How do you deal with a difficult boss

[TCoppock]

I am in a frustaring work situation and I could use a little support and advice. I have been working for my company for about 8 years and really love the corporation. Recently though I have a new manager and she blatantly does not like me. There are actually a handful of employees, mainly those who have been with the company the longest, that she seems to be targeting. Whenever I go to work I am afraid of what the next days email is going to say. She told me in one email that she didn't like my facial expressions. Another email I was scolded because I mentioned something was against corporate policy and actually illegal. In that email she told me to keep things like this to myself because I was the only one who cared.:001_huh: She told another person she didn't like the fact they spoke with their hands. I had my yearly evaluation and she told me that I preformed my job excellently, but I had a negative attitude. I questioned what she meant and she said that I constantly critized others and that my expectations are much higher than others.:confused: I adhere to the policies of the company so my expectations for myself are in alignment with what the BIG BOSSES want. I am not sure why she thinks I critize others and she had no specifics she would give me. Actually, I am the person that they put new employees to train and am usually one of the people that my co-workers would come to if they needed help or advice. I have never had any complaints from previous managers and have actually worked directly under some of the top people in the company. Honestly, I want to continue to work for this company but this new manager is affecting my health. I am having panic attacks even thinking about work and am having difficulty sleeping. I don't know at this point how to handle the situation.

 

I know this was long, but really needed to get this off my chest.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would save these e-mails to a file and then forward these to one of the big bosses that you trust.

[joannqn]

I would save these e-mails to a file and then forward these to one of the big bosses that you trust.

:iagree:

[Dandelion]

She told me in one email that she didn't like my facial expressions. Another email I was scolded because I mentioned something was against corporate policy and actually illegal. In that email she told me to keep things like this to myself because I was the only one who cared.:001_huh: She told another person she didn't like the fact they spoke with their hands.

 

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.

 

Based on the specific items quoted above, I would make an appointment to speak with your Human Resources person as soon as possible (or the next level manager, if your company doesn't have an HR person). Making comments to employees about their facial expressions or that they speak with their hands is completely inappropriate IMO, and telling you to keep the problem regarding the illegal/corporate policy issue to yourself is a HUGE problem. She should be thanking you for bringing it to her attention and then take steps to address it promptly - not tell you to keep quiet about it.

 

If it were just a matter of her picking on you regarding your facial expressions and what she calls your "attitude", I would suggest giving her a chance to address these issues first before going to HR. But the matter of the illegal activity is not something you can just work out with her - that's definitely an issue for HR to investigate. If you don't bring it to their attention, you may end up being seen as complicit in this issue.

 

HTH and that you're able to resolve this!

[DawnM]

Oh my word! Agreeing with the others here.....take action.

 

I was in a bad immediate boss situation and finally left. I put up with it for 2 years too long! It was miserable. Life is way to short to put up with a bad work situation if you don't have to.

 

Dawn

[WishboneDawn]

How fortunate that along with difficult she's just not that bright. :) Save those emails and follow the excellent advice here.

 

I'm thinking that if she's targeting the people who've been there for awhile then she's likely insecure and/or not really competent and so takes down the good people around her to make herself seem better then she is. Topple the mountains so the trees seem tall kind of thing.

[Guest ME-Mommy]

How fortunate that along with difficult she's just not that bright. :) Save those emails and follow the excellent advice here.

 

I'm thinking that if she's targeting the people who've been there for awhile then she's likely insecure and/or not really competent and so takes down the good people around her to make herself seem better then she is. Topple the mountains so the trees seem tall kind of thing.

 

:iagree: -- don't let this go!!

[kalanamak]

I would save these e-mails to a file and then forward these to one of the big bosses that you trust.

 

:iagree: I can't tell you how often this kind of thing happens. IME: Give her enough rope and let her hang herself. Document everything. Get used to (practice) talking to someone who comes to ask you about this person in a way that sounds like you are calm and perplexed rather than frightened and angry.

