Internet..."visual usage" being a problem poll

[mommymilkies]

I was talking to a friend about this and was curious what the Hive thought. If this is inappropriate, please LMK and I will delete.

 

When does...using the internet for visual stimulation become a problem in YOUR opinion? I don't know how to word that to make it more appropriate. :lol:

[Sputterduck]

In my opinion, one ought to get those sparks of stimulation from their spouse.

 

You are ready for a debate, right? lol

[mommymilkies]

I hope this doesn't bring up hard feelings. I was just curious what most people think about the subject.

[Old Dominion Heather]

. nevermind

[mommymilkies]

. nevermind

 

I like your posts, though. :)

[danybug]

Looking at the results so far, my opinion might not be a common one. I think that viewing anything nude, etc online is a violation of our marriage vows before God. And this is an understanding dh and I have.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I like your posts, though. :)

 

Thanks. :)

 

I just decided that I wasn't really certain since the question is kind of ambivalent.

 

Married/committed relationship vs. unmarried

religious views vs none

teen vs adult

 

etc...

 

For me, viewing anything for stimulation would be a breach of trust with my dh. I think he would say the same.

[mommymilkies]

Doh! You're right. I guess I should have been more specific. I meant in a committed adult relationship for whatever religion the voter is. :)

[Parrothead]

Honestly if one partner needs 2-D visual stimulation I think maybe they are with the wrong person. Kind of like, 'Oh, yeah, baby, (s)he's hot. Come over here so I can close my eyes and pretend (s)he's you."

 

Blech.

[tntgoodwin]

Do you want answers from a male perspective, or is this one of those threads I should just pretend doesn't exist?

[Orthodox6]

I checked every box except for "other." There is no acceptable space in the life of my family for such stuff. Not for men. Not for women. Not for boys. Not for girls.

[Tangerine]

It is totally alright with me. We are open about it. If I felt it was encroaching on our love life, or his healthy daily life, I would feel free to say so to him.

[mytwomonkeys]

Looking at the results so far, my opinion might not be a common one. I think that viewing anything nude, etc online is a violation of our marriage vows before God. And this is an understanding dh and I have.

 

i agree with you. i can't imagine my husband doing it & i wouldn't be cool with it if he did (and vice versa). we don't have friends of the opposite sex either, and i know in past threads people thought that was ridiculous too.

[Ria]

It is totally alright with me. We are open about it. If I felt it was encroaching on our love life, or his healthy daily life, I would feel free to say so to him.

 

Same here. As he would feel free to say the same to me. We have no secrets from each other. :)

[Daisy]

The opinion of myself and my husband is that it becomes a problem the minute either one of us starts actively searching for pictures that contain scantily clad bodies or nudity.

 

Accidental pictures don't both either one of us. We realize sometimes you plunk in a search word and get a surprise. We do have filters and we are careful but we have higher modesty standards than most filters.

[Tangerine]

We have no secrets from each other. :)

 

Funny you say that. I just posted a spin-off thread you inspired on that very topic.

[kalanamak]

I said "other". I think it depends on the person. It reminds me of what was said about alcohol and drunks: one drop is too much, a thousand not enough.

 

Other people can take it or leave it.

[twoforjoy]

I said "other". I think it depends on the person. It reminds me of what was said about alcohol and drunks: one drop is too much, a thousand not enough.

 

Other people can take it or leave it.

 

:iagree: You said it just as I was about to type it.

 

In our marriage, it's a big, big no-no. But, I don't think it must or even should be that way for every person or every couple. It just really depends on individual personalities and past experiences and the beliefs of both people in the relationship.

[MamaSheep]

I think there's a difference between "nude" and "indecent", so I hesitated a little over that first option. However, I also see a difference between appreciating a nice "nude" from an artistic perspective and "using" any unclothed body as a source of "visual stimulation". So I'll just say that I think the only body a person should view as a source of "visual stimulation" should be one's own spouse's body, and then only with that person's full knowledge and consent. I think it's wrong to "use" any other person's body as a disposable commodity for one-sided gratification. I believe the human body to be sacred, and as something that should be shared only under certain circumstances.

[angela in ohio]

Looking at the results so far, my opinion might not be a common one. I think that viewing anything nude, etc online is a violation of our marriage vows before God. And this is an understanding dh and I have.

 

:iagree:

 

One of the reasons I married dh is that he feels very strongly about this issue. :001_wub:

[KidsHappen]

Do you want answers from a male perspective, or is this one of those threads I should just pretend doesn't exist?

