"I could never homeschool!"

[MeganW]

You know that comment everyone always jokes about, "I could never homeschool"?

 

What if it's true? I'm a reasonably smart cookie, but am I the only one who seriously wonders if they really can provide the best education? Especially when they live in a GREAT public school district. We actually moved here primarily to get into this district, and now I am homeschooling! :)

 

- I panic when I read threads here about things like "MCT has a major error because they mis-indent" - I would NEVER catch that stuff. Seriously.

 

- I don't KNOW how to judge what gives a really deep scientific or mathematical understanding. I have just bought the curriculums recommended by people here as being academically strong (RightStart & BFSU), and assume that as long as I teach them in accordance with the teacher's manual, my kids will get a good education. But wow did I stink at science growing up, and I had a generic American math education. I really WON'T know if I am missing major things like some of you do. And then I just finished reading the thread about rigorous curriculum, where everyone says the teacher is what matters, not the curriculum. Like I said, I am of above average intelligence, but I am NOT a trained teacher. Is effort & caring enough to give a truly great education??

 

- a friend who has a 3rd grader in PS was talking to me about her kid's book report - he had to write FIVE paragraphs. Seriously? Five paragraphs??? Really?? In 3rd grade?? How can I compete with that?

 

- my kindergarten age niece (who is very articulate) gave me a 30 minute description yesterday of her latest school project. It sounded really really really detailed and amazing and FUN.

 

 

I know, I know, "take deep breaths, Megan. It's only kindergarten". But truly, how do you know that you are providing at least as good an education as they could get at the public school? (All else aside - social issues and so on.) To be honest, I NEVER expected my husband to give me the go-ahead to do this, and now that he has, with the promise that they will get at least as good an education, I am panicking.

Edited February 27, 2011 by MeganW

[jewel7123]

:grouphug: Giving you a hug, and I'm hoping that some of the more experienced homeschool Moms here will see this and respond with words of encouragement for you.

[Crimson Wife]

:grouphug::grouphug::chillpill::chillpill::chillpill:;):D

 

Every HS mom goes through days where she doubts herself. You are just at the beginning of your HS journey- it *WILL* get easier as time goes on! Pinkie-swear :D

[Cindyz]

I often wonder if our neighborhood school was top notch, would I send him? It's not something that I have to think about seriously because it's not the case. I want to say that I wouldn't because I value the time that I get with my son, the bond that we have and will hopefully keep, the things that I'm learning right along with him, the fact that we can do more things outside of school because of all the extra time we have by not going to school full time, etc. Of course I want the best education that I can possibly provide for him, but I also know that no matter how awesome the school is, they are not perfect...just as I am not perfect. So if I consider that they are not perfect, and I am not perfect, and we can both provide a great (yet imperfect) education, still the pros outweigh the cons for home schooling. I'm not beyond hiring out certain topics whether it be a class at the ps, a tutor (mandarin), online classes, etc.

 

Just curious, what was the K project that sounded very detailed and fun. :D :D

[redsquirrel]

Why do you want to homeschool? You need a reason. If you don't have a philosophy and it's NOT all academic then you will never feel comfortable.

 

I homeschool for mostly academic reasons. But, if I won the lottery tomorrow and could move to a city with a wonderful private school that I could afford, I wouldn't send my kids. Why? Because I believe my kids thrive with the benefit of one on one education. Because I don't want my kids exposed to the consumerist culture of the school. Because I want my little boys to be little boys until they grow up on their own terms. Because I don't want my children socialized by their peers.

 

Yes, there are some things that a public or private school will do better. But no public or private school can do all of what I do.

 

You just wait, in a couple years this will be the norm and it will be ok. It really will.

 

I remember that free fall feeling when all my friends, including some who planned to homeschool, sent their kids first to preschool and then kindergarten. It was a scary feeling. Who was I to think I could do this?

 

You know what? My elder son is now in 5th grade and he is fine. he is well educated and doing great. Is he the best a everything? No. he has a friend, who attends public school who is a phenomenal writer. She just is and always will be. But does that means I am a lousy writing teacher? No. It means he knows a kid who is a good writer.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

:grouphug: Giving you a hug, and I'm hoping that some of the more experienced homeschool Moms here will see this and respond with words of encouragement for you.

