Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Argh. :banghead: Diva started in this am about wanting to go to ps. Her sole reason being, a friend that has moved out of the complex is going to still be attending a local school, and its 'the only time I'll get to see her!' Uh, no. Not happening. I've been a bit uncomfortable with this kid for a bit, probably since hearing about how she took an EPT...She's 12, like Diva. I find it a wee bit alarming. Plus, Diva is easily led by peers. Her friends made fun of her Christian beliefs, so suddenly Diva doesn't want to pray anymore, and announces she isn't Christian anymore. Gah. There's no WAY this kid is going to ps. I can't imagine how much worse things would get in her being influenced by peers when they already have such a pull on her now. Add in the academic issues, and its a stone cold no way in Hades. In the meantime, I get to deal with a 12 yo sulking, pulling attitude, and claiming I'm ruining her life. Happy Monday morning to me. :banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 How about you move here? I'll trade my current Neighborhood Diva for your much sweeter Diva;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 I'd love to have you for a neighbour, but I think you should move to Canada! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 So far as I can tell, the sole purpose for a parent in the life of a 12 year old girl is to ruin it. So, good job! You're already ahead for the week. One of the top reasons we homeschool is that our family and friend-families remain the major influence group in our children's lives, particularly through the angst-filled adolescent years. When you're trying to define yourself as a person, other confused (or just plain feral) kids are not the best sounding boards or influence into adult character. Really, if you're just a wee bit concerned about a 12 y.o. taking a pregnancy test, you are a better woman than I. My head would fly around and the relationship would end there, uncharitable as that sounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I'd love to have you for a neighbour, but I think you should move to Canada! :D Dh just emigrated from there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Welcome to the world of life with a 12 year old girl. :D It starts getting better....somewhere after 16. :glare: Buckle up, you're in for a ride! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 So far as I can tell, the sole purpose for a parent in the life of a 12 year old girl is to ruin it. So, good job! You're already ahead for the week. One of the top reasons we homeschool is that our family and friend-families remain the major influence group in our children's lives, particularly through the angst-filled adolescent years. When you're trying to define yourself as a person, other confused (or just plain feral) kids are not the best sounding boards or influence into adult character. Really, if you're just a wee bit concerned about a 12 y.o. taking a pregnancy test, you are a better woman than I. My head would fly around and the relationship would end there, uncharitable as that sounds. 'Wee bit' was an understatement. :lol: Problem is, in our area, there simply isn't a lot of kids Diva's age, and as bad as it sounds, this kid seems to be the best of a bad lot. I've banned other kids already. I honestly don't know what it is about our complex, but kids Diva's age are drinking, having s*x, totally unsupervised by parents, getting suspended from school, arrested...Its pretty disgusting. Have I mentioned how badly we want to move? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Dh just emigrated from there! He's forgiven for his mistake. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 'Wee bit' was an understatement. :lol: Problem is, in our area, there simply isn't a lot of kids Diva's age, and as bad as it sounds, this kid seems to be the best of a bad lot. I've banned other kids already. I honestly don't know what it is about our complex, but kids Diva's age are drinking, having s*x, totally unsupervised by parents, getting suspended from school, arrested...Its pretty disgusting. Have I mentioned how badly we want to move? At this point, I will point out that my friends range in age from nearly 20 years younger (one went to HS with my oldest daughter) to 20-odd years older. The peer-herd is not that important, and loses even more appeal when the peers are engaged in delinquent behaviour. All the more reason to re-evaluate the need for them. (As an adult, I've had to do this, too. Maybe 12 is a good age to start learning the skill.) Sigh. It is hard, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 So far as I can tell, the sole purpose for a parent in the life of a 12 year old girl is to ruin it. So, good job! You're already ahead for the week. My thoughts exactly.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 I would have to pray a lot for patience through that. Empathy from my future self! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Any chance you can create a new peer group for her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Problem is, the other kids in the area are the age of the Littles. Other problem is, I'm pretty housebound, thanks to RSD. Taking buses is a nightmare of epic proportions for me. We are putting them in Tae Kwon Do this year, so hopefully that will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 What is RSD? Do any of the churches in the area have youth groups? