Momling Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 My step-mother's mom is in her mid-90's and is rapidly declining in mental health. She's paranoid, depressed, anxious, and has some pretty severe dementia along with arthritis and very poor eyesight and hearing. She was just moved out of her house and into an adult foster care home in our town. She may have to be moved to a psych ward soon, but that's another story. Currently my stepmom visits her every afternoon and most nights needs to help settle her too. My stepmom is going out of town for two days for her niece's graduation and has asked me to stop by. As I understand it, she's horribly bored. She can't read or can't see the TV and doesn't have the attention span or hearing for being read to. The only thing she enjoys doing is folding towels. Apparently her caregivers bring her a load of towels, she folds them and then they go and mess them up and bring them to her again. She used to enjoy quilting and reading the Bible, but was never very social or had many hobbies. I only met her when she was in her late 80's and really only visited on a few occasions, so it's not like we share any memories. I don't believe she remembers me, but I thought I'd have the most chance of having a successful afternoon if we could do something together. Do you have any ideas for what I can bring with me when I visit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 Anyone?? :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Will they allow you to take her on a walk (in a wheelchair)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I've heard music can be very helpful--Could you bring some music she might enjoy, like hymns, Big Band, etc.? I don't know much about the elderly w/dementia, but I've also heard some may remember older events and people--but asking her about her past may upset her, IDK. Sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I've heard music can be very helpful--Could you bring some music she might enjoy, like hymns, Big Band, etc.? I don't know much about the elderly w/dementia, but I've also heard some may remember older events and people--but asking her about her past may upset her, IDK. Sorry. :grouphug: Music from the 30s and 40s. Can she watch old movies? My dad watched It Happened One Night over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 My grandmother didn't have dementia, but she definitely slowed down physically and mentally, and her eyesight and hearing declined. I used to take her crappy magazines so we could giggle and make nasty comments about the superstar's frocks. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Music, I agree! Do they allow pets and do you have one you could bring? I did that when visiting nursing homes. Could she handle playing a kids card game or something like 'Trouble'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Kirkwood Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Are you bringing your kids? My grandmother has dementia. She has no idea who my kids are but she smiles and seems to enjoy being around them. She asks them questions, often the same thing over and over, about how old they are, what grade they're in, etc. They know to expect that and it gets her to engage with them so it seems to work. We bring toys/activities for the kids to do and she just enjoys being around them while they color, play, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I visit my grandma, who has advanced dementia. I also spent several years visiting my aunt with dementia due to a brain tumor. Folks with dementia still like the things they always liked. For my aunt that meant clothes, make-up, music, typing, paper. My grandma's tastes are similar. Grandma likes to sort paper, so I sometimes bring a humongous stack of colored paper and she sorts it into piles. She also likes cutting, so sometimes I will allow her to use scissors and she will cut confetti. My grandmother loves it when I do her nails. I go all out with buffing, filing, several coats of various polish, and lotion. It kills a fair amount of time. I also often bring cheesy magazines and we page through them together. I leave the magazines there with her. You mentioned quilting? Bring a couple medium-sized fabric shapes and let her baste them together. You can also bring some simple, preschool puzzles. (Really, REALLY simple ones for a really young child.) Another nice option is a coloring book and colored pencils or crayons. Can you take a walk together? My grandmother also LOVES looking at photos and hearing all about the people in the photos. You'll want to think in terms of ten minute activities. Some of your ideas may be overwhelming. Just whisk it away (OUT OF SIGHT in a bag or something) and move on to something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classical Country Mama Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I've heard music can be very helpful--Could you bring some music she might enjoy, like hymns, Big Band, etc.? :iagree: My kids and I regularly visit an Alzheimers group. I only know like five chords, but I lug out the old guitar and we have a cheery singalong. The group members are in varying stages of decline, but there are times when a song temporarily brings them back. One lady has forgotten most things; she can't speak or even use the bathroom. But we were singing "Mary Had a Little Lamb," and all of a sudden she started singing along. It was awesome. Music, I agree! Do they allow pets and do you have