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Friend issue...WWYD?


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I'd be honest about the dynamic. It might be something her child can be trained to not do... we aren't born knowing these things! Kids act immature and for some that = exclusive. If I had heard about the party via FB, I would have been insulted too, given our kids' connection.

 

If she sees the dynamic as a problem and wants to work on it with her child, I'd give it another chance. Might end up being your child's lifelong best friend!

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I think kids go through stages.

 

Mine sometimes try to exclude younger siblings... sometimes it's more obvious and I will step in and sometimes I miss it.

 

This other child may have a hunger for a "best friend" and may think that your child is a potential candidate.

 

Is there anything else about this child that bothers you?

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I don't think I would bring up her child's behavior nor feel the need to defend my child's social circle to this person. You have the built-in excuse of a move and how that often triggers new friendships due to proximity. Kindly just say something like "Thanks for checking on us. All is fine. No one is mad on this end and we are simply settling in to our new community". Let it die a natural death.....

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I don't think I would bring up her child's behavior nor feel the need to defend my child's social circle to this person. You have the built-in excuse of a move and how that often triggers new friendships due to proximity. Kindly just say something like "Thanks for checking on us. All is fine. No one is mad on this end and we are simply settling in to our new community". Let it die a natural death.....

 

I agree with this.

 

It sounded to me like she (mom of other child) was looking to pick a fight. Best to just blow it off and move on.

 

Cari

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I don't think I would bring up her child's behavior nor feel the need to defend my child's social circle to this person. You have the built-in excuse of a move and how that often triggers new friendships due to proximity. Kindly just say something like "Thanks for checking on us. All is fine. No one is mad on this end and we are simply settling in to our new community". Let it die a natural death.....

 

I think the above approach will equal the least heartache in the long run.

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My 10yo daughter had (has?) a friend, "F" (for Friend), very similar to this. The mother and I knew each other well but I had to step away from the friendship when the mother's behavior got out of hand. F is dramatic, mean, and manipulative. Like you, we discussed these qualities and how treating people in that way isn't ok, etc, and B agreed that it was offputting and made her feel bad for the other kids to be treated like that.

 

B and F continued along letter writing for a while, then via email when we gave B an account linked to mine. It was ok, I guess, but then F got her own cell phone and would call mine over and over again, despite having been instructed otherwise. Most of the time, she would call after B went to bed (no bedtime rules at her house, other than the parents deciding the children had been up long enough and screaming at everyone to go to sleep at some point), or during lacrosse practice, so B would be able to talk and wouldn't have much opportunity to call her back. B was pretty involved with her teammates, too, which sort of helped the whole thing fizzle.

 

They run into each other, rarely, and scurry off to chat when that opportunity arises. It's not much of an issue. I would think moving an hour away would have similar result; there just isn't the ability to maintain the same quality of friendship across that distance. If you run into them when you're in the area, they can catch up in person, then you go home to your regular routine. No biggie.

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I don't think I would bring up her child's behavior nor feel the need to defend my child's social circle to this person. You have the built-in excuse of a move and how that often triggers new friendships due to proximity. Kindly just say something like "Thanks for checking on us. All is fine. No one is mad on this end and we are simply settling in to our new community". Let it die a natural death.....

:iagree:

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