How to teach kids to see the vastness of opportunity?

[elegantlion]

That's probably not worded correctly, but I'm tired. Like everyone else;), my son has a unique personality and interests. I truly believe there is something special out there for him, career wise. However, we live in a average mid-western area. Dh is a self-employed carpenter, our friends and family are mostly working class decent people. Nothing wrong with that, yet I want ds to understand there are more options available to him. Some of our family are highly involved in their careers and are achieving/have achieved the success they sought.

 

At 13 he has no clue what he wants to do, which is fine, and I'm trying to keep his horizons expanded so he can chose a career path he wants. I never want him to feel like he has to settle for something less just because he doesn't see someone doing that career in our area.

 

We read a lot of books on unique careers, we talk about the future of jobs, jobs that haven't even been invented yet. We talk about what I believe are his unique giftings. We don't have a lot of money or connections to plug him into mentorships. I don't see the money situation changing before college.

What else can I do to make sure he keeps his thinking expanded?

[Brenda in MA]

Paula,

 

You might look and see if a university near you has summer programs for middle/high school kids. There are several such programs around us that allow kids to explore various areas of interest through a 1 or 2-week day camp. These courses can be pricey, but most of them advertise that they offer scholarships to folks with financial need.

 

Brenda

[Michelle in AL]

13 is still very young. Both my girls have found what they think is their path, but that might very well change. We live in an area of very little inspiration too, a beach community, where the jobs are hospitality related, construction, fishing etc. Most people around here try their best not to work.

 

Oldest decided at 16 that she wanted to go into aeronautical engineering. Her dad and I and most of our family are in the health care field. I do have a brother that has his pilot's lic and is now in school for air traffic control that was somewhat of an influence.

 

Younger dd wants to journalism and be involved in some type of missionary, humanitarian type career.

 

They both came to this on their own. Both have made their decisions based on their natural talents. I think kids just come to it on their own with little prompting.

[elegantlion]

Paula,

 

You might look and see if a university near you has summer programs for middle/high school kids. There are several such programs around us that allow kids to explore various areas of interest through a 1 or 2-week day camp. These courses can be pricey, but most of them advertise that they offer scholarships to folks with financial need.

 

Brenda

 

I did look at the two local colleges in reasonable driving range. One only offers sports camps (not for ds), the other has only a few art community classes. Maybe they'll post more for later this summer. :glare:

 

13 is still very young. Both my girls have found what they think is their path, but that might very well change. We live in an area of very little inspiration too, a beach community, where the jobs are hospitality related, construction, fishing etc. Most people around here try their best not to work.

 

Oldest decided at 16 that she wanted to go into aeronautical engineering. Her dad and I and most of our family are in the health care field. I do have a brother that has his pilot's lic and is now in school for air traffic control that was somewhat of an influence.

 

Younger dd wants to journalism and be involved in some type of missionary, humanitarian type career.

 

They both came to this on their own. Both have made their decisions based on their natural talents. I think kids just come to it on their own with little prompting.

 

I wanted to be an archaeologist, particularly an Egyptologist. No one in my life took me seriously and I gave up before I even tried. Way before the internet otherwise things might have been different. Anyway, that's my regrets.

 

I'm not so much concerned about him making a choice about anything, but I do want him to understand his options (which are limitless at this point), and feel like he has a fair shot if he applies himself.

 

So do I continue to have him read biographies of successful people? Look into the origins of companies likes Tom's Shoes and Saddleback Leather? Write letters to his favorite directors?

[Create Your Ritual]

Not that my dc are very old (8 & 9), but I have noted that they have certain interests, so we have just tried to cater to them with after school activities.

 

We happen to live in a pretty remote area as well, on a wheat and cattle farm. They both love working here with the farm equipment and the animals, but we definitely would like to broaden their horizons. I plan to have them 'temp' or 'volunteer' at several businesses in the area. One for the local chiropractor, answering phones, scheduling, filing, etc. The other for the vets office working with the animals, doing anything else they might like. There is also a great doctor that delivered them that I would like them to follow around one summer and work with.

