Oy. When do your kids see their friends?

[plain jane]

I'm a bit grumpy about this so please bear with me. ;)

 

I'm wondering when your kids get to see their friends so they can play.

 

Between homeschooling and other activities x 5 kids, it seems that there simply are not enough hours in the day. :001_huh:

 

Add to that other peoples' schedules and it's next to impossible to get together.

 

For example, my kids have REALLY good friends that they love dearly but that family starts school at 8am and they are not done until 3:30pm, sometimes 4:00pm, 5 days per week. Mom does not do activities in the evenings (we do so some evenings are out) but doesn't like her kids playing in the evenings (I'm guessing it's hectic because we have to drive to see each other). Sunday is their family day (ours too, but I would be willing to make exceptions) and so Saturday is the only day that her kids see their friends, mine included. :banghead: Of course, her older kids have other friends, so this leaves maybe one Saturday per month, but Saturday is also their errands day so it's not even that often. :(

 

She recently said she has been able to finish school this year at about 2:30 or 3pm on Fridays and has said that we (meaning her and I + all the kids) can get together from 3pm until 5pm on Fridays.

 

I only do 4 days of school but Friday is actually one of them (due to kids' activities/co-op that I have no control over what day they are on) but if I want my kids to see their good friends, I have to take time off school to do so. Bah.

 

I'm guessing it's likely a worthy sacrifice in the end and I do want my kids to have friends but I'm a bit miffed at the lack of flexibility here. I don't count activities or co-op as "friend" time as they don't have that unstructured play that I think is important for them.

 

My kids are usually done by 2:30ish most days and I do try to set up play dates for them between this time and supper with most other families (and I'm finding it's working out okay).

 

Still, it's all quite a bit of a headache, isn't it?

 

How do you guys fit it in?

[Mom0012]

It is a pain, but I set up times for my kids to get together with their friends, preferrably from about 3:30 - 5:30 or 6:00 at least 2 days a week. They both have a standing playdate with a friend every Monday from 2:30 - 4:30. Then, I try to schedule one more visit with another set of friends on another day during the week. I really try to schedule it so both of them have friends over on the same days whenever possible so that we sometimes wind up with a day where there are no friends coming over.

 

My son is getting older, so he now has kids calling him and inviting him over and he does the same. It's more spontaneous, which is good and bad. It's nice that I don't have to go to the effort of making plans with another mom, but it's not so great when I was just hoping we'd have a free afternoon. We've also started seeing friends on Saturdays whereas for years and years we just had scheduled playdates on weekdays.

 

It is important, but we have lots of activities we are involved with as well and I love it when we get a day where we have no activities and no friends coming over so that we can just do school at a relaxed pace.

 

Lisa

[Orthodox6]

a couple of times per month for dd, on a good month. Often less.

 

NOT GOOD. :(

[Halcyon]

I have a homeschool group, and we have outings usually once every two weeks (park days, etc). Weekly, our local YMCA has a homeschool fitness class for an hour which they love, and a lot of their friends attend.

 

A big change for me this year has been putting the boys in afterschool a couple of days a week. It allows me to work (I am an acupuncturist) without burdening my husband more, and allows my kids to be with friends and socialize. You might consider finding an inexpensive afterschool 1 or 2 days a week. Our YMCA is 13 dollars a day for 3.5 hours of games and friendship.

 

Now, when it comes to the very specific relationships that you're talking about...well, we only get to see particular friends that my kids love probably once a month. There are 4 kids in their family and it's just hard to find the time. And they're not a part of our homeschool group, unfortunately :(.

[Elizabeth in WA]

Mine see their friends at their activities. Beyond that they have neighborhood friends they can see evenings they don't have an activity or weekends. My more social two sometimes do overnight at a friends on Friday after gymnastics, and we do science labs with ds13's best friend on Friday or Saturday each week.

 

Social interaction is major reason they have activities. If they didn't serve that purpose, I'd not be inclined to play taxi every weekday evening.

[QuirkyKapers]

They see friends at the activities we do. So, it is about twice a week. I know their friends, and them, want to get together more. I was more flexible last year than I will be this year. They do phone talking two to three times a week.

[Mrs Mungo]

We try to be done by 2:30 or 3. They have activities in the evening, some of those count as friend-time. We try *really, really* hard not to have *any* regular activities on the weekends. That leaves weekends free.

