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Unworthy-does anyone feel this way?


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Okay, I am on these forums a lot-as well as others, and I am AMAZED at the amount of people that have their own blog pages, whatever you want to call them. Fantastic pages with music, daily postings, curriculum info, advice, links, etc..... I can barely post on here, and you women blow my mind!!! How are they able to do this, plus homeschool and everything else? And most have at least 5 kids (I have 2). My house is a complete mess, my days are unorganized, and I look like I just crawled out of bed! I feel unworthy!!!! Please tell me I'm not the only one.:lol:

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I know what you are saying. But what you are seeing of someone else's life is only a snapshot. You aren't seeing their messy closet or the things they are not good at. Believe me, I get what you are saying. My house is not the neatest or cleanest. I am not great with organization. I am not a good planner. But surely I have my own things I am good at, don't I? It gets tricky when we get into the compare game. :grouphug:

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Here was a very good thread on this issue:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31979

 

We're all as different as we can be with different energy levels, gifts, and priorities. No one does everything well, trust me. Your first priority should always be your children. The house and blogs should come way down the list IMHO. Twenty years from now they'll remember the time with you, not what your blog said or how clean your dining room table was :001_smile:.

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I know what you are saying. But what you are seeing of someone else's life is only a snapshot. You aren't seeing their messy closet or the things they are not good at. Believe me, I get what you are saying. My house is not the neatest or cleanest. I am not great with organization. I am not a good planner. But surely I have my own things I am good at, don't I? It gets tricky when we get into the compare game. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: Although this board has helped me tremendously in getting organized. Thank you!

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You just can not compare!! God has given us all different personalities and gifts to use to use as we raise our families. I have a personality that LOVES to plan and organize. This is a plus, but there are downsides to that also (as there are to EVERY positive trait). If you were to look at my blog that talks about my organization, you would see the plus sides of this, but you would never see the negative side of this trait. :-) Some people can get just more done in a day than others. I tend to be a person who can get a lot done. I don't know why, I just have lots of energy and like to keep busy. But, my best friend is way more thorough than I am. She can't get as much done, but she does what she does much better than I do. There are always trade-offs in life. Please don't be discouraged when you see other people's lives, just enjoy the gifts and talents you have been given and maximize those. :001_smile: There is always someone more _______(fill in quality here) than me and someone less_________than me, and I can spend a lot of wasted time doing that comparison game.

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Yup. What they said!

 

Anytime you choose to do something, you're choosing NOT to do something else. All the time I spend here is time I'm not spending organizing my bookshelves, or clearning off my table, or putting shoes back in the closet (they're all over the floor in front of the door right now). I've thought about starting a blog, but I don't have any more time to devote to it. I need to listen more than talk. So, I just hang out here. :) It would probably be good for me to clean more than listen here, but -- oh well! :)

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I think that as women we are always comparing ourselves to other women, moms, sisters, daughters,etc. It's one of my greatest challenges to accept me for me! This forum reflects a great panel of women who inspire me, challenge me and encourage me. I try to remember that each of us has great areas of success but we all have our independent struggles, faults and shortcomings.

As Stuart Smalley says, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!!!" I am what I am!!!

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For me, blogging is one of the few things I do for myself. I discovered fairly recently that I love writing . I won't be writing any books, but it's kinda become a hobby I share with my DH. He takes wonderful pictures and I like to blog about them. My kids do most of the cleaning. The chores they have assigned to them keep the house pretty tidy. They also love to cook, so I plan meals easy enough for them to pull together if they feel like it. To be honest though, I don't worry too much about the house. There are 7 of us that live here all day every day and our house gets a little more wear and tear than most houses just due to the crowd. I'll have the showplace when they're gone and we move into a condo. love025.gif

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boasting, bragging and only sharing the best face of certain things. You know? I'm not saying that it's a continual bragfest, but homeschoolers are one of the guiltiest groups of sharing their successes. Over and over. And in response to questions that didn't ask for a list of accomplishments. LOL

 

We all want to feel that we're doing our best and "keeping up" (with what or who I will probably never find out!), and it's just not reality that we're seeing represented here. Some of it is, much of it is very one-sided.

 

And that's OK as long as you understand what you're getting. :tongue_smilie:

 

This post is partly in response to a recent experience. I met some friends of my dh and found out that they homeschool their 3 children, all of them are around high school age. When I asked the questions, "How do you like homeschooling in high school? How is it different?" (From the earlier grades...This is EXACTLY what I asked) I was told how they graduated the oldest, she was a National Merit Scholar, got a scholarship to her college, and her SAT scores *broken down by section*; and they also mentioned how well 2nd dd is doing. Poor ds at the end obviously wasn't worth mentioning... LOL!!

 

I felt like saying, "That's a great list! But how was the PROCESS? Did any of you enjoy GETTING THERE???!!!! ANY pitfalls or advice you can give me here?"

 

Anyhow, all this to say that you need to spend time with people who will build you up and rejoice over YOUR unique children and their accomplishments, no matter how small. People who will enjoy the process with you! Maybe you can find that here, maybe real life offers a little more? It can be hard to find! It's a lot like losing weight. If you aren't doing it for yourself and can't find pride and motivation on your own, it's going to be a tough road. LOL Ask me how I know. ;)

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well, let's see....

 

I am overweight

 

My house is a mess most days

 

I am chronically disorganized and so are my dc (so is dh)

 

My dc aren't "accerlerated" in anything and my PS child doesn't make honor roll

 

My dh is sick of all of it and wants to put the dc in school, thinking that will solve all our problems.

 

Nope...you aren't the worst!

 

:crying:

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I know what you are saying. But what you are seeing of someone else's life is only a snapshot. You aren't seeing their messy closet or the things they are not good at. Believe me, I get what you are saying. My house is not the neatest or cleanest. I am not great with organization. I am not a good planner. But surely I have my own things I am good at, don't I? It gets tricky when we get into the compare game. :grouphug:

 

I agree... and really, nobody, even those of us who try to "keep it real" are going to be able to express just how very real it is around our homes all the time! LOL We could but the perpetual noise coming from our blogs might hurt your ears and the pictures of sinks full of dishes or unmade beds or crowded bathroom counters might hurt your eyes (or your souls)! In other words, even though we are trying to keep it real (many of us anyways) we are still going to try to some extent to present ourselves in a way that doesn't make us look too frizzy headed and out of control! Kwim? :grouphug:

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You are definitely not alone. I can't do it. I can barely keep up. But you know, I think the ages of your children may make it slightly more difficult. At least this is what I tell myself. But I don't think I'll be able to use this excuse for much longer.

 

Kimberly

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