How picky are you about handwriting with new learners?

[pitterpatter]

Back in September, when DD4.5 and I first started our home-school journey together, I had no real expectations. I really didn't know how it would go. Since DD was still somewhat young (but, totally ready, I thought), we were just giving it all a try. So, when she wrote her very first honest-to-goodness letters with HWOT (Kindergarten level), I was over the moon happy. As we continued along, I was totally awed by everything she was learning and doing. Was simply amazed.

 

Roll forward a couple of months to now. Overall, DD is doing wonderfully. She really is, she's doing great. I'm so proud of her. My problem is that my expectations have gone from zilch to through the roof, I think.

 

I don't know how picky I'm supposed to be with her handwriting. She's capable of making straight vertical lines and straight diagonals. She knows she's supposed to bump the lines. She knows her magic c letters are supposed to be be round and plump. She knows straight letters are supposed to be straight, no curves. And, curvy letters are supposed to be curvy, no points. I remind her constantly. I'll even say, "Ok, we're making a lowercase l or t (or, whatever), remember to make it nice and straight."

 

So, when I just remind her to do something and then she totally does it opposite...a slanted t instead of a straight one, or she totally doesn't get close to bumping the lines, or she makes a letter super skinny when I just told her to make it fat, I get irritated. (She's not making mistakes intentionally, but she's just not listening well enough or paying close enough attention to what she's doing.) When we erase one of her mistakes, she has a real problem of tracing the indentation (and, of course you can still see it a bit) in the paper and doing it wrong again...and again...and again. Irritates me to no end. Thus, some of my irritation has been showing through lately.

 

Anyway, I need to stop getting irritated. It only happens with handwriting. I feel as though if I settle for imperfection (I use this word loosely, because heck, I can't even write perfectly on the lines/in the boxes every time), she'll develop bad/sloppy habits.

 

My question is, how picky should I be? When should we erase and try it again?

[hsmom2011]

My main concern is that they are learning to form the letters. I just expect them to do their best, and do not look for perfection. My dd (6) writes nicely for her age. She doesn't form the letters exactly like the examples in the workbook, and I don't worry about it. For example, she has a certain way she likes to curve her lower case e, and likes to add a curve to the tail on he lowercase a. I let her do things her own way, as long as she knows how to write the letters. I do give her a little constructive criticism from time to time, but try not to overdo it. :)

[beaners]

If we have an error and it happens more than once, I would gently guide my daughter's hand through the motions once or twice. Sometimes it's hard for them to make their hands move the way they are supposed to go once they done it wrong a couple times. When we were doing rows of letters, I would also make sure the last letter was traced from a model.

 

I think it gets better once they are writing more. I can even remember trying to make my letters look "better" when I was in 4th grade, so I think it really is a long road between knowing formation and proper formation becoming automatic.

[RootAnn]

My main concern is that they are learning to form the letters. I just expect them to do their best, and do not look for perfection. .... I do give her a little constructive criticism from time to time, but try not to overdo it. :)

 

:iagree: Ok, I'm on my third kid with this & each one has been different. But, in general, you try to get them to do their best -with-each-letter-each-time.

 

* Don't have her erase. *

 

You can have them stop & restart (after a space) if it happens during handwriting practice. (I do, if we are just learning a letter.) BUT, if it is during writing for anything else, pointing out the good & not-so-good (one of each, no more than one bad one - so pick the one that bugs you the most) formations is the most you should do.

 

You can choose to work on the ones they've been having trouble with during handwriting time, but don't make them redo if it is for ... say, a workbook answer, copywork, or a cute note she writes to you.

 

You can try to have HER pick out which letter is the "best" and which one "needs improvement." My kids always knew, so we just talked about how to make them more like the good one & how to fix the ones that weren't great. It is about practice, not discouragement.

 

:grouphug: And :chillpill:

[8filltheheart]

The only thing I am picky about is that they are stroking in the correct direction. For example, I don't want them making a lower case b by starting the the upper curve and going around and up. I insist that they start at the top and go down, back up, and then around. How they actually look.....bleh, I really don't care. I don't care if they float, if they are large, small, etc.

[Sevilla]

Back in September, when DD4.5 and I first started our home-school journey together, I had no real expectations. I really didn't know how it would go. Since DD was still somewhat young (but, totally ready, I thought), we were just giving it all a try. So, when she wrote her very first honest-to-goodness letters with HWOT (Kindergarten level), I was over the moon happy. As we continued along, I was totally awed by everything she was learning and doing. Was simply amazed.

