Considering giving up homeschooling --what should I know?

[babysparkler]

I was feeling a lot like you are and I just made some big changes to our curriculum and schedule to make it work better for ME. I was doing some more "teacher intensive" things (like Rightstart and AAS), but pulled back to give them more independent work (like Math Mammoth and Growing with Grammar & Soaring with Spelling). I also recently paired up the kids and made part of the older kids' assignments READING to the littles, and playing with them. My 8yo "teaches" preschool to my 3yo up in her room during the day while my 10yo reads with my 5yo so that I can have some time off. I also don't have any family nearby, so I don't get much of a break... so I make my self small breaks here and there. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, I will put a movie on and go take a nice long shower or a quick nap. As far as cleaning, I just taught my older two how to do their own laundry, and reward them when they complete it. My 8yo LOVES doing her own and sometimes will even help with the others (for extra rewards of course). My house is more messy than I would like, but I work at it when I am able. Last night I put all of the kids to bed and tackled the growing pile of dishes with Grey's Anatomy on to distract me from the fact that it was work :tongue_smilie:.

 

Try to start with Schedule/Curriculum changes and see if that helps. :grouphug:

[Catwoman]

I haven't read all of the replies, so I'm sure I'm repeating what others have already said, but I think you need to lighten up a bit. Your kids are still so young -- you have years and years to teach them everything they need to know, and you don't have to do it all RIGHT NOW.

 

I speak from experience on this. I bought tons of curriculum and wanted to use it all. Immediately, if not sooner. :tongue_smilie: I was afraid that ds wouldn't learn everything in the entire world, and that I needed all of the history and the science and the electives and the Latin and the other foreign languages..... AAAARRRGH!!!! I was a complete lunatic, planning everything out. Of course, reality reared its ugly head, and none of my ambitious plans worked very well -- and that turned out to be a good thing.

 

Honestly, think back to when you were 7 years old.

 

How much of the history and science that you learned when you were 7, do you still remember today? Probably very, very little. And that's ok. So much of what you're teaching your kids now, that seems so wonderful, will be forgotten in a few years. And that's ok, too. Everything you cover now, will be covered again in higher grades. Really. It's true.

 

Make sure they're good readers with good grammar skills, and that they're doing well in math and doing some fun handwriting workbooks, and let the rest go. Watch some fun videos for science. Toss in a little history as you go along. But don't drive yourself crazy. You're doing a great job, but you're burning yourself out in the process. Both you and your kids need to have some fun, or you'll all end up hating school, and that's something that's hard to overcome.

 

When I was in your situation, we switched to the BJU DVDs, and they were great for us. I could relax because I knew we were covering all the academic bases, but I didn't have the stress of doing all of the planning (and worrying about what I wasn't covering that would, of course, affect my son's life forever. :glare:)

 

But right now, if I can give you one piece of advice from someone who's been in your situation, I would tell you to take a deep breath and stop being the supermom and superteacher, and concentrate on lightening the load and making "school" more fun for all of you.

 

Cat

[Jean in Newcastle]

We use CLE &Singapore with some Rightstart sprinkled in.I like them all and cannot give up any .

FLL , Phonics Pathways for the youngest and WWE&CLE LA for the oldest .

Then there is Bible , handwriting , science , history , reading aloud ,memorization, etc . If there is any time or energy left .

Then piano lessons and gymnastics . They love both but I hate driving .

 

 

 

I'm glad that you're taking a break today.:):auto:

 

OK - Look at your list up there. It is a lot. Do you do all of them everyday? That would burn anyone out.

 

Also - your comment on "I like them all and cannot give up any". Gently - if you put them in ps you would be giving them all up. So - you might consider paring down and giving up some of it for your own health's sake so that you can have your kids home with you.

[Denisemomof4]

I'm glad that you're taking a break today.:):auto:

 

OK - Look at your list up there. It is a lot. Do you do all of them everyday? That would burn anyone out.

 

Also - your comment on "I like them all and cannot give up any". Gently - if you put them in ps you would be giving them all up. So - you might consider paring down and giving up some of it for your own health's sake so that you can have your kids home with you.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Jean, you're SO wise. I want to be like you when I grow up, if I ever do.;)

[elfgivas]

THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful advice ! I need to take notes . Some of you gave me excellent ideas and I really need to apply them.

 

Mostly I agree - I need a break. We are going to the beach today :)

 

We use CLE &Singapore with some Rightstart sprinkled in.I like them all and cannot give up any .

