First Time Homeschooler - Needing Encouragement

[Lady Lulu]

Hello all. :)

 

We are on our third week of homeschooling my kindergartener. Though I think we've been having lots of fun, he has said to me several times, "I don't like homeschool." It breaks my heart to hear him say this. I know the issue is that he doesn't like doing the work and that it takes away from his "play all day" routine. But, it is still very difficult to hear. And, it makes me wonder if I could be doing something better.

 

You can take a look at our homeschool blog if you'd like to get an idea of what our days have been like. Basically, I stick to a Bible story, reading lesson, phonics (ETC), handwriting lesson or activity, and a math game or worksheet. In addition to that, we've read plenty, had an All About Me unit study, and made a lapbook.

 

There are times when his 2 year old twin siblings are doing puzzles or watching Mickey Mouse and he gets so frustrated that I pull him away to do "work." Sometimes, I feel like I have to coerce him to get through each line of a worksheet (ETC), but those are also the places where I feel he is learning the most.

 

Next week, we'll begin "rowing" our first book with FIAR. I'm curious to see if he'll like that any better.

 

Does this attitude ever go away? Any suggestions on how to handle it?

 

Thank you so much for any and all help.

[newlifemom]

It's tough. I'm guessing he didn't go to preschool. That means, he has to stop all this fun to work, granted it doesn't sound like too much, while his siblings get to play.

 

Some of it will be getting used to working. Some of it may help to do small 10 min increments if you are trying to do it all at once. Of course, this year for my 4th child doing K, I have really pared down what we do.

 

We do:

 

Math [i do quite a bit b/c she seems bright and [b] really[/b] loves it.]

OPGTR

Handwriting sheet from R&S

 

The rest is a co-op that meets once a week for memory work. Sometimes she participates at home with memory work, but most of the time she does not.

 

During her play time we'll read a book together or one of her siblings will read to her. I always make sure that there are interesting books about science, nature, people, fairy-tales, etc around at her reading level. She does a lot of crafts alone or with her siblings, but nothing I have organized and not 'school'. Of course with these crafts she is cutting and gluing and playing with shapes and colors.

 

As far as she is concerned, she doesn't do enough school, b/c so little of it is called school. However . . . :D

 

I hope this may help some. :grouphug:

[myfatherslily]

Well.... my 2nd grader still complains every day. And my 4 year old preschooler says, "Why do I have to do school all the time??" and he only has two little easy things to do each day and it takes all of 15 min. at the MOST.

 

School is work. Work doesn't come naturally. Don't feel like it's your fault:)

[lea1]

I feel your pain. I have two K'ers who have also never been to preschool and are used to playing most of the time. They were excited about it for the first couple of days ("we love school mommy!") but it didn't last very long.

 

Now it is hit or miss, depending on what they are doing. One of them tends to be a pleaser so he really doesn't complain about it much. The other is the opposite of a pleaser:tongue_smilie: and he complains about it often.

 

We normally spend about an hour and half doing this:

 

- Bible devotion & memory work

- HWT and they write a couple of numbers for a calendar and 100's chart

- OPGTR / AAS1 (we switch between these every other day)

- Singapore Math 1A

 

We move around and do different things in different places and have a snack about half way through. They also spend some time coloring after they finish writing their letters, so that helps break it up a bit.

 

I have heard "I love school" and "I hate school" in the same week. I sure hope he will outgrow this.

 

All that to say, I understand how you feel and you are not alone...and I am relieved to know that I am not alone.:001_smile:

[Kirch]

:grouphug: It is a lot to get used to, especially if he hasn't really done much school-ish yet, and three weeks isn't really that long. My 7 yo second grader has issues with having to do more school work than his 5 yo brother. Part of my response is tough cookies--you're a big kid now, so we've got to do it, but I've also been trying to be more mindful about giving him more age-related privileges along with the age-related expectations. I also remind him that he had less work when he was in Kindergarten too. So you could try something like that--think of a special privilege for him to get to do. The next time the issue of having to work while the little guys play, say something like, "You know, I know it's not always fun to have to do school work while your siblings get to play, but you're a lot bigger than them. Big kids have to learn a lot! But you know what--when big kids do the things they need to do, they also get to _________."--and introduce the new privilege.

 

After checking out your blog, it looks like you're doing a lot of great hands-on activities, and he certainly looks like he's having fun in the pictures! Great ideas, really well-tailored to him, doesn't look like you're trying to do too much. Great job!

