Sigh...helping my college-age teenager make a decision...(very long)

[Julie in CA]

but if you could get a free, or nearly -free ride somewhere, it might be worth considering.

I would think that his current GPA would preclude a free or nearly-free ride, but even partial aid would make a big difference. I'm a bit more optimistic than I was earlier today (even though seeing the real number on how little we made last year was...discouraging. :glare:).

[LibraryLover]

I would think that his current GPA would preclude a free or nearly-free ride, but even partial aid would make a big difference. I'm a bit more optimistic than I was earlier today (even though seeing the real number on how little we made last year was...discouraging. :glare:).

 

 

Wishing you the best! :)

[kalanamak]

There's got to be a third option here -- a $30k per year private college can't be the only way to find oneself. What about interning or volunteering in the field in which he thinks he might be interested?.

 

Is he unflappable? Line staff at a state mental hospital is a job that often comes open, and might help him decide if psychology if for him or not.

 

Although I'm a non-believer, I'm regularly told I'm "doing God's work" (I translate this to mean "I'm glad someone is doing it, particularly someone who isn't me.")!:lol:

[TravelingChris]

I think that part of the problem is his age. He is not the typically age who are finishing cc. He started early and considering his grades, that may have not been the best idea. Since you have already said that the farm will not be going to him, I think it behooves you to figure out how to best get him raised as a productive adult. ALthough dairy farming is not an intellectual profession, it is many steps above being a laborer since normally the farmer owns his own business and acts like a business owner. Holding out for possible UPS jobs in the future doesn't seem like a viable option.

 

IF you are near the poverty level, he should be able to get financial aid and low interest loans for further education. ANother option could be to look at the National Guard or Air National Guard.

[Halftime Hope]

so you've been forewarned. :) No on the debt. Really.

 

I really think it is a mistake to incur $15K of debt for a semester of experimentation. That's a huge amount for 4 months.

 

If he would like to try something like that, I'd have him finish the AA, then really look around the country and see if can find some other less expensive options. If he is interested in a Christian college, surely there is some other option that is less $$$. In TX or some other lower cost of living part of the country, being an off-campus student at a smallish private college that doen't have exhorbitant tuition might be just the ticket. I just wouldn't go into a low paying field with a mountain of debt. Social work and counseling--low paying fields anyway--will also require an advanced degree for anything more than entry level work/wages, so he'd have to add that cost to the undergrad debt.

 

If this kid were mine, I'd have him finish the AA, then get a job and save enough for a year's tuition. He is young, the year off won't hurt him a bit, and by then he'll really "own" whatever decision he makes. You all might be able to help him with room and board for a semester, and then he could move off campus (usually less expensive when shared with apartment mates). Many of his upperclass peers will be off campus by their junior year anyway. Bottom line: if he is paying for it, he'll do much better because it is his investment.

 

If he just wants time away to think, or if he is really interested in spiritual development, could he look into one year programs such as Word of Life or Moody's ASP program or something else similar. (I'm not up on the cost, but Moody's cost is room and board only, I believe approximately $12-13K for an entire year; all tuition is paid.)

 

Another thought: could he work for a semester, save enough for tuition to get himself started at the Christian college with just a class or two next spring, and work full time on the side in the college's town. He might take summer classes next summer as well, as often summer classes have a lower per hour tuition cost. By then he might have enough of a feel for the college and what he might be interested in, yet not have incurred the $15K debt while doing it.

 

Thanks for listening.

[Laurie4b]

I would think that his current GPA would preclude a free or nearly-free ride, but even partial aid would make a big difference. I'm a bit more optimistic than I was earlier today (even though seeing the real number on how little we made last year was...discouraging. :glare:).

 

Actually, I think I read on WTM recently about a certain scholarship for kids making C's--the point of the scholarship was to motivate them to do better. And a poster on WTM had gotten that scholarship and it had worked. (I think it was one of the men who post here.) Vague memory, but you might want to post a question about scholarships.