FLL , Phonics Pathways for the youngest and WWE&CLE LA for the oldest .

Then there is Bible , handwriting , science , history , reading aloud ,memorization, etc . If there is any time or energy left .

Then piano lessons and gymnastics . They love both but I hate driving .

 

 

I will consider BJU DVDs for next year but I am not sure if this will make it easier ...

 

if it were me (and its not, its you ;)),

 

i would schedule my little heart out, and change a lot of what you are doing. my hunch is that you may not be the only one getting burnt out in your household! at this age, my fabulous discoveries were Five in a Row and Teach your children to read well. it reduced the time involved in teaching and made it all sooooo much more enjoyable. (and they still learned a lot!) at those ages, i could not have done all the curriculum you are doing and stayed sane, but i could cover all the subjects you are covering, just differently. (i think your hunch about bob jones not being easier is accurate, btw). when all 4 dds were younger, then each of the olders had a 15 minute time with one of the youngers each day. this helped with sanity and school, too)

 

when my dc where 7 & 5 (and 18 and 21), here's what a day looked like for me most days. note that it has 2 hours of alone time built into it.

 

(i put in first load of laundry, unload dishwasher while coffee brews)

we drove carpool to the private high school dd 18 was attending, 30 minutes each way. during that ride, we listened to story of the world, and some kind of fun tape of a second language (that year it was french). we also listened to kids classics (classical music set with a story).

 

then we were home and had breakfast while i read aloud.

(i would run hot water in the sink before breakfast, so dishes could be cleared into the water)

 

we used Five in a Row, so i would read one of those stories. then we would do a song, fingerplay, etc, on the theme of the week (there are many kindergarten theme books that you just pick up and use). i would do singapore math with one, while the other one did matching cards or pattern blocks (i collected a few educational play toys that they could do on their own. i would start the younger one on that while the older one got their books). then, we'd switch.

(somewhere in here i would load the dishwasher with the breakfast dishes, and unload the washing machine and hang up the laundry outside)

 

a la charlotte mason, we would take a 30 minute walk, feed the chickens, etc.

 

then we'd come back and do something academic (whatever there was time for)

 

but every day, without fail, at 10am i had my 30 minute coffee break while they watched a magic school bus or david attenborough or some usually science based video. they would have their snack while they watched.

 

(at the end of the break i would put the next load of laundry in the washing machine)

 

then, i honestly can't remember, but i think it was language arts (we used "teach your children to read well" - it combines phonics and fluency and comprehension and short written answer work), with each while the other spent 15 minutes in their rooms picking up. we started this when they were very little, so by ages 5 and 7, they knew what to do. flylady has a list for kids that works well, too. ). then, we'd switch.

 

then after that, i suspect it was whatever the activity of the day was for Five in a Row. or maybe the activity for the story of the world. whatever it was, it was an activity. i know sometimes it was an art activity from FIAR or from the theme of the week. then play time until lunch.

 

(i'd hang up the second load of laundry, run hot water in the sink so the lunch dishes could be cleared into the sink)

 

at lunch, they each got to choose a book for me to read aloud.

after lunch, 1 hour of happy horizontal hour. (everyone happy and horizontal in their beds).

 

(i loaded dishes into the dishwasher while making sure the dc were settled, then i had happy horizontal hour, too)

 

then we did printing/cursive work and played listening skill games and art.

 

then, most days we were done. they would have dance classes and gymnastics classes, etc, etc. some afternoons were play dates or park days. they also both started suzuki violin at this point, so we wove in two 15 minute practice times each day for each of them. that was their "go to" activity if they were finished what they were doing and i was still working with another one.

 

then, at 2:30 we drove to the high school and picked up dd 18. we listened to skip counting tapes, more music, more history, more language.

 

then i got to do AP calculus, AP american history, AP biology, etc, etc, etc. with her. (i brought in both loads of laundry and folded, sorted and put away while working with her)

 

but every afternoon at 4pm, i got 30 minutes outdoor walking time with the younger ones.

 

(then, i made dinner)

 

each year, i would spend about two days scheduling until it all fit well without me losing my mind, and then tweak it until it worked well.

 

hth,

ann

[6packofun]

The OP asked the question, "is it selfish?"

 

I answered that I didn't understand the concept...I didn't dismiss anything...just saying that I don't understand it.

