pmegan Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Just a quick poll: How many kids do you have? How much "help" do you have (family, babysitters, tutors, preschool)? How much alone time do you get, or time just with DH? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 Just a quick poll: How many kids do you have? How much "help" do you have (family, babysitters, tutors, preschool)? How much alone time do you get, or time just with DH? We've never lived near family. We have yet to find a good, reliable sitter since our move although I'm working on that. We generally try to go out just the two of us at least once a month. My hubby sends me off at least twice a month for some alone time-I go scrapbooking or go to the bookstore or something like that. I also go to the spouse socials which I think are fun and relaxing (for most of the units we've been in, anyway). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylaw Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 A lot. We are luck to have a huge extended family that lives locally. My children spend several nights a week at my parent's house. I have 62 cousins that live in town. My children have lots of sleepovers and playdates with their cousins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinMominTX Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I have a full time housekeeper who does laundry and cleans my house. She works everyday - Monday through Friday. She doesn't watch my kids, but could if I needed her to do so in a pinch. We have no real family in the immediate area so if we travel together sans kids, we either fly my mom here or else I fly with the girls and take them to my parents house. We don't do many date nights - partly because my dh travels quite a lot and partly because we're homebodies. I'd say we get out alone (dh and I) once per month. I get quite a bit of time to myself as my dh is very hands on and does a lot with the girls - when he is in town and not traveling. He will sometimes take them to work for a half day or else take them to go run errands giving me several blocks of time by myself. Last year he even took them with him on a business trip to Dubai and I had five days by myself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 3 dc (11, 8, 5). 24 hours/wk of paid help. I work PT, managing my dh's vet practice. Our only regular alone time is at work. :( We share an office so often are alone for a few minutes here or there at work, but that doesn't count as alone time IMHO b/c we're talking about work! We catch lunch out just us once a month or so and try not to talk about work. We keep meaning to go out more in the P.M., but don't do so regularly (a few times a year.). We seemed to need that more when the kids were smaller (and so demanding 24/7). Now they go to bed well and are usually in bed by 9, so we have that alone time together until we crash at 12 or 1 or 2. We usually spend at least 1-2 hours talking or reading to eachother or whatever each evening (on average, of course!) We've gone on trips just us two a few times over the years. Once in 2000, once in 2005. . . Hoping to do it again in a few more years and we may get a weekend in August. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 We have no family nearby, and never have since we've had kids. We haven't found any babysitters really. We used to have a couple of very close friends in our church and we'd share childcare. But they moved away... :( DH and I don't get much alone time at all. Sometimes I yearn for it! Other times I think that the kids grow up so fast, I don't mind spending time with them. But dh and I always go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time as each other. We have morning talk time, and a little evening talk time if dh isn't falling asleep! ;) We always hug and say I love you and pray together in the morning before he leaves for work. Then I have a quiet time for devotions and getting my own things done before the kids get up. So MOSTLY (except for maybe the pms time of the month) I'm good with what I do get with him. Oh, I have a group that meets for a scrapbook day once a quarter, and one other group that meets for knitting and talking once a month. Kristen, you sound like me with the amount of cousins! (BTW, does anyone else live in that town? :D ) Someone in my family came up with how many first cousins we have, and that came to 63. But that doesn't include the step or half. My mom had 11 brothers and sisters. My dad had 6 whole brothers and sisters, 11 half brothers and sisters and 12 step brothers and sisters! So I have NO CLUE how many there are, I don't even know most of them! But the closest of my cousins live a 6 hour drive away near a couple of my aunts and my parents. If we lived in that town, we'd be WELL covered for childcare so we could get away now and then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisychics Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 I have a full time housekeeper who does laundry and cleans my house. She works everyday - Monday through Friday. She doesn't watch my kids, but could if I needed her to do so in a pinch. We have no real family in the immediate area so if we travel together sans kids, we either fly my mom here or else I fly with the girls and take them to my parents house. We don't do many date nights - partly because my dh travels quite a lot and partly because we're homebodies. I'd say we get out alone (dh and I) once per month. I get quite a bit of time to myself as my dh is very hands on and does a lot with the girls - when he is in town and not traveling. He will sometimes take them to work for a half day or else take them to go run errands giving me several blocks of time by myself. Last year he even took them with him on a business trip to Dubai and I had five days by myself! WOW! That's great! Just having a full time housekeeper would be great for me. