fairfarmhand Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 my daughter has never been an easy child. ever. The last two days I find myself just not liking her very much. everything is about her. She can't stand any irritation at all. If someone is humming softly at the other end of the house they are "doing it on purpose just to be annoying to me." If that person does not immediately stop, then she ends up having a temper tantrum. Yesterday she ended up missing her horse club meeting because I refuse to do obnoxious people any favors. whine whine gripe gripe..that has been the sum total of her speech the last 2 days. Up till this week, the school year has been awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 :grouphug: Mine turned 13 on 8/24 and has been acting the same way. I offered to drop her at a bus station if she really thought it was so bad here. My dd has not begun her period but I bet it's coming the way she has been acting.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happygrrl Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Ah, yes. :grouphug: I keep telling myself the hormones will settle someday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 It gets better but the more you can resolve now the easier the next years will be. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Mine is only 7 and she's like this.....are you telling me it gets WORSE????? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Exercise always helps! If you send her out to run around for an hour, she might come back in a better mood. Or you will have had an hour without whining. Either way you win! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 One dd going through the teen years was enough for me!! :lol: She is 18 now and really lovely, sweet and fun to be with. Hang in there...it gets worse before it gets better. Unfortunately. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 You described my 11 year old perfectly, except she has always been a super easy child until very recently. Now I don't even recognize her. UGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Exercise always helps! If you send her out to run around for an hour, she might come back in a better mood. Or you will have had an hour without whining. Either way you win! she and I ran over 2 miles before breakfast. But I will send her out to play with her donkey later this afternoon if things don't improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miselainia Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 :grouphug: Sounds like my 12 yo. I keep trying to tell her it's not all about her and the world is NOT ganging up on her to see how miserable she can be. "Exercise always helps! If you send her out to run around for an hour, she might come back in a better mood. Or you will have had an hour without whining. Either way you win!" Thanks, Beaners, for this idea! I'm going to try it today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I don't like 13 either. 14, however is perfectly lovely. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 My 13yr old is normally very sweet & easy going, but she has become unusually irritable lately, too. It makes me sad to see her change, I hope it's only temporary. She's become so sulky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 One dd going through the teen years was enough for me!! :lol: She is 18 now and really lovely, sweet and fun to be with. Hang in there...it gets worse before it gets better. Unfortunately. :glare: Yes, it does. My daughter's 14th year was the worst year of my life, and that's saying something, since my entire family has died, and I've had many rough years. It didn't help that it coincided with my beginning of menopause. If I live through the next 3 years, it will be by the grace of God, though it is a bit better at 15 than at 14. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 13-15 were bad years here. 16 is much better. Here's a big hug to last until she becomes a more reasonable person.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 It gets better but the more you can resolve now the easier the next years will be. :) Can you explain what you mean here? I feel like my 12yo has changed over night. She used to adore me, I was her BFF, etc. Now she seems to think she's better than I am. She is irritable and snippy. I miss my old girl. I know this is a stage but I want to know how to handle it with grace and emerge with a good relationship. I'm thinking not taking her snippiness personally, for one. But how do you not allow attitude, but keep from making mountains from molehills? I want to be understanding of her hormones and her desire for more independence... but I don't want to allow stuff that will be a bigger problem in the teen years. Just a few days ago I was thinking about how nice it is not to be at a hard stage yet. Hmmph. Thanks OP for posting. At least I know I'm not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Exercise always helps! If you send her out to run around for an hour, she might come back in a better mood. Or you will have had an hour without whining. Either way you win! :iagree: Exercise really did help us survive older DD at this age. As did early bed times, more "alone time" in her room away from her siblings, and regular meal times. And when she couldn't be nice to me, yes - she missed out on activities.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 One dd going through the teen years was enough for me!! :lol: She is 18 now and really lovely, sweet and fun to be with. Hang in there...it gets worse before it gets better. Unfortunately. :glare: :iagree: A young teen/preteen girl with pms is a pain to be around. :glare: I remember telling mine that she'd better learn to control it because there was a lifetime of it coming at her. It's that wonderful time of life where they learn that hormones are not an excuse to be *itchy. BUT, it DOES get better. My 16.9 is awesome and she's wonderful to be around. Matter of fact, she's checking my hair right now for a trim and bangs. She brought her scissors home. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eewaggie99 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I can testify that I was truly horrible during my teen years; many relatives have told me they are amazed I turned out so normal. I was moody, irritable, whiny, etc. I would pick fights, throw tantrums, and generally be an all around brat. Around the age of sixteen, I started exercising regularly and found I felt much better after physical activity. Growing up with a family of couch potatoes, I'd never really exercised. My parents noted the improvement and encouraged me to go outside whenever I started acting grumpy. Many years later, I still find my mood is highly dependent on my level of physical activity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 They fall into a hole somewhere around 13 and don't climb out until 16. Those are the hardest years. Really....no words. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 13 is challenging, for sure. Just speaking to the noise sensitivity--that is me. I can deal with it better now than when I was 13--mainly because I'm the mom and can get the hummers to stop humming!--but I can testify to the realness of the irritation. I have a really hard time filtering noises, and certain types of noises (repetitive, droning) take over my brain and prevent all other function. It does feel directed at me, somehow, even though I know it's not. Ds21 has the same issue. The rudeness and temper tantrums have no excuse, but if she really does have a noise sensitivity (and not just a 13yo girl issue) you might want to try to help her manage it. Earplugs, headphones with music, more appropriate ways to request the noise be stopped. My mom is the exact opposite when it comes to noise, and it was extremely frustrating to me to be constantly told to "ignore it" when that just wasn't possible. And certainly, the age doesn't help the attitude and the feeling like everyone is against her. Oy, the dramatics! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 13 is challenging, for sure. Just speaking to the noise sensitivity--that is me. I can deal with it better now than when I was 13--mainly because I'm the mom and can get the hummers to stop humming!--but I can testify to the realness of the irritation. I have a really hard time filtering noises, and certain types of noises (repetitive, droning) take over my brain and prevent all other function. It does feel directed at me, somehow, even though I know it's not. Ds21 has the same issue. The rudeness and temper tantrums have no excuse, but if she really does have a noise sensitivity (and not just a 13yo girl issue) you might want to try to help her manage it. Earplugs, headphones with music, more appropriate ways to request the noise be stopped. My mom is the exact opposite when it comes to noise, and it was extremely frustrating to me to be constantly told to "ignore it" when that just wasn't possible. And certainly, the age doesn't help the attitude and the feeling like everyone is against her. Oy, the dramatics! yes...she was booting up the computer to play her music list to drown out the offending noise, still carping at everyone in the house who were not being completely silent because *she* was trying to study. Yes you can be sensitive to noise, but do something about it...turn on your music...without expecting the whole house to tiptoe around as to not disturb you. It was the attitude that was killing me this morning. It was just one thing after another this morning...she fell asleep in her room this morning and seems like she feels better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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