 

Ditto. :grouphug: A superior education isn't the ultimate reason we homeschool and we're not close to any public schooled children so I don't have the same anxiety but I can completely understand it. If I was surrounded by that I would probably feel tempted to compare and then be anxious as well regardless of our different goals. :grouphug:

[Ginevra]

Megan,

 

Your points are certainly worth considering, but I would tell you to dial down the panic. Chances are, you will do fine. Obviously, you care, which I consider more than half the battle.

 

Homeschooling comes enfolded in an entire lifestyle; it's not just whether this curriculum or that one contains each and every essential kernel of knowledge one could want.

 

Remember that a child in school is not going to absorb every teensy bit of knowledge that comes their way, so even if the school is requiring excellent work and even if they are covering gobs of material, it doesn't mean your child will do everything at the highest possible level. One huge advantage of homeschooling is that you can see how the child is doing with the knowledge you present. They aren't sitting in a desk far away, focusing most of their attention on the zit on the neck of the geek in the seat in front of them.

 

Plus, statistically, it is evident that homeschooling succeeds academically, certainly in any household where the parents care, and into which category you appear to fall. It would be hard for an attentive parent to miss how their child is doing when they are right under your nose all day long.

 

And you can always come here to discuss some of the finer points, if you're not sure about this Science curriculum or that Math program.

 

Besides all that, I think the areas of life not concerned with academics are the biggest payoff of homeschooling, even while I think homeschooling academics are a huge payoff.

[Mommyfaithe]

Yes, you can give your child an excellent education,even if the indent thing throws you for a loop. I promise...I do not see where children are getting this great writing instruction in Public School. Quantity does not equate quality.

 

And please try to remember. It is not a contest to see who can burn their kid or themselves out first. Homeschooling is a marathon...not a sprint. Th As long as you are determined to do the job...and do it well...you can. You will find a way.

 

Faithe

[Capt_Uhura]

You're just starting on this journey. Keep reading the WTM forum. You'll learn so much here! Folks like 8FilltheHeart will share what the've learned. You'll in turn, share what you've learned. I know soooo much about teaching math now 3yrs into HSing than when I started. It has taken a lot of time on my part to read the boards, follow links, read books but it has been worth it. You'll get there too!

[MelanieM]

Maybe it would be helpful for you to think about what a good education means to you. When you get to the 'end' of the road, what will you consider as successful education? For some people, that's about specific content/skill goals. For others, it's about real life experience, family and general quality of life. For many it's a combination of all that and more. Knowing what you want for your kids in the big picture and having a sense of what you need to do to get there can really help in the moments when you wonder if your eight year old is missing out on not writing five paragraph papers on dolphins.

[justamouse]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Here's the thing. Most of the time when people say that stuff they've either

 

A. NEver been pushed to the wall where they HAD to do something

B. Use it as an excuse as to why they won't

C. Feel measured by the fact that you Do and are covering up for feeling of inadequacy.

D. They're telling the truth

 

Doing anything well takes time and attention. So give yourself a break in that you are just at the very beginning of your journey.

 

And please try to remember. It is not a contest to see who can burn their kid or themselves out first. Homeschooling is a marathon...not a sprint. Th As long as you are determined to do the job...and do it well...you can. You will find a way.

 

 

There is wisdom here. Really. It's a marathon and you are not served into pressing yourself to get it all mastered yesterday. :grouphug::grouphug:

[Momling]

I've been a teacher... and I've been written textbooks... and I've been involved in committees to establish school and district standards for different subjects. And here's the truth: it's all kind of arbitrary. Teaching, curriculum development, and decision-making about education and policy are not sciences. It's usually just done by a group of well-meaning people. It can be done just as well (and probably even better) by you -- who are an expert about your child.

