9yo with autism taken from father

[Laurie]

http://www.bclocalnews.com/news/124520804.html

 

It's awful to think that if you call the police for help you could end up having your child taken away from you.

 

What do you think? :confused:

[Susan in KY]

Horrid.

[Mom in Michigan]

That is so sad :( , I hope he gets her back.

[Sputterduck]

That's disgusting. So if you're in Canada and your child is missing, don't call the police.

[Teachin'Mine]

Horrendous.

[Once Again]

This makes me feel sick. God protect them and reunite them soon.

[Laurie]

That's disgusting. So if you're in Canada and your child is missing, don't call the police.

 

I wonder if there are criminals in Canada who are allowed to be under house arrest with an ankle bracelet for tracking?

There are GPS tracking devices made specifically for children that could certainly be used in a situation like this.

It makes me sick to think about how this little girl is feeling right now. I read the newspapers enough to know that bad things also happen when children are in the care of the government.

[Sputterduck]

I wonder if there are criminals in Canada who are allowed to be under house arrest with an ankle bracelet for tracking?

There are GPS tracking devices made specifically for children that could certainly be used in a situation like this.

It makes me sick to think about how this little girl is feeling right now. I read the newspapers enough to know that bad things also happen when children are in the care of the government.

 

That's a fabulous suggestion. I wonder if there is a way to get that suggestion to the father. It might help him convince the government to give him his baby back.

[Laurie]

That's a fabulous suggestion. I wonder if there is a way to get that suggestion to the father. It might help him convince the government to give him his baby back.

 

I read about this story on a web newpaper about autism. The editors have already published the phone number for the Ministry of Children and Family Development so that people can call to share their thoughts and suggestions.

 

I hope some kind of legal defense fund is set up soon. I can't imagine having to wait until mid-July for a hearing to determine what my "access" to my own child would be.

[Mommy22alyns]

Outrageous and sad. Up to a year to get her back? How much damage is that doing?

[july19]

"Lighten his load"??? How is taking one child away lightening his load? :confused:

 

If I were the parent, taking one child away would be compounding my "load" because I would be wrought with worry the whole time!

 

This story is horrifying! That poor family. I'm...I'm beyond words at this point!

[LibraryLover]

Nobody thinks his quote of "they are probably holding her down and drugging her " sounds a tiny bit off?

[MamaSheep]

Assuming the circumstances are as described in the article I find this appalling!

[SquirrellyMama]

Nobody thinks his quote of "they are probably holding her down and drugging her " sounds a tiny bit off?

 

How so? I'm curious because I'm not sure why that would send up red flags. I might assume the worse too if my kids were taken from me by the state.

 

The thing that got me at first was the comment that he had taken his off of her for only a moment. How did she have time to climb the tree and jump a fence in a moment?

 

Kelly

Edited June 30, 2011 by kwiech

[Laurie]

Nobody thinks his quote of "they are probably holding her down and drugging her " sounds a tiny bit off?

 

Honestly, I would be afraid of the same thing. And many years ago I volunteered in a pediatric in-patient psychiatric ward. There really are people who will put you into some kind of hold, put you into a padded isolation room, and give you drugs. I feel terrible about a child with autism being taken from her parent (who has managed to keep her alive for 9 years already) and put into a psychiatric hospital just because she got out of their yard.

[katilac]

Nobody thinks his quote of "they are probably holding her down and drugging her " sounds a tiny bit off?

 

No, not at all. She is being held in a psychiatric facility, where drugs and "safe holds" are routinely used to manage patients. That's not a slam against such facilities, it's just a fact.

 

I'm thinking that providing him with some freakin' help AT HOME would not only be a less traumatizing way to lighten his load, but surely less expensive as well. Where is the sense??

[Niffercoo]

 

The thing that got me at first was the comment that he had taken his off of her for only a moment. How did she have time to climb the tree and jump a fence in a moment?

 

Kelly

 

 

Have you ever had a child with autism? My daughter's nickname used to be "I swear she was just right here!" One time I asked a good friend to watch her at the ball field so I could go to the bathroom alone. She was 7 at the time. I reminded the friend that Reece likes to wander in public and you MUST keep your eyes on her all the time. When I came back, she was gone and they were looking for her. "I swear I just took my eyes off her for a second!" They can be incredibly fast. Just a few days ago, my friend's 10 year old autistic son climbed their fence (which is top with barbed wire), went into the neighbor's house, stripped down, and climbed into the bathtub and ran himself a bath. If you haven't dealt with it on a personal level, you really can't imagine.

[Niffercoo]

Having 2 autistic kids (one being a 9 year old girl) plus another child, this story hits way too close to home. How heartbreaking for that family. And how frightening for families who have children with autism.

[twoforjoy]

I'm a bit wary any time we only get one side of the story. In this case, social services really can't say anything, so we're only hearing what the dad has to say. Without knowing the details, I'm not willing to say that it's an outrageous abuse of power.