 

Keep in mind too, that with kids that age, most of the time they're expressing what they're feeling NOW, not their overall, long-term, thought-out reaction. I know it's not fun to hear, especially when you put lots of effort and thought into making it interesting and fun for him (oh, I've been there!!). You could try reminding him of the fun things that you've done ("Remember when we played that game--you liked that, didn't you?") and make sure to point out times when you're having fun *while* you're doing school. When he says that, I really think I might go with something like, "Really? Well, that's too bad. I really have fun doing it with you!"--said very cheerfully, and then move on to the next thing. No drama--don't let him see that it bothers you.

 

If you're still struggling, check out your pics. He's definitely having fun, even if he won't admit it!

[Rosy]

My first grader "doesn't like homeschooling". We were just talking about it this afternoon. I asked her (nicely) if she would like to go to school, she didn't say anything. Then I asked her, "Is it that you don't want to have to do anything?" and she said yes.

 

You're doing a reasonable amount of work with him--not too much to overload him, but not too little either. You might play around with the schedule a bit--if you're doing it in 15-minute chunks, try switching to getting it all done at once...or vice versa. Or maybe if he's used to taking a nap, "let him stay up" for 20 min to do schoolwork with you while the littles are sleeping.

 

Maybe try to communicate to him, too, that big people have jobs. Daddy goes to work, Mommy takes care of you guys, and now that you're big, you have a job too! You get to do school so you can be an astronaut someday! See that astronaut? He had to learn how to read and do math when he was 5, too! That kind of thing.

[angela in ohio]

Put the little ones down for a nap. Ask him if he would rather take a nap or do some activities with momma. :D Then spend about 30 minutes, prioritizing math and phonics and then anything else you can fit in.

 

During the rest of your day, get in plenty of fun educational activities as part of your family life: nature walks, trips through art museums, science center visits, etc.

[kalanamak]

I listened to the advice here and made K 90% painless. I started with K4, with 5 minutes sit down at a time. By the end of K, I was "requiring" only 2 15 minute sit down times (we went longer if everything was smiles). I never "pushed to finish just this page". As he turned 6 his maturity advanced, and we moved into a more standard routine.

 

Don't burn out a 5 year old. There is SO much to be done that can be done with fun. I wanted kiddo to listen to me, so I kept the serious stuff down, had him do a lot of outdoor activities, chewed our way through Mudpies to Magnets and Every Body Has A Body, read every prehistory book I could find for his age, played endless math bingo games and card games, did our phonics on the fridge with magnets (although we got all the way through pre-explode the code and start ETC by the end of K), ran around the house touching and naming nouns and acting out while naming verbs. Plus three hours outside, rain or shine (we don't have downpours here). Kiddo retrieved pingpong balls at the old folks social club, went to the kiddo concerts at the symphony, and hit every museum and Zoo in the area.

 

I believe the moms here who say their child loved all the seat work. Mine didn't, but he never said he hated school until long division (:)). Sprout seeds, dig in creeks, talk talk talk, read aloud read aloud read aloud. Once I saw how kiddo was wired, I believed the moms who said they'd wished they'd waited on the thumbscrews.

[sbgrace]

Your blog looks like you're doing a lot of fun! That comment would bother me (:grouphug:) but, based on the blog, I think it's talk honestly. Could he be gauging your reaction or trying to voice complaint about the parts he doesn't like but doing it in little boy flourish? I imagine having siblings not doing the hard stuff makes it harder. I like the idea of doing work during their nap (with some fun just mommy time too if you can).

[myfunnybunch]

It sounds like you've got a great thing going. :)

 

My recommendation for change would be here:

he gets so frustrated that I pull him away to do "work."

 

Look for a way to change your routine so that you're not pulling him away from play time. A morning routine, for example: Breakfast, brush teeth, make bed, school, play. Or lunch, quiet time, school time, play. Or whatever the routine is that makes the most sense in your home. Play follows school. That way he's not having to stop a highly reinforcing self-directed activity to do school. It just makes things a lot easier. :)

 

If it's possible to do some of the schooling while the little ones are having a quiet time or nap, instead of while they're watching tv, that might help too, but I understand that it's important for them to be occupied while you're teaching.