[littlebug42]

I have been where you are. My sister also homeschools but she has a Master's degree in education and I have often felt inferior. What I have had to do though, is really look at what my priorities are. My daughters are not yet writing 5 paragraphs of anything but I think writing is pushed far too early in the schools (around here at least). I want my kids to be able to construct good sentences first and then paragraphs etc. That has been a priority for me. I, too, often don't pick up on things that some people here do but don't let that discourage you. I have just been learning some stuff along with my kids and we are doing well. Comparing yourselves to others can just be destructive and so counter productive. If you want to homeschool well, I believe that you can because there is an abundance of information to help you. Have you read The Well Trained Mind? Even when I don't follow it exclusively, it really helped me to know that I can do this.

[5LittleMonkeys]

You know that comment everyone always jokes about, "I could never homeschool"?

 

What if it's true? I'm a reasonably smart cookie, but am I the only one who seriously wonders if they really can provide the best education? Especially when they live in a GREAT public school district. We actually moved here primarily to get into this district, and now I am homeschooling! :)

 

- I panic when I read threads here about things like "MCT has a major error because they mis-indent" - I would NEVER catch that stuff. Seriously. You can't give your dc a perfect education (whether it homeschool, ps or private)...no matter what, they are going to have gaps and they are going to have certain things that they will have to catch up with or learn differently when they get to college. Teach them how\where to look up information on proper indentations after quotes and you will better prepare them.

 

- I don't KNOW how to judge what gives a really deep scientific or mathematical understanding. I have just bought the curriculums recommended by people here as being academically strong (RightStart & BFSU), and assume that as long as I teach them in accordance with the teacher's manual, my kids will get a good education. But wow did I stink at science growing up, and I had a generic American math education. I really WON'T know if I am missing major things like some of you do. And then I just finished reading the thread about rigorous curriculum, where everyone says the teacher is what matters, not the curriculum. Like I said, I am of above average intelligence, but I am NOT a trained teacher. Is effort & caring enough to give a truly great education?? I wonder about this too and this is why I spend a lot of time educating myself along with my dc. I spend lots of time learning about what is involved in those deep understandings that you refer to. I also always let my dc know (the older ones) that I don't have all the answers but that I know where to go to find them and I show them by example how to go deep with understanding instead of just skimming the top.

 

- a friend who has a 3rd grader in PS was talking to me about her kid's book report - he had to write FIVE paragraphs. Seriously? Five paragraphs??? Really?? In 3rd grade?? How can I compete with that? Why do you need to? Do you need your 3rd grader to do 5 paragraph reports? I don't need my dc to write 5 paragraphs of anything until they are in late middle school and highschool and even then, every essay they write is a work in progress. All of their writing assignments are just preparing them for college writing. I don't need them to write a book report to prove that they read a book, or understand their history or science because I talk to them about those things and I confirm understanding by other methods. If you want your 3rd grader writing reports then purchase curriculum that will teach that but keep in mind that the 5 paragraph report that your friend's dc wrote probably reads like a 3rd grader did it.:tongue_smilie:Also, keep in mind that it is pretty common (at least in my experience) for dc to do really well and excel in lower elementary grades but then hit a plato and even out or sometimes even stagnate once they reach late elementary and middle school in ps.

 

- my kindergarten age niece (who is very articulate) gave me a 30 minute description yesterday of her latest school project. It sounded really really really detailed and amazing and FUN. So do your own amazing, FUN projects!

 

 

I know, I know, "take deep breaths, Megan. It's only kindergarten". But truly, how do you know that you are providing at least as good an education as they could get at the public school? (All else aside - social issues and so on.) To be honest, I NEVER expected my husband to give me the go-ahead to do this, and now that he has, with the promise that they will get at least as good an education, I am panicking.

First, you need to stop looking at what your dc is accomplishing each year and start looking more long term. I would set goals for starting 3rd grade, starting middle school, starting high school and finally, graduation. I also try to remember that academics isn't the ONLY reason that I'm homeschooling. In fact it comes after 2 other reasons for my family. Even if my dc get only a comparable education to what they could have gotten in ps we will have gained so much more. I wouldn't trade the time I have with my dc and the lessons they learn from living this type of lifestyle for anything.