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Well at least you know she is normal. Homeschooling has not ruined her; she is acting like all 12 year old girls. Didn't you know that you should obey her every wish? My 12 year old is spending the day with her friend who attends a private school that costs $20,000 (both of this girl's parents work there and get discounted or free tuition) but I can't wait to tell her no later tonight; I wonder how long until she understands NO! Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 So far as I can tell, the sole purpose for a parent in the life of a 12 year old girl is to ruin it. So, good job! You're already ahead for the week.QUOTE] This is the honest truth! Seriously, the drama at twelve is mind-boggling. So hold on, you are doing the right thing. At 16, girls start becoming much more lovely, reasonable creatures. Our dd is now 20 and an amazing adult! At 12, well, we wondered. The other 12 year old girls were just frightening. But, the good news is that many do come around. One of her more frightening friends is in the navy studying nuclear physics and her best friend in the world, our "other dd" whom we were seriously concerned might not amount to a hill of beans, is now a junior in her criminal justice program with a 3.85 g.p.a. and a marvelous adult. It does get better, but yes, you are put on this earth for the express purpose of ruininh their lives, stealing all their fun, and generally being a rotten, stick-in-the-mud-party-pooper, prison warden! :D Like all prisoners, they look for the holes in the fence, weaknesses in the foundation, and chances to escape. Keep the guard tower on high alert! :lol: I tend to think if of it a lot like that scene from Jurassic Park when the cool Australian game warden with semi-automatic hunting rifle tells the paleontologists that the female velociraptor tests the fences systematically. Yep, that was me...game warden vs. velociraptor! She was waiting to eat me!! :biggrinjester: Oh, and according to my dad, he says he had decided (though he never let on) that my sister and I would be worthless as adults because we were too emotional! With a huge grin on his face, he told us how pleasantly surprised he was that we turned out so well. :tongue_smilie:I've never gotten him back for that comment. 12 and female, it's a lethal combo. :001_smile: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 What is RSD? Do any of the churches in the area have youth groups? RSD= Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. Short version: the nerves in my rt arm, shoulder - fingertips are constantly screaming to my brain that my rt arm is broken, mangled, crushed. Any stimulus, no matter how small, is misinterpreted as pain. Being brushed against feels like being scrubbed w/sandpaper. Well at least you know she is normal. Homeschooling has not ruined her; she is acting like all 12 year old girls. Didn't you know that you should obey her every wish? My 12 year old is spending the day with her friend who attends a private school that costs $20,000 (both of this girl's parents work there and get discounted or free tuition) but I can't wait to tell her no later tonight; I wonder how long until she understands NO! Good luck! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 [quote name=FaithManor;3043624 I tend to think if of it a lot like that scene from Jurassic Park when the cool Australian game warden with semi-automatic hunting rifle tells the paleontologists that the female velociraptor tests the fences systematically. Yep' date=' that was me...game warden vs. velociraptor! She was waiting to eat me!! :biggrinjester: Faith :lol::lol::lol: Suddenly, it all makes sense! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Wow, is EPT and early pregnancy test:confused:? Argh.:banghead: Diva started in this am about wanting to go to ps. Her sole reason being, a friend that has moved out of the complex is going to still be attending a local school, and its 'the only time I'll get to see her!' Uh, no. Not happening. I've been a bit uncomfortable with this kid for a bit, probably since hearing about how she took an EPT...She's 12, like Diva. I find it a wee bit alarming. Plus, Diva is easily led by peers. Her friends made fun of her Christian beliefs, so suddenly Diva doesn't want to pray anymore, and announces she isn't Christian anymore. Gah. There's no WAY this kid is going to ps. I can't imagine how much worse things would get in her being influenced by peers when they already have such a pull on her now. Add in the academic issues, and its a stone cold no way in Hades. In the meantime, I get to deal with a 12 yo sulking, pulling attitude, and claiming I'm ruining her life. Happy Monday morning to me. :banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 Wow, is EPT and early pregnancy test:confused:? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 (edited) 'Wee bit' was an understatement. :lol: Problem is, in our area, there simply isn't a lot of kids Diva's age, and as bad as it sounds, this kid seems to be the best of a bad lot. I've banned other kids already. I honestly don't know what it is about our complex, but kids Diva's age are drinking, having s*x, totally unsupervised by parents, getting suspended from school, arrested...Its pretty disgusting. Have I mentioned how badly we want to move? :grouphug: I thought moving to this town would help us get away from that element when we still lived in teh city. It was even worse in this small town. My kids have no friends currently because the only 1 I allowed moved back out of this town and back to the city. The rest are like what you have been describing and simply not allowed. I couldn't imagine my 12 year old needing to take an EPT. She still plays with playmobil, webkinz, little pet shops etc. In other words still very much little girl. Is Diva going to be involved in any extra curriculars? Is there a youth group close by she could attend? Once the other kids go back to school and are hardly around it will be a bit easier, but if she has an avenue of other friendships to create it might help too. Are you involved in Shine or HLSA or any of the other homeschool groups in the area? Or the yahoo group for the city? I have met some really amazing parents and kids in those groups when I still lived in teh city and it helped the kids feel more connected to others and to homeschooling itself, because then all their friends were homeschoolers too. ETA: I see you answered those questions in a different post, should have finished the thread first. I still recommend getting onto the yahoo group for the city. I know there was a group of families living in that part of the city on it. They would be the type to want a visit, or would even be willing to pick you guys up to go out somewhere so you can avoid the buses (especially once tummy is here). Edited August 15, 2011 by swellmomma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 :grouphug: I thought moving to this town would help us get away from that element when we still lived in teh city. It was even worse in this small town. My kids have no friends currently because the only 1 I allowed moved back out of this town and back to the city. The rest are like what you have been describing and simply not allowed. I couldn't imagine my 12 year old needing to take an EPT. She still plays with playmobil, webkinz, little pet shops etc. In other words still very much little girl. Is Diva going to be involved in any extra curriculars? Is there a youth group close by she could attend? Once the other kids go back to school and are hardly around it will be a bit easier, but if she has an avenue of other friendships to create it might help too. Are you involved in Shine or HLSA or any of the other homeschool groups in the area? Or the yahoo group for the city? I have met some really amazing parents and kids in those groups when I still lived in teh city and it helped the kids feel more connected to others and to homeschooling itself, because then all their friends were homeschoolers too. She's going to be starting Tae Kwon Do. Attending the mtgs doesn't work b/c of transportation issues. By the time we get to a park day, etc, I'm literally in tears and swaying on my feet. There's very, very little available that's not during the day, evenings or wknds. Depending on how the funding works out, we're looking at a family membership to the rec centre so they can do swim lessons, etc there. She'll have more opportunities this winter, b/c Wolf is taking parental leave for when baby is born, so he'll be able to play taxi and get her wherever. Its one of the issues I have with WCB. The disability has left me housebound, but they'll only cover transportation to and from medical appts...to heck with the rest of my life :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 As has been said, it's part of a mom's job to be criticized by their 12 yo. If you're not doing anything wrong, then you're letting them do whatever they want and voila you have the 12yo taking the EPT. :001_huh: She needs to be connected with kids who know that praying is very cool. Parents can say it and model it in the home - and they should - but at 12 and 13, the opinion of peers looms large. If she can't get together with kids like this IRL, then see if you can find a good online community for her. Check it out carefully and monitor her online time, but see if it helps. I also agree that involvement in your church is a great idea - youth group, music, whatever she'd be willing to do. Twelve is such an impressionable age. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted August 15, 2011 Author Share Posted August 15, 2011 We don't have a church. Wolf doesn't want to go alone with the kids, and me in a crowded setting is a nightmare. Still trying to figure out a compromise for that issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted August 15, 2011 Share Posted August 15, 2011 Yes, with four adult daughters I am well used to being the ruination of just about everything. Poor dd age 12 has started to blame me for ruining HER life and there is just no more sympathy left in me anymore for the hurt feelings. I've begun to notice that when they hit the age of 25 they appreciate me better, so I guess I will just have to wait until then for dd age 12 to understand exactly WHY I am ruining her life. Welcome to the club! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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