 

Are you honestly saying that you don't understand that some human being mothers want or need a little time to themselves without taking care of the needs of others and you've never experienced that? You don't understand the "concept" of, say, reading a book without little people in the same room making noise or taking an hour to participate in a hobby for oneself? LOL Really?? I think people are having a hard time believing that you don't *understand* it, not that you personally don't ever need to be alone. :confused:

 

I can understand perfectly why some women want to work and not be home full-time with their kids, but I sure don't willingly choose it for myself or *want* it. I don't pretend that it's not in the realm of understanding because that's dishonest and condescending.

[prairie rose]

I can understand perfectly why some women want to work and not be home full-time with their kids, but I sure don't willingly choose it for myself or *want* it. I don't pretend that it's not in the realm of understanding because that's dishonest and condescending.

 

Not everyone needs alone time to recharge. Some people need interaction with people to recharge. I can think of one friend of mine in particular that when her youngest daughter went off to Kindergarten she had a very hard time. All that time to herself during the day made her crazy....within the first week. She needs interaction with people, particularly her children, so she started out volunteering at the school and eventually took a job at the school, not because she wanted alone time but because she could interact with others and her kids all day.

 

She couldn't understand how someone could want alone time any more than the OP can probably understand how my friend can deal with the constant interaction. Different strokes for different folks but I fully believe there are people out there who can't understand the need some people have for alone time.

[coffeefreak]

THANK YOU so much for all your wonderful advice ! I need to take notes . Some of you gave me excellent ideas and I really need to apply them.

 

Mostly I agree - I need a break. We are going to the beach today :)

 

We use CLE &Singapore with some Rightstart sprinkled in.I like them all and cannot give up any .

FLL , Phonics Pathways for the youngest and WWE&CLE LA for the oldest .

Then there is Bible , handwriting , science , history , reading aloud ,memorization, etc . If there is any time or energy left .

Then piano lessons and gymnastics . They love both but I hate driving .

 

 

I will consider BJU DVDs for next year but I am not sure if this will make it easier ...

 

I'm glad that you're taking a break today.:):auto:

 

OK - Look at your list up there. It is a lot. Do you do all of them everyday? That would burn anyone out.

 

Also - your comment on "I like them all and cannot give up any". Gently - if you put them in ps you would be giving them all up. So - you might consider paring down and giving up some of it for your own health's sake so that you can have your kids home with you.

 

:iagree:

 

Jean is right. If you HAVE to have all of the above subjects, then I would start looking into all-in-one curriculum. They have everything you're doing AND they schedule it all for you. I would try that before quitting. I know people who work full time and homeschool using A Beka or Bob Jones. It might be worth it. You can even start mid-year.

 

Blessings!

Dorinda

[delaney]

Can I suggest(from very limited HSing knowledge) that you take 2 of them and group them together and do LLATL with both at the same time? If the 6 can read put the 6 & 7 together. I find that really all you need for grammar and all of that is really in that curriculum! That way you could do language arts for only 2 sittings instead of 3. Make history your read alouds and do 2 days per week with that and only 2 for science. Next year switch. Math you can group some together as well. You can do this and I understand your frustration. I am adding a preschooler to the 5th and 1st grade mix right now while the 2 year old wrecks the house. Make Fridays a catchup day and have hubby help on the weekends fill the gaps? Or just skip Fridays and do light schooling all summer when you have time?:grouphug:

[Susan in KY]

I speak two foreign languages and I think my kids should speak at least one , I don't talk to them in my native language , it was my mistake since they were born ,but when I used to do it , my hubby who is American , would always ask me what I say so I stopped.

 

Implement a time every day, say lunch time, where you *only* speak to them in your native language. You may have to exaggerate a bit to get the point across, but do things and talk about them as you do them. At those ages, they can pick up the language at near-native or native levels. You do NOT need a curriculum for it.

 

Google "Total Physical Response" (a language learning method) and adapt the concept for your kids. Go heavy on the context clues. They'll learn a LOT in a short time.

 

On the other stuff, just aim to hit science once a week and include all levels as they are able. Do the same for history. Make it easier on yourself. I have two about 1.5 years apart, and I keep them together for everything except Math. I just expect a bit less of the younger one. Sometimes, she blows her older brother out of the water.

 

Honestly, at those ages you're doing great to get them reading and figuring. They will be no worse for wear if you delay writing and grammar and whatnot, and you'll be glad you did when they pick it up in no time when they're just a bit older. Really. I am so glad I didn't sweat that and focused on the basics. It was better for us all, and we had a lot of fun.