 

Roll forward a couple of months to now. Overall, DD is doing wonderfully. She really is, she's doing great. I'm so proud of her. My problem is that my expectations have gone from zilch to through the roof, I think.

 

I don't know how picky I'm supposed to be with her handwriting. She's capable of making straight vertical lines and straight diagonals. She knows she's supposed to bump the lines. She knows her magic c letters are supposed to be be round and plump. She knows straight letters are supposed to be straight, no curves. And, curvy letters are supposed to be curvy, no points. I remind her constantly. I'll even say, "Ok, we're making a lowercase l or t (or, whatever), remember to make it nice and straight."

 

So, when I just remind her to do something and then she totally does it opposite...a slanted t instead of a straight one, or she totally doesn't get close to bumping the lines, or she makes a letter super skinny when I just told her to make it fat, I get irritated. (She's not making mistakes intentionally, but she's just not listening well enough or paying close enough attention to what she's doing.) When we erase one of her mistakes, she has a real problem of tracing the indentation (and, of course you can still see it a bit) in the paper and doing it wrong again...and again...and again. Irritates me to no end. Thus, some of my irritation has been showing through lately.

 

Anyway, I need to stop getting irritated. It only happens with handwriting. I feel as though if I settle for imperfection (I use this word loosely, because heck, I can't even write perfectly on the lines/in the boxes every time), she'll develop bad/sloppy habits.

 

My question is, how picky should I be? When should we erase and try it again?

Are you using the whole HWOT program (the slate for 'wet dry try', the wooden letter pieces, the songs, the stamp-n-see screen, the dough letters, etc...)?

 

What you are describing is completely typical of a child just learning handwriting, but is also IMO indicative that a different method of practice needs to be undertaken for true improvement and good habits to form.

 

I found with my own DS (who started HWOT-K when he was newly 5) was that if I jumped right to the workbook he wrote more poorly than if I took the time to have him practice the letter components and formation in the kinesthetic materials FIRST. He would have to make 3 great letters in one of those mediums before moving to the workbook. When I would get lazy and just do the workbook, or think 'he doesn't need the manipulatives - he can write just fine' then his skills would degenerate and I'd have to go back to what worked - first manipulatives, then paper writing.

 

Another thing we did (and still do) is have him circle his best letter and cross out (and redo) his worst letter. This teaches self-evaluation (he had to choose both of those, it wasn't me doing it).

 

I also had to sit right with him for handwriting - he would get sloppy if left to do it alone.

[Cassy]

I'm not picky at all with DS4.5 or DS7, unless they start messing around and deliberately make their handwriting big and scrawly because they're in a wicked mood; even then I just gently scold them in a good-natured way, I really don't want to make school into a chore or a battle.

 

Now, DS10 is a different matter. He is capable of making an effort, and writing neatly and well, but often times can't be bothered. We have battles :glare:.

 

DS12 has never been homeschooled and his writing was truly, truly awful until six months ago, when pressure from his teachers persuaded him to do something about it; these days it's a work of art :D.

 

So even if their handwriting does leave a little, or a lot, to be desired, it's not irredeemable. The most important thing for me is that school is relatively pleasant and that learning is enjoyable.

 

Best of luck

 

Cassy

[sewingmama]

but she's just not listening well enough or paying close enough attention to what she's doing.)

 

It's more likely she doesn't have the hand control yet -just because she knows what to do doesn't mean she can make her hand do it.

 

FWIW - My 4 yo can't form letters at all and my 5yo forms her letters at about the same level your DD does -so your DD sounds normal to me.

 

With my DD who is 5.5 I just concentrate on the proper formation of the letters and starting in the correct position. Her letters wobble all over the place and she rarely makes straight lines or nice curves. She still forgets where things start and she has been doing this for over a year.

 

If the position and form is correct I wouldn't mention the wobbliness - that will come in time.

 

My DS4 goes to public kindy - most of the kids- even the ones close to five - can't write any letter besides their name (and the teachers don't teach them that till they go to K) so you have to remember that writing any letters at 4.5 is considered advanced. If your DD is doing it wobbly it's still a great effort for her age.

