 

Okay, math. I would look at the old Ray's Arithmetic. They spend quite a bit of time in being able to recognize the numbers one through 10 by sight, without having to count them. For example when learning 10 group the items as 3 and 7, and 5 and 5, and 6 and 4, and 9 and 1, and 2 and 8. This all prepares the student to learn addition and subtraction.

 

Does this help?

Edited February 7, 2012 by Hunter

[stripe]

I do not know what Ethiopia is like but know that many of the children adopted from Southern African countries can be severely malnourished and have other issues that need addressing first. I would probably first determine how healthy the child is and perhaps visit the doctor to pick up on any issues that need addressing.

I highly recommend the book Take Your Pediatrician with You: Keeping Your Child Healthy at Home and on the Road (A Johns Hopkins Press Health Book) by Christopher S. Ryder.

 

It is an excellent book for any parent, but it is especially useful for those who travel internationally, those with children with special needs who travel (domestic or international), and is useful to those where a parent is an immigrant as well as where the child was adopted internationally. It contains specific information on common health issues of adopted children. I think this book is totally fabulous for just about anyone, and covers things I've never seen elsewhere.

 

I think learning English would be job #1. The child will not be able to learn anything in English if he can't understand it.

[Haiku]

The OP's friend is looking for curriculum advice, not parenting advice, right?

 

Unless she's already adopted an older child from overseas, she probably doesn't know what it's like. Those of us who have BTDT can certainly share our experiences, and if our suggestion is "no formal school/curriculum," so be it.

 

I say that I homeschooled my older adopted child for the first year she was wait us, but in reality I did nothing academic the first six months. After that we worked on phonics and math, and that's it. As she was a pre-teen, I didn't feel that we had a year or two to do nothing academic like I would feel with a five year old.

 

Were I the OP's friend, I wouldn't plan anything until my child was home and we had adjusted as a family. Five in a Row would be totally lost on a 5 year old from an Ethiopian orphanage.

 

Tara

[Hunter]

Some animal and plant science could be done, without understanding English. Pets and plants would be comforting companions for a child.

 

I'll keep thinking.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Wow, I would probably not be trying to do school with this child. Helping him adjust to a very new culture and language would be my first goal. Lots of read-alouds (as pp said), lots of home experiences (cooking, cleaning, time in the yard), community experiences as he's ready for them (grocery shopping, library, church, parades). Maybe some formal work towards the end of the year, like writing letters and numbers, perhaps even reading (OPGTR maybe?). I am not on the unschooler end of the spectrum, but IMO she needs to adjust to his needs and be very flexible with her educational plans.

 

I think this is great advice! At 5 I'd focus on improving any health issues and folding the child into the family. Lots of trips to the library and letting the child choose stories to bring home. Working on letters, numbers, shapes, colors, and pre-reading and pre-math are all good ideas. Keep in mind that there are some preschool concepts that are culturally different (speaking generally) such as animals and animal sounds. Incorporating as much of this as possible in play or conversation form would be great. If your friend intends to use the local school system in the end she may want to connect with them and get to know their expectations for entry into K or 1st.

[BethG]

I agree that it seems like a crazy goal. The whole first year I would just cuddle and cook and READ and play and become Mommy. Then think of homeschooling from there.

 

 

:iagree:

[Jaybee]

Our little boy was almost 4. So many of these children have not had the kinds of natural learning stimulation our babies have around them from the beginning. Most any kind of formal curriculum would be wasted for quite a few months, imo. What our son needed was lots and lots of snuggling, (which included a few toddler books he grew to love and "quote" even before he knew what the words meant), predictable routine, and the kinds of interaction and activities most of our bio toddlers receive in the routine course of life.

 

Wading pool, sandbox, legos, puzzles, balls, crayons and coloring books, mazes, scissor activities (Kumon has some great books for this), clay/playdoh, Signing Time videos, trampolines, and so on. At first, our son did not know what to do with a crayon and paper. He would just tentatively scribble a little somewhere on the side of the paper. Four months later, he was coloring quite well for his age, and we did nothing to even show him what to do. With legos, at first he would get very frustrated because he tried to build things that did not make sense according to physics, so they would fall apart. Again, within a few months, he had figured it out, and his small motor skills had improved amazingly. There are lots of little skills that make up daily life for us, that these children do not know, so it is good to provide the time and space for them to do some catching up without pressure. It helps to think of it as starting from the beginning; but then most older kids just move through the stages a lot faster than the babies/toddlers do. They need the stages though.

[Hunter]

So much of daily life can be translated and organized and scheduled into a curriculum, making the OPs friend feel more comfortable. It doesn't have to be an either or situation. She can meet the child's needs and still do "school". Think of it as backwards unschooling.

 

What curricula is out there to teach colors? That would be a great unit study idea.