 

There is more to life than a rigorous education. This is the only childhood my dc will ever get and I want them to remember how incredibly wonderful, fun and full of adventure it was...not how rigorous their education was. I can't make my dc's future for them...I'm giving my dc the tools they will need to make their own future. If they get to college and realize that we didn't spend enough time on math or science then at least they will have the skills and the determination (that I'm hopefully instilling in them now) to do what it takes to learn what they need to learn to succeed.

 

I hope all of that makes sense...I know in my heart what I mean but sometimes it is hard to articulate. :D

[Celia]

Hi Megan,

 

I think so many of us moms have been where you are, and I know I wander back down that road often! I was recently questioning the writing thing, and thought I'd do well to read the WWE text again to get my long term vision straight about where we're going here. Read it. It completely addresses why the way the ps system isn't working in the long run, even though in the early years, the kids do an awful lot of writing.

 

Some of the projects and stuff they do at school do sound fun, and I'm sure the kids often have a great time. If you don't feel you can provide that at home, there are opportunites elsewhere, like at a science centre, art centre, ect. Check around. Frankly, a lot of the projects I hear about the kids around me doing sound fun, but often I wouldn't honestly call it a valuable use of time. If it were, I'd do it at home!

 

I was encouraged yesterday when the neighbour boy came over who's in grade 3. My ds is grade 1. They were playing Wii together, and some script came up on the screen. The neighbour boy asked my son to read it for him, because he couldn't. And he goes to a private school and has about 45mins of homework every night!

 

I think you need to step back and make a list of why you choose to homeschool. Keep it handy for when you're doubting yourself.

 

As far as doubting yourself academically, remember that even going to a good ps doesn't mean that there won't be gaps! I know for myself, I was an honours student, but managed to avoid learning a snip of grammar! I missed the basics when I was in the early grades, and just let myself fail that part of English class for the rest of the years ahead, making up for it in other sections. So, if there's an indenting problem in MCT :)

 

Your kiddos are young, as are mine. I plan to seriously take the advice to educate myself more so I am prepared to be ahead of them. A teacher must know what they teach. I spend a little time every day learning more about teaching effectively, and more about the subjects I will be teaching.

 

Finally, spend just a few dollars and download and listen to SWB's lectures on Peace Hill Press. They are encouraging.

Edited February 27, 2011 by Celia

[MrsMe]

You're thinking the big picture. Take baby steps. I disagree with the pp. At first, beginning hs-ers, take it year by year so you're not so overwhelmed. After you have about 2 years in, you'll feel better and can start looking at the big picture. I didn't think I could teach dd to read, but it wasn't that hard. The material out there is very helpful. It's a learning process for all. And if you don't know, you learn with your kids. I also disagree with the pp. Look at what your kids did that year. Sometimes you feel like you're not accomplishing anything, until you look at the things they've created at the beginning. You just go, "wow"!

 

Your worst day cannot compare to someone else teaching your child with 20 other kids. Someone who doesn't love your kid the way you do, someone who won't give your child the one on one time you do. And you forgot one thing...What about the new teachers who go into a huge class and have no idea what they're doing. YIKES! You can do anything you put your mind to. You need to make it your job. It's not something you do on the side. This is your job. And I do agree with the pp...it isn't all about academics. It's about not letting someone else raise your kid and fill their heads with garbage you don't want for 7 hours every single day.

Edited February 27, 2011 by alilac

[skueppers]

What if it's true? I'm a reasonably smart cookie, but am I the only one who seriously wonders if they really can provide the best education? Especially when they live in a GREAT public school district. We actually moved here primarily to get into this district, and now I am homeschooling! :)

 

I live in a great school district, too. I am convinced that my children can obtain an education at home that's at least as good as what they would get in public school. If that ever stops being true, I'll re-evaluate!

 

I'll be the first to admit that the only years of homeschooling I know anything about are Kindergarten and First Grade. One step at a time is good enough for me.

 

- I panic when I read threads here about things like "MCT has a major error because they mis-indent" - I would NEVER catch that stuff. Seriously.