 

Keep it up. You're doing fine. :grouphug: Don't take it personally when he says he doesn't like homeschool. It's hard work, and honestly, there are many days when *I'd* rather play all day too. Just gently let him know that this is what we do, and he'll swing into the routine.

 

Cat

[Beimao]

:grouphug: Having a child say they don't like school is so hard! We've been in school for a week and a half now and I'm already hearing it from my 2nd and k'er. Mostly just wanting to play, not being "forced" to do something. I'm such a bully :tongue_smilie:. I'd definitely agree with keeping things short and sweet- sometimes we use a timer so DC can see how much longer they have. Also agree with not holding school while the other kiddos are doing "fun" stuff- try setting out playdoh or sensory buckets (<3) at the table with you for part of the time. It can take a while to get a good routine set up. so don't give up yet! We have just started Rowing last week, so good luck to you with that! So many fun activities out there to use with FIAR.

[NanceXToo]

I just peeked at your blog. Just wanted to say your days look like they are lots of fun! Maybe it's just a matter of getting used to a schedule. Maybe you need to re-evaluate if he's ready for, say, formal handwriting. My son is almost 6 and I just started a Waldorf-inspired, not overly academic Kindergarten with him, and he'd probably still tell you, "I don't like school" just because he wants to be able to do his own thing when he wants to do it. I figure he'll adjust.

 

Your kids are adorable by the way!

[meggie]

I looked at your blog. You look like you're doing great!!! So many fun things. I am so not that creative, so I hope you don't mind if I steal a few ideas ;) What you might want to try is during the fun times say, "Wow, isn't homeschooling so fun?" or something like that. He probably thinks it but doesn't say it. But when he's not having fun he says it, so it sticks out more. Just try and emphasize the positive a lot. Other than that, I think he'll adjust; you're doing an awesome job.

[GinaPagnato]

Well.... my 2nd grader still complains every day. And my 4 year old preschooler says, "Why do I have to do school all the time??" and he only has two little easy things to do each day and it takes all of 15 min. at the MOST.

 

School is work. Work doesn't come naturally. Don't feel like it's your fault:)

 

 

:iagree: Particularly about the "school is work" part. Not everything will be drudgery, of course. Wait til he finds a subject about which he is passionate, then stand back and watch him soar! Until then, you're training him bit by bit to do his best work.

 

Sometimes, because we put soooo much into planning our home schools, picking the curric, lesson planning, etc., we take it too personally when our kids aren't quite as enthusiastic :tongue_smilie: It's not personal, so smile, say something breezy and confident, like "I know honey, but I just KNOW you can work hard and learn this. Then we can show Daddy (Granny, Gramps, whoever) how much you've learned! Your sibs are playing cuz they're just 2--they can't handle how much you know!" Then get on with the show.

 

Good luck, and :grouphug:, cuz I'm kinda speaking from experience. :D

[LittleIzumi]

:grouphug::grouphug: Mine is a bit ADD (her daddy has it too) so I break things up a LOT. We get up, eat, go for a short walk, do school. Have a snack/playtime, do some more school. Have lunch & longer playtime, do some more school. Play the rest of the day. I try to make it "school and then play" instead of "play and then school."

[FriedClams]

Put the little ones down for a nap. Ask him if he would rather take a nap or do some activities with momma. :D Then spend about 30 minutes, prioritizing math and phonics and then anything else you can fit in.

 

During the rest of your day, get in plenty of fun educational activities as part of your family life: nature walks, trips through art museums, science center visits, etc.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

That's exactly what I did. We did phonics and math when the younger one was napping, then Big could play quietly in her room for an hour with a book on tape while the nap finished up (and so I would not go mental). If we had whining or attitude during lessons - no play time - but it's time for a nap. Worked awesome. We did Sonlight then and did all the read alounds together.

 

I would add - I'd snuggle on the couch for reading lessons. It's their special time. They are big and only they can do this. Make is special. Math, of they are writing, needs to be at a desk or table IMHO so they can learn the mechanics correctly. But reading practice should be fun. I also might let them stay up a whole ten minutes later than the others to read the daily lesson to daddy. That was a huge hit for my kids.

Edited September 8, 2011 by Kayaking Mom

[Mommy22alyns]

Sometimes the girls complain, because really, what kid wouldn't rather be able to just do their own thing? But we just point out that if they weren't homeschooling, they'd be at "regular school" for 8 hours and then have homework to do too! That usually puts things into perspective for them.