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I have a monthly book group that I've been in for over 6 years which is set in stone and permanently on dh's calendar :) Sometimes when family visits we go out on a date, but that's not too often. That's about it :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shanna Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 How many kids do you have? 6 How much "help" do you have (family, babysitters, tutors, preschool)? None How much alone time do you get, or time just with DH? Every Friday night we have a date night for a couple of hours. But, I usually having a nursing babe. As for time alone just for me? None. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 5 kids (10, 8, 5, almost 3, 7 mo). Until last year, we never really had any help ( a friend would watch my kids in a pinch). Last year we hired a mothers helper/babysitter for a few months during my difficult pregnancy, and my parents also moved to be closer. They can watch all the girls, but won't yet watch all 5 of them. I usually go out with dh every few months (often with a nursing baby along though) or have a book club meeting every 2 months or so (ditto on the nursing babe). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeri Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 But we do have 8 pm bedtime! This is for everyone, the 11 yo down! Of course, the olders can read for a while, but after 8, we tell them that they are on "our time"! jeri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylaw Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 LOL! Our "town" has 500,000+ people. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Just a quick poll: How many kids do you have? How much "help" do you have (family, babysitters, tutors, preschool)? How much alone time do you get, or time just with DH? Sometimes their college-age brother and his fiance, who live in an apartment complex a block away, will take one to three of the kiddos for a few hours. There's a mom or two we could call for an emergency. We don't have a regular babysitter, though, or any one I could pay to do it on a regular basis. Nobody I trust, who is available that often, thinks they can handle all four boys at once. (My friends are wussies, I tell ya.) All of my other family is far away, but the bigger kids do go to my mom's home for Camp Grammy once a year for two to five days. I go out once a month to a mom's meeting and treat myself to the occasional afternoon of linear thought by ditching the boys with their daddyo for a solitary library trip. He takes the kids to a park or something once a week for two to five hours. When the littlest one is old enough, I will seriously look into summer camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reservejagmom Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 1 ds and my mom lives fairly close and stays over to help out when I do my reserve work. But that's only when I'm working; I virtually never ask her to just babysit for the evening. Dh and I usually get the most quiet time in the early am when ds is still in bed. Its been ages since we went out to dinner together by ourselves; we rarely eat out anyway because its so much cheaper to eat at home. But that's ok -- we all like to be home! :001_smile: All of the cousins near ds' age live in MA and we live in FL, so if we see them once a year we're doing well. I wish they did live closer! Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 We have 2 dc, with a 3rd due any day now. We do not live near any family - my side or his. We don't have any babysitters that I trust and can afford. We don't have a community of home schooling friends either. Most of my friends work full time so getting together with them is difficult because when they're home from work they're devoted to family time. Other friends who are stay at home moms have either very small children so there isn't anyone for my dc to play with, or they are much older and in school. Therefore, we don't do "playdates" either. All of this translates to this - we don't leave our house very often and dh and I haven't been out alone, childless, in over a year. EXCEPT! This past Wednesday a good friend put her foot down and took my dc for us so dh could have from 8-5 together sans kids. It was a great day and highly refreshing to the spirit. I wish quality babysitters were easier to find (esp. now that I will have an infant requiring more attention and care) and affordable. We just can't have weekly dates that are going to cost us $50 (and that would be a cheap date), kwim? Though we have determined that the way we are currently living is unhealthy for us, especially me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 4 kids 0 help 0 time alone with DH (who is always at work) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesa Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I don't get any time alone... and me an dh went on a date a months ago. It was the first date we've had in 3 years. I miss time away from the kids.. not a long time but it would be nice to go out once a week without the kiddos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 We have a child old enough to babysit and kids old enough to take care of most of their own needs while being babysat. Still life is so busy with 4 kids and a dh that works a lot. We were going out every 2-3 weeks and it was great. Lately we've been so swamped that we enrolled the kids in a Wed. evening activity and go home and have a "date." We take a break to pick up the kids and then after they go to bed, resume our date. It helps our marriage immensely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 We have 10 kids and I have never had outside help, we