The biggest mistake I ever made with homeschooling ....

[TheApprentice]

Trying Connect the Thoughts curriculum. Did.not.work.

[*Lulu*]

My greatest mistake with DS#1 is twofold. First, I made a typical first child error and stressed over EVERYTHING. This led to the second part of the mistake, being too wrapped up in my expectations to realize that my perception of DS's needs and his acctual needs were not one in the same. It took more than 2 years to undo the damage of that mistake. (Some days it feels as though we are still feeling the fallout. *sigh* )

 

My geatest mistake with DD#1 was not addressing her speech issues more forcefully, and not realizing how they could impact her ability to master phonics.

 

Time will tell for the rest of the crew.

 

As far as my big overarching homeschool mistake......it is allowing my personal desire for perfection to get in the way of "good enough" learning opportunities.

[herkey6]

We just started hsing last year. My kids were in PS. I didn't think that I could do it. That was my biggest mistake.

 

Dd 16

Ds 13

Dd 11

Dd 8

[emeraldjoy]

I have been thinking about this one a lot today as I have been struggling with my 12 year old over math (she has been tested (long story why) and has a math ability that is greater than 98 percent of other tested kids in America...according to the test) AND..... she basically flunks every single assignment and test I give her.....ahhhh!!!

 

My conclusion is this: I have put too much emphasis on her inherent intelligence from the time she was very little. It is how she has been defined in so many ways...she's smart, she just is and has been told that a lot, a lot, a lot...too much I believe.

 

So, one the biggest mistakes I have made is overemphasizing this inherent smartness and underemphasizing hard work. When she is faced with a challenge she gives up....it doesn't fit into her "inherently smart" world and so she doesn't give it a good try. I feel that if I had focused on hard work and effort more than smartness we would not have this struggle.

[edelweiss]

Speaking of math, I count starting with MUS as one of my biggest homeschooling mistakes. Unfortunately for my oldest we got to the end of Delta before I looked for something else. Oh, how I wish his math path had gone differently! Secondly, I sometimes wish I had made him put pencil to paper more often... but I think he will recover from that with less trauma.

 

I feel the same way about MUS. I really, really wish I wouldn't have started it with my DDs, and I wish I wouldn't have stuck with it as long as I did. I kept reading that you shouldn't switch math programs and that it is best to stick it out, so I did. I wish I had the confidence then to see that switching earlier was the right thing. My younger DD only did Primer and Alpha before we switched, but my older daughter did Primer through Delta. :sad: She is doing SOOOO much better in math now, but I fear that she will never have the confidence she could have had if we hadn't stuck with MUS for so long.

[LuvingLife]

Having a more relaxed year one year when a couple of my kids were in high school. It was health-related so kind of necessary, but still, it set them into a bad pattern that was difficult to break.

 

But, life happens, and all in all, I feel pretty good about how it went academically, and very good about how it went with them growing up to be kind, happy, creative, independent adults.

 

I agree with you! This year for me has been a little too "relaxed" for me academically, I haven't accomplished the things that need to be. But like you said, life happens and I feel like I have matured so much throughout this past year. I would have never had a chance to do this if I were in public school, and I know next year will be much better. :)

[laughing lioness]

 

So, one the biggest mistakes I have made is overemphasizing this inherent smartness and underemphasizing hard work. When she is faced with a challenge she gives up.....

:iagree:And, not getting on the same sheet of music with dh. I knew intuitively that something was "wrong" with dd, but my dh only heard my frustration and head banging- which always turned in to how I needed to be more patient and change my parenting style. As a result, dd (very smart in some areas, LD in others) sailed through with cr*ppy attitudes, laziness in areas that are difficult and quite a bit of pride. Oy vey.

[GTJo1996]

My biggest mistake/regret is that I didn't look into homeschooling BEFORE my DD went to school.

 

This is my biggest regret - so far! We're only on year 2 of HSing. What pushed me into HSing was how I saw DD's BFF soaring in HS while my child twiddled her thumbs waiting for the other kids to catch-on in PS. As a result BFF is now in 3rd grade while DD is in 2nd. But it's ok. I try to remind myself that I would have been a disaster trying to HS her with an infant at home too. So I think of her K year as what _I_ needed not necessarily what SHE needed.

[charlestonmom03]

My biggest regret so far is that I wasted time caring what other people think - those who think we are freaks, but also other homeschoolers who think we are too rigorous or that we have too much space between babies or whatever else they are thinking. Actually, I really regret I've wasted so much time trying to be friends with many other local homeschooling moms... It took me a long time to realize that I just don't like 90% of them and don't care what they think of me or our schooling. (Don't get me wrong, they are nice people, I just don't connect with them and don't want to be close friends.)

[runmiarun]

My main regret is thinking I needed a curriculum to teach something, when I don't.

 

 

This is me!!! I thought I needed a curriculum for everything. I am still coming to understand that *we* don't. Some things, yes we do need, somethings, no we don't. I am learning my children's abilities and adjusting as needed.

[ClassicalTwins]

Letting my K's sit in school miserable for 6 months. The tears every day to/from school should have been enough to pull them. 3yrs later and we are very happy!

[LG Gone Wild]

:D. I really was going to say that too...but I really don't mean it.

 

I think the biggest mistake I have made homeschooling, is thinking I could actually work and homeschool...and take care of aging parents...And new babies.....well...you know, SUPERWOMAN syndrome.

I can bring home the bacon...fry it up in a pan....never let him forget he's a man....lalalalalalalala!!!!

 

In dug the hole...it's up to me to fill it in....

