catalinakel Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I can't believe I am saying this, but I am being drawn to join a mega church in my community. I have never been much for mega churches, but am starting to believe that perhaps it is a good place for me and my kiddos. I am curious what those who have been involved with a mega church and then left might say the drawbacks are, aside from the obvious ones (size, anonimity, $ spent on advertising, etc.) The big draw for me is what seems to be a community of believers who are committed to recovery issues and connecting with one another regularly. It's almost like there one has permission to love lavishly, to share generously and to be transparent. I am having a hard time explaining this....but, any input is appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I have a friend that loves hers and her home group but says it's weird not having your pastor know you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I've only been to one megachurch, but I was there for 10 years, so here's my experience: It's wide and shallow. Every "Christian" trend that comes down the pike is endorsed and acted upon. It was gimmicky. You get lost in the shuffle quickly. While it looks like everyone there is of the same mind, they're not. The pastors have too much on their plate to really know their flock. It's cliquey. The "haves" make the rules. Appearances matter far more than heart issues do. Having said all that, there were some people I could connect to. It wasn't all bad, but there certainly was a LOT of judgment, preconceived notions, elitism, and exclusions from activities and events if you weren't good enough. So, my experiences weren't all that great. YMMV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcurry Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 It is true that there are many opportunities at a large church. There are more than enough resources available for both you and your children. On the other hand, it is easy to get lost in a large church. It is easy enough to attend without getting involved. It would be really overwhelming for my children to be in such large classes. It would be really overwhelming for me to deal with crowds when we attended. It's a personal preference. It is possible to be very involved in a large church, as it is a smaller one. It's easier to "slip through the cracks" in a larger one, but also easier to find the services/support you are looking for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I can't believe I am saying this, but I am being drawn to join a mega church in my community. I have never been much for mega churches, but am starting to believe that perhaps it is a good place for me and my kiddos. I am curious what those who have been involved with a mega church and then left might say the drawbacks are, aside from the obvious ones (size, anonimity, $ spent on advertising, etc.) The big draw for me is what seems to be a community of believers who are committed to recovery issues and connecting with one another regularly. It's almost like there one has permission to love lavishly, to share generously and to be transparent. I am having a hard time explaining this....but, any input is appreciated. It isn't the size of the church that is an issue; it's whether it's seeker-friendly or not. I've attended three or four churches over the years that would fit in the mega-church category because of their size, but only one was seeker-friendly. Seeker-friendly churches <warning: blanket statements ahead> tend to preach only warm-fuzzy messages, never anything really deep; they tend not talk about the need to repent, or use the word "sin;" they tend to target specific age groups, usually younger ages, with their music, their dress codes (you know, what the pastor wear], and so on. Their doctrine is not usually *wrong*, though, so attending for a couple of years isn't necessarily a bad thing. There's just no depth for spiritual growth in the long run, and that's what God wants for us: to become deeper and wider in Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violingirl Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I think it depends on the church. We belong to a megachurch and we've been there since it was 300 members. There is serious depth in the preaching, there is a firm discipleship program in place for both new and experienced believers, and we have a lot of opportunity for small Bible studies and even just "get to know you" groups like the playgroup that meets monthly at the park. As far as getting lost in the shuffle, you get out of it what you put in. If you are very involved, volunteer to help and get to know people through a ministry or two it is very easy to get to know people. If you just show up for the sunday service, don't talk to anyone and then head home you won't know anyone. It sounds like they provide a ministry that would really support you and you will get to know people within that ministry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I've never been to one, but I've often heard they are gimmicky. Kind of more interested in the number of bodies warming the pews than the actual bodies. I've been to both parishes of all sizes. I've always felt the bigger they are (think cathedral) the less "homey." I'd much rather a small church. But the drawback there can be a lack of opportunities for classes and the like. I suppose it is going to ultimately depend on what you are looking for in a church. Are you going for a deep spiritual reason or for a more social reason? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I grew up in a large (1200 members) church and now we are part of a very small (80 member) church. These are just my thoughts from my personal experience.... 1) We love our small church because every one knows us and our children by name 2) Very much a family atmosphere 3) You can tend to get over-worked in a small church 4) As was mentioned before, it's easy to get lost in a large church. We'd been gone from our old church for months and no one knew we had left. Although for some, anonymity is something they desire - they can go to church, but don't have to be accountable. 5) Emphasis in our large church was very much on programs and not so much on discipleship 6) Large churches tend to pigeon-hole people according to demographics. We were in a Sunday School Class/small group with people basically our age and life stage. At our church now, there is one adult Sunday School class, and one kids' class. We are friends with people of all ages and life-stages. Obviously I am biased toward our small church.