DarlaS Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I might be offended but since my kids look like little clones I never get that question!:) Same here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 No, I wouldn't be offended. I would just shake my head (again) and be somewhat surprised by people's stupidity. I have three kids. None have the same father. None have the same mother. Adoption will do that. ;) Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted August 25, 2011 Author Share Posted August 25, 2011 Woman has a baby with her DH - both are rh-negative, so no problems; then the DH gets sick, it leaves him infertile, but they want another baby, they opt for donor sperm, they go to doc, get pregnant and she is refered to OB for pregnancy....she goes in to see doc/midwife and no one asks if her DH is the father, they assume he is - but he's not.....donor is rh-positive. Oops! Woman doesn't get the Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg) shot following the birth - baby and mom do well and she and the man want another, so they go back to donor and try again - now she repeatedly miscarries.....because she's rh sensitized and each pregnancy will create antibodies against the pregnancy, causing her to miscarry habitually. Does it make sense now why the question is asked? There are so many scenarios as to why a doctor/midwife should ask - the rh factor being only one reason. In my case, I was asked twice because there was a huge weight difference between my first and second babies. My dd weight 7.7 and my ds weight 10.6. I guess the midwife just couldn't see how that's possible with the same man. Anyway, no one else has ever asked me that question besides that one midwife. The midwife I'm seeing for my current pregnancy has seen all my kids and they pretty much all look alike, so no questions there! :) No random strangers have asked me that question, probably because my kids truly do look all alike. And people usually will comment on that. "Oh, they all look so much alike!" or something like that. The person who posted on facebook has six kids, some are brown haired, some a re blond, some have curly hair, some have straight. But they all belong to her and her husband. It's funny how it works! I'm not even sure what I would say if I was ever asked that question by some stranger. I would probably go with "Why do you ask?", as someone here has suggested. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 You know, now that I think about it, it has been mostly medical professionals who have asked. So it does make sense. Especially (like I said before) considering the demographics of the area where I go to the hospital. Once the kids are born, people never ask - they all look VERY similar!!! And a lot like both of us! But I have to definitely agree with one of the pp about the 'Was it planned?' question. Why is it anyone's business???? We got asked ALL the time when I was pg with dd - seriously, she was only our 3rd kid?? Around here its like if you have more than 2 you're an anomaly... no one could POSSIBLY want more than 2 kids! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 I'm one who has asked many times of cute little kids, 'where did you get those blue eyes?' Or 'red hair?' Since I a) have never seen both parents or b) know both parents really well I certainly am NOT questioning their genes. Or mother's morals. It is just a way to say, 'wow,you are the cutest little thing I've ever seen!' The other day I asked a three year old little boy (I know his parents well), 'where did you get those pretty blue eyes?' He said, 'Wal-Mart.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2011 Share Posted August 25, 2011 My mom gets asked this all the time. She has two sets of kids, with a 13 year age difference between the two middle kids. I think people's questioning is just part of the day and age we live in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvmy4blessings Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I have 4 kids and I have been asked this at least 3 times in my life. I'm not offended so much as embarrassed for the person asking the question who clearly has so little tact they would actually ask this question out loud!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Oh I've got a goodie!!!! We were talking with my professor at school before roll call. And laughing about 14 year old boys as he has one and I do too. He then went on about his 22 year old daughter and said something about the 9 year old as well. All good stuff. Just normal chit chat with those of us In the front row while everyone was filing in. Some woman that had just came in piped up and asked if all his kids were from the same mother. :001_huh: You could have heard a pin drop while he stammered around really not sure how to answer that. She was completely clueless and was asking if the oldest 2 belonged to one mom and the younger to another. I thought how rude and you realize he's gonna grade your work, right??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Some of my kids don't even look related to one another. My husband is half Spanish (Spain-Spanish) and half Ecuadorian. I'm Irish/English/German. Every time we have a child, it's a genetic crapshoot. Additionally, my kids are spaced widely, so when people ask I just assume they are confused and trying to wrap their minds around our non-traditional family. I don't like snide people who say rude things to make you feel small. But usually people who ask those kinds of questions just lack the proper filters between brain and mouth. Impulsiveness doesn't really bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 No, I wouldn't be insulted. You pretty much have to hit me on the head with a brick to insult me though. I have been asked that question. DD4 looks very, very different from my children, husband and myself. It didn't offend me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mona100 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Woman has a baby with her DH - both are rh-negative, so no problems; then the DH gets sick, it leaves him infertile, but they want another baby, they opt for donor sperm, they go to doc, get pregnant and she is refered to OB for pregnancy....she goes in to see doc/midwife and no one asks if her DH is the father, they assume he is - but he's not.....donor is rh-positive. Oops! Woman doesn't get the Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg) shot following the birth - baby and mom do well and she and the man want another, so they go back to donor and try again - now she repeatedly miscarries.....because she's rh sensitized and each pregnancy will create antibodies against the pregnancy, causing her to miscarry habitually. Does it make sense now why the question is asked? There are so many scenarios as to why a doctor/midwife should ask - the rh factor being only one reason. I know that at the hospital I work at, all moms are tested for Rh factor. If they are Rh negative and they have a Rh positive baby, mom will get the RhIg. They don't test the father. Now I don't know if the nurses ask about the father's Rh status but they would not just assume that the mom would not need the shot just bc dad is Rh negative. They will test the mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 At the OBs I went to, all Rh- moms get the 1st shot. They will not play guessing games about who has really fathered the baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mona100 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 At the OBs I went to, all Rh- moms get the 1st shot. They will not play guessing games about who has really fathered the baby. :iagree: For Rh negative moms, they all get that first RhIg shot while pregnant. To get the second RhIg shot, after giving birth, the baby must be Rh positive. If baby is Rh positive, mom will get the shot. If baby is Rh negative, mom will not get the shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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