KristinaBreece Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Help! DD turned 2 in November. By all accounts, she is a healthy, thriving little dynamo. She's been night nursing only since about 15 months. How do we put a stop to this? DS was easy... I started by giving him a cup of milk at bed time, then rocking him to sleep. (We were done with the milk routine altogether by the time he was 18 months old.) DD will NOT drink milk from a cup at bed time. She knows it's bed time, and will cry hysterically, begging me to "open it Mommy!" It's getting to be painful, and I don't know how best to wean her. BTDT? Any suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 My DD was like this. I opted to continue for a while until she was more prepared. Have you ever read "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? It made me feel much more comfortable with this choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted February 27, 2011 Author Share Posted February 27, 2011 My DD was like this. I opted to continue for a while until she was more prepared. Have you ever read "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? It made me feel much more comfortable with this choice. Thanks! I love a good book rec! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oops, duplicate account :/ Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) My DD was like this. I opted to continue for a while until she was more prepared. Have you ever read "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? It made me feel much more comfortable with this choice. :iagree: I never thought I'd be nursing a two and a half year old, but I am! It helped to gently stop night nursing and try to distract ds during the day except when he wakes and after naps. I have to tell just recently nursing has gotten so sweet! I guess because I can tell how much he treasures this time (instead of crying!) because he can talk! It's just so comforting and loving and special for him! I can't imagine nursing him past 3, but maybe we will! He calls nursing 'please'. I taught him nursing manners and to ask please (when he was capable of course) and I guess just 'please' stuck instead of 'nurse please'. So cute! Edited February 27, 2011 by JENinOR I second MYNT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I was planning on weaning my toddler gradually off that last night time nursing, but had to go into the hospital for emergency surgery. I was gone for 4 days and DH put the toddler to bed each night with a story and a music CD. When I came home, we just kept up the bed time routine and DD was fine. Not suggesting emergency surgery for you, but maybe you could run away every night for a week and have your DH get the toddler into a new routine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K&Rs Mom Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Could dh handle bedtime for a while? That's what worked here - if I was anywhere around, they knew it and would carry on, but stepping back and letting him take care of it worked great (and helped his parenting confidence too). Actually he turned out to be better at getting babies to sleep than I was! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tylianna Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I weaned my youngest when she was almost 2 1/2 years old. I had to put bandaids on the ni**les and tell her that I had ouchies, and she couldn't nurse. She was old enough to understand what I was saying. It took a couple days of her asking and wanting to see the bandaids (they helped her "see" the ouchie lol). After that, I just needed to tell her that they had ouchies, and she couldn't have them anymore. It lasted maybe a week, and she was weaned. She didn't nurse enough for me to be uncomfortable with quitting so suddenly like that. Weird, but it worked for us. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matryoshka Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Not suggesting emergency surgery for you, but maybe you could run away every night for a week and have your DH get the toddler into a new routine? This is actually exactly how I weaned my 2yo with a personality like this! I would go out periodically in the evening, so I knew she'd go to bed without me if I just wasn't there, but if I was there she needed me. So for about a week, I left the house, drove the car around to the other side of the house and snuck back in, and dh put her to bed. She was fine. I slept in the trundle so when she woke I wouldn't be in bed with her (again, she was fine as long as I wasn't there). After a week, she was fine with me there too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 My DD was like this. I opted to continue for a while until she was more prepared. I think it is possible to do this, but still find a balance if you're feeling worn out and just a little too popular. With ds none of the usual distraction tactics worked, and I was pretty convinced that yes, he would still be nursing when he left for college. A thought I was starting to find just a touch disturbing. In the end, nursing to sleep was a habit, and was also very much about him having control of the situation - he was able to make me stop, and be with him 100% in the way he needed me to. So we broke the habit. The first "break" came when we were having some fights over dinner, and we went with no dinner, no nursing. Because he is the most stubborn soul on the planet, this meant he went without nursing for 3 out of 5 days. After that I was ill with a cold, and told him I was feeling too