 

You do not need to be able to catch that stuff. When your kids write papers in college, the college or the professor will specify which style guide they are supposed to use. Copies of this style guide will be available at the library, in the college bookstore, etc. Your child will be expected to use that style guide in writing the paper, even though it will probably be different from whatever they learned in their previous education.

 

Have you ever used a style guide? If you have, you will remember that it tells you everything you need to know about issues like how to handle quotations.

 

- I don't KNOW how to judge what gives a really deep scientific or mathematical understanding. I have just bought the curriculums recommended by people here as being academically strong (RightStart & BFSU), and assume that as long as I teach them in accordance with the teacher's manual, my kids will get a good education. But wow did I stink at science growing up, and I had a generic American math education. I really WON'T know if I am missing major things like some of you do. And then I just finished reading the thread about rigorous curriculum, where everyone says the teacher is what matters, not the curriculum. Like I said, I am of above average intelligence, but I am NOT a trained teacher. Is effort & caring enough to give a truly great education??

 

It's not possible for your child to obtain a "complete" education, no matter where they go to school. There is always more to learn.

 

You didn't need previous parenting experience to be a great parent. You also don't need previous teaching experience to be a great teacher for your own children. You care about them, you work hard to provide them with that great education. It is enough. If there's a point in the future when it's not, you'll find a solution, because you care about your kids. Maybe that solution will involve online classes, outside classes, tutors, or even public school. Whatever it is, you'll find it!

 

I'm a first-year homeschooler, and I can tell you with complete assurance that my child has learned more at home with me than she could possibly have learned at school, even in my great school district. I know plenty of people who have kids in the public schools here, and I know what they've been learning. My kid is learning more, particularly in math.

 

One of the things I have noticed even in this first year is that when something is not working for my kid, I can change it THE VERY NEXT DAY. No public school can do that.

 

- a friend who has a 3rd grader in PS was talking to me about her kid's book report - he had to write FIVE paragraphs. Seriously? Five paragraphs??? Really?? In 3rd grade?? How can I compete with that?

 

Uh, why wouldn't your children be able to write a five paragraph book report in third grade? If that's a goal of yours, and you work on it slowly and consistently over the course of the next few years, you'll be amazed what your kids can do in third grade!

 

But perhaps being able to write a five paragraph book report in third grade isn't important enough to you to require the incremental work needed in order to get there. Nothing wrong with that!

 

- my kindergarten age niece (who is very articulate) gave me a 30 minute description yesterday of her latest school project. It sounded really really really detailed and amazing and FUN.

 

What is stopping you from having detailed and fun school projects for your kids when they are in Kindergarten? If that's important to you, then you'll find a way to do it! If other things are more important, you'll do those things instead.

 

One thing I've learned so far as a homeschooler is that being clear about your priorities is really important.

 

One of our top priorities is to provide a solid education in German. Because we spend quite a few hours a week on this (about 2 hours of written work, 2 1/2 hours of Saturday school, 2-3 hours a week of German children's TV shows, German read-alouds, German reading, etc.), we don't have time for some of the things other people do.

 

It would be easy for me to look at what they're doing (cool social studies projects, more writing, whatever), and feel that what I'm doing comes up short by comparison.

 

But what I'm doing is in line with our priorities. It's not possible to do everything!

[8filltheheart]

I'm not going to say that homeschooling automatically leads to a superior education. Nor am I going to say that it is always the best option. But I absolutely will affirm that parents can provide their children a quality education if homeschooling is a desired option and they are dedicated to making it work.

 

Homeschooling is a full-time job. Just like my dh has to continuously train for new developments in his job, I have to educate myself. It is definitely possible to educate myself in the matter I want to teach my children (up to a certain pt. Once they reach a certain skill level, I am no longer capable of devoting the time it takes to learn certain subject matter. That is when outsourcing is a better option than me. That is my reality w/a large family and young kids. If I had more time to devote to a single child and single subjects, I would probably have a different perspective.)