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We visited a megachurch once--it wasn't feasible for us to attend due to distance so I'm not sure whether we would have seriously considered it. One of the drawbacks, for *me*, was that it was so big people were divided into two auditoriums. You know, A-K in the west auditorium, and L-Z in the east. The pastor would preach in one (switching each week) and there was a video feed to the other. For me it felt too much like watching tv instead of being at church. Each auditorium had its own worship band, though, so that was nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in PA Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We belong to a mega-church and are in the process of finding another church home. This has been a tough decision for us. Here are the positives. We really like the music and the community focus the church has both locally and globally. It has also provided opportunities for our teens to participate in some life changing mission trips. Now for the negatives. The preaching just scratches the surface. Most of the sermons are taken from those preached at Willow Creek or Saddleback. They tend to preach similar topics every year. Aslo we just feel lost. We are encouraged to be part of a "life group" but we have tried several and never clicked with the people in the groups. I volunteered with the high school ministry but never felt connected to anyone. Also the high school ministry attracts a lot of kids (many from non-church backgrounds) but there never seems to be life change. This can be an issue if you are concerned about the influences on your children. I knew this going in as this is a very seeker friendly church. I knew that I was just planting seeds. For us it all boiled down to who would we call if we needed pastoral help? I wouldn't even know where to start. The only pastor at the church who knew my name was the high school pastor. We have come to realize that a "church family" means so much to us. That's what we are now searching for in our community. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We belong to a megachurch. We've been there a year. Our teenager understands the sermons; they are clear and topical. The staff members are wonderful and very accessible. The youth pastors have been so helpful and interested in our son, who has Asperger's and has needed help getting plugged in. The more relaxed setting is easier for ds. There are a lot of opportunities to serve, which is also a great way to get to know people. There are neighborhood pastors and neighborhood groups, so although we don't know the senior pastor, we do have a pastor who knows our family well. On the downside, yes, although the sermons don't shy away from difficult truths, they are topical as opposed to exegetical. You need to be willing to be patient with seekers and new believers, who may not dress, speak, or act the way you think "Christians" should. Doesn't bother me; I'm glad they feel welcome and enjoy diversity; but your kids will likely be around more kids from non-Christian or brand-new-Christian families than at a small church. So if you're someone whose kids have mainly been around strong Christians who agree with you on most cultural/moral issues, that's something to keep in mind. We've often reminded ds of this when he complains about someone in his Bible study group. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I've skimmed through the other responses, and I just have to say that every mega church is different. They are not all seeker-friendly. They do not all teach soft topical messages. I was at a mega church for 10 years, though it wasn't one when I started attending. In my experience, I knew the pastor and leadership quite well because I had been going so long. Also, they had a large pastoral staff, so even if someone didn't know the head pastor, s/he could have a relationship with one of the associates. That being said, it was very anonymous feeling at times. People did tend to sit in the same area every week, so they could at least get to know the people around them, but it's definitely not the same as being in a small church. A big advantage is how many different opportunities there are. But that can be a disadvantage as well, because you can become so involved in church activities (church soccer teams, mid-week Bible studies, church scuba club church quilting club) that there is no time to get to be a part of your community. You can live in a little Christian bubble. Becoming involved is the best way to meet people, but you have to be careful to find a balance to not get so involved that your life revolves around the church. You shouldn't go or not go just because it's a mega church. If it's the right place for you, even if it's just for a season, then go for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I've never been to one, but I've often heard they are gimmicky. Kind of more interested in the number of bodies warming the pews than the actual bodies. As I said, it's the seeker-friendly mentality, not the mega-church size. I've been to both parishes of all sizes. I've always felt the bigger they are (think cathedral) the less "homey." I'd much rather a small church. But the drawback there can be a lack of opportunities for classes and the like. My current parish (actually, the only *parish* I've been part of since, oh, 1969) is home to over 4000 families, and so it easily meets the size criteria of mega-church (e.g., 2000 attendees). The church I began attending in 1974 was over 3000 people on a Sunday, but it was definitely not seeker-friendly. We moved to a smaller one after that--only 1500, lol--and that wasn't seeker-friendly either. Around 1999 we began attending a seeker-friendly mega-church, which sucked us in for 4 years. The seeker-friendly mentality shows up in smaller churches, too. We left a small, itty-bitty church when the original pastor passed away and the new pastor came in with his seeker-friendly plans. We stayed less than three months. Anyway, that's why I'm saying that mega-church isn't the thing to watch out for; it's the seeker-friendly stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 All this input is much appreciated and taken to heart. What is ironic is that we have been part of a smaller, doctrinally deep church for over five years, and the pastor and leadership team cares not to know nor care for us. It does not feel like a family at all, and there are virutally no opportunities for service. So I have found that, sadly, correct doctrine does not necessitate right practice. Which is why I am looking to other churches for opportunity to serve and be known and cared for. Will be interesting to see where we end up, but for now the mega church is looking very homey.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Dove Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 Before I met my husband, my son and I were members of a mega church. I liked it at first, but they grew so much so quickly that they required all members with children to volunteer regularly. I did volunteer in the nursery a few times, but it was getting to a point where I didn't think I could handle it, especially since I had started a new job and volunteer times were so sporadic. I talked to the person in charge, and she was upset and told me that if I couldn't volunteer I couldn't leave my son in the nursery during service. Children (babies especially) weren't "allowed" in the sanctuary because they tape the service and it was too distracting. They had a lot of wonderful programs, and there were many opportunities to mingle and fellowship. I just couldn't handle the requirements of being a member. That was many years ago and maybe things have changed. I really like my small parish (I converted to Catholicism recently) and wouldn't leave it for the world!