 

I don't always think it's essential to give them just skills in what they might like to do in the future, but also general public skills. I started working in Idaho when I was 13 as a waitress and learned a lot about how to work with people .. difficult people. ;-) How to multi task, be reliable, responsible and get the job done. They may not get the same amount of life experience that I got, but I think any gives them a step in the right direction.

 

I personally think I have a future naturopathic physician and or writer on my hands with dd and maybe an engineer with ds. They just seem to exhibit strengths and interests in those areas, so we cater to them. We don't have a huge surplus of people in this area that are pushing themselves to excellence, so I have to just try to encourage them to see learning as their 'job' for now. I am hoping by giving them a step into some of these other worlds they will have a better idea of the direction they would like to go.. thereby saving themselves a lot of time and wasted money down the road in education.

[Rosie_0801]

Have you ever read through job adverts for the UN agencies? That's what has stretched my imagination the furthest.

 

Rosie

[Sevilla]

Is he exposed to people from different backgrounds/training in community groups/church/scouts/etc...? I think that's important. Of the people I know who have broken into something 'more' than what they grew up around, it was always due to the outside influence of someone.

 

Ex. My mom came from a line of hard-working people who graduated high school and went to work for the phone company or in a factory. No one went to college. But in her senior year of high school she had a boyfriend for a few months who came from a college-minded family and kept telling her "You've got to go to college. What do you mean you're not planning to go?" and helped her with applications and the process. She got into several colleges, got scholarships, met her husband while there, and earned both a bachelor's and master's degree. None of that would have happened if it weren't for the influence of some peers who persuaded her to try a different path (she was the first person from her family to graduate from college, but all of her children have gone and graduated from university).

[1Togo]

Take a look at the summer offerings of private schools in your area. Last year, one our local private schools offered summer classes for high school students in philosophy, photography, urban renewal and historical study, law and government, economic development, etc. These classes were taught by professionals with the intent of giving high school students exposure to a specific field. Also, area attractions like zoos and museums usually have volunteer programs for students. The zoo in the city near us has wonderful volunteer programs for junior high and high school students.

 

A friend and I talked recently about the issue of helping children decide on careers and getting a vision for their lives. Even with volunteer work and/or hobbies, students often get to college and have no idea what they want to do. They choose a major and find out that they don't like the coursework, or they get to the last year of school, complete an internship, and at that point, find out they don't like the actual work. I recently talked with a young woman, working at a rental car agency, who completed a pre-law track only to discover during her internship that law was not the field for her. Thus, her stint working at Enterprise while she saves money to return to school for another field. She wished her internship had been offered after the first year of basic courses.

 

I do believe that it's much easier for families with professional networks and ample resources to help their children see the vastness of opportunity, so I am interested in the ways that ordinary families with modest incomes expand their children's world.

Edited April 27, 2011 by 1Togo

[Jane in NC]

Paula,

 

Your post resonates with me. I was born seeing a world of possibility, but I grew up in a place where other people did not. It almost seemed that there was an attitude of "Why bother?" As I have gotten older, I realize that many of those who chose what I will call "safe" paths ( for example, jobs that weren't very interesting but paid the mortgage) are people who are content with their lives but they will never understand my need for more than the confines of the town in which I grew up or the town in which I live now.

 

I believe that (almost) everyone is interesting. People just have to be asked the right questions to reveal what lies within. As an extrovert, I have never had a problem introducing myself. In fact, I have embarrassed my son on many occasions with my conversations on the street, at the airport, in a museum--you name it. Many of the people in one's own community have interesting stories to tell. They just need encouragement to tell them.

