ravinlunachick Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 DH and I got into a big disagreement about this when my oldest was about 3. He was no longer comfortable taking her into the men's restroom, which meant that *I* had to always do potty duty, and that he could never go anywhere alone with her for more than an hour or so, because she'd inevitably have to go potty. He took her to a special baseball game when she was newly 5, just a father/daughter thing, and was scared to death to let her go in the women's restroom alone. He's very protective, LOL. As it turned out, she poked around and took forever, and he panicked and asked a woman coming out if she'd go in and look for dd. She was just playing at the sink and ignoring dh, btw. :D In the other thread, many people were comfortable taking 8-9+ yr old boys into a woman's restroom. Do you all feel similarly about a dad taking a dd into a men's restroom? Or do girls get to use public facilities alone sooner because they are safer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 That's a hard one. I don't think that women's rooms are automatically safer than men's rooms but in a women's bathroom there are doors on all the stalls. Men's rooms usually have urinals out in the open. For that reason, I'm a little more leery of bringing a little girl into the mens room past a fairly young age. Unless it's somewhere that there's unlikely to be any other people in there. Our local malls all have family restrooms now. In the absence of those.... I'm not sure. DD is 4. I'm not sure what I'd have dh do. I don't think she's old enough to go in by herself yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 Statistically, women's restrooms *are* safer, as women are far less likely to be pedophiles (particularly on the same sex) than men. Women are also more inclined to help small children than men, IME. OT: I get very angry when I see a single adult coming out of the family restroom. My ds has wet his pants more than once while we waited for some inconsiderate b@@b who was too lazy to use the appropriate restroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Dh would take dds in with him when he couldn't find a family bathroom. I think he let them go on their own at 5/6 years old. If it was empty he would send them in and block the door. No one ever seemed to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 If my dh takes one of the girls somewhere he usually brings another. We tend to travel in small packs. Rarely does one use a public bathroom without another of the same gender with them. They really hate using public bathrooms, also, so they only go if it is an emergency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 That's a hard one. I don't think that women's rooms are automatically safer than men's rooms but in a women's bathroom there are doors on all the stalls. Men's rooms usually have urinals out in the open. For that reason, I'm a little more leery of bringing a little girl into the mens room past a fairly young age. Unless it's somewhere that there's unlikely to be any other people in there. Our local malls all have family restrooms now. In the absence of those.... I'm not sure. DD is 4. I'm not sure what I'd have dh do. I don't think she's old enough to go in by herself yet. :iagree: Dh struggled with this with his daughter before we got together. He was a single dad, and she was just 6 when we got engaged. When he was single and took his son and daughter out by himself, it was a constant worry for him. Back then (10 years ago) family restrooms were less popular. There was no way he wanted to take dd into the men's room because, according to him, they're usually disgustingly dirty, not to mention he didn't want dd to see other men's 'parts' at the urinal. It really impacted what he was able to do out and about with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 The problem with ladies' rooms isn't the ladies; it's the potential that a man is in there with bad intentions toward the next woman to come in. We were at a state park, and a man came into the ladies room. Luckily, there were three adults and all of our girls (and my young ds,) and we yelled at him to get out and called the police. I'm glad my dd wasn't in there alone. All three of us got the bad gut feeling about him. I even keep my cell phone out and ready when *I* have to go into a deserted restroom somewhere, and I'm pretty tough. ;) I have two dds, so my dh was able to start sending them in a bit younger than he might have otherwise. It's rare that he has them without me, and it's even rarer that we aren't someplace where we can find a family restroom or single restroom, and none of my dc has to use the bathroom constantly, so it hasn't really been an issue. AFAIK, they have never been into a men's room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 Yeah, but it's not like the child would be alone in the men's room. What pedophile is going to be so insane as to trouble a 3 year old while her father is standing right there? No I meant that father's felt it was safer for girls to be alone in the women's restroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I let my 5 year old go alone, and I let my 3 year old go with my 5 year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Dh never took dd's into the men's room. Until they were 5, he was teaching all day, and coaching nights