one you could bring? Are you bringing your kids? My grandmother has dementia. She has no idea who my kids are but she smiles and seems to enjoy being around them. She asks them questions, often the same thing over and over, about how old they are, what grade they're in, etc. They know to expect that and it gets her to engage with them so it seems to work. We bring toys/activities for the kids to do and she just enjoys being around them while they color, play, etc. :iagree: This too. Seeing the folks respond to kids is deeply moving. I also bring photo albums of trips to various countries and discuss them in great detail. If they are able, they can turn the pages and look at the photos while I chat. It's a win-win; they get to see interesting new pics, which they love, and I get to talk their ears off. :D They also for the most part come to life when animals are brought in, especially friendly and docile dogs. We also do easy crafts with them, such as collages (most of them can't cut up magazines, so they choose the pics if they can and we cut it out for them) or fingerpainting or easy gluing projects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 (edited) Great ideas! There is a magazine called Reminisce which is really neat! It has articles that you could read to her about the "old days", old photos that people have sent in of families doing fun things, etc. and it's like a trip down memory lane, so to speak. (Sorry, that may be a painful phrase!) Also: Making collages out of photos. Glue sticks! Playing Bingo--we bought a set and made our own larger cards with big numbers on them--and using those round stampers to mark each square is fun. Putting stickers on envelopes or using chunky stamps/ink to make pretty cards for others. Sorting buttons by color or shape into pretty little dishes/jars is something that dh's mamaw liked to do. (Not sure why, but the sorting and folding and just feeling productive activities were her favorites.) Drying or "cleaning" silverware with a pretty hanky or towel as we sat together and chatted or watched tv. Building things with pipe cleaners! The kids would make necklaces or funny "hats" with her and she'd crack up. Finishing off a box of chocolates together...hehe Edited August 10, 2011 by 6packofun add Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 My dad had Alzheimers (and Parkinsons). He enjoyed music, old TV shows and movies, old photo albums of the families (like from when he was in his 20s-30s)... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandymom Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 There is a sweet lady at my grandmother's home that loves baby dolls. She has one that she carries with her constantly. She loves on it and takes care of it. My guess is that she just loves babies but obviously can't care for a baby now so the baby doll stands in for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 My mom likes chocolate milk shakes. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 At that point in her walk thru Alzheimers my grandmother also loved chocolate shakes. She had difficulty eating but would drink those like crazy. She loved having someone wash and style her hair as well as the manicures. I think it was the touch that was so important to her. Music was good, if the songs were short, but movies and TV shows didn't have much appeal because she couldn't even remember the commercial as it was finishing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GESTEP Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 When we visited there were a few ladies that loved baby dolls as someone else mentioned. Also things to fidget with like you would give a toddler-knobs, zippers, latches that were mounted on a board but any kind of toddler fidget toys were good. Maybe a toy piano or xylophone. Try to keep the conversation one sided, as in you do the talking and don't ask her questions. It can be frustrating if they struggle with speech and have to try to collect their thoughts and speak. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted August 10, 2011 Author Share Posted August 10, 2011 Thank you so much for your ideas! I'll see what I can find around the house that she might enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I appreciate all of the ideas as my mom steadily declines with Lewy Body dementia. She's only 76, but the disease is robbing her of the ability to do the things she used to enjoy. I sometimes have a hard time figuring out the best way to keep her occupied, without making her feel like an "old person", because she catches on to that and glares at me :glare:. Grandma likes to sort paper, so I sometimes bring a humongous stack of colored paper and she sorts it into piles. My mom is constantly trying to sort paper! I'm going to bring a box of paper that "I really need sorted" :001_smile:. My mom likes chocolate milk shakes. ;) I watched my mom down one of those big soup mugs full of chocolate milk today! She had gotten it for herself and I asked if she was sure she wanted that much. I guess so :D! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 My grandmother liked having house plants in her room. She would water them every day and kill them, so we would have to replace them every couple of weeks. Catalogs - even things like seed and plant catalogs. They make large print books like Sudoku, crossword puzzles, etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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