 

My son has adopted a retired university professor as his "grandfather". This is a man who is very bright, admired by peers, has traveled the world. And he loves my kid as one of his own grandchildren. It is really cool. This man and his wife not only take my son's interests seriously, they encourage him and help him network. They talk about books together and the state of the world. This is not just a matter of finding a mentor. This is about finding a community.

 

Does your son find it easy to be speak to adults? Librarians have played a huge role in my son's life. They recognized his love his reading, his earlier love of insects, his passions about history. Certain librarians would see him as a kindred spirit and would pull him aside to recommend books.

 

I am not sure how near the closest orchestra is to you. But most orchestras, chamber ensembles, etc. have a free family concert annually. Attend it. The museum or aquarium or gardens near you may have a free day once a year or once a month. Go and strike up conversations with docents. You might find someone who has lived in France or India, someone who knows about botany, someone who has a sailboat. And here is where I am probably considered loopy by some: I trust people. I grew up in a chatty family, but my parents and sibling are less trustworthy of humanity than I am. I would not send my kid off with a stranger but I would check opportunities for him to connect with interesting people.

 

Of course, there is always the old standby, National Geographic. I read the magazine and still daydream about travels.

 

By the way, I wonder if you have looked at the Shovel Bums website for yourself? With the anniversary of the American Civil War, money is going into digs on sites across the US. It is not Egypt, but perhaps you could be a volunteer for a day or a week at a site.

[Nan in Mass]

At that age, mine didn't want to think about being grownup, having to support themselves, and being away from the family. We didn't have much luck with anything that had to do with careers. They firmly stuck their heads back under the covers (see Asta's recent post GRIN) and refused to come out. We spent a lot of time pointing out that my family is still living together as a family - separate houses, most of the time, but still functioning as a family unit, involved in each other's daily lives, and that we hope they will do the same. In other words, nobody has to leave. Then we tried to paint adulthood as interesting, not just having to be responsible for your own cooking and laundry and bills. We tried to make sure they were competent in the more interesting chores, like repairing things in order to try to help with the fear side of things. At 13, mine were still sort of at the "I'm going to be a fireman" stage. They weren't ready to think about the realities of a career. The realities just drove them farther under the covers. Meanwhile, instead of talking frequently about college and careers, we tried to concentrate on hobbies, ways to help people, and travel, and on deciding what they were good at and what they were bad at or hated. The travel had an emphasis of how people live in other places and what exciting things they do there. The library has shelves of books on hobbies. If you run down the shelves, it might give your son ideas of things to try. Mentors are important. They don't need to be expensive. If you have a child who is interested in electronics, you can see if you have a ham radio club in your area. If you have a child who likes games, try to see who is playing chess or dungeons and dragons or warhammer. If you have a child who likes to read, see if your library has a book club. If he likes to explore outdoors, you can look for a Sierra club or an App. Mt. club or whatever your local equivalent is. If he likes music, you can look at the local orchestras and bands (bagpipes?) and choruses. In other words, see what adult clubs are around that do things that your child likes. Adult clubs in areas where there aren't many people sometimes are desperate enough to welcome a teenager and cherish them. Don't overlook internet mentors, either. My youngest has aquired a number of these. They do everything from helping him figure out his math to helping him figure out what is wrong with the latest thing he has tried to build. There are forums for everything now-a-days.

 