[SeekingHim77]

My kids see friends at church every week. We get together with 2 other families at least once a month for a whole day. We also have some kind of homeschool field trip or meeting about once a month to once every 2 months. Then we have impromptu meetings here and there with other families. The neighbor girls come over every now and then to visit with my daughter. They're not home much though. That's about it with friends their age.

 

We get together with family a lot. My son's best friend is his grandfather who is retired and takes him hunting and fishing a lot. My daughter and I are best friends and do all kinds of fun, girly things together. I dream of finding the perfect family with kids my kids' ages, that we all get along famously and that our schedules mesh wonderfully. I won't hold my breath. :001_smile: Actually, there was a time when a homeschool mom moved to my small town and lived here for 6 months. It was kind of like that with her and her kids. We really miss them.

[NanceXToo]

Hm. Well. My homeschool group is an active one and I'm a relaxed homeschooler with a "do school around life" rather than "live life around school" philosophy (I know, easy for me to say as a relaxed homeschooler who is only homeschooling two kids and one of them a new Kindergartener), but there that is. So my kids see other kids on our frequent field trips and get togethers.

 

My kids are also in extra curricular activities, so they see and interact with other kids there. For my almost 11 y/o daughter, that would be girl scouts, book club, and judo at the Y. There are two girls from activities that she sometimes sees outside of activities, too, for a playdate or whatever.

 

We also live on a street that has a bunch of kids on it. They all go to school but can play after school hours, weekends, summers, etc. So luckily this hasn't been too much of an issue for us.

[....]

My kids are friends with the neighbors, so that helps. My kids are in Tae Kwon Do and scouts - so, they see friends there. Also, my husband and his family are from Korea...so (not to be stereotypical), they're very family-oriented. My daughter wants to call Grandma almost every other day. :D We spend 99% of our free time together as a family. (insert scary music :tongue_smilie:)

[The Girls' Mom]

We have a HS group that meets nearly every Friday for something fun. Usually a park day if the weather permits, but also at each other's houses, etc. Most of the girls friends are in that group. We've been lucky...

[seraphina]

Most of my kids activities don't start until after 6pm so I try to keep the hours of 3:00 to 5:30 open for whatever they want to do. I have an open door policy at my house. If someone wants to come hang out they are more than welcome too. My kids usually see their friends at least 2-3 days a week on weekdays, and Saturdays are always filled with extra kids. My ds, 12, walks up to the middle school everyday to walk home with his friends, they don't always do something after that but they have that 30 minutes just to chat. I have found it gets easier as my kids get older, they need less structure to seeing their friends, they are able to just call them up. I am so glad I very rarely schedule "playdates" now.

[twoforjoy]

DS is still little, and most of his friends don't do activities, and the ones that are available generally start around 6.

 

So, usually from 3-4 or 3-5, there are kids around for him to play with.

[Chris in VA]

Dd's friends are mostly at church, so I spend some time hanging around after the service with MY friends, and she goes to the playground or just chats with them. Sometimes she gets invited over for a Sunday afternoon. She also sees them every other week at youth group.

 

Her ps friends aren't that close, with one exception, and we usually do sleepovers every couple of months with that dear girl. Just last Saturday, dd slept over and then spent the whole day with her friend, going to church and then swimming. It seems that big chunks of time happen more than just the after school type play I grew up with. We also don't live in a neighborhood, so there's no open the door and go out until dinner kind of play like my boys had in Texas.

 

 

She's public schooled now--and we still have problems finding friend time, because it's roughly the same schedule as you seem to keep. Her friends are busy! Getting together during the week is hard.

[Ellie]

At church, at the monthly park day, sometimes on a weekend, on field trips once in awhile. It just depends. Certainly not daily, not even always weekly.

[Farrar]

We see friends at least two or three times a week at our co-op groups, where the kids have plenty of time built in before and after to play together.

 

For me, I've just been sure to make it one of my priorities that I'll ferry my kids around for social time with their friends. I feel like I hear about or know of a lot of homeschool families for whom it's just not a priority, or for whom the hassle of driving 20 mins away is just too much. I have just not allowed myself to have that attitude because I think friendships are important. Of course, it has to go both ways. The friends have to have that attitude too - otherwise it's not a very even relationship.