Jean in Newcastle Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I started a thread last night about my friend who had a difficult labor and delivery. She is in one hospital recovering from a C-section and a uterine infection. Her son is in another hospital in the NICU, being evaluated for possible brain damage. She has not seen the baby for more than a glance. Should I take a gift when I see her today? Do I take something for the baby too? If you think I should take something - then what should I take? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flobee76 Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 From my experience, only family members are allowed to visit babies in the NICU. I would hold off any gifts for the baby until the baby is home. As for your friend, I think a gift would be lovely. Something small (able to transport it home), but meaningful. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 What about a nice journal and pen for your friend to journal all that is going on? I would avoid flowers or "baby-related" gifts. Does she have a favorite food/treat? What about an inspirational book? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam L in Mid Tenn Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Flowers are great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I would take a gift for her and something for the baby. Is there a chance that the baby won't live? If so, that's a little trickier. But, if the baby's chances are good for survival then I would bring a cute outfit. Brain damaged or not, we're still talking about a baby who will need to be clothed and loved and celebrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I would also consider a gift of food. Hospital food is awful, and/or if she has other kids at home, it might be nice to help out with them by bringing them food. I am sure she will appreciate your visit most of all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansamy Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Flowers are great! Not really. If she's not a frou-frou frilly girl, she couldn't care less about flowers. To me, flowers tell me that they don't really know me but felt obligated. I'd rather have a book, a journal, a pen, polaroids/video of my baby, personal care items for me. (Hand lotion, lip balm, good shampoo/conditioner, SOCKS!!) Also, the food thing above is good. Hospital food does suck. So, a nice gift basket of her favorite snacks would be nice. (Ask someone if you don't know what she likes.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I don't know if your friend goes to church with you or at all, but one thing that was done at a shower, and meant a lot to me, was a small journal that had been passed around the ladies at church and each wrote a prayer in it for my child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I don't think you have to take a gift: the greatest gift is your presence, your willingness to be present during a time of suffering: your tears, your touch, your prayers, your love. If you would like to take something else as well, that is a garnish. You might offer services to the other children, etc. I would tend to do that more than something concrete. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susancollins Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 My son was born at 35 weeks and I recieved lots of cards. One of the gifts I got was a Bath and Body works gift set and it felt so nice to get something for myself. I had a difficult birth and I felt sub-human. I would fix a little basket with burts bees lip balm, a journal, pens, snack food, lotion, maybe a dvd or a book. Hugs for you and your friend. Thanks for being such a sweet and caring friend to her. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 A gift for her sounds good. I like the idea of a prayer journal full of prayers for her baby. I think something to pass the time in the hospital is usually welcome (book, magazine, word search &tc). Or else, something soothing, like lotions or other good smelling things. :grouphug: Your presence and the fact that you care enough to go, though, will mean the most to her. I don't know if your friend goes to church with you or at all, but one thing that was done at a shower, and meant a lot to me, was a small journal that had been passed around the ladies at church and each wrote a prayer in it for my child. I like this idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I agree with the others. Snacks, a few personal care products, something to do (books, magazines, etc) are good ideas for mom. Personally? I take something for baby in situations like this, a blanket embroidered with baby's name to the hospital. Mom and baby can use it in the hospital. It's a keepsake with memories attached no matter what happens. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 28, 2010 Author Share Posted September 28, 2010 Update: My friend is being transferred to the same hospital where her baby is! Yea! I hope this means that she can see him really soon. So we will not be going today because the whole transfer and settling in process will be very tiring for her. I talked to the dad too. The baby is not in danger of dying. And while the EEG shows some abnormalities, baby is responding to his dad's voice and is a feisty little guy. Apparently they are doing some new treatment to allow the brain to cool and rid itself of toxins. Then they will test again to see if there is any residual damage. I will definitely be getting a gift for her and the baby for when we do go to see them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Update: My friend is being transferred to the same hospital where her baby is! Yea! I hope this means that she can see him really soon. So we will not be going today because the whole transfer and settling in process will be very tiring for her. I talked to the dad too. The baby is not in danger of dying. And while the EEG shows some abnormalities, baby is responding to his dad's voice and is a feisty little guy. Apparently they are doing some new treatment to allow the brain to cool and rid itself of toxins. Then they will test again to see if there is any residual damage. I will definitely be getting a gift for her and the baby for when we do go to see them. That is all really good news :) Still praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm glad things are looking up for the little guy. When you go take something for both mom and baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Update: My friend is being transferred to the same hospital where her baby is! Yea! I hope this means that she can see him really soon. So we will not be going today because the whole transfer and settling in process will be very tiring for her. I talked to the dad too. The baby is not in danger of dying. And while the EEG shows some abnormalities, baby is responding to his dad's voice and is a feisty little guy. Apparently they are doing some new treatment to allow the brain to cool and rid itself of toxins. Then they will test again to see if there is any residual damage. I will definitely be getting a gift for her and the baby for when we do go to see them. :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I would take something cheerful and normal like you would for any other friend of yours who had recently had a baby. As a mom with babies born early and in the NICU for 3 weeks, please tell her congratulations when you see her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britomart Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Flowers can still be wonderful when you have babies in the NICU (my last two were in for a month when they came) because it says that there's still something to be happy about: the baby is here and loved and the mom was brave through the labor (and it's OVER). So, if she likes flowers, flowers are certainly appropriate. I know the ones I received while I was missing my girls (because I was in recovery and they were in intensive care) meant a lot to me. If you know what she likes to read, a book to pass the time till she's well enough to be with her baby can help too. Alternatively, one gift I still remember after my first labor was food. My husband's grandpa brought me fresh-squeezed, iced orange juice from his trees and it was SOOO good. Something that's not hospital food, like a PP said, can fit the bill exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 One of the favorite gifts brought to me while AT the hospital was a couple of balloons with chocolate. I liked the balloons because after the first of second baby, people just don't do much for you when you have a baby! And no one really thinks of getting you balloons. And of course I loved the chocolate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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