[MamaSheep]

Have you ever had a child with autism? My daughter's nickname used to be "I swear she was just right here!" One time I asked a good friend to watch her at the ball field so I could go to the bathroom alone. She was 7 at the time. I reminded the friend that Reece likes to wander in public and you MUST keep your eyes on her all the time. When I came back, she was gone and they were looking for her. "I swear I just took my eyes off her for a second!" They can be incredibly fast. Just a few days ago, my friend's 10 year old autistic son climbed their fence (which is top with barbed wire), went into the neighbor's house, stripped down, and climbed into the bathtub and ran himself a bath. If you haven't dealt with it on a personal level, you really can't imagine.

 

:iagree:This is so true. I have a friend whose young autistic child has been brought home by the police several times after being found organizing various garages in the neighborhood. Since all the doors and windows in the house are routinely kept locked, nobody's really quite sure how this happens. At least, that's the story I hear from his mother.

 

I do know from experience that autistic kids can do unexpected things rather quickly and disappear almost instantaneously into places you would never think to look. And an autistic child in a stressful situation to which he or she is unaccustomed is HIGHLY likely to go ballistic and exhibit the kinds of behaviors that would require someone to hold the child down to prevent injury to the child or someone else. And that is also the kind of behavior that would prompt someone at a mental health institution to administer some kind of medication to calm the patient. So I don't find those details far-fetched.

 

That said, though, this story is clearly being told from the dad's perspective, as the Ministry declined to comment in order to protect the family's privacy. Since removing the child seems like an overreaction to the situation as described, it makes me wonder if there were other factors involved in the decision to remove the child that we have not been made aware of. So no, I'm not ready to just take the whole story at face value, but I don't think the dad's fears about his daughter's treatment are entirely unfounded, or that his story that it only took a moment for her to disappear far-fetched.

[SquirrellyMama]

Have you ever had a child with autism? My daughter's nickname used to be "I swear she was just right here!" One time I asked a good friend to watch her at the ball field so I could go to the bathroom alone. She was 7 at the time. I reminded the friend that Reece likes to wander in public and you MUST keep your eyes on her all the time. When I came back, she was gone and they were looking for her. "I swear I just took my eyes off her for a second!" They can be incredibly fast. Just a few days ago, my friend's 10 year old autistic son climbed their fence (which is top with barbed wire), went into the neighbor's house, stripped down, and climbed into the bathtub and ran himself a bath. If you haven't dealt with it on a personal level, you really can't imagine.

 

I know, that is why I said "at first". After that I decided I couldn't judge because I don't have a child with autism. I had that in my original post but then left it out thinking I would be in trouble for saying it. I meant no harm.

[Ritsumei]

No, not at all. She is being held in a psychiatric facility, where drugs and "safe holds" are routinely used to manage patients. That's not a slam against such facilities, it's just a fact.

 

 

I can confirm that; I used to work in one. We did our best to minimize it in our facility. But the fact is, the kids sometimes were so out of control that it helped them. I'd stand by any time I used the holds or gave the meds.

 

But not every facility is like that. It would just *kill* me to have my child taken to one that I hadn't personally chosen, couldn't stop by and visit regularly, get to know the staff, all that. I'd be looking for someone to press charges against. It's called kidnapping, even when the state does it.

[LNC]

I have a son with autism. If he disappeared several times and was found unattended in a neighbor's POOL, you can be sure I would cooperate with his dr's recommendation for medication. I feel very sorry for this father, and I don't agree with removal. But, I think he needs to consider following his dr's advice for meds. She needs to be safe. Sedation/psychiatric meds isn't at all ideal, and should be a last resort - but I think he is there.

[LibraryLover]

No, not at all. She is being held in a psychiatric facility, where drugs and "safe holds" are routinely used to manage patients. That's not a slam against such facilities, it's just a fact.

 

I'm thinking that providing him with some freakin' help AT HOME would not only be a less traumatizing way to lighten his load, but surely less expensive as well. Where is the sense??

 

 

I understand that. I can't believe parents of children with such dramatic needs cannot get the help they need. I wasn't thinking that far ahead. When I read that quote, I wondered if the authorities believed he was withholding treatment for her somehow, that perhaps he was not hooked up with any services, or rejecting services, maybe.

 

I didn't mean to sound in any way caustic about this situation.

Edited June 30, 2011 by LibraryLover

[LibraryLover]

I have a son with autism. If he disappeared several times and was found unattended in a neighbor's POOL, you can be sure I would cooperate with his dr's recommendation for medication. I feel very sorry for this father, and I don't agree with removal. But, I think he needs to consider following his dr's advice for meds. She needs to be safe. Sedation/psychiatric meds isn't at all ideal, and should be a last resort - but I think he is there.

 

 

Ok. I was wondering. So I wasn't totally caustic in my thoughts.

[chiguirre]

 

In the father's favor is the fact that they only took this one child leaving the other 2 in his care. He must not be suspected of abuse or neglect or they would have taken all three.

 

There aren't many meds for kids with autism. If atypical antipsychotics don't work, you're out of luck for meds that control aggression. Unfortunately the atypical antipsychotics can have severe side effects including making aggression much worse or causing very rapid weight gain that can cause the onset of diabetes. It's a tough call to make. Meds work well for ds1, but I would completely understand a parent being reluctant to try Risperdal or Abilify, because you can go from the frying pan into the fire.

