Mommyfaithe Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 go sledding with the kids play bake cookies make memories make decorations put up the tree do lapbooks garden landscape teach if you have to: wash the dishes clean up after the cat and dog do the bills vacuum shovel snow go to work drive kids to sports practices do the laundry cook the meals etc....etc...etc.... sigh..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Virginia Dawn Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Imo, you shouldn't be doing all that alone. Most of it can be done by or with your kids or in teams of kids. They certainly appear old enough to be expected to provide lots of cooperative effort. Me, I would skip the lap books, and go for periodic "days off" just making memories, which can include putting up the tree, making decorations, sledding, and cookies. With everyone working together, of course. Delegate and simplify. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Stuff to delegate to kids: wash the dishes clean up after the cat and dog vacuum shovel snow drive kids to sports practices (maybe older kids can help?) do the laundry cook the meals Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 That's been a popular discussion around our house this week. I don't have time for the fun stuff if no one helps me with the WORK! I don't know how to drill this into their little heads. If we don't buckle down and get our school work done TIMELY then we don't have time to make salt dough ornaments before it's time to clean up and make dinner! If we don't get our toys cleaned up TIMELY, we won't have time to bake all those yummy Christmas cookies before bed! My kids have speed issues. One's like molasses in winter and the other one moves even slower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 It takes all the things you are too tired to think about right now: delegation, routines, consequences, slightly lower expectations (if you're a swim mom, this is like having your fingernails removed with pliers), and saying "no" to the okay things that leave no time for the things that bring you joy. Faithe, swimming, teaching, and housework consume much of my time. You have more children and are working. That's really tough. Wishing you peace and sending you :grouphug:. I'd raise my mug of coffee and cheer you but I am not allowed to have coffee when I have to run the Colorado system for a meet, especially a 3-day International meet with your standard meet sandwiched between prelims and finals. Whoowhooo. Just picture it. Somewhere on the west coast on Friday, there will be a slightly demented- looking, caffeine-deprived mom with tremulous hands at the control panel. Hope that made you smile. Humor is good in times like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 That's been a popular discussion around our house this week. I don't have time for the fun stuff if no one helps me with the WORK! I don't know how to drill this into their little heads. If we don't buckle down and get our school work done TIMELY then we don't have time to make salt dough ornaments before it's time to clean up and make dinner! If we don't get our toys cleaned up TIMELY, we won't have time to bake all those yummy Christmas cookies before bed! My kids have speed issues. One's like molasses in winter and the other one moves even slower. YES!! This... And my big ones...while they could help, they can't. They are at school, work, studying etc. I know I need to get on the ball and organize...my house is completely de-junked...BUT it is still a mess...and I am so busy keeping the plates spinning....I can't think clearly enough to get everyone into gear to see that if they would ONLY DO THEIR WORK...we could play that **** game...or go apple picking...or do something FUN... I am NOT having fun! ~~Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 go sledding with the kids... since that would take a weekend trip up north, never. play after schoolwork, before nap/errands bake cookies probably this evening make memories all the time make decorations probably this weekend put up the tree the Saturday before the solstice do lapbooks never, not really our style. We go in for posters, though! garden hopefully after we move landscape Um...not lately, lol. teach in the mornings, unless I'm too sleepy after work, usually 3-4 days a week. if you have to: wash the dishes clean up after the cat and dog do the bills vacuum shovel snow go to work drive kids to sports practices do the laundry cook the meals etc....etc...etc.... have no cats or dogs, just a gerbil; bills take less than an hour a month, I horridly neglect the vacuuming, there is no snow here, DD does no more than one activity at a time so it doesn't take that much time to get her to it, and I don't cook as often as I should. For me, the real struggle is getting enough SLEEP and still getting the fun and the necessary done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 It takes all the things you are too tired to think about right now: delegation, routines, consequences, slightly lower expectations (if you're a swim mom, this is like having your fingernails removed with pliers), and saying "no" to the okay things that leave no time for the things that bring you joy. Faithe, swimming, teaching, and housework consume much of my time. You have more children and are working. That's really tough. Wishing you peace and sending you :grouphug:. I'd raise my mug of coffee and cheer you but I am not allowed to have coffee when I have to run the Colorado system for a meet, especially a 3-day International meet with your standard meet sandwiched between prelims and finals. Whoowhooo. Just picture it. Somewhere on the west coast on Friday, there will be a slightly demented- looking, caffeine-deprived mom with tremulous hands at the control panel. Hope that made you smile. Humor is good in times like this. OH MY GOD!!! WHY do they deprive you of COFFEEEEE!!!! Cruel and unusual punishment!!! We will be at a meet all next weekend...But I am not running anything....Just have to get my kids there on time... Then I think i will go sit in my car and take a nap...as long as it isn't snowing!! Have fun at the meet...sounds really awesome. i have never even HEARD of International meets...and my kids have been swimming for years and my daughter is a coach! I am going to go nag her about the NO COFFEE rule...AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! My prayers are with you....:blink: :ack2: Good luck to Swimmer Dude too!!!!! Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vettechmomof2 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 go sledding with the kidsplay bake cookies make memories make decorations put up the tree do lapbooks garden landscape teach if you have to: wash the dishes clean up after the cat and dog do the bills vacuum shovel snow go to work drive kids to sports practices do the laundry cook the meals etc....etc...etc.... sigh..... Easy. Ignore the dishes, they will be there later. The dog can help clean up after the cat:D Bills are done after kids go to bed. Vacuum gets scheduled in but really does not take long if doing the main living areas. Sports practices are scheduled accordingly for other chores to be done. Cook ahead of time, large enough meal that it will last for a few servings. Lunch,dinner and maybe next lunch with a slight change. That said my children have many of the chores to simplify my/our life BUT there are specific ones that I have not given over to them. We all work together though to get our chores done so that we can play. We have a family game/movie night that we do not skip regardless of chores BUT that time might have something else doen during it, like a snowball fight, baking cookies, etc. It can be done but you do have to delegate and realize your prioritites. I work 4 days a week, plus the homeschoooling so cleaning has taken a back burner state. Instead of cleaning up a little every day now I do it 2 days a week and any as needed. Still gets done but might not look as nice as before. Oh well. I still get to spend time with my children while getting the other things done. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 YES!! This...And my big ones...while they could help, they can't. They are at school, work, studying etc. I know I need to get on the ball and organize...my house is completely de-junked...BUT it is still a mess...and I am so busy keeping the plates spinning....I can't think clearly enough to get everyone into gear to see that if they would ONLY DO THEIR WORK...we could play that **** game...or go apple picking...or do something FUN... I am NOT having fun! ~~Faithe My dh does not consider the red and green signs currently posted around the house to be very classy decorations, but sadly, I find them necessary. They read: If you get it out, put it away, if it's yours, put it away, if you walked over it, put it away. I was where you are at about three weeks ago. And sorry, I don't care how busy the kids are, they can do all of the above. I have conducted demonstrations with stop watches to show how much longer it takes to put things away at their put of use. I had reached the point where I could barely speak in a civil tone. If looks could demolish, the kids would be be pushing up daisies. Since nagging is tiresome for me, I ask once and then put it away for the child. They are fined a $1 for each transgression. If they don't have money, they have an additional chore that is sure to take them longer than putting away the original item. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Eh...You are all right...I do get it...I just really need a good kick in my rear...and a nap...and then to get the show on the road. I will not yell...I will not get angry... I will just have my handy dandy garbage bags ready....and a nice empty pail.... Those stinky teenagers are going to clean up their mess...and i will gladly help them...bwahahaha... ~~Then go play in the snow!!! Faithe...who is going to work late tonight...and play tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 OH MY GOD!!! WHY do they deprive you of COFFEEEEE!!!! Cruel and unusual punishment!!! We will be at a meet all next weekend...But I am not running anything....Just have to get my kids there on time... Then I think i will go sit in my car and take a nap...as long as it isn't snowing!! Have fun at the meet...sounds really awesome. i have never even HEARD of International meets...and my kids have been swimming for years and my daughter is a coach! I am going to go nag her about the NO COFFEE rule...AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! My prayers are with you....:blink: :ack2: Good luck to Swimmer Dude too!!!!! Faithe Oh, it's just me that can't have coffee.:blush::blush::blush: You see I get rather nervous on those back to back 25's. You have about 30 seconds to shut off lanes for those littles who didn't touch the pad, store the data, reset the system, and advance the heat. Maybe in another 10 years, I'll relax. The good news is that by the end of this particular weekend is that you could drop a shock collar on me and I wouldn't feel a thing. Our annual International meet draws swimmers from France, Germany, the UK, and Mexico. Not so much the US because of the whole yards vs. meters thing. My kids have seen Paul Biedermann, Ryan Cochrane, and Megan Jendricks race at our pool. The starts are done over a 13 ft diving well, so the water is fast. We usually billet up to four Canadian girls at our house but weren't able to this year. One of "my girls" is on a full ride scholarship to Texas A&M. Sorry for the side track but it's an amazing weekend. Good luck to your kids as well, and do please get some rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 I've been implementing a more "team effort, team reward" type of approach lately. My kids are 9.5, 7.5, 5, 3, and 1.5. For example, "Once we clean up _________, we can go sledding/bake cookies/etc." I try to get enthusiastic and peppy. Sometimes we'll even do a team huddle and pump ourselves up with imaginary "super-charge fast cleaning potion". I'll assign specific tasks: "______, you're on shoe patrol. Pick up all the shoes and put them where they belong on the shoe shelf." "______, you're my super garbage collector. Look around the floor and pick up any wrappers, bits of paper, etc. and put them in the garbage." "______, your job is to collect all the toys/personal items and put them away." Sometimes I'll designate a baby-watcher, depending on the job. My toddler loves to empty the dishwasher (even if the dishes are dirty), so she needs some distraction while that's happening. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 My dh does not consider the red and green signs currently posted around the house to be very classy decorations, but sadly, I find them necessary. They read: If you get it out, put it away, if it's yours, put it away, if you walked over it, put it away. I was where you are at about three weeks ago. And sorry, I don't care how busy the kids are, they can do all of the above. I have conducted demonstrations with stop watches to show how much longer it takes to put things away at their put of use. I had reached the point where I could barely speak in a civil tone. If looks could demolish, the kids would be be pushing up daisies. Since nagging is tiresome for me, I ask once and then put it away for the child. They are fined a $1 for each transgression. If they don't have money, they have an additional chore that is sure to take them longer than putting away the original item. Lisa, these are great suggestions! Thank you so much. Faithe, thank you for asking this. Plus, I know it doesn't really help you out, but these last few days have been miserable for me with dealing with these exact same issues, and it was an amazing relief to me that I'm not the only one going through this. It was bad enough to feel invisible or disrespected, but feeling alone and freakish on top of it was killing me... not feeling so alone anymore. Thanks! I'll be praying for your peace along with some for me. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Easy. If the weather is perfect for sledding, we drop everything and go sledding - there are few great sledding days and they should be treasured. If we feel the need for cookies, I pull out the stand mixer and put the kids on the counter and they make cookies. I don't make decorations or do lapbooks. My house is a bit messy, but basically clean. I pay bills at night. I do laundry everytimeI have enough for a load. I don't put my kids in sports. Hubby shovels the snow, unless he is working at the office, then I shovel when It needs shoveling. I work on the days I am scheduled to work. I decide what is the most important and make time for that. This isn't just a series of chores or tasks - this really is your life. Enjoy it by making time for the things that are important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 go sledding with the kids We don't usually do this because it requires buying sleds and clothing that we can't afford and an hour-long drive each way. play I've found that I don't particularly like playing, but my kids have several free hours a day of play. School is from 9am to 3pm, divided into 30 minute time slots. I assign 30 minutes or less work in each subject. If they finish before the bell rings, they have free time until it does. They also get two 30 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch in there. bake cookies This is sometimes planned as part of our day because I consider "home ec" to be one of our school subjects. If needed, I'll plan two 30 minute time slots for a subject; the fun things often require this. make memories I include this as school as well. I don't have a problem taking a day, or two, or three each month to go on a field trip or play date or park day. We use weekends to do "field trips" as a family. We go to plays and holiday shows in the evenings. In fact, we are going to "The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever" tomorrow and "The Singing Christmas Tree" on the 20th. We went to "Journey to Bethlehem," which counted as both family fun time and school (history) last Sunday. make decorations I have some kits that we'll do a few evenings. I don't do dishes after dinner so after dinner time is completely free. Dinner dishes wait until the next day; it is easier for me to do them during the day. put up the tree We do that on Black Friday. I unwrapped ornaments and put hooks on them; the kids hung them. I didn't go in and fix any of them. DH put on the star. We have a prelit, artificial tree so that's all we need to do. do lapbooks My kids hate them so we don't do them. garden & landscape I don't like to garden. Gardening consists of deadheading the orchids (I think that's what I have out there...whatever they are, they grow without my help) and cutting them down when my much older neighbor looks like she's going to do it for me if I don't get to it first. teach I've taught my kids to be independent from the get go. They require one 10 minute math lesson on Monday and can handle math the rest of the week. Spelling is on the computer so all I have to do is input the words and test on Friday. As long as I am available to answer questions, most of the rest can be done on their own after they get their assignment. I get involved with science and history because it interests me and for projects/experiments. if you have to: wash the dishes I wash dishes whenever I can fit them in during the day, or before cooking dinner if I didn't get to them. My daughter is responsible for putting them away in the morning and any other time we tell her to. clean up after the cat and dog My son is responsible for feeding and watering the dog and cats. The kids take turns scooping the litter Monday through Saturday. DH does dog duty outside. I clean up hairballs, puke, accidents that happen indoors. do the bills Twice a month, I halt everything to balance the checkbook and pay the bills. It's the