Getting it all done

[swellmomma]

Okay ladies, especially those of you that work outside of the home. how do you get it all done? Work, school, housework, meal prep, family time plus extra currics? I know that long ago I figured it out when I was working but I had 1 less kid, only a 5 minute commute(rather than my current 30 minutes), and almost no extracurrics.

 

I have been working for 2 weeks now, doing the split shift which I love, it means I work in the am for 1.5-2 hours, drive 30 minutes bcak home, do the kids lessons with a lunch break mid-day. At 2:30 we drive 30 minutes back to work and work for 3 hours. Then 30 minutes back home to eat dinner. 3 nights a week we have extra currics, the rest of the time I am exhausted. My housework is suffering, family time is suffering, meals are dismal. How do you get it all done, and done well? I don't want things to simply be "good enough" kwim. We were on a decent routine, menu etc when I was home fulltime and not working, but I can't seem to make it work now. I want our home to be our sanctuary when we are done with work and school for the day but right now it is more like a war zone.

[bairnmama]

:grouphug: Wish I could tell you.... but I don't get it all done either. I've slept on the couch for way too many nights because my bed is full of clean clothes that need to be folded and put away and I'm just too tired to do it.

 

Today we got up, did K w/my ds, drove to speech therapy (both kids have their appts today at least), picked up my extra student and drove home for school with her and dd, drove into town to work for 2 1/2 hrs, came home to read stories and get the kids to bed. I'm DONE and tomorrow is even worse - 2 art classes to teach, 4-H (between previously mentioned art classes, but in the same bldg/room), school w/extra student, and gymnastics in the evening.

 

Right now I'm supposed to be preparing for my art classes and getting work together for my extra student to do on the days she doesn't come to my house, but I'm relaxing just a bit before getting to work on that.

[RoughCollie]

This makes me tired, just telling you about it.

 

I make a chart for each person, along with my own that has columns for each person. Down the right side go the hours, usually in 30-minute increments.

 

First, I fill in bedtime, what time to get up, when to eat meals. I then fill in standard appointments including travel time and getting ready to go time, schoolwork, chores, personal grooming (shower times for everyone, taking into consideration the schedule and the hot water heater & tooth brushing).

 

I have daily and weekly chore lists for each child and for myself. I try to make the kids' chores and the meals fall at the exact same time every day.

 

What is left over is free time.

 

My section includes time to help each child with his/her schoolwork -- and time to do regular housework, cooking, cleaning, meal planning, shopping lists, errands, laundry. Since the columns go straight across the page, it is easy for me to see what each of us are supposed to be doing.

 

I now schedule everything I do to take twice as long as I optimistically think it will. Or I schedule a certain amount of time for each chore, and stop when the time is up.

 

The biggest thing I do is to try to have the same routine every day. It's much easy to manage my time within the boundaries of a schedule and a routine.

 

This doesn't always work, but I do it anyway, being convinced that somehow things in my household will run smoothly forever if I can just master this.

 

My kids love this because they know exactly what to do, when, and most importantly for them, when they have free time. I am the fly in the ointment.

[Abigail4476]

I don't think I EVER get it all done. :tongue_smilie:

 

Being organized, scheduled and as clutter-free as possible helps. Declutter your schedule (e.g., learn how to say "No" to other people and other obligations), and don't feel pressured to have your children involved in every single extra-curricular activity available to them.

 

That's all I've got. :D

[workingmom]

I think you need to have a rough game plan. As far as meal planning at the very least on the weekend think about what you want to eat on the weekend and buy groceries accordingly. I've just started simple freezer stuff but only doubling an occasional recipe.

 

I make a weekly checklist of which subjects get done which day. The kids can pick the order.

 

I set aside time to work out in the home gym for myself 3-4 times a week. Sometimes its after the kids are in bed.

 

I have a housecleaner come every two weeks and we usually clean up the kitchen each night.

 

Laundry done on Saturday.

 

The days I work kids are doing extracurriculars and if we get homeschooling done, its extra but not scheduled those days. So if I get off early and pick them up then we may do a subject or two and that just gets taken off the other days.

[Pretty in Pink]

I don't work outside the home, but I do go to school four days per week. I'm still trying to figure out how to get the important bases covered. As it is, I am sitting here at 12:30 a.m. running two loads of laundry that we need in the a.m., I just finished straightening the main living area of the house (which I just did on Saturday...I have no idea what happened), and I'm tweaking this week's lesson plans for the kids.

 

I still need to finish studying for a big exam that I have tomorrow.

 

I am tired!

[Mandy in TN]

I am currently working two half days at the Kumon center. However, I don't want to talk about me.

 

T and Th I have a bonus student. Her mother homeschools and goes to school herself 4 days/ week (she is working on her masters). They also have two horses, 23 chickens, 10 sheep, and 3 dogs. She also cans and cooks.

 

I have no idea how she finishes as much as she does, but I do know that sometimes you must let go of some things to gain others. It may be that your house will just not be as clean as you would like it to be and that the meals will be hamburger helper or fast food for a while.