With this appoach, our children do seem to avoid the "failure to launch" scenario. It has a major flaw, though, and that is that without the link between school and career, it is hard to get them to concentrate on studying. When the middle one was about 15 and refusing to think about college, the oldest was graduating and refusing to go. In desperation I hunted around and found a very attractive adventure college for the 15yo. It was a two year college in the west that had a majors like whitewater rafting guide and horseback guide. It had classes in things like emergency medicine and blacksmithing, as well as more normal things like math and composition. It was eye-opening for both of us. My son is 20 now and in college and he still occasionally mentions that afternoon. He reminded me about it yesterday, in fact, when we were talking about what classes he is signed up for next fall. It is an equally attractive list: intermediate sailing, traditional sail technologies (they begin by making a ditty bag and go on to rigging, etc.), welding, terrestial navigation, ship stability, and ship handling. He has already gotten the courses like humanities, physics, composition, and calculus out of the way and now gets to take the more applicable ones. Anyway, when you get to the stage where your son is able to think about college without completely freaking out at the idea of going away, rather than look at colleges, you can look at upper level classes. (Don't look at the lower level ones - they sound just like high school.) Many college course catalogues are online now. Don't forget to look at the phys ed department, too. Mine thought college might be ok if he could take fencing. GRIN This is most definately cheating, but we found that it works. Then when they are older (like 16), you can start taking a look at the realities of certain careers and certain courses of study. By then, hopefully, they will be taking it for granted that they will go to college. Don't forget to point out that it is ok to go to college and then become a carpenter. Lots of people in my town do that. And don't forget to point out that many careers are very different from studying to follow that career, and that you just have to suffer through the course of study as a means to an end. That is where that fencing class still comes in handy GRIN.

 

HTH

-Nan

[Nan in Mass]

Trusting people and talking to people. I am bad at this, but my father has taught my children, all my children, to do this. When he is standing in line at the post office, he chats. He finds out what the person next to him is shipping and what that business is like. One of my sons is usually holding my father's box and gets to listen. The result is that my children have learned to do this for themselves and view people as much more interesting than I ever did. It turns out that people love to talk about their business and their hobbies, especially to teenagers. My children have learned so much by doing this.

 

We also trusted our children to strangers. We picked group situations and if it was a really unknown group, told them to stay with the group and not go off alone with anyone, and told them trust their instincts and not do anything that made them feel uncomfortable. We have always emphasized thinking for themselves and being respectful of adults but not necessarily trusting them to have good judgement or be perfect. We have always made sure that our children looked cared for and supervised. Those four things - being r have kept my children safe in some pretty wild situations - being respectful, thinking for themselves, looking like they have someone taking care of them, and the buddy system. But you probably already know those things. Jane has a good point, though - sometimes we forget to tell our teenagers that it is now ok to talk to strangers, just like it is now ok to cross the street without an adult.

 

Jane's post struck a chord with me, especially. Part of what I did wrong with my oldest was not expand his world as he reached the teen years. It was my natural distrust and shyness that kept me from doing that. We were careful not to do that with the younger two.

 

-Nan

Edited April 27, 2011 by Nan in Mass

[elegantlion]

Thank you, all. I'm letting them absorb as the coffee seeps in.

 

Talking with people is my Achilles' Heel, as I am extremely introverted. Ds doesn't talk much either.

 

I've engaged my parents to help out a little, more than I thought as I read through your responses. My dad is a HAM, so ds is doing some electronics with him this summer. My mom talks to everyone, ds adores her. They also go out to eat at one restaurant a lot. It's a buffet I jokingly call their country club. They know everyone there and many of the waitresses are immigrants from other countries. Many are here going to university.

 

He's not routinely exposed to different cultures. I've been expanding my horizons and watching a lot of foreign films, so I add those to our family viewing when appropriate. We've been watching travel films and my latest re-subscription to Nat Geo just arrived yesterday.

 

There are no private schools in our town and only one in the next closest town. They do not offer summer classes. It sounds isolating, but there is so much more opportunity than where we used to live. Most of the culture is about an hour away, too far for us to drive on a regular basis.

 

Job shadowing is a good idea. He does occasionally go with dh (carpenter).

 

If he choses to live near us as an adult I'd be fine with that. He's welcome to live at home and go to college. I know we'd prefer that for the first two years anyway.

 

Thanks again. I'm going back to read over these again.

[laughing lioness]

Boy Scouts - great programs and opportunities

Lego League -same.

Drama- create your own club. Learn as you go. Drama is very forgiven, great people skills, etc.