 

Wait until someone comes to you, or she does something so far outside the pale (and witnessed or provable) the higher ups will be glad you came to them.

 

One other thought: workplaces often have what I call "the Big Schnauzer", a person who, while a good worker, does not tolerate foolishness and LOVES a good scrap. Luring this person into the BS's territory, so he/she/it gets a whiff of "bad boss" smell and goes after them can work, too. For this situation, I say "duck and let them shoot at each other". Big Schnauzers are usually co-workers that everyone loves to hate, but who they run to when the bullets fly.

 

There is someone I think is terrible at work right now (so does just about everyone else). I carefully frame how this person is hurting the ward, not ME personally. I bring up unprofessionalism, not boorishness. HTH.

 

:grouphug:

[kalanamak]

 

I'm thinking that if she's targeting the people who've been there for awhile then she's likely insecure and/or not really competent and so takes down the good people around her to make herself seem better then she is. Topple the mountains so the trees seem tall kind of thing.

 

Not to be dark here, but sometimes "hatchet managers" are put in place to make the old-timers quit....because they are paid too much per hour, etc, or because some new mucky-mucky wants greenhorns to manhandle (or spots to promote people into in to make them beholding).

 

When a jerk shows up, I always check who his/her friends are. Some times there is a cliche of jerks who guard each other's backs.

 

Can you tell I work for a large state institution?:D

[laurad1125]

:iagree: and :grouphug: I've been in bad boss situations and it stinks!

[G5052]

Not to be dark here, but sometimes "hatchet managers" are put in place to make the old-timers quit....because they are paid too much per hour, etc, or because some new mucky-mucky wants greenhorns to manhandle (or spots to promote people into in to make them beholding).

 

When a jerk shows up, I always check who his/her friends are. Some times there is a cliche of jerks who guard each other's backs.

 

Can you tell I work for a large state institution?:D

 

Think this through before you start complaining.

 

Years ago I had a friend quit over a harrassment issue when she realized that her first contact in filing a grievance was having an affair with the guy who hired the offender. When I consistently got bad performance reviews at one job because a co-worker was constantly stealing my work and telling my boss that I did nothing all day, I decided to just to look for another position because she carpooled in with the boss and I figured my stock was worthless at that point :confused:.

 

That said, there are times to tell the boss of a boss certain things if you know they will be handled properly. A lot depends on how well you know the higher level person of course and how much risk you're willing to take.

[OrganicAnn]

Document as much as possible. When she tells you something, try to get her to confirm it in an email - so ask a follow up email question.

 

Keep a diary of what is happening.

 

Make sure you inform her of anything that is done wrong and let her handle it or not handle it. So CYA on anything illegal or against policy by bringing it to her attention (via email so it is documented). Don't make a stink if she doesn't act on it or if she downplays it. Let her hang herself.

 

Follow your job description as much as possible. Don't take on additional work or stick your neck out (at least for awhile). Let the attention go to other people. Act happy. Smile. Don't let her know what you are feeling.

 

When you have some stuff that is really makes her look bad. Approach an upper level boss and try to bring things up in a professional way. But choose your battles.

 

Update your resume and be prepared for more problems.

[oldskool]

I would also document as much as possible. Is she new to the company or just to your department? If she is new to the company I would complain to HR soon because she may be within a probationary period. If they see enough complaints then it may give them reason to get rid of her. Sorry your going through this. A bad boss makes work so stressful. Hope it works out.

 

Lesley

[Gooblink]

Not to be dark here, but sometimes "hatchet managers" are put in place to make the old-timers quit....because they are paid too much per hour, etc, or because some new mucky-mucky wants greenhorns to manhandle (or spots to promote people into in to make them beholding).

 

When a jerk shows up, I always check who his/her friends are. Some times there is a cliche of jerks who guard each other's backs.