 

Relax! They're only little once! Oh, and enforce afternoon quiet time.

from SWB on the subject. It will save your sanity.

[JenniferB]

I only read page 1, so please excuse me if I repeat someone what someone else said. I suggest you get help for your 18 month old for 2 hrs. per day. Maybe enroll him/her in a pre-school/toddler school. When my oldest was 18 months old, I had to work full-time, and we put her in a school called Montessori for Toddlers. It was a good solution for me and my husband to get the work done at our business that needed to get done, and it was temporary. We pulled her out at age 3 when I went to work from home.

 

I totally understand the need for alone time. I faced some serious burn-out last Spring. I noticed I was at the end of my rope when my husband was asking for more "attention." I had to tell him that I felt like I had nothing else to give of myself. I felt like I was dying on the vine. He immediately signed me up for my own gym membership, and told me that I could go any evening I wanted to, just to get away. I can sit in the sauna, swim, or exercise. I decided to start working out, and 6 months later, I have lost 15 lbs., I feel much better about myself and my life, and I am able to "give" to my husband again, and enjoy myself. Life is much better for me with some alone time.

 

I totally understand where you are at. I don't think PS is the answer, but I won't blame you if you choose that. You have to choose what's best for your family, and you are a big part of the family.

[Laura Corin]

I do understand. As a fellow introvert, even having two children constantly with me was often very difficult. Some ideas if you want to continue home educating:

 

- Cut it down to the bare minimum (3Rs is fine at this age) and do the rest by scattering. Make sure that you have a basket of great library books waiting for your children about all the subjects that you feel guilty about not reaching. Invest in art supplies and put them where your children can reach (and clean up) easily.

- Think about just doing one subject beyond the 3Rs, once you are back on an even keel. Decide what's important to you and dive in. Maybe you can do history one year (semester, month) then science the next. Suddenly you only have four subjects to teach, not all those guilt-inducing others.

- Institute, and enforce, quiet time after lunch each day. You need it, and your children need you to have it in order to get you through the day.

- Relax - your children are young and it sounds as if they are doing very well.

 

My children are in school now. Some thoughts:

- Calvin went to school in order to hear other adults' and children's ideas about subjects and the world. He already knew what I think. I am glad that he didn't go earlier: he is literate, polite and (according to all his teachers) astonishingly mature. When he was in school when he was small (up to age 6) he was frightened and at-sea. I'm really glad that - with his introverted personality - he had many years at home to find himself.

- Hobbes went to school because we felt it was not right for him (with his personality) to be at home alone once Calvin went. It would have been very hard on me too, as he's a constant talker and I find him wearing to be around all day, much as I love him. He loves school, but I'm a little sad that he is missing out on some of the learning experiences his brother had. I still assign reading in the holidays and arrange private tutoring in Chinese, but otherwise I have stepped back.

- Each has learned some things at (private) school from other children that I might have preferred to avoid. They both have strong values, however, and are holding on to what our family believes is right.

 

Best wishes with your decision,

 

Laura

[....]

Hi. I have a 3rd grader, 2nd grader, K-er and an early 3 yro. We also do a lot of schoolwork, take a lot of field trips, are in a homeschool group, take enrichment classes, etc - you get the idea. I think you could say that we are pretty rigorous with our schooling.

 

The only way this works...is if you completely stop what you're doing every few weeks, change gears and let everybody decompress. This sounds dumb, but it works. Every 5 weeks or so, we take a week off from our "curriculum" and we do some really fun stuff. Here's some examples:

 

One week, we checked out like 20 library books about Native Americans, the Spanish Conquistadors, Christopher Columbus, stingrays, scorpions, spiders, tadpoles, you get my drift. I read several novels to them too that week - Indian in the Cupboard, etc. After we were finished reading, we went to the park - every day. My kids had an absolute blast.

 

We had a week when all we did was art - independently. I would print out a syllabus with artists they had to research and an assignment based on that artist's style. For example, my daughter had to research Mondrian Art, view samples of his paintings and then make her own "Mondrian-inspired" painting. My daughter thought that was awesome.

 

We had a Leonardo da Vinci week. We read a biography about him, took an online tour of a da Vinci museum in Europe, looked at his machines and inventions - talked about how they worked, viewed his famous paintings and talked about those, we did experiments on Mirror Writing, each kid designed their own "da Vinci machine", each kid painted their own self-portrait and we ended up taking a field trip to a da Vinci exhibit at a Science Center - they had all the machines and stuff for the kids to try. It was also very awesome.

