momofkhm Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 DH wants the kids to do more projects (and papers too, but for this post, projects). DS needs to do 2 projects for his co-op classes. One is like a science fair project - he's going to do the mentos thing. Does it only work with diet coke? We also have reg coke, sprite and sprite zero. The other one I don't remember right now. But this one is due April 28. Would it be mean to leave ds and dh home in couple weeks on Saturday? (while I take the girls to the closest outlet mall for middle girl's birthday) As I leave I'll tell dh, "Oh, you and ds need to do his science fair project. Here's what he's doing. Here are all the supplies. There's the project board for display. We'll see you in a around dinner time." DH majored in math and physics so he won't have an issue with the science or the project board. Would that be mean? Cause you know he wants them to do more projects. I'm just allowing him to help with those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 How would that be mean? Your DH wants more projects done. Your DS has a project he needs help with. You are providing opportunity for DH to be involved in the schooling, have one-on-one time with DS, and oversee a project, while you have Girl Time with your DDs. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Am I missing something??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma aimee Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 DH wants the kids to do more projects (and papers too, but for this post, projects). DS needs to do 2 projects for his co-op classes. One is like a science fair project - he's going to do the mentos thing. Does it only work with diet coke? We also have reg coke, sprite and sprite zero. The other one I don't remember right now. But this one is due April 28. Would it be mean to leave ds and dh home in couple weeks on Saturday? (while I take the girls to the closest outlet mall for middle girl's birthday) As I leave I'll tell dh, "Oh, you and ds need to do his science fair project. Here's what he's doing. Here are all the supplies. There's the project board for display. We'll see you in a around dinner time." DH majored in math and physics so he won't have an issue with the science or the project board. Would that be mean? Cause you know he wants them to do more projects. I'm just allowing him to help with those. do it!!! do it!!! do it!!!! i do not see "mean" at all -- you can also say "DS can do a better job and get more out of it one-on-one -- i'll take the girls off your hands ...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Would it be mean to leave ds and dh home in couple weeks on Saturday? (while I take the girls to the closest outlet mall for middle girl's birthday) As I leave I'll tell dh, "Oh, you and ds need to do his science fair project. Here's what he's doing. Here are all the supplies. There's the project board for display. We'll see you in a around dinner time." DH majored in math and physics so he won't have an issue with the science or the project board. Would that be mean? Cause you know he wants them to do more projects. I'm just allowing him to help with those. I don't think it's mean, but I think it's a bit manipulative to not tell him until you're on your way out the door. What if dh had other plans for his day with ds, because he didn't know about your plans for him? (I assume he would know that he's in charge of ds for the day.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle in AL Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I think it's very appropriate, but I would do it differently. I would say. "My week is really busy with __________, ______________ and ____________. Would you be able to help son with his project on ____________ while I take the girls shopping?" And then I'd let him know how much helping son means to you and the son and that you really appreciate him doing this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I think it's very appropriate, but I would do it differently. I would say. "My week is really busy with __________, ______________ and ____________. Would you be able to help son with his project on ____________ while I take the girls shopping?" And then I'd let him know how much helping son means to you and the son and that you really appreciate him doing this. :iagree: My dh loves to do projects with the girls, but he doesn't appreciate being "assigned" tasks at the last minute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Do it! Nope, not mean at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I would ask him to help with the project, but I would not hand it to him on the way out the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I can't imagine why it would be mean to leave a dh and a ds home alone. For the mentor project- diet works tons better!! Buy several off brand bottles, as one will not be enough fun. There is a small plastic contraption you can buy to attach to the bottle. You pre- fill it with Mentos and then back away and pull the string. It's worth the couple of dollars!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I don't think it's mean, but I think it's a bit manipulative to not tell him until you're on your way out the door. What if dh had other plans for his day with ds, because he didn't know about your plans for him? (I assume he would know that he's in charge of ds for the day.) This. I'd talk to him about it ahead of time and put it in plans. Not just dump it in his lap at the last moment. If he's going to be helping with the project, he should be in on ALL aspects of it. Or your son should be talking to him about what HE wants to do. Not what you want your husband to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 I can't imagine why it would be mean to leave a dh and a ds home alone. For the mentor project- diet works tons better!! Buy several off brand bottles, as one will not be enough fun. There is a small plastic contraption you can buy to attach to the bottle. You pre- fill it with Mentos and then back away and pull the string. It's worth the couple of dollars!! Somehow we did end up with one of those plastic contraptions from a scholastic book sale! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 I wouldn't exactly "dump" it on him on the way out the door. For one thing, he'd probably ask if there was anything he and ds needed to do while we were gone, were there lunch plans, were there dinner plans, etc. For another thing, I'd tell ds and he'd be so excited, he'd tell dh. :001_smile: And I couldn't just not tell him ahead of time. Not my style. I'd have to ask if there was anything else they needed that I hadn't thought about so I could buy it on Friday. I talk big, but it never happens that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Why don't you just let him know that you would love it if he would take the responsibility to help with this project? I think it would be sneaky to drop it on him at the last minute. I would just talk about it and ask him to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Make testing the different sodas part of the project. What kind of soda works best? (Mythbusters says diet caffeinated.) I wouldn't assign my husband the job while walking out the door. I'd just say "I can't handle doing the science project with all my other stuff. Can you do it with him on Saturday while I'm taking the girls shopping?" If not, it won't get done. We just did the science fair, and my husband and older daughter did a project together. It went great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 do it!!! do it!!! do it!!!! i do not see "mean" at all -- you can also say "DS can do a better job and get more out of it one-on-one -- i'll take the girls off your hands ...." Yes! Looked at that way, you're actually being really nice. How generous of you to take the girls off his hands so ds can focus on his project. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Seems reasonable to me! Bet they would both have fun too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Manipulative, not mean. When he suggests more projects, give him feedback (communicate). Tell him that's a great idea, and you'd like him to help by doing x, y, z. Then discuss it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 My DH also feels we should do more project-type stuff. He did the reverse of this to me the other day - announced to the kids that we (the kids and I, that is) were doing a big old craft project that morning, without passing it by me first. I suppose it turned out alright, but I was rather annoyed. I do think it's legitimate to say "If this is important to you, you need to do it." I've done that with DH (who thinks I should be drilling the kids on sight word flash cards. I've never liked flash cards and am wary of sight words). But springing it on him probably isn't the best way to foster cooperation in the long term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I wouldn't exactly "dump" it on him on the way out the door. For one thing, he'd probably ask if there was anything he and ds needed to do while we were gone, were there lunch plans, were there dinner plans, etc. For another thing, I'd tell ds and he'd be so excited, he'd tell dh. :001_smile: And I couldn't just not tell him ahead of time. Not my style. I'd have to ask if there was anything else they needed that I hadn't thought about so I could buy it on Friday. I talk big, but it never happens that way. Sounds like a great plan :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 It's passive/aggressive as planned. That is not a great approach. Now, if you say to DH, "I need your specific help to do more projects. On next Saturday, would you please.........." that would be appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 With my husband, I'd have much more luck informing him in advance rather than springing it on him last minute. "Do you think next week you could help ds with his science project? I thought maybe I could take dd shopping for her birthday and you could help ds with that while we're gone- he'll enjoy the time with you and I figured you'd be well suited for helping with that project." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.