 

I have to be disciplined in creating plans and sticking to them. I have to be diligent in making school a priority and not allowing outside influences (or even home ones) to detract or distract from our daily objectives. This is a constant battle for me b/c I am surrounded by lots of distractions and I cannot allow life to take over. If I weren't committed to treating it as a fulltime job.......homeschooling would not be a good for my children and I would be doing them a disservice. There are days when I do exactly that. The odd day is ok. Long-term, no.

 

Your child is in K. Enjoy the joy and simplicity of the younger yrs, but you can also take the opportunity of not having full academic school days with your child to prepare yourself for the future if you feel unprepared. If you study daunting subject matter bit by bit now, you will be more than ready by the time your child needs to learn it. The more you feel confident in what you are teaching, the better teacher you will be. Being less dependent on a curriculum to teach and more self-reliant on your skills will only empower you through those times when you doubt yourself and your ability to do this.

 

We all doubt. We all struggle. The question is what we do to deal w/those issues and if they are valid concerns or if we are blowing concerns out of proportion. Homeschooling is not stagnant and we often have to re-evaluate choices and decisions as our life changes and new things arise. Recognizing the weaknesses and compensating for them is a positive! Acting as if they don't exist....that would be far more likely to cause poor outcomes.:grouphug:

[kristinannie]

OK, I can't completely help you off of the ledge here because I haven't started HSing yet and I am definitely nervous about it. However, I can tell you some of my thoughts. First of all, the reason I am homeschooling is because God called me to this. I was hesitant at first until I started doing my research. I truly believe that this is the best thing for my family...my shortcomings and all. Honestly, my education had a lot of holes. I moved around a lot and didn't get the best education. I never had any grammar. I don't even know what a predicate is and I was an English major in college.

 

I was in a gifted class for 4-5th grades. We were all on individualized programs in every subject. It was the only time in school that I loved to learn. I wasn't lazy because I was challenged all the time. That is how I want it to be for my kids.

 

I am actually excited to learn along with my kids. I would love to learn Latin, grammar, etc. We can do it together.

 

I am sure that you are doing great. Don't freak out about 5th grade yet. You are still far away from that. The fact that you love your kids and want the best for them will get you through it!

[Tracy]

I am pretty new to this, so I cannot offer very much. I just have two comments. The first is concerning writing. Have you read what SWB has to say about it? Public schools, in an effort to meet state and federal standards, are having younger and younger children write more and more. The thinking is the more they do it, the better they will get. Well, it is not working! SWB maintains that you actually have to teach certain skills before you can get them writing original works. My oldest is only 6yo, so take this FWIW. But that makes a lot of sense to me.

 

I would also like to recommend a book by Lisa Rivero entitled The Homeschooling Option. I am reading it right now, and it does a really great job of outlining all of the various reasons that one might want to homeschool. If you are wavering in your decision to homeschool, this is definitely the book to read!

 

HTH,

[In2why]

You only have to stay a week ahead of your child. :chillpill:

Just by coming to this forum you are educating yourself and building pegs. I read conversations about things that mean nothing to me, and then I see them again, and know more. I look at how little I knew a year ago and in a year from now I hope to look back and think the same thing. Mastery versus Spiral math?? Young Earth, versus Old Earth, versus, Evolution?? The importance of languages, modern versus 'dead'??

 

When I get freaked out I watch this video

 

You will learn what you need to know when you need to know it! So will your child.

[Boxing Hare]

I wanted to add that there are a lot of other opportunities out there. I quickly realized that I could not teach writing to my kids. So I have enrolled them in an online writing class. I also realized that I do not enjoy teaching science, so I send them to a science class. Remember that you don't have to do it all!

[Homemama2]

I panic when I read threads here about things like "MCT has a major error because they mis-indent" - I would NEVER catch that stuff. Seriously

 

I kind of freak when I read stuff like this too. But it also happens in ps textbooks. I can remember in Alg 2 in high school, our teacher was trying to do this one problem for us. Finally he gave up and said that he guessed the answer in the teacher's book was wrong and we could just skip that problem. :confused: (This happened more than once in that class.)