alpidarkomama Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My mother-in-law has always been someone who couldn't tell a lie to save her life. Recently, she has expressed very hurt feelings over things that really just shouldn't be a cause for hurt (i.e., us asking another friend to babysit when we knew she had another important appt and wouldn't be available; DH arranging to meet her at a certain time and her not being there and DH not being available later that day, etc.) Then after the episode, and after she expresses how hurt she is, she completely changes the facts of what happened (I started calling it "reshuffling"). She just lies! And it's so out of character that we are becoming a bit concerned now that it's happened several times. Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with this??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My mother had vascular dementia, and she would make up things if she couldn't remember. It was indeed very confusing for those around her. Keep in mind though that there are many causes for dementia, and some are reversible. She needs a check-up and review of her medication. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Keep in mind though that there are many causes for dementia, and some are reversible. She needs a check-up and review of her medication. :iagree: something as simple as a bladder infection can give many of the symptoms of dementia, or a change of medication all sorts of things. Plus some older people can have all sorts of memory problems etc without having Alzheimer's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3littlekeets Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Depression can also cause those symptoms. Has she had any significant life changes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted January 2, 2012 Author Share Posted January 2, 2012 She definitely suffers from a life-long depression. Several significant life changes. Husband #3 died a couple of years ago. She moved cross country to be by us about 6 months ago. We had to tell her she couldn't drive our children anywhere. (She does NOT make safe judgments when it comes to children. :() It's been pretty difficult, but we're glad she's here rather than on her own 3,000 miles away. It is so very hard taking care of aging parents, especially with our own young children underfoot! Being older parents has us really sandwiched between the needs of our children (which of course are our priority) and the needs of my mother-in-law. Oy. Very tricky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My mother had vascular dementia, and she would make up things if she couldn't remember. It was indeed very confusing for those around her. Keep in mind though that there are many causes for dementia, and some are reversible. She needs a check-up and review of her medication. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Ask around to friends to find a good neurologist, vs not a good one. My MIL went to one who told her she had parkinson's. She didn't like the diagnosis and so sought a second opinion. The second dr ran tests and determined it was early onset Alzheimers medicine induced. She is on a patch and it helps. She still has off days. And she still doesn't want to admit she has it really. I was programming her new cell phone and I was putting in her medical info for in case of emergency I asked about puttting it in or even some dementia just in case and was told no I am not in a home yet. :001_huh: Good luck. Document what is going on and ask to go with her to her first couple of appointments so you can share your side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 She definitely suffers from a life-long depression. Several significant life changes. Husband #3 died a couple of years ago. She moved cross country to be by us about 6 months ago. We had to tell her she couldn't drive our children anywhere. (She does NOT make safe judgments when it comes to children. :() It's been pretty difficult, but we're glad she's here rather than on her own 3,000 miles away. It is so very hard taking care of aging parents, especially with our own young children underfoot! Being older parents has us really sandwiched between the needs of our children (which of course are our priority) and the needs of my mother-in-law. Oy. Very tricky. We had quite a time with my mother, frankly it was the hardest five years of my life. When she died in 2011, sad to say, there was more relief than grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My mil has some issues too... Not lying, but accusing her children or grandchildren of stealing things from her, for example. Her family is one of the closest, kindest, most selfless people I know -- so they would never take advantage of her or steal from her. She has accused our children of stealing her records, and says she has even heard them playing them! Ha -- of course, my children don't even have a record player, they would not be interested in her music, and would never, ever do that. Anyway, she has not been diagnosed with anything yet, but we've been told it is likely the early stages of dimentia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Does anyone have any thoughts or experience with this??? What is the lady's age? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarymelon Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My Dad has Parkinsons with Dementia; we first noticed it because he was just a "little off". A mini mental status exam was a big eye opener and can help determine if dementia is a problem, although I would agree that a general check up would also be a good idea to make sure nothing else is wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Get her a thorough medical work-up. Talk to her doctor privately ahead of time and both tell him/her your concerns and make it CLEAR that you are speaking privately (not to be shared with mil). In situations like this, it's all too common for the family and loved ones to spend a lot of time--years--trying to investigate and finesse this along amongst themselves. Trying to do so without good medical information is not a good idea though. If you suspect the beginnings of dementia, then NOW, while it's "not that bad" is the time to start testing and documenting. The medical exam may show something correctable. OR, if things get worse, the medical exam(s) set a baseline of information that can be compared to new information as new exams happen over time. So yes, it can be the beginnings of dementia. Or maybe not. There may be a way to address your concerns medically. Or maybe not--in which case you'll lay low and retest periodically. The age of your mil and the behavior you describe do indicate, though, that a little investigation couldn't hurt and will almost certainly help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 She definitely suffers from a life-long depression. Several significant life changes. Husband #3 died a couple of years ago. She moved cross country to be by us about 6 months ago. We had to tell her she couldn't drive our children anywhere. (She does NOT make safe judgments when it comes to children. :() It's been pretty difficult, but we're glad she's here rather than on her own 3,000 miles away. It is so very hard taking care of aging parents, especially with our own young children underfoot! Being older parents has us really sandwiched between the needs of our children (which of course are our priority) and the needs of my mother-in-law. Oy. Very tricky. :grouphug: We're older parents, too. Makes the sandwich tougher. Agreeing with those who recommend a GREAT neurologist. My beloved dad was too quickly and conveniently classified as Alzheimer's. He actually had a brain fluid issue which could have been remedied with surgery. By the time it was properly diagnosed, he was greatly physically debilitated and far into the health care system (long painful story there). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 :iagree: something as simple as a bladder infection can give many of the symptoms of dementia, or a change of medication all sorts of things. Plus some older people can have all sorts of memory problems etc without having Alzheimer's Right! I found this out first hand, with my Mom. Infections don't present in older people the same way they do in younger people; she may have no symptoms at all like burning or pain but still have a UTI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 AuntieM;:grouphug: We're older parents, too. Makes the sandwich tougher. Older parents here too! Agreeing with those who recommend a GREAT neurologist. My beloved dad was too quickly and conveniently classified as Alzheimer's. He actually had a brain fluid issue which could have been remedied with surgery. By the time it was properly diagnosed, he was greatly physically debilitated and far into the health care system (long painful story there) I'm so sorry this happened to your Dad. Yes, the medical merry-go-round can really mess someone up. My Mom's best friend was told she had Alzheimer's so she sold her home and moved to a nursing home. Whoops! A few years pass and NO Alzheimer's. She moved back out and into her own condo and lived there the rest of her life, dying of heart failure. What a lot of trouble for nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 So yes, it can be the beginnings of dementia. Or maybe not. There may be a way to address your concerns medically. Or maybe not--in which case you'll lay low and retest periodically. The age of your mil and the behavior you describe do indicate, though, that a little investigation couldn't hurt and will almost certainly help. It could be unadmitted pain. It could be a UTI. It could be B12 deficiency. It could be depression or even apathetic hyperthyroidism. I agree with the heads up to the doctor. If she is willing. Some people are durned stubborn about going to the doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 My mil has some issues too... Not lying, but accusing her children or grandchildren of stealing things from her, for example. :grouphug: Paranoia is a very unpleasant sensation for both the sufferer and the bystanders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farouk Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Yes it's sad; a family member has experienced similar symptoms, too. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between Alzheimer's and dementia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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