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We have recently moved from a small church to a mega-church. At first the change was hard on all of us. Now, we love it! We love that we can serve without feeling like we have to do it all. We love all of the activities for the children and for us! At our church, they focus on teaching the scriptures- even the hard to hear stuff - but on loving the person. They are not afraid to say if something is a sin but they are very careful to make sure that the person feels God's love! Recently we had a member run-off with another man- it was very public. I was so amazed by the love they showed both parties involved- the husband who got left and the wife who did the leaving. The wife has not returned but I know of several times the church has made it a point to reach out to her and try to bring her back to God. We made it a point to get involved with a Sunday school class and a small group- that helped with the feeling of getting lost and helped us form relationships. The girls had a hard time at first with the larger class sizes but now they love going! Our pastors make it a point to get to know people. We have a 5 pastors and they divide the responsibilities between them. I think all of them know us by name/family and a little bit about us. Hope that helps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KLinWI Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 I've enjoyed visits to mega-churches. But I share KrissiK's bias. I'll also add that I have discovered the beauty and nurture of liturgy late in life and "mega-" isn't conducive to that. Even in a large liturgical church, you just wouldn't apply that adjective. Cathedral, maybe. But not mega- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We are members of a mega church with about 8000 members. We REALLY like it. The key is making sure you get involved in the Life Group/Community Group/Mini Church or whatever they call their small group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyhappypeople Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 We are members of a mega church with about 8000 members. We REALLY like it. The key is making sure you get involved in the Life Group/Community Group/Mini Church or whatever they call their small group. :iagree: When I attended a mega-church years ago (pre-marriage) I found my "church-within-a-church" in our Sunday school class. Overall, it was a spiritually enriching, positive experience. It seems unfair to make broad negative statements about mega-churches because each one is different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 My 15 year old just got back from Beach Week with her mega-church. She was discussing Jesus with her non-Christian sister. She started with Jesus was born, lived for 33 years, died and then rose from the dead. Her older sister is saying, "Oh yeah, and then what happened?" She (the 15 year old) didn't make it very far before she said, "I don't know. They really never explained that part very well." I would say that she is getting a fairly soft, user friendly introduction to Christianity which is fine by me being that I am not Christian. Since I am not Christian, I find that the church is a perfect fit for my dd and our family. She is not disadvantaged by the fact that her family does not attend, all of her friends go there, she is actively involved in church activities (and therefore less likely to be involved in groups and activities that may lead to more trouble), the church does not place a great emphasis on converting, proselytizing, or requiring a greater commitment than she is able to make at this time. I feel that it is a safe place for her to explore her faith. Of course, I realize that I am coming at this from a totally different place than most people who would be asking about a mega-church but I thought that as an outsider my POV may be helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catalinakel Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Boy oh boy, you girls can always be counted on to give me great input! All of it is really helpful. I am not afraid of us getting squishy about our faith....I have been an adult believer for 29 years and know my Bible and my doctrine very well. I will supplement what we get at services when necessary. Getting involved with people in smaller groups and serving is the whole point of us looking elsewhere, so not concerned about that. The church has been around for many years and seems to not be swayed by fads, at least from what I can tell. So good to know I can come here for outside input. Thank you Susan for this space! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 As far as getting lost in the shuffle, you get out of it what you put in. If you are very involved, volunteer to help and get to know people through a ministry or two it is very easy to get to know people. If you just show up for the sunday service, don't talk to anyone and then head home you won't know anyone :iagree: - We go to a mega church (although it wasn't always) of about 4000 people. I grew up in a very small church and going here after I was married was very difficult for me. However, I found that the more involved I got, the easier it was to feel part of a community. Specifically for me, volunteering to teach Early Childhood classes. With the littler kids, their parents drop them off and pick them up, often with siblings in tow - so you start getting to know whole families. It has taken effort from me, even though my husband's family has gone here for over twenty years, but it's totally worth it for the sound preaching and service opportunities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 the good? It's exciting. You get there and the music and the people, the energy, you can't help but feel excited. So every Sunday is like something special. People are young, things are fresh. The bad. It's a lot of work. Meaning, if you want to stay connected, you're going to have to put in a lot of hours volunteering. It's like an ad company. How can we reframe this to give it a new twist? What fresh new way can we.... The one I went to-communion was not the center of worship. That sacred meal was what seemed to be an afterthought. Worship is very self focused. What can God do for me. Whatever Hillsongs newest and best was. What ultimately turned us off was that it was a business. That's a LOT of overhead and the there's always something new to make sure the the wheel keeps spinning. After years we left, still feeling like we'd escaped from the Borg. Here's the thing, if that's where you feel led, go. You don't have to stay, you know? It can be for a season, it can be the rest of your life. It's your journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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