[Aspasia]

I'm not picky at all with DS4.5 or DS7, unless they start messing around and deliberately make their handwriting big and scrawly because they're in a wicked mood; even then I just gently scold them in a good-natured way, I really don't want to make school into a chore or a battle.

 

Now, DS10 is a different matter. He is capable of making an effort, and writing neatly and well, but often times can't be bothered. We have battles :glare:.

 

DS12 has never been homeschooled and his writing was truly, truly awful until six months ago, when pressure from his teachers persuaded him to do something about it; these days it's a work of art :D.

 

So even if their handwriting does leave a little, or a lot, to be desired, it's not irredeemable. The most important thing for me is that school is relatively pleasant and that learning is enjoyable.

 

Best of luck

 

Cassy

 

This is great advice. My dd is 4.5 and has been writing letters for quite awhile (just because fine motor skills have always been her "thing" and she's really interested in writing). All I care about is that the strokes are in the right direction and that she gets them on the correct part of the line. DH and I both have terrible handwriting, so really our kids have very little hope of ever having truly beautiful handwriting. As long as it's legible, I'll be happy. For now, as long as she's following the "rules", I don't get too hung up on neatness. (Though I can tell when she's being silly and sloppy and I just ask her to slow down. No biggie.)

[5LittleMonkeys]

Handwriting is not a hill I die on...ever. In my experience, handwriting is always evolving and changing over the course of a dc's childhood. Dd14's writing looks nothing like it did when she was in 1st or even 5th. There is not going to be this magic day when *poof* all of a sudden your child is forming all the letters exactly the way they are in the workbook. My dc have always come up with their own styles once they know how to form the letters (like what 8FilltheHeart was talking about). Once they know how to read cursive I'm not even picky about them writing in cursive or print...it's whichever they feel more comfortable doing.

 

I agree with the others that suggested letting your dc pick out which letter in her row of practice she thinks looks the best. That way you can be sure that she knows what it should look like and as her hand strength and coordination improves she will start to make all of her letters more uniform. She may decide she likes them all skinny or all fat or she may decided she likes more of an italic style.

 

I've given my dc several different fonts to look at and practice once they have the basic formation down and they have all created their own style over time.

[ErinE]

The only thing I am picky about is that they are stroking in the correct direction. For example, I don't want them making a lower case b by starting the the upper curve and going around and up. I insist that they start at the top and go down, back up, and then around. How they actually look.....bleh, I really don't care. I don't care if they float, if they are large, small, etc.

 

What she said! Ds used to have the most beautiful print writing. I look back at his samples from a year ago and wonder what happened. But then I look at my own handwriting and I don't worry about it. So long as it's neat and readable, it passes muster.

 

I do sit with dd and require she forms her letters correctly. She's left handed so it's a bit harder for her, but the correct order of formation will help her write faster later on.

 

Also, I only require her copywork be formed correctly. If she's writing on her own or for another subject, I don't correct her.

[HappyGrace]

The only thing I am picky about is that they are stroking in the correct direction.

 

:iagree: And I sit with them every. single. time. for every letter to make sure, until it becomes second nature. If you do this, I think you'll find in time that the letters just naturally start looking better.

[pitterpatter]

Yes, we do Wet, Dry, Try and also the songs. We do Wet, Dry, Try to learn each letter and we do it until she makes a couple-to-three pretty darn good ones. That usually amounts to filling up the front and back of the lined board. Sometimes, we'll need to clean and then use one more side.

 

I know she is just learning and that is takes a while to develop coordination. Part of HWOT is checking your work, so that's where I get stuck on corrections.

 

I do have DD choose her best and worst letters. She explains why the best is the best and the worst is the worst. Then, we erase the not-so-great one and she makes it better. (Well, that's the goal anyway. ;)) Unfortunately, sometimes, there's another one that really bugs me and I have her correct that one too. Then, sometimes, the correction isn't any better, so...

 

I think I just get frustrated because she'll be writing along...she'll be doing great, then bam...it's like an alien abducted her or something. She'll do something totally off the wall. I'll calmly mention that she needs to do this or that on the next one. Or, I'll say that one's pretty good, but let's make the next one even better. At times, they'll just get progressively worse. That's when I get irritated. Maybe her hand is just getting tired or something.