 

OT, but funny. My oldest was totally uninterested in learning the names of the colors and it was starting to become a delay. I bought a box of popsicles and acted very dumb and kept giving him what he didn't want over and over and over until he started asking for the one he wanted by saying the color. But it kind of backfired because for about two years after that, everything was "cherry red" and "chocolate brown" and "blueberry" and "grape purple" and banana yellow, etc. We lived in a very white area and I hadn't realized what a problem that was until he said, "Mommy, look, look a chocolate person!" Yes everyone turned around and stared at us. Having myself grown up on an island that was only 3% white, it hadn't occurred to me to the need to seek out multicultural opportunities for my children :-0

Edited February 7, 2012 by Hunter

[Stellalarella]

I do agree with many things said about spending that first year building the parent-child relationship. But my first hand experience has shown me that adoptive parents are the ones who need to expend the energy to get answers.

 

It concerns me when well-meaning friends come online to a forum and ask advice for friends who are not on the forum.

 

It is a kindness to want to help a friend, but one of the struggles many adoptive parents face is the struggle to admit when they need help with the children they are adopting. When parents are really ready to go out and dig up information and get help on their own volition, it's a good thing.

 

With gentleness in my voice, I just want to encourage the OP to not short circuit this process for her friend.

[Haiku]

So much of daily life can be translated and organized and scheduled into a curriculum, making the OPs friend feel more comfortable.

 

But what about the child's comfort? Even a five year old will realize that when mom pulls out the curriculum, he's expected to perform. And get the right answer.

 

It's the same advice I give to any parent of a young child who is looking for preschool curricula: don't waste your time. When you invest (financially and emotionally) in a curriculum, it's very difficult not to expect results. It's very difficult to try to implement a curriculum and keep an attitude of no expectations.

 

Honestly, the absolute LAST thing a five year old international adoptee (who will probably be developmentally more like a 2 or 3 year old) needs is any sort of academic pressure.

 

Tara

[Captivated]

I do agree with many things said about spending that first year building the parent-child relationship. But my first hand experience has shown me that adoptive parents are the ones who need to expend the energy to get answers.

 

It concerns me when well-meaning friends come online to a forum and ask advice for friends who are not on the forum.

 

It is a kindness to want to help a friend, but one of the struggles many adoptive parents face is the struggle to admit when they need help with the children they are adopting. When parents are really ready to go out and dig up information and get help on their own volition, it's a good thing.

 

With gentleness in my voice, I just want to encourage the OP to not short circuit this process for her friend.

 

I BARELY know this lady, she came to me and asked for information. I had none to give her but said I'd ask others with more experience and send the info on. I "think" this is her process. As I stated, she was a public school teacher and part of her process has been to realize that THAT won't work right off the bat.

[Captivated]

THANK YOU ALL for taking the time to respond. I really barely know this lady, but she knows I homeschool and came to me for advice and your advice has been so valuable.

 

When she first asked me she didn't say he was from Ethiopia just that he was 5 and she would get him this summer so of course I rattled off a list of kindergarten curriculum. :) THEN she said "oh, he is from Ethiopia and knows no English." My immediate thoughts echoed most of what you all said. Snuggling, bonding, reading picture books, family life.

 

Thanks again!

[ElizabethB]

A good DVD to snuggle with is talking letter factory. They can eat popcorn and learn letter names and sounds. Learning the sounds early might help his English, my son's pronunciation improved when he watched through the movie multiple times at age 2.

[go_go_gadget]

Does she speak Amharic? I could *maybe* see doing some schooling after a little while if that were the case, but if it isn't I can't imagine how (or why, even) she'd go about it. Does she have older children?

[Hunter]

Does she speak Amharic? I could *maybe* see doing some schooling after a little while if that were the case, but if it isn't I can't imagine how (or why, even) she'd go about it. Does she have older children?

 

Children who speak no English attend immersion classes in the public schools every day. There is a lot I do not agree with, but there is some good stuff that happens too.

 

This child qualifies for kindergarten or special needs preschool. I taught in a public school special needs preschool and volunteered at a head start school. There were children who did not speak English and the teachers did not speak their language. Again not optimal, but not a total waste of time. And no one was accusing us of abusing our non English speaking students.

 

I listed a lot of resources, that CAN be taught to children who don't speak English.

 

Children don't even have to see curriculum, for a mom to be following one. And it doesn't have to be stressful. Planning play times and field trips that provide opportunity for optimal exposure to what is expected to be learned by 2-5 year olds isn't mean and abusive, sometimes it's merely efficient.

 

Waldorf preschool is not stressful! But it does qualify as "curriculum".

 

Yes, I'll bet SOME moms are pushy and non efficient when figuring out what to do with their new little adoptees, but I'll bet most figure out quickly what is too much and back off. I trust moms in general.

 

Most moms of a 5 year old are expected to hand in lesson plans of equal or superior quality to what would be offered to this child by the PS, and some of us do know about pieces here and there that will look good on paper, not be stressful, and actually be fun and helpful. As a "special needs" child he is expected to be following a plan, if not attending the freely offered early intervention classes. That "plan" can be nothing but play, if translated into educationalese.