ill to nurse some nights. Then for a few more night I would simply announce early in the evening that I was too tired to nurse. This was not an end to nursing, I should emphasise, but an end to "nursing dependency". There were most definitely tears, but he was still cuddled and loved and I got over the guilt. Ds is 4yrs, and still nurses before bed every 3-4 nights. He asks more often, but accepts a "No" when I give it now. With your dd, I would start by assuring her that she could still nurse if she had the cup of milk. This is what we did with dd who was much easier to wean than ds - she started having milk before nursing, which led to shorter nursing times as she was full more quickly. Over time supply decreased, and she lost interest. Good luck in finding a balance that makes you both happy. Nikki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alenee Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I weaned my youngest when she was almost 2 1/2 years old. I had to put bandaids on the ni**les and tell her that I had ouchies, and she couldn't nurse. She was old enough to understand what I was saying. It took a couple days of her asking and wanting to see the bandaids (they helped her "see" the ouchie lol). After that, I just needed to tell her that they had ouchies, and she couldn't have them anymore. It lasted maybe a week, and she was weaned. She didn't nurse enough for me to be uncomfortable with quitting so suddenly like that. Weird, but it worked for us. ;) This is exactly what happened with us. I got pregnant and nursing hurt so badly! I told her it was "ouchie" and she was okay with that. Went very smoothly. I do like that idea though about dh stepping in. Great idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I ended up nursing him far far longer than I had ever imagined I would do such a thing. We tried everything that's been suggested here, multiple times in fact, and he was just an emotional wreck each time, not angry crying, just sad, pro-longed, persistent crying. Bedtime was the last to go; day nursing was easier to deal with because there are other things to do. When it came to bedtimes, it ended when I was about 5 months pregnant with his brother and my milk completely dried up. By that time, he was 3 1\4 (yes! he is strong willed) and we had already talked about it many times. I still sat with him, read stories, cuddled. This may not be what you were hoping to hear, but for some children it is VERY hard to give it up. What happened to me was that I began to recognize the benefits of nursing an older child and that made it easier for me to cope-MY plan was to wean between 6 and 12 months, doncha know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 It's getting to be painful, and I don't know how best to wean her. BTDT? Any suggestions? I haven't "BTDT" (though I will be trying to BF the little guy coming in June) - but this stands out to me... I know that there are people who will tell you that you 'should' keep going because your child "needs" more time, but if it's actually painful for you then I'd stop -- it might be tough for a bit, but she's not gonna be traumatized or anything. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 One, change the bedtime routine completely -- take a shower or otherwise be unavailable, and have your husband put her to bed. Sometimes my toddlers will more readily accept Daddy-who-never-had-the-milk as opposed to Mommy-who-has-it-and-won't-share (in their opinion). Two, you could nurse until a certain count -- 10, or 20, or whatever, and gradually cut that down. I'm currently nursing my 2yo while pregnant, and it's pretty uncomfortable, but tolerable for a few seconds. He seems to be okay with that but responds well to being given the choice between unlatching himself or having me unlatch him (he prefers to do it himself). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I haven't read all of the responses so forgive me if this has been said. This worked for my eldest when she started waking up again at night to nurse and she was a lot younger then what you are dealing with but it's worth a try! She would normally nurse for 6 minutes and then be done. I took a little clock in with me and would watch the time and after 5 minutes, I took her off and put her back to bed. After several days ( no more then a week for her), I then went down to 4 minutes. I gave that several days and knocked off another minute. Eventually, we got down to 1 minute and she stopped waking up for it- it wasn't worth it to her any more. I also did this with my younger one when I was trying to get her to sleep through the night. It took longer with my younger one- I had to wait about a week between each time change. Once we ran out of time, I had to go in and pat her back briefly before she was willing to give up. For both of them, it was very easy and less traumatic on both of us then stopping cold turkey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 My son was just a little older than your dd. I went away for a week (had to go house hunting). When I got back, he had forgotten all about it. Is there any way you can have someone else do the bedtime routine for a week or so, with you out of the house? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Have you ever read "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? I second this suggestion. It has both excellent weaning advice *and* support for continuing if that's the right choice for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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