 

We also took a day off last week and watched The Karate Kid :leaving:. Shhh...that wasn't part of our curriculum.

 

I'm also planning out an Albert Einstein week soon - that would be easy to implement. There's tons of material out there on him.

 

Oh, yeah...did I mention we do "school" with another homeschooling family once a week? This family we work with is incredible. Do you have any good friends who homeschool? Is there a good support group or homeschool group in your area?

 

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. I'm definitely not a homeschooling expert, but I've never seen my kids as happy as they are now (and we did go to ps for 2 years). And, you're looking at all-in-one curricula, have you looked at Oak Meadow? You mentioned BJU also. I always liked them too, but we've never used their DVD program.

 

Good luck!

Edited October 16, 2010 by starrbuck12

[NightOwlMama]

I understand also, another introvert:) My kids still pass out for short naps so I can some time to take a breath. This is a great place to get ideas and I hope you get some relief soon. Saying a prayer and sending a hug:)

[JFSinIL]

I have four kids. Only ONE year where they all four at home....:willy_nilly:

maybe with older kids who can do a lot of work on their own it would work - not with younger ones!

 

Most years I only had two or one at home. The youngest did go to preschool and kiddiegarten while I worked with her older siblings at home (one kid is special needs and in at a school specializing in special needs.) Who went to school and who stayed home each year depended both on the needs of the child and the offerings at the local schools.

 

You could send the 5-yr-old to K and/or 1st grade (depending on the local schools for 1st) while continuing to work with the older two. Don't beat yourself up about a foreign language or art - we only did art on Friday afternoons if everything else was done for the week, and Rosetta Stone has proven an expensive bookend. (OK, now that I have gone back and reread all the posts, I see that you yourself have multiple languages, so the desire to give your kids a foreign language makes more sense. Just talk to them in your native tongue when hubby is not home, esp. the youngest.)

 

I got science and history in by alternating them, with history m/w/f and science t/th. As much as possible I kept the kids together for these topics.

 

Writing/reading was folded into history/science as much as possible, too. Saved time that way.

Edited October 16, 2010 by JFSinIL

[Guest JulieT]

As a fellow introvert who was advanced in PS, I have a couple thoughts to share. PS was a fairly negative experience for me, and I went to the "good" school. In kindergarten, my teacher complained to my mother that she "didn't have time to teach me." I kid you not. My 82 year old mother still talks about it when I complain about how poorly I think homeschooling is going.

 

I was always sent to the higher grade classrooms for reading and math (my parents didn't want to advance me grade-wise because I was smaller than my age-mates). I was then pulled out of class for "gifted" once a week. These accommodations resulted in the other kids regarding me as different and I was a target for bullying.

 

That is why I now homeschool my children and although it isn't easy, they are thriving. When they were young, we concentrated on the basics and pursued their interests. Now I am more structured with the oldest (12 y.o.) and have added more to my 8 y.o.'s assignments.

 

As for alone time, it is a constant struggle, and I often feel overwhelmed. I understand your feelings perfectly. I even considered sending them to PS, but then my husband and I recalled our experiences. Now, I plan to attend my state's Christian homeschool convention each year. It is over Mother's Day weekend. My husband takes Friday off work to spend with his girls and sends me to a hotel for 2 nights. He views it as a mental health weekend and teacher training for me.;)

[FlockOfSillies]

DING! DING! DING! Jean's response FTW!

 

OP, there are lots of good math programs out there. There are lots of good LA programs out there. But you can't possibly do them all. Your kids will still have a solid foundation in math and LA if you do only one program, as long as that program is solid. KWIM?

 

My advice is to choose ONE for each subject (plus phonics for your K'er). And pick the one they can do the most independently. Dump RS math. You'll be amazed at how much time you have for history and science.

 

How much time are you spending on each subject? At these ages, aim for 20 minutes, tops for the 1st-2nd graders. Maybe 15 for K. Leave your K'er out of the grammar and writing assignments. Dip your toe into FLL 1&2 in the spring. For K, you don't need to do anything more than phonics, handwriting, and math, with history and science thrown in for exposure. When your K'er is done, have him play with the toddler while you wrap up with the older two.

 

But whatever you do, be flexible. "It must be this way or I have failed homeschooling and must put them in PS" is a recipe for burnout every time.

 

Hugs and good luck.