 

Another big mistake I made....was always thinking I wasn't doing "enough". That is a defeatest attitude....and I used it to defeat myself and I got distracted from the real business of homeschooling and setting up a lifelong relationship with my kids.

 

Now, I am trying to get back on track. It is ok for me to rest sometimes, have fun, enjoy life, not just work, work, work and work some more...just to prove I am not a useless lump of flesh.

 

Faithe

 

Yes. That is all.

[Haiku]

My biggest mistake is one I still haven't resolved:

 

Felling guilty when we miss a "good opportunity" in favor of schoolwork and feeling guilty when we miss schoolwork in favor of a "good opportunity."

 

I haven't found the balance on that one yet.

 

Tara

[jillian]

I started too soon.

 

My four-year old asked me to teach her how to read. Once I bought a program, I couldn't figure out how to stop the train. She keeps asking for more and more and more, which is fine. I just WANT to do more fun stuff with her. We do a lot of crafts, cutting and pasting, and stuff I think a five-year old is supposed to do, but I always feel like I should have delayed everything more.

 

My two-year old is now asking me to teach her how to read. She gets out the letter flashcards, brings them to me, and says, "Teach me to read like Peanut". If I say we'll work on it later, she takes the cards to her big sister. Ugh. No way. She does do stuff with letters, but only things to occupy her while I work with my five-year old. I do break down and do the cards with her, but I want to get back into the forest and chase butterflies. When I take them to do outdoors stuff, they insist on taking school things. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

 

But really, I'm not complaining. I just want more magic for them.

This is my dd, she begs for school multiple times a day and not just the basics. DD is a new 4 and at her begging we started "school" last Sept. when she was 3.5

[shanvan]

My biggest mistake is one I still haven't resolved:

 

Felling guilty when we miss a "good opportunity" in favor of schoolwork and feeling guilty when we miss schoolwork in favor of a "good opportunity."

 

I haven't found the balance on that one yet.

 

Tara

 

Very nicely put! I'm still struggling with this one too! I am ridiculously happy whenever an activity gets cancelled (even if we were only 'thinking' about becoming involved!

[kalanamak]

Not moving into a smaller house closer to work and really simplifying everything I own earlier. I finally realized there was no "good" time to do this in the near future, and to bite the bullet, lose money on the house, and just MOVE.

[TechWife]

Losing sight of our family priorities, which resulted in placing more emphasis on academic endeavors than on spiritual instruction and character development. I fear we will never recover.

Edited January 23, 2012 by TechWife

[Mynyel]

My biggest mistake was not researching enough before getting started.

 

My biggest regret was not discovering the classical (Read WTM) method until last year.

 

*sigh* Well at least I have one (and a half) kids to get it right with! :)

[sandellie4]

Like a lot of pps, I wish I had started homeschooling sooner. One of my children was special needs and everyone was telling me how we were better off leaving her at public school where she could get services. How could we possibly afford to go private with the treatments she required? I had to fight, fight, fight for every service and then things were always going wrong: My child was limited to 30 min of speech a week, but, oh well, the therapist isn't coming this week, and can't make it three weeks from now, or no other kids show up so there is no service that week, etc. I really think I had a lighter form of PTSD when I left (not as severe as a vet's, of course, but I was really struggling, thinking about taking my kid to the beach and just disappearing from my family, etc.).

 

She was in 5th grade before I pulled both of my children out of school. By that point, her sister was being "punished" because I was so demanding. As a kindergartner, she had been allowed to sign out books outside of the picture book section, though with help from the librarian for appropriate content, but after a particularly rough IEP meeting -- they were telling me that accommodations that were allowed during class time were not allowed in testing situations...and my kid was failing to even demonstrate she could read -- her sister was abruptly no longer part of the "gifted" program. She had easily tested into the program, so I could get her back in with a fight. But it would just be another fight, and they would surely find another way to punish her.

 

Within months of leaving the school system, I discovered that we could find private therapy providers who were willing to give us substantial discounts because of the wide range of needs our daughter has -- and I know this isn't the case everywhere, but these professionals were so much better than what had been available from public school...ps, I realized later, just couldn't afford it. Plus, these providers were professional, and they were NICE. They knew I wanted what was best for my daughter and that I was busting a$$ to make it happen to the best of my ability. We were a TEAM.

 

It was my first step toward healing my family and myself. We had brought the school two beautiful children with good, strong characters and an excitement about learning. We finally had the chance to get them back. I wish I had been brave enough to do it sooner.

 

Sandy

[TracyR]

I don't feel "qualified" to teach Language Arts to my kids . . . and I'm a writer! So, I'm just plugging along with the LA curriculum we have KNOWING that my kids are getting a better education at home, regardless of how I feel about my qualifications. The LORD will use all to His good, even my mistakes!

 

Fear is never a good reason to use for not doing something.

 

As for using the "wrong" program for a subject, don't regret the decision to use it. Learn from it and move on. You wouldn't have known it was "wrong" unless you had used it in the first place. Now, when you look at similar programs, you'll know that certain style won't work, and you can look elsewhere.

 

 

You know what? I have a tough time teaching writing. Yet I can write. I'm not sure why this is though. I'm not sure if breaking down the steps really confuses me as I've always been a natural writer. Or that its different from how I was taught as a child. I don't know.

 

As for my regret. My regret was sending my kids to private school. Its a good school , and it looks advanced. But honestly its not as advanced as it seems.

Over the winter break I had my middle two home and still needed to homeschool my other two. Well I had them work on some CLE Light Units I had that were a level below what they are currently at now. They really struggled with them. I feel sending them was time wasted. So now this summer I'm going to have to catch them up.

What I've learned? That ps or private schools are not magical places that can teach any better than I can.