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I needed to write about this, but my blog didn't seem the place and my journal gets no feedback so I came here to my imaginary friends.

Thanks in advance for letting me get this off my chest somewhere. :crying:

So here goes.

 

My eldest's school arrived this afternoon. It was in 3 large boxes and I had to make room for it all on the shelves.

 

As I rearranged and boxed up books, I felt a sense of loss. Each book spoke to me as I removed it from the shelf. Each book had been carefully and lovingly chosen as a part of my daughter's education and each held meaning for me.

 

I had collected them all with great frugality and thrift, hunted down at curriculum fairs, used bookstores and internet used curriculum sites. Many had been heard about years ago, found and put aside for now.

 

Teaching middle school and high school was something I had been looking forward to teaching for a long time. The reward for the hard work of all the grammar and logic years. The adventure after all the prep work.

 

Long years of different issues with character ( hers and mine), learning battles and issues and for some time now, her health problems led Mike and I to chose a different path for homeschooling Rowan, at least for this year. We thought, agonized, prayed and talked over the decision and I truly think it is the right one for now. The home school in my head no longer resembled the actuality and something had to change.

 

For the first time she will not be following a classical, chronological study of history. Latin has been set aside for Spanish. The living books so carefully chosen are waiting now for our youngest and now 8th grade fits on a single shelf of dvd lectures, text books and teacher's manuals.

 

And foolishly, I am sitting amid boxes of books, with tears running down my face, mourning the home school in my head.

 

Thanks for listening. I appreciate you all so very much.

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Guest Alte Veste Academy

:grouphug:

 

Thanks so much for sharing this. It is powerful stuff for a newbie to hear--a reminder that the homeschool in my head needs to always allow for change and the personalities and input of each of my kiddos.

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