don't have famly that helps or even visits us LOL. My older kids are a huge blessing and help me out alot now though. Dh and I don't spend that much time alone, but we have started going on dates every now and then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancypants Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Just a quick poll: How many kids do you have? How much "help" do you have (family, babysitters, tutors, preschool)? How much alone time do you get, or time just with DH? 4 kids, no help other than hubby... who is a lot of help actually... Every once in a while a family at church offers to take the kids for a day and it's wonderful to just be alone with dh or just go and get stuff done. We don't have family here though so no "emergency" type of help. We have great neighbors though who I'm sure would help us in a heartbeat. We get lots of alone time every night after the kids are in bed cause we generally stay up late and hang out together.:001_wub: Oh La La! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peri Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Just a quick poll: How many kids do you have? How much "help" do you have (family, babysitters, tutors, preschool)? How much alone time do you get, or time just with DH? -I have 3 (dd10, ds4, ds23mo). -I have no help. I sent ds4 to headstart just so I could get a break ... he's a rambunctious one. My mom works 3 jobs. DH is just bad when it comes to dealing with the kids. The only one who helps a little is dd10. She helps me around the house and when each of the boy's were under a year old, she would sit in the rocking chair with them in the morning so that I could get some sleep. That was heavenly for me. -My alone time, which is important time for me, comes when every one's in bed which is why they have to all be in bed by 9 tops. That's when I either get out my crochet hook or knitting needles and unwind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 4 kids, my mom watches them when I ask, but it's usually few and far between because we usually do stuff together with her instead of me going off. Dh and I haven't had a date in years, our last scheduled date was scuttled due to leaking sink/flooding floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 We have 2 children. Grandma and Grandpa take the kids for a few hours maybe once or twice a year. A young couple in our church take the kids maybe once a year. Our alone time is when we tell the kids to not bother us for a few minutes and lock the bedroom door to talk - usually when something major has happened with the kids and I need to talk to dh about it (I almost said "debrief" but that would give you the wrong idea!). Or when we go to the track and we walk around while the kids play on the grass in the middle. Dh gets up at 4:30 to go to work so he usually goes to bed when the kids do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in Orlando Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Four kids here. My folks live in town and were HUGE helps when the older boys were young. And, in an emergency, they (and my local brother) come through for me without question. But, for the most part we've been on our own. I never asked my parents to babysit. My brother stepped in a few times and sat on the boys when they were little. Now that they're older, and are able to be home alone, dh and I don't even know what to do. It's very weird. We've finally reached the point where the boys do their laundry and basic chores and the stuff that used to make me crazy is "poof" gone. I feel like the minutes and minutes and hours and hours and days and days and years and years I spent getting the boys to this point have been well-spent. But while I was living those hours and minutes and days, I sometimes wanted to pull out my hair. Alone time? That's tricky. It was when they were little. It is now that they are older. But we manage as best we can. Hang in there - every year is a new chapter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 5 kids. No help from relatives and very rarely a babysitter. While I was sick we did hire a professional nanny to come in and help. It was really odd considering we have tons of family within an 30 min. radius of where we live. Most outsiders consider this family to be close. Not so. We see these people for major holidays only. I haven't seen some of these folks since Thanksgiving and yet they live right down the road. I'll stop ranting. Dh told me early on in our marriage that you don't just drop by folks homes without calling days in advance. My side of the family live 350 miles away and my kids know them better than the relatives living in our own town. Crazy. I don't get childless time until I'm on the verge of a hysterical burned out breakdown. Then dh will let me sleep in later on Saturday. It sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I have 4 children. My dd goes to MDO 1x a week. DH and I try to meet up for lunch when she goes but she is really exceptionally good when she eats out with us and we really don't mind bringing her with us. I have 2 teenage boysthat let my 8 year old stay home with them. I get several hours of alone a week. My sister is and fil have watched the kids for us several times so we can get away. With fil we usually bring baby girl with us which really does not bother me she is such a good, patient, layed back child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 I have 4 children, and no outside help. Dh and I could have alone time when the kids go to sleep at 9:00, but by that time, we are too tired for anything more than a quick kiss and sleep. We are okay about it because we know we will have time alone when the kids grow up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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