Update

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I'm not exactly sure what I am allowed to say, and what I am not, but I know many are curious, so I thought I'd post a quick (and hopefully vague enough) update.

 

First though, I want to again reiterate (especially for those that did not see my post of thanks before the other thread got deleted) my thanks to ALL who provided their advice and thoughts on the matter at hand. It was only through all of the discussion here that I was able to see my own thoughts and feelings more clearly as well as determine WHY I felt and thought the things I did. So THANK YOU to all (even those I disagreed with).

 

I also want to send a thank you to all who PM'd me. I did read them, and do intend to respond. I've been down with a massive headache for over a week now and just haven't been able to even think straight enough to respond.

 

That said, DH and I did talk, and we did make a decision. We have contacted the school who gave us a generic, thanks, we hope to get to the bottom of it response. I'm okay with that for now. We also decided to contact the police, because they are known in our area for being wonderful at "rehabilitating" or teaching problem kids vs treating them as criminals (a family member has direct experience with this).

 

I called an old acquaintance who also happens to work in the youth services dept of the PD. He transferred me to another officer who was handling a nearly identical situation at another local middle school. I left her a message and haven't heard back from her as of yet.

 

DD was able to successfully avoid the boy, though he did try to make contact once. We have talked about being advocate for girls in similar situation and that she has an opportunity help other girls know that they, too, do not have to just "take it" when things like this happen. While she didn't do everything correctly, I am very proud of how she has handled this.

 

Thanks again for everyone's support, advice, and insight on this matter.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad that you have good resources in your town for this sort of thing and that the police seem to know how to handle it.

[twoforjoy]

Nvm.

 

Let's just say I'm going to be keeping this boy and his family in my prayers.

Edited September 23, 2011 by twoforjoy

[Ria]

I think you made the right choices.

[TXBeth]

I think you made the right choices.

 

Me, too.

[FaithManor]

I think you did fine. The answer from the school was not an enthusiastic "We will give this our full attention and arrange to have a meeting with the boy's parents. We will keep you abreast of any developments." It was non-committal and since the boy attempted contact again with your dd (an indication that they did not approach the young man and say, STAY AWAY FROM HER), you have every right to feel that it may fall through the cracks.

 

So, the next step was appropriate.

 

Tough stuff, heavy decisions, ...I totally support what you did.

 

Faith

[*Lulu*]

I think you did fine. The answer from the school was not an enthusiastic "We will give this our full attention and arrange to have a meeting with the boy's parents. We will keep you abreast of any developments." It was non-committal and since the boy attempted contact again with your dd (an indication that they did not approach the young man and say, STAY AWAY FROM HER), you have every right to feel that it may fall through the cracks.

 

So, the next step was appropriate.

 

Tough stuff, heavy decisions, ...I totally support what you did.

 

Faith

 

:iagree:

[justamouse]

I think you did fine. The answer from the school was not an enthusiastic "We will give this our full attention and arrange to have a meeting with the boy's parents. We will keep you abreast of any developments." It was non-committal and since the boy attempted contact again with your dd (an indication that they did not approach the young man and say, STAY AWAY FROM HER), you have every right to feel that it may fall through the cracks.

 

So, the next step was appropriate.

 

Tough stuff, heavy decisions, ...I totally support what you did.

 

Faith

:iagree:

 

 

:grouphug:

[newlifemom]

Missed the other thread, but :grouphug:

[joannqn]

I'm in support of your decision.

 

I was sexually harassed in school because I was a curvy, large-busted girl. One boy grabbed my rear regularly and repeated. I shared an art class with him in which we were allowed to sit wherever we wanted; he perched himself in the closest seat to the sink every single class, making avoiding him in class impossible. I didn't really know what to do and kind of just accepted the situation.

 

My mom got wind of it (I don't remember how), and she went to the school principal and told him that it was not to continue. If it did, I had her permission to do whatever it takes. Well, the school didn't do anything about it so I was still in the same position as always, except that I had my mom backing me up.

 

One of those times, I was at my locker and happen to see him coming. Usually, he grabbed and ran. This time, though, I was waiting for him and landed a well-placed kick right between the legs. My mom standing up for me, letting me know that I would not be in trouble at home if I had to take matters into my own hands, gave me the power to do just that. The boy never touched me again, wouldn't even look at me in our shared class, and took off in the opposite direction when he saw me coming in the hall.

 

While she didn't go to the police, she did give the school a chance to fix it, and she empowered me to stand up for myself.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm in support of your decision.

 

I was sexually harassed in school because I was a curvy, large-busted girl. One boy grabbed my rear regularly and repeated. I shared an art class with him in which we were allowed to sit wherever we wanted; he perched himself in the closest seat to the sink every single class, making avoiding him in class impossible. I didn't really know what to do and kind of just accepted the situation.

 

My mom got wind of it (I don't remember how), and she went to the school principal and told him that it was not to continue. If it did, I had her permission to do whatever it takes. Well, the school didn't do anything about it so I was still in the same position as always, except that I had my mom backing me up.

 

One of those times, I was at my locker and happen to see him coming. Usually, he grabbed and ran. This time, though, I was waiting for him and landed a well-placed kick right between the legs. My mom standing up for me, letting me know that I would not be in trouble at home if I had to take matters into my own hands, gave me the power to do just that. The boy never touched me again, wouldn't even look at me in our shared class, and took off in the opposite direction when he saw me coming in the hall.

 

While she didn't go to the police, she did give the school a chance to fix it, and she empowered me to stand up for myself.

 

I applaud your mom. What she did was just right for the time period you grew up in. Unfortunately in our day and age now, the girl might be charged with assault for proactively standing up for herself. I think that Kristen did the right thing in our current society.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: I missed the thread, but wanted to send a bit of hope and support for your dd.

[Whereneverever]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[simka2]

You guys will continue to be in my thoughts. I would have done the same thing in your position.

[8circles]

You absolutely did the right thing. I hope that the boy gets the appropriate help/discipline so this doesn't happen again. But the potential negative consequences that he may face are not your concern - you did what you needed to do in order protect/support your DD. I'm proud of you. :grouphug:

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug: Thanks for the update.

[Slipper]

Thanks for updating. I wish the school had been more pro-active about the situation. My prayers are with everyone involved.