 

Can you tell I work for a large state institution?:D

 

The first time I read your post I missed the last line and was thinking that no profit seeking enterprise would waste time and money on such tactics. State institution - I gotcha. Tax $$ at work, eh?

[kewb]

Document, document, document. Save the emails. Print out hard copies and bring them home. Make an appointment with your boss to discuss what is going on. Come with an action plan to improve the relationship together. After the meeting summarize it in writing in an email and send to the boss. Print out a hard copy for your file. If nothing changes after face to face (make sure you document every time you do something that you agreed upon) go to HR. Life is too short for a bad boss situation. I lived it for 5 years. It was not worth my health. However, I was able to use my file to negotiate an excellent severance package.

[DawnL]

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation.

 

Based on the specific items quoted above, I would make an appointment to speak with your Human Resources person as soon as possible (or the next level manager, if your company doesn't have an HR person). Making comments to employees about their facial expressions or that they speak with their hands is completely inappropriate IMO, and telling you to keep the problem regarding the illegal/corporate policy issue to yourself is a HUGE problem. She should be thanking you for bringing it to her attention and then take steps to address it promptly - not tell you to keep quiet about it.

 

If it were just a matter of her picking on you regarding your facial expressions and what she calls your "attitude", I would suggest giving her a chance to address these issues first before going to HR. But the matter of the illegal activity is not something you can just work out with her - that's definitely an issue for HR to investigate. If you don't bring it to their attention, you may end up being seen as complicit in this issue.

 

HTH and that you're able to resolve this!

 

Yup! This right here!

 

As a youngster, I worked for a few months under a manager who didn't like me. In fact, she looked down on anyone who didn't have children, while those who were parents, like her, could do no wrong.

 

At one point, she wouldn't let use some of my sick time for a Dr. appt I had, and was insisting that I work extra to make it up. (Ironically, it was for infertility, so her attitude was especially hurtful) I knew it was against company policy, so I went upstairs and asked an HR person what I should do. They had a talk with her, and that manager told me within an hour that I could use my sick time. She never looked me in the eye again, but considering she didn't like me, it didn't bother me a bit!

[kalanamak]

The first time I read your post I missed the last line and was thinking that no profit seeking enterprise would waste time and money on such tactics. State institution - I gotcha. Tax $$ at work, eh?

 

Actually, I've known a few people who worked at start-ups done by ex-Microsoft people. A small group of cronies would be right below the owners, and would spend all their time and energy snowing them, and "riding that pony" until the business went belly-up. One friend said these types REGularly stole her ideas, promoted them as their own, looked completely shocked and then indignant if she stood up for herself, etc. etc. She bumbled through 4 companies that each went belly up before she decided to freelance, and has done very well.

 

I've also heard of hatchet managers in shops with a very tight union.

[Gooblink]

Actually, I've known a few people who worked at start-ups done by ex-Microsoft people. A small group of cronies would be right below the owners, and would spend all their time and energy snowing them, and "riding that pony" until the business went belly-up. One friend said these types REGularly stole her ideas, promoted them as their own, looked completely shocked and then indignant if she stood up for herself, etc. etc. She bumbled through 4 companies that each went belly up before she decided to freelance, and has done very well.

 

I've also heard of hatchet managers in shops with a very tight union.

 

:) I don't doubt it...but I don't get it, either. There was a time, here in Austin, when Venture Capital $ was so easy to come by that I could see stuff like that happening. Crazy. We're bootstrapping a business and while it's growing at a lame snail's pace, we are definitely not living high on the hog. I just can't imagine wasting resources on playing games.

 

As for union shops, and even large corporations, I can see a lot of politics and games - any place where it's difficult to fire non-performers.

[Barry Goldwater]

Easy to say, and hard to do, but here is my advice...

 

never let your boss realize that you are smarter than them...once I figured this out, I've had it made in the shade:).

 

Don't ask me HOW to do this for you! Every situation is different...good luck!!