 

National History Day- can do on your own, national competition

Poetry Outloud - can do on your own. National competition

TeenPact -GREAT field trip, FANTASTIC alumni events, GREAT opporutnity for leaderhsip training.

Patrick Henry/S.Baptist Sem- summer camps -leadership, etc.

Leadership Institue - we got free scholarships for our invovlement in TeenPact. Ask for one.

Intnational travel - there are inexpensive programs for kids. You have to search. Immersion villages. The one is concordia is not cheap but there are scholarships.

ASL- great way to meet a different community, learn a 2nd langauge. Start with books, find a interp prorgram at a school/church.

Campaign- my kids have campaigned and as a result my 20 was offered 3 trips to GA last year to campaign during the course of the summer.

Geo caching

 

I'd written a whole long other thing but it got deleated. Sorry this is just a list of stuff. Gotta make breakfast for my man ; )

Edited April 27, 2011 by laughing lioness

[Tammyla]

Paula, I'm struggling with this here. Good thread.:lurk5:

[Amy in TX]

I gave my daughter the College Board's Book of Majors:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Majors-2011-College-Board/dp/0874479045/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1303914422&sr=1-1

 

It lists most or all of the majors offered in American colleges, with information about aptitudes, classes, potential careers, and more for each major. It's great for getting ideas, and opened my eyes to many possibilities I didn't know existed.

[MIch elle]

Ask everyone you know what they do for work then share that info as a family. If your dc finds someone's line of work interesting then research more about it via internet or other means. If your dc is really interested in that person's line of work, ask that person/s if your dc can shadow them for a couple of hours at work.

 

Read the help wanted ads in the largest Sunday newspaper in your area. Many of the want ads have a lot of info in them about the advertised job. Cut out ones that interest your dc and create a book/binder of job ads. Research more about the jobs that interest your dc from these ads.

 

Many universities/high schools have career fairs specifically for high school students. Contact the schools in your area to find out when and where they are held.

 

We've done all of the above starting in freshman/soph. year of high school. It's worked well so far. :001_smile:

[elegantlion]

Thanks again, everyone. I'm taking notes through my Benadryl induced haze.

[Create Your Ritual]

Paula... I am not sure if this applies, but I just finished reading 'Dove' by Robin Lee Graham. Back in the 60s when we was 16 he sailed around the world alone. It took him 5 years, but he hits every culture and continent you can think of along the way. The 'Dove' version is for adults, with references to meeting his future wife, sailing with her a bit, etc..

 

I picked up 'The Boy Who Sailed Around the World Alone' recently which is the teens version of the same trip by Robin. Can I just say I absolutely adored reading Dove. It showed him going through all the stages a young teen does, only under much more perilous circumstances. Figuring out what he wants to do with himself, fighting loneliness, learning to work & converse with cultures all over the world, learning to survive! I plan to read it to the kids this summer and bring in geography elements, touching on the countries he visits.

 

I didn't happen to mention that I grew up sailing, and my husband also has a strong passion for it. We have a very small catamaran sailing boat we would like to teach the kids in, and so this ties into it. All that said, I think there are a lot of life lessons in reading his story.

[Kathy in Richmond]

What opened my kids' eyes to the worlds of opportunity out there was to attend out-of-area academic camps in their areas of interest. Meeting kids and teachers from all over the US, foreign countries, & from all types of schools and backgrounds really gave them a much better sense of what they could do in college and in life. :)

[Lori D.]

Okay, this is the only "not free" option, BUT... I have found that spending time with other "go-getter" teens has broadened our DSs horizons of activities they might find interesting, or career ideas they had not thought of. One DS started drumming because his good friend is leading the Youth Worship Band, and DS decided he was interested in an instrument. The other DS is actually traveling for 8 weeks this summer with Worldview Academy as a staffer, because he loved going to the WVA summer camps in high school. Both DSs have attended JSA events, Youth & Gov't, public school sports team, etc. and have developed interests and see possible careers as a result.