 

I personally would be interested in hearing your POV.

[melissel]

For me, personally, visual stimulation beyond what you might find in, say, Maxim magazine, is unacceptable. It has nothing at all to do with marriage vows or God (I'm not religious at all) or anything like that. To me, it feels like almost cheating, and I react accordingly. I'm not sure why I feel that way, because I don't think there's anything wrong with the human body, I'm not concerned with modesty etc. But for my husband to find that kind of stimulation anywhere but with me is not acceptable to me.

 

FWIW!

 

ETA: As someone else pointed out, I do see a big difference between nudity in art and nudity strictly for visual stimulation. I don't consider nudity in art an issue at all.

Edited September 21, 2011 by melissel

[melissel]

I personally would be interested in hearing your POV.

 

So would I!

[Ria]

Do you want answers from a male perspective, or is this one of those threads I should just pretend doesn't exist?

 

I would love to hear your perspective.

[mommymilkies]

I would love to hear your opinion, tntgoodwin.

 

There is no "right" opinion I'm looking for. I just wanted to see how my view differed with other people's opinions.

[KidsHappen]

I have no problem with art, nudity or even erotica (IMO, Playboy and Penthouse fall under the erotica heading). I have a problem with p@rn and I do not allow it in my house. If you need more release than you are gettting, use you imagination.

[melissel]

I have no problem with art, nudity or even erotica (IMO, Playboy and Penthouse fall under the erotica heading). I have a problem with p@rn and I do not allow it in my house. If you need more release than you are gettting, use you imagination.

 

Purely out of curiosity, what do you see as the difference between erotica and porn? (I'm not asking to argue, I promise.)

[tntgoodwin]

To me, it is all about intent. Am I searching out things to be visually stimulated, or is it incidental? I think searching out things to be visually stimulated by is wrong, no matter the level of undress. It would be the same for anything, not just the Internet. If I am at a store, and see a scantily clad woman while I am picking up a gallon of milk, that is different than if I were to go to a strip club, or even a bar, to look at scantily clad women. It doesn't have anything to do with a certain number of times per year or anything like that.

[silliness7]

There is no acceptable space in the life of my family for such stuff. Not for men. Not for women. Not for boys. Not for girls.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[8circles]

I think it's about intention. If one is looking to be stimulated by such things I think it's a problem, no matter the frequency.

[KidsHappen]

Purely out of curiosity, what do you see as the difference between erotica and porn? (I'm not asking to argue, I promise.)

 

Generally speaking, if the woman is not moving, there is not any insertion or bodily fluids of any kind then I consider it art or erotica. If there is, then it is usually p@rn. I have seen some movies where there were scenes that were clearly erotic but not quite p@rnographic but those are far and few between. I have many problems with p@rn but nudity and female arousal are not ones. I mostly have problems with the use and exploitation of women, the fake women's bodies and prefromances and the dipictions of women loving certain things that I have never met or heard of any woman anywhere liking at all.

[melissel]

Generally speaking, if the woman is not moving, there is not any insertion or bodily fluids of any kind then I consider it art or erotica. If there is, then it is usually p@rn. I have seen some movies where there were scenes that were clearly erotic but not quite p@rnographic but those are far and few between. I have many problems with p@rn but nudity and female arousal are not ones. I mostly have problems with the use and exploitation of women, the fake women's bodies and prefromances and the dipictions of women loving certain things that I have never met or heard of any woman anywhere liking at all.

 

I understand. Thanks for explaining for me, your distinctions make sense to me.

[mommymilkies]

Generally speaking, if the woman is not moving, there is not any insertion or bodily fluids of any kind then I consider it art or erotica. If there is, then it is usually p@rn. I have seen some movies where there were scenes that were clearly erotic but not quite p@rnographic but those are far and few between. I have many problems with p@rn but nudity and female arousal are not ones. I mostly have problems with the use and exploitation of women, the fake women's bodies and prefromances and the dipictions of women loving certain things that I have never met or heard of any woman anywhere liking at all.

 

I agree with you here.

 

I also have no problem with nude art (to a degree-some "modern art" nudes I do have problems with). I have no problem having a replica of Venus in my home or a picture of Mary nursing Jesus, etc. But I would have a problem with women used in a more obvious erotica manner up on my walls, KWIM?

[foxbridgeacademy]

I picked "other" because you have a few I would have checked. Illegal, problems caused in marriage, more then 1 or 2X's a week, or if needed for things to work. Otherwise don't really care what he does in his alone time.:D.