[chiguirre]

I understand that. I can't believe parents of children with such dramatic needs cannot get the help they need. I wasn't thinking that far ahead. When I read that quote, I wondered if the authorities believed he was withholding treatment for her somehow, that perhaps he was not hooked up with any services, or rejecting services, maybe.

 

I didn't mean to sound in any way caustic about this situation.

 

No, we don't get much help at all.

 

You can send your child to school but you might be called every day to come get them because they're melting down. If you have the misfortune of being in a district that doesn't deal with autism well, you may have to worry about your child's physical safety. I've known kids who've wandered away from school repeatedly. I've heard of kids put in isolation who have injured themselves. I've heard of kids who were abused by inadequately trained staff. You might get your insurance to cover therapy, but only if it's not self-funded, your child is not over the age limit, and you live in the right state. Then there's the problem of finding therapy, getting on the very long wait list and commuting to it (or moving). The wait list for respite care is about 10 years in Texas and our legislature cut reimbursement rates for community-based care to the point that many programs are closing. That will force more elderly parents to place their adult disabled children in state homes.

 

Even if you're upper middle class the financial and physical burden of caring for a child with severe autism is immense. Without financial resources, it's just crushing.

[MamaSheep]

In the father's favor is the fact that they only took this one child leaving the other 2 in his care. He must not be suspected of abuse or neglect or they would have taken all three.

I agree that this is in the father's favor. But I still don't think we've been given the whole story. And the fact that they already have a "family outreach worker" who visits them twice a week makes me think the family has been on the Ministry's radar for a while and maybe this was just a last straw kind of thing. They may have removed only one child because they believe the father is able to care for the other children but unable to meet this one child's special needs. That does happen sometimes in the States. I don't know about Canada, I've only been involved with the foster system in one U.S. state (as a licensed foster parent).

 

I thought it was strange that neither the girl's school principal nor the family outreach worker is allowed to write a letter in support of the father. You'd think those would be exactly the sort of people whose opinions the "powers that be" would seek. Maybe they do, but just in some other way than letters of support--again, I don't know much of anything about Canada's family services procedures.

 

There aren't many meds for kids with autism. If atypical antipsychotics don't work, you're out of luck for meds that control aggression. Unfortunately the atypical antipsychotics can have severe side effects including making aggression much worse or causing very rapid weight gain that can cause the onset of diabetes. It's a tough call to make. Meds work well for ds1, but I would completely understand a parent being reluctant to try Risperdal or Abilify, because you can go from the frying pan into the fire.

 

Believe me, I'm aware that there aren't many meds that help. We're very lucky that a combination of anxiety meds and some behavioral types of interventions have pretty much eliminated our ASD ds's aggressive/violent episodes, but having lived through them I can definitely understand why institutional caregivers might need to use sedatives and other appropriate medications to help the child. Ds was a holy terror when he was nine, and if he'd been any bigger than he was I would have been in trouble. If he was that way now, I don't know what I'd do because he's nearly as big as I am, and in an adrenaline-fueled rage I don't think I could pin him down anymore. But yes, knowing what I do about some of the medications that are used I can ALSO understand the dad's reluctance to medicate.

 

I can see both sides of this one, and I just don't think we have enough information to be too judgy of either side.

 

No, we don't get much help at all.

 

You can send your child to school but you might be called every day to come get them because they're melting down. If you have the misfortune of being in a district that doesn't deal with autism well, you may have to worry about your child's physical safety. I've known kids who've wandered away from school repeatedly. I've heard of kids put in isolation who have injured themselves. I've heard of kids who were abused by inadequately trained staff. You might get your insurance to cover therapy, but only if it's not self-funded, your child is not over the age limit, and you live in the right state. Then there's the problem of finding therapy, getting on the very long wait list and commuting to it (or moving). The wait list for respite care is about 10 years in Texas and our legislature cut reimbursement rates for community-based care to the point that many programs are closing. That will force more elderly parents to place their adult disabled children in state homes.

 

Even if you're upper middle class the financial and physical burden of caring for a child with severe autism is immense. Without financial resources, it's just crushing.

 

Even having a child on the high functioning end of the spectrum gets pretty pricey, and our insurance doesn't cover anything related to autism. We have to make sure that his doctor's office uses the anxiety code for the primary diagnosis when we go in for meds because then the insurance covers both the visits and the meds. If they use the autism code as primary with anxiety as a secondary diagnosis the insurance won't cover the visit or the meds, even though it's the exact same services. Evidently kids who are anxious, but also happen to be autistic deserve help, whereas kids who are autistic and also happen to be anxious do not. It's ludicrous. It's been coded wrong a couple of times, but fortunately I can just call the clinic and have them swap the codes and resubmit and then the insurance pays up. Silly, silly silliness.

 

BUT

 

This family is in Canada, which has a whole different arrangement. I was interested to read in the article that:

 

The ministry provides families with up to $22,000 per year for each child with ASD under six. It then provides up to $6,000 per year for each child aged six to 18 for autism intervention services and therapies, in addition to programs inside the public education system.

 

Wouldn't that be nice?