 

Below are more ideas -- all FREE, or low cost. BEST of luck! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

 

What about checking out some FREE career interest websites? Career Zone is a good one, as it allows you to figure out the ways you like to work, and then match up loads of careers that fit that model -- and then has resources for further researching careers you findinteresting.

 

 

Could you gather a group of homeschool high schoolers once a month and inviting in a volunteer guest speaker from the community? (Honestly, I have become very bold about this sort of thing -- really, the "worst" that can happen is that they'll just say "no thanks", or "I need you to pay me", and then I say, "thanks for your time!")

 

 

What about setting up a "shadow" program, in which a student "shadows" (follows a professional around on their job for a morning, or for the day) a different volunteer professional once a month?

 

 

How about inviting an international college student over to family dinner every so often, and just talk and here about their plans and experiences?

 

 

What about arranging high school level field trips that are career-based? For several years I coordinated 5-6 field trips a year for older students and adults; some of the best ones were tours of various departments at the local university. These were all FREE, and many of the departments were so thrilled that we had approached them AND that all the students and parents were so interested and enthusiastic about what they had to show us.

 

What about tours to different places of business, such as a big local business firm -- maybe with international links; architecture, engineering, or graphic design firm; City Planning Dept.; local radio and TV stations; etc. (On a personal note: I am a big proponent of field trips for older students for getting interested in something they would have otherwise passed over, not really having the ability to understand what the activity is all about. For example, younger DS is interested in glassblowing as his fine arts credit next year after our family did a tour of the studio earlier this year.)

 

 

If you feel *really* ambitious ;), hold a "careers day" event for homeschoolers. Once a year, I am the co-organizer of a big, all-day "Careers-Day-Plus" event that our homeschool group puts on for ALL gr. 6-12 homeschoolers and their parents in the area. We invite people to volunteer to come speak for about 40 minutes, and have several speakers at each timeslot so students can choose which speaker to go to. We usually have a "college track", with all the speakers in that one room as college reps, or all speaking on college prep topics. The other speakers are from organizations that the student could get involved with, from various career fields, etc. Email me if you'd like me to send you a pdf version of the brochure and schedule of this past year's event, and I can give you some tips on how we organize our event.

[laughing lioness]

Still running but 2 books came to mind: The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Llewwllyn . She runs camps, now. Still an unschooling approach but she is a Holt knock off and lives a philosophy.

And, the New Global Student. My review here.

[8filltheheart]

What opened my kids' eyes to the worlds of opportunity out there was to attend out-of-area academic camps in their areas of interest. Meeting kids and teachers from all over the US, foreign countries, & from all types of schools and backgrounds really gave them a much better sense of what they could do in college and in life. :)

 

:iagree: as well as being around other kids that have wonderful goals.

 

Magazines like Imagine http://cty.jhu.edu/imagine/ that illustrate just what amazing things young people achieve can be inspiring. Finding their own passion with a little bit of guidance for how to seek opportunities can open the doors to a whole different world.

 

My ds has spent hrs searching the Cogito website looking for different things that he finds fascinating. Now he is so enthused about his goals and dreams that the universe (literally, b/c he loves astronomy :lol:) is his limit.

 

OTOH, some personalities are just not like that and nothing we as parents can do will change the laid back mellow individual into a driven seeker. That kind of initiative really has to come from within. (That is when mom really wants to be involved in the firecracker business!! :tongue_smilie:)

Edited April 27, 2011 by 8FillTheHeart

[elegantlion]

Thank you all again. I just set ds up to work through the Khan Academy badge program. . Not that that's totally relevant, but in a way it is. It's a modern way to technology and education together, from someone who has used his knowledge and connections. *sigh* Yes, still on Benadryl....:lol:

 

 

Anyway, I'm off to read again and look at some books. Now that I have a decent handle of the academics for next year, I need to use my research powers to find some opportunities for him. This gives me some places to start.