and weekends, so it wasn't an issue. And I don't think he started going alone w/ them anywhere til they were at least 7. As others have said, women's restrooms are generally safer, especially in busy stores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeBeaks Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 DH still takes our 4yo DD with him. Men are not terribly "flashy" at urinals for the most part, per him. If a stall exists, he takes her in and uses that with her. If a family bathroom is there, obviously he uses that. She is newly 4 and totally unreliable in the women's room alone. She would be in there playing and gazing at herself in the mirror for hours likely without someone with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorrainejmc Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Three year olds know how to pull their pants up and down and are able to get onto public toilets unassisted? I'm amazed. I guess my boys were late bloomers (or very short). :D :lol: I have an 8yr old who needs reminded to actually pull everything back up before wandering out.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 My hubby and I have 7 dds between us and they didn't really have family restrooms yet when our girls were small. My hubby was the stay at home parent so he pretty much had to deal with this situation. He took the girls into the men's rooms until the could go in at least groups of two with the youngest being no younger than about five. He would open the door and announce girls coming in and men were very discreet. He never had any incidences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorrainejmc Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 My 6 year old still needs help buttoning his pants sometimes. And this reminds me of something about my first son. I think he was 4 and we were at the library. At home he got into the habit (for some reason) of pulling his pants down before going into the bathroom. Well, he did that at the library one day (when there was an event with a lot of people). LOL Oops! :lol: Mine done that too, at an outdoor harvest food festival. He was more than 4.:blink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Three year olds know how to pull their pants up and down and are able to get onto public toilets unassisted? I'm amazed. I guess my boys were late bloomers (or very short). :D My 3 year old has no trouble with it. She does often have trouble reaching the sink though. So my 5 year old helps her up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Only recently has my DH started not taking the girls into the men's bathroom. He cited the urinal as an issue, mostly but also the fact that the girls love to sit there and chat for a long time about exactly what they are doing at the moment. Generally leads to alot of laughing in the women's bathroom and comments to me like "oh, I remember when my little girls were like that," but seems to be less appreciated in the men's room. On a side note, DH does lament the lack of family bathrooms because he was caught out with babies who needed to be changed and no diaper station in the men's room when each of our kids were little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I think DH started sending the girls (together) alone when they were 6 and 4. I still don't let Sylvia go completely alone, but Becca can and she can take Sylvia. DH stopped taking them into the men's room because they were sometimes a bit too curious and also there was often un-kid-friendly graffiti on the walls. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravinlunachick Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 This really belongs in the other thread, but since we're trading bathroom funnies....Before we ever had kids, DH went into the restroom once at a local fish camp. There were only two stalls, and he didn't see any feet in one, but the door was latched, so he went into the other one. Shortly, he heard a little boy's voice singing, "Here we go, Daniel, here we go..[clap, clap] Here we go......[sounds of straining].....WAY TO GO, DANIEL, WAY TO GO! [clap, clap]" He said it was all he could do not to burst out laughing. He came back to the table, face beet red, and told us what had happened. About that time, Daniel came out of the restroom and ran over to his table, yelling at the top of his lungs, "I DID IT! I POOPED!! And it was BIIIIIIIIIGGGGG!" :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 We had to stop dd's going into the Men's room when Boo-Boo was 4 or 5 and she asked why men peed out of their hands. :lol: The girls would go in together though and dh would stand right outside. We still send our 10 year old with the 8 year old though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I'm a lot more free range than some other folks on this issue and even I have to say that 3 is too young to go in the bathroom alone for most kids. The stall, sure. But not the bathroom. To me, gender has very little to do with it. I sent my kids in the bathroom alone around age 4 in places that were safe, clean and they knew well. Age 5 most of the time. And by age 6, it was the rule unless you were sick or something. Now, conversely, I plead with you all to stop taking your 9 yo sons in the women's room. But that's another story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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