 

Thanks for the input, everyone. I'm going to try to chill a bit and see how it goes...try not to get so wrapped up with the letters looking exactly like they do in the HWOT book. I think that's part of it. I personally could care less if her lowercase e has a point on the corner (DD makes hers curve all of the way around), but I feel as though I'm supposed to be true to the curriculum. (A bit of an internal battle there, I guess.) Like I'm not teaching her adequately, if they aren't as close to their letters as possible. :rolleyes:

 

 

Are you using the whole HWOT program (the slate for 'wet dry try', the wooden letter pieces, the songs, the stamp-n-see screen, the dough letters, etc...)?

 

What you are describing is completely typical of a child just learning handwriting, but is also IMO indicative that a different method of practice needs to be undertaken for true improvement and good habits to form.

 

I found with my own DS (who started HWOT-K when he was newly 5) was that if I jumped right to the workbook he wrote more poorly than if I took the time to have him practice the letter components and formation in the kinesthetic materials FIRST. He would have to make 3 great letters in one of those mediums before moving to the workbook. When I would get lazy and just do the workbook, or think 'he doesn't need the manipulatives - he can write just fine' then his skills would degenerate and I'd have to go back to what worked - first manipulatives, then paper writing.

 

Another thing we did (and still do) is have him circle his best letter and cross out (and redo) his worst letter. This teaches self-evaluation (he had to choose both of those, it wasn't me doing it).

 

I also had to sit right with him for handwriting - he would get sloppy if left to do it alone.

[chicagoshannon]

I just make sure Madeline is holding her pencil correctly and that she forms the letters in the correct direction. I feel at this stage that's the most important thing. Once she is consistently going in the correct direction to form the letters I'll worry about neatness.

 

I also have her pick out the best ones and really give her a lot of praise for them.

[pitterpatter]

Oh, absolutely! DD's 4.5 years old...I don't leave her to do any work on her own. Having said that, if I have to get up to grab a tissue or something, she likes to surprise me by doing whatever while I'm gone. Oddly enough, it's usually some of her best work. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

:iagree: And I sit with them every. single. time. for every letter to make sure, until it becomes second nature. If you do this, I think you'll find in time that the letters just naturally start looking better.

[spaceman]

I'm new, so this isn't advice; I'm just answering your question as to how picky I am.

 

I'm pretty picky. But I don't tend to frustrate easily, and never with handwriting. My son makes similar mistakes as you've described and I've assumed it to be a learning process, not that he simply doesn't want to do it. If he's having trouble, I do have him erase and we do bring out the other materials again sometimes. I want his letters--during handwriting time only, I don't correct at other times currently--to follow the general rules of writing that letter. Specifically, for me that means:

 

The marks stay inside the box

Strokes are made in the correct order.

The letter strokes start, stop, and bump where they are supposed to.

Straight lines are relatively straight.

Curved lines bump where they are supposed to and generally appear correct.

 

I'm also pickiest about the last letter. We don't check the box until that one is near perfect.

 

 

However, even though I am picky...this works for both my child's personality (who sincerely wants to do it correctly) and mine (because I don't get irrated with him). Another family could do these exact same things and have it turn out horribly.

Edited December 30, 2011 by spaceman

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

I think I just get frustrated because she'll be writing along...she'll be doing great, then bam...it's like an alien abducted her or something. She'll do something totally off the wall.

 

 

 

Maybe she's just making sure you're paying attention.:tongue_smilie:

[FO4UR]

I'm picky. I also keep reminding myself to keep reasonable expectations.

 

I want perfect letters, but I'll settle for only 3 copies. Add more practice little by little.

[MistyMountain]

I'm very new to this but if dd forms the letter correctly and does the right move I don't worry if it looks perfect. I have her do it over again until she does it correctly. We are just starting and she was having a really hard time with diagonols and we kept at it for 2 days until she got it and then she struggled with them going in another direction. Some letters she is struggling with and others she does with no problems. If she is forming it the wrong way I correct her and she actually is starting to catch it herself before I say anything. I also try to have her use the lines to make them the right size but I am not as picky about that. It is very hard but I think it will pay off. One thing I don't like about HWOT is it starts with capitols. Dd actually does lower case just as easily as upper case and you use more lower case.

[Kuovonne]

When we erase one of her mistakes, she has a real problem of tracing the indentation (and, of course you can still see it a bit) in the paper and doing it wrong again...and again...and again.

 

I prefer using a magna-doodle or dry-erase board for teaching handwriting until the child knows how to form all the letters without coaching. These methods are faster to erase, there's no indentation, and no papers to store or throw away afterward.