 

Keep this in perspective. This isn't your whole life this is a period in your life- a phase like when you have an infant that eats, poops, and only wants to sleep when you are awake. This will not last forever.

 

I know that my friend pretty much let me decide what I wanted to teach her dd. She had to make peace with the fact that although I love having her dd here that I just can't do all the wonderful cool things that she would love to do with her. However, I will love on her dd and make sure she knows that she is special.

 

Do as much as you are able to do while still taking care of yourself and loving on your children. Let the rest slide. IOW- don't worry too much about having a living room from the pages of Traditional Home.

HTH-

Mandy

[KidsHappen]

Well, I certainly can't tell you as I am currently not getting any of it done and even that is wearing me out. I have no idea how I did it when I was younger but I had a full time job and went to college full time while being pregnant and breastfeeding the middle two. I don't remember being as tired as I am now. I just keep telling myself that when the last two leave home then I get my life in order. :001_smile:

[Jilly]

I think it is important to realize that you probably will never get it all done. As a single mom who juggles many different responsibilities, I have come to realize this.

 

Instead of expecting the whole house to be clean, pick one or two rooms and focus on them. I usually work hard on keeping the kitchen and living room clean, and these rooms become our sanctuary. Also plan ahead for meals. One day a week I plan all our meals for the week and buy the groceries, so that during the week I am not going crazy with fixing meals.

 

Also remember that it is ok to drop some activities. Last year I was working and going to school full time. My time was very limited, and so I had to drop quite a few things that the kids and I wanted to do. It worked out though, and I think it was good for them to see how hard I was working. The kids grew to appreciate me even more, and they didn't seem to mind spending much of their free time at home.

 

I know it is hard. :grouphug:

[Greeny]

DH does school with the kids one day a week when I am gone ALL day. The other days I do school with the kids before I go to school. MEAL PLANNING MEAL PLANNING MEAL PLANNING. I always try to have meals that are almost ready to go on hand for the 4 nights a week we have extra circulars. For housework we have a housekeeper that has been coming once a week. Even with all of this there are nights we eat out and days the house is a bit of a mess, but I can't do everything all the time 100%.

[Negin]

I wish I knew. I don't work outside the home. I don't think I'll ever be able to get it all done. It is a question of priorities and right now I'm spending far too much time on these boards, but this is what makes me happy for now. The only way I could get it all done is either by cloning myself like in the movie "Multiplicity" - which is not a good thing, since the other versions of me would get rather stupid OR to get VERY little sleep, as in almost no sleep.

[sweetTN]

 

Being organized, scheduled and as clutter-free as possible helps. Declutter your schedule (e.g., learn how to say "No" to other people and other obligations), and don't feel pressured to have your children involved in every single extra-curricular activity available to them.

 

:D

 

:iagree: OK, being organized may be out of reach for me:001_smile:

[Heatherwith4]

Not to be discouraging, but I'm not a single mom, I have one fewer kid than you, and I don't work outside the home. That said, I *never* feel like I get everything done. Anytime I begin to get caught up, something will come along and derail everything. It's just a season of life, but some things just will not get done.

[Impish]

Crockpot was the single BEST investment when I was working.

[eternalknot]

Okay ladies, especially those of you that work outside of the home. how do you get it all done? Work, school, housework, meal prep, family time plus extra currics? I know that long ago I figured it out when I was working but I had 1 less kid, only a 5 minute commute(rather than my current 30 minutes), and almost no extracurrics.

 

I have been working for 2 weeks now, doing the split shift which I love, it means I work in the am for 1.5-2 hours, drive 30 minutes bcak home, do the kids lessons with a lunch break mid-day. At 2:30 we drive 30 minutes back to work and work for 3 hours. Then 30 minutes back home to eat dinner. 3 nights a week we have extra currics, the rest of the time I am exhausted. My housework is suffering, family time is suffering, meals are dismal. How do you get it all done, and done well? I don't want things to simply be "good enough" kwim. We were on a decent routine, menu etc when I was home fulltime and not working, but I can't seem to make it work now. I want our home to be our sanctuary when we are done with work and school for the day but right now it is more like a war zone.

 

I work outside of the home, and my commute is 5 hours each way. We have extracurriculars four nights a week plus weekend afternoons. My kids' dad lives too far away to be of any day-to-day help, but he helps financially.

 

I rely on family to help. My parents or siblings will sometimes bring food over or take the kids for a few hours so I can get caught up on housecleaning. I've reduced our school-week to four days so we can spend that fifth day preparing for the next week (errands, cleaning, cooking). My children (ages 4 and 9) are expected to contribute -- both kids help with chores and cooking, which are built into their school days.

 

I take one day a week and assign fluffy or independent type work -- watching science videos, doing art projects, make-up work from the week, et cetera -- and I take that time to prepare most meals and snacks for the upcoming week. In the few days prior my kids will have already prepped much of the food for me (chopping onions, etc.) It takes most of the day, and then everything is frozen or refrigerated for re-heating later in the week.