[Starr]

Once he is accepted into a college there is money and loans based on income. While this is a large amount of money for one semester it might be his chance to take a broader look at his life. If he stays home and goes to work and starts planning a wedding it's not likely to happen. I would encourage him that you will help him find ways to finish his BA if he decides to go this route. He will have to study more. More jobs are available to those with a BA. If he works hard and shows interest his advisors will work with him to get any advanced degrees he would need. He doesn't have any job guarantees at this point. Going away will be very different for all of you. He will really need to focus on campus life and study. Unless he can come home for an afternoon he needs to spend most weekends at school. If he comes home for the weekend he will loose a whole weekend of study time and not develop the relationships you seem to want for him. I wouldn't do this if he isn't able to tell his girlfriend that he feels he really needs to concentrate on his studies. All night phone calls and I'm missing you tears won't make this work.

 

Praying for all of you as you make your decision.

[Julie in CA]

While this is a large amount of money for one semester it might be his chance to take a broader look at his life. If he stays home and goes to work and starts planning a wedding it's not likely to happen.

 

 

I wouldn't do this if he isn't able to tell his girlfriend that he feels he really needs to concentrate on his studies. All night phone calls and I'm missing you tears won't make this work.

 

The first quote above is one of my concerns. "If he stays home and goes to work and starts planning a wedding it's not likely to hapen."

 

As for the second, I don't forsee any all night phone calls or I'm missing you tears. :001_smile: Ds and his sweet girl generally see each other once on the weekend, attend church together, and have about a 20 minute phone call per day. She lives about 45 minutes away from us, and because of ds's work and school schedule they don't really see each other during the week.

[Starr]

Sitting here from afar I would do it if he's excited about going.

[Luckymama]

I'm deep in the college search with our current hs junior, so I've been reading a lot about financial aid.

 

There are two different ways that colleges/universities calculate students' need: federal methodology (FM--using the FAFSA, which results in EFC or Expected Family Contribution) and institution methodology (IM, which just means the school uses its own method for calculating need---for these schools you file a CSS/Profile form instead of or in addition to the FAFSA form). FM is designed to see who qualifies for federal grant and loan programs. It does not take into consideration things like home equity, small business OR FARM particularities, medical expenses, support for other family members, etc. CSS Profile schools can take those items into consideration-----whether it would be positive or negative for your situation depends on each particular school's "formula."

 

You need to read the Christian school's website very carefully. Check all pages concerning tution/room and board/fees, merit aid, need-based aid and so on. If you have any questions, call the financial aid department. You need to know BEFORE your son applies how the school will view your family farm as an asset.

 

Best wishes :)

[Scuff]

I'm all for experiences at this age. there's a freedom to up and go that he'll never have again. But $15,000 is a lot of money to go into debt. And what if he likes it? Are you prepared to go into debt $60,000 so he can finish? Will you do this for your other children too? I'd suggest that if this is what he wants to do (and it sounds like it is) that he take a year. Work at UPS full time, live at home, and stockpile $. He could continue to work PT and summers and might even be able to cash flow the entire cost. Or he might want to take a mission trip with his classmates and get a little debt. But it's him and he's doing it and making it happen. I went to CC and didn't have a car. I spent lots of time studying on campus. If he does decide to do a local U and live at home, he should probably stay at school to study and come home when he's done. That way dad's requests don't interfere with his job of school.

[Quiver0f10]

Well what does DS want to do? He is an adult just about to receive his AA. I;d lay it all out for him just like you did here and then I'd leave the descision and the making calls to UPS people, applying to college , moving etc all up to him.

[2squared]

I'm not pretending to have a teenager or to understand teenagers, but I did grow up on a dairy farm and was the first generation to leave the farm. I do understand that piece of your equation. My parents didn't know how to present life choices to me because they only knew of one life choice - farming. They didn't expose me to other options, and they certainly didn't know the first thing about getting into college. They completely supported my choices (emotionally, not financially), but they couldn't help get me to where I wanted to go. Back then you couldn't just google the answers either.

 

So, it sounds to me like your ds needs to move out. He may need to work for a while or he may decide that he wants more education right now. Until he sees and experiences more in life, I don't think he will be able to find a path. If going to the community college hasn't broadened his horizons, then a four year school might be a great option. I wouldn't pay $15K for him to do it, especially when there are so many affordable public choices.

 

I went to a large public university for four years. I didn't join the wayward crowds. I purposefully picked situations that minimized my exposure to those people - participating in campus ministry, choosing a quiet dorm, joining the honors program, picking a stringent major, etc. He can easily find "his" people at a public university too.