Melinda Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 If you have no idea what I am talking about, you can catch up here.... http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=283385 Last night we had some more things happen that I do not feel like typing out (toooooo long) and L was unsupervised/running up, down, and across the street yet again. I had the phone in my hand and was about to call, but the grandmother managed to catch L and get her in the house. This afternoon when my kids were out of earshot, I called the non-emergency police number for our town. The lady who answered the phone (who happens to live on our street and know about this situation firsthand) seemed glad to hear from me. She asked me to call CPS and explain what has been happening to them. So I did. The person I spoke with there was so nice, which for some reason, I did not expect. The local police will be patrolling our street during the hours I told them that this is a problem. Hopefully they will catch it happening. If I see her out and unsupervised, I am supposed to call the town police (police station is about 1 min from our houses) when it is happening and they will send someone over. Tonight, L came to the door again (K stayed outside our fence but made sure to tell me she followed L here since I told L not to come here unless she was going to be respectful). I told L that because of the way she has been acting and the things she has been doing, that she needs to stop coming here for a while (I added the "for a while" to try to soften it a bit). K looked like she wanted to slap me and then told me I need to go take a good long look at myself in the mirror. I went outside and said, "excuse me? What does that mean?" She repeated what I said and I asked again what that meant. She told me to think about it. :confused: So K went storming home and L started spitting at me and yelling at me. I have been thinking about what she said for the last hour, and I am still confused. I am sure this is not the end of it, but man is this stressful and irritating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 How awful for all. I'm glad the powers that be are interested. Poor mite, imagine being so ill-trained and not having any idea why the world isn't working out for you. I'd be moving, too. Stuff like this keeps me awake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I have been thinking about what she said for the last hour, and I am still confused. It sounds like she is wanting you to take a look at yourself and how you are behaving. From her point of view, she is seeing a person who is not treating her child the way she thinks you should be doing. She obviously has issues so her perceptions of you should not cause you to doubt yourself. You have a certain set of expectations of your own that you insist be practiced by the members of your family and you expect no less from others who come into your home. You will not be able to reason with her on this subject, however mistaken you think she is. You did the right thing and you have help from the police and social services should anything else happen. This may become annoying, but I wonder if you should document the things you see and hear. I don't have any personal experience with CPS so I don't know if they would require information from outside sources like yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I hope this young child gets the positive attention she needs and some responsible supervision. Poor things. What you are doing may be the catalyst that gets the help she needs before she gets injured. Re: the child "told me I need to go take a good long look at myself in the mirror": I have heard this used as a comeback when a person calls a name or makes a critical comment to someone. Ex: Person #1: You are rude. Person #2: Go take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. It is similar to a pot calling the kettle black saying. She was telling you that you behaved the way you said she did, except the child didn't really understand how to use the phrase in a way that made sense. She probably has heard it used and decided to use it herself. She may not even know what it means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Yes, Melinda, I agree with Beth. She wants you to take a good hard look at yourself and figure out why you won't play her way. Don't put weight in someone's words when they are upset that you won't redraw your family's safe boundaries to accommodate them. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 CPS is usually very interested to hear what you have to say if what you are telling them is something that you yourself have observed. Sounds like that mom is a nut and this poor kid can't help being the way she is. Maybe CPS can require the mom to attend parenting classes........not that this is a solution. You said that the mom lives with her parents, what do they do when these situations happen? Are they involved at all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I just can't fathom why - if she thinks so poorly of you - she keeps knocking on your door. Agreeing with the others, mom's nuts, so don't let her words cause you to doubt yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Re: the child "told me I need to go take a good long look at myself in the mirror": I have heard this used as a comeback when a person calls a name or makes a critical comment to someone. Ex: Person #1: You are rude. Person #2: Go take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. It is similar to a pot calling the kettle black saying. She was telling you that you behaved the way you said she did, except the child didn't really understand how to use the phrase in a way that made sense. She probably has heard it used and decided to use it herself. She may not even know what it means. The mom said this, not the child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted June 17, 2011 Author Share Posted June 17, 2011 Re: the child "told me I need to go take a good long look at myself in the mirror": I have heard this used as a comeback when a person calls a name or makes a critical comment to someone. Ex: Person #1: You are rude. Person #2: Go take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. It is similar to a pot calling the kettle black saying. She was telling you that you behaved the way you said she did, except the child didn't really understand how to use the phrase in a way that made sense. She probably has heard it used and decided to use it herself. She may not even know what it means. No, the MOM told me to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I just can't fathom why - if she thinks so poorly of you - she keeps knocking on your door. Agreeing with the others, mom's nuts, so don't let her words cause you to doubt yourself. I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Melinda, I think it's wonderful that you have taken steps to protect this child AND your family. Good for you!! :grouphug: As for what K says... who cares? She's nuts, hon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 While I think you are doing the right thing for your family, she probably assumes you are being two-faced with her child. IIRC from the other thread, at one point you considered adopting or fostering this child. Now she's not allowed in your home. Regardless of the events that transpired in between she probably sees this as outright rejection for no reason. Mom has some blinds spots and is not able to see this situation clearly. :grouphug: I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I hope that this will be a catalyst to get this child some love, attention, and discipline. I also hope that you have all your ducks in a row and have protected yourself legally the best you can should K decide to vindictively come after you.... E.g. Calling CPS and making things up about your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Mom is just trying to make you feel bad because she's losing her free babysitting service. Her response doesn't even make sense in the situation, but it sounds like she was desperate to say something rude to you and that was the best she could do at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 I have been thinking about what she said for the last hour, and I am still confused. I doubt there was any real meaning to it. Probably just random self-righteousness that sounded good to K in the heat of the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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