 

I feel no guilt having a weekly pizza night, usually at the end of the week when I'm dog-tired. I buy enough to last into lunch the next day, too LOL. I also feel no guilt about breakfast as dinner :D. I don't garden or can, but we do cook most everything from scratch. I find that dedicating a set time each 4-6 days to address it has helped a lot, rather than trying to find pockets of time every day to get it all done. It's so easy to just throw a frozen pre-cooked meal into the oven for 20 minutes, and add a five-minute salad or sauteed veggie side - kwim? Shoutout for crockpots, too. What a timesaver -- either oatmeal in the morning that cooked all night (what a lovely aroma to awake to!) or dinner in the evening, ready when you walk in the door.

 

For me the key is that I don't try to get it all done. I delegate :tongue_smilie:

[swellmomma]

THANK YOU everyone for your suggestions. I forgot all about my crockpot and I own 2 of them. TIme to pull them back out. Getting the kids to help with chopping up stuff ahead of time is a good idea. I really struggle getting them to pitch in, ds is more likely to climb out his window and vanish than to clean him room even with me in there helping him. As much as I want to feel like I don't need my home to look like it is spotless at all times, the fact is if CPS ever cme knocking again it really has to be. They expect it to be perfect, with perfect meals etc all the flipping time. I finally got rid of them I don't want them back.

 

I love the idea of 1 fluff day doing videos and independant work to get stuff done. I do not have family and friends closer than 2 hours from me so I can't rely on them, but maybe taking that 1 day per week, using my crockpots and finding ways the kids can help that won't result in mutiny I can do better than I am now.

 

This year I really cut back on extra currics, right after work Wednesday nights we drive 1 hour for dd to have her violin lessons, she is there for 1.5 hours so that is now also going to be our grcoery day, as that is the closest town with a Walmart. Thursday nights is kids church, and it is basically across the street from work. Saturday am is swimming, and Sunday night is TKD but that is only 1/2 block from home. I am trying to make Friday nights family night to just stop and hang out, but right now just want to get chores done rather than relax with the kids, not good.

 

I work (including drive time) from 7-9:30 am and then 2:30-6pm, which seems like I should have a lot of time left in the day but I never seem too, and I am on my feet from the time I wake up until I hit the pillow at night, so I know I am not wasting the time with idleness, there just seems to be so much to do.

 

This week I have also been trying to figure out how to get the yard winterized right away here, we already have frost in the mornings, and I have done nothing to prepare the way I normally would. I am going to work with the ideas you ladies have given me, and if anyone else has ideas feel free to chime in. I could use all the help/ideas I can get.

[dirty ethel rackham]

You mean we're supposed to get it all done? I thought that was a myth (and I work inside the home, both as a homeschooler and for profit.) So, that means "no, I don't get it all done."

[Rivka]

I have a dirty house.

 

We have a few easy meals in heavy rotation. I skimp on side dishes - we'll have bread and butter and raw baby carrots as sides a couple of times a week, instead of me actually cooking sides. We eat takeout once or twice a week.

 

I try to be streamlined in our outside activities, but don't do so well at that.

 

I don't know what I'll do when my daughter is older and needs more schooling, and my son is old enough to need schooling too. That will be more complicated.

[Karen in CO]

I have two kids at home, and two extra adults helping, plus I finally hired somebody to come in and clean everyother week or my floors would never be mopped.

 

Hubby and I both work fulltime. My mom lives with us most of the year. The house still isn't as clean as I'd like during the week. We started eating out twice a week just to keep my sanity when I started working during this schedule. We found two terrific, inexpensive, wholesome restaurants that we go to every week. I do extensive meal planning with lots of things in my dutch oven or quick things like stir-frys. I limit extra-curricular things to as few days and as few places a week as possible. They only take an art class if they can both take one on the same day at the same time - stuff like that.

 

Schedule in free time. Expect to be tired. DOn't expect to get everything done. SImplify.

Thats the best advice I can give.

[Violet Crown]

This summer, I got everything done. We were living out of the country, in a tiny place, with minimal dishes (one plate, one cup, two sets of silverware per person), minimal toys and books, exactly what we needed for clothes for each person and no more, and exactly what we needed for lessons (we homeschool during the summer).

 

I could clean the house top to bottom in one hour, including dishes and laundry. The kids could clear up their study areas and put away their toys in minutes. We had tons of time left over for travel and sightseeing.

 

And now back home I spend hours a day on all this stuff and it's never, ever done. :tongue_smilie: It seems almost like there was a life lesson in there somewhere.

[gingersmom]

I am a single parent with no family that helps out (even though they are nearby :confused:)

 

I plan out my meals a week in advance, food shop and try to do a little cooking on the weekend (then throw in freezer). Stuff like meatloaf, lasagna, meatballs stay really well in the freezer and are easy to rotate in/out of your menu).

 

Dust off your crockpot and start using it.

 

Most importantly-take 1 day just for nothing. It won't kill the kids to sit in front of a video. Then send them off for some fresh air and then to read a book, play in their rooms.

 

If you need to cut out 1-2 activities. It took me a long time to realize my kids did not need to be in speech/ot/swimming/skating/art/music/girl scouts all at the same time.