highest priority that day because, if I don't get it done, they will be late. vacuum I don't do this as often as I should, but it gets done like the bills. It becomes bad enough to become a priority. shovel snow It doesn't snow often here, and when it does, we don't shovel it. go to work I don't work and hope I never have to. drive kids to sports practices DH takes ds to taekwonod Monday through Saturday and takes dd to computer class every Monday. Occasionally, he'll call and say he can't take dd so I'll have to scramble to get out the door. Occasionally, he'll call and say he can't take ds and I'll either take him or give him a day off. do the laundry I do one or two loads a day. I fold it on the dining room table and everyone is responsible for putting their own away. I lay the hung items over the backs of chairs...a pile for each person...and they hand their own. DD and DS can both do their own laundry so sometimes I have them do it themselves. cook the meals The older two can get cereal or toast on their own. They help my 2 year old get cereal for breakfast as well. I make sandwiches for lunch. Sometimes I have the older kids make them for everyone. I cook dinner by having baby in her chair, with the older two kids, or with DH. etc....etc...etc.... sigh..... I think the key here is to enlist help and expect it. No one can do it all. In our house, we've made decision on what each person can do to help or what things we can do without. Doing dishes after dinner is skipped because we'd rather have down time, for example. We do without a lot when we live on one income. DH works for himself which enables him to help, but that has come with sacrifices too...we have no insurance and, for the last year, he has not made enough to support us. We cashed out his IRA to help cover the bills until he can. For me, I had to get to a point where I was just tired of the status quo. Once I got there, I made the necessary changes. Some changes were getting more help from the kids and DH. Some changes were establishing a schedule/routine with the school bell program to keep us moving forward. The biggest change has been me...I'm accomplishing a lot more these days. I was where you are. You can do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I don't play, sled, decorate the tree, do lapbooks, shovel snow, landscape, or make decorations. I do bake cookies and other things, garden (not much now in the cold), and teach. I also cook, sometimes shop, and do part of the care of the animals, My kids do the other part of caring for animals, decorate the tree along with dh, play, sled, shovel snow, and make any decorations that they want. I don;t like to decorate trees, play, sled, do lapbooks, make decorations, or shovel snow so I don't. I do teach, do most of the cooking (at most one meal a day), do some of the shopping, do some of the laundry (usually my own and linens), all the gardening since that is what I like, and most of the baking (I like that too). THe others like to decorate and I don't so I don't have to. Even if I wanted to go sledding, I don't since snowy weather and my arthritis don't mix well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Hmm... Okay, this year I decided we were going to try and really enjoy this month and not get all stressed out. So I: Limited our committments-we are doing 1 HS Christmas party, and making cookies for 4H (I declined to be part of the cookie exchange & make 9 dozen) Made a list of our priorities-we wanted to volunteer (4H at nursing home, cookies for libraries fundraiser), be in the church Christmas program, make homemade gifts, decorate, make treats for us I took a bread from our regular schoolwork except for math & LA, and ordered a bunch of Christmas books from the library. Also, the homemade gifts & treatmaking is part of our "school" We decorate the tree & house Thanksgiving weekend and it's fine because we don't go anywhere Thanksgiving The housework is always a bit of a problem, but the dc are expected to pick up their rooms every afternoon, they help with minor chores, and the rest get done when we're having company!:D (Which is this weekend, so the house should be pretty clean for Christmas) Sledding & playing in the snow is a priority, because the dc really need exercise time and love to be outside, especially in the snow. The one good thing about dh working from home, is that he takes them sledding! They are allowed to go out after lunch, after we've done our work. The rest-I wing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 (edited) Clean three times a day. 1st cleaning is right after breakfast: make bed, start laundry, tidy bathrooms from showers, wash breakfast dishes. This can be done in under 30 minutes. 2nd cleaning is right after lunch: move laundry to dryer, tidy toy messes (or whatever messes the kids have done), wash lunch dishes. 3rd cleaning is right before bed: fold laundry, tidy any messes made in the day, wash dinner dishes, vacuum, do litter boxes. Do homeschool early in the a.m. (Start between 7:30-8:30) Only do 1 fun thing a day at the most, either right before cooking dinner, or right after dinner. Or do just one deeper clean a day. Like Monday is "dust" day in my house, Tuesday is "mop" day, etc. I only do one job like that a day. Even if it's 2 or 3 weeks between dusting and mopping--so what. It all gets done within a month at the very least. Things like cookies, tree, sledding, etc, would take a few weeks to accomplish. You can't do all these things in one day. You'd probably only have time for those things every couple of days. Bigger things, like gardening and landscaping, would have to require the help of other family members. You have enough people from 16 yo down, to help with that. Treat homeschooling and doing the fun stuff with the kids as a job. Unplug the phone and let all calls go to the answering machine during the day and guard that time. Edited December 10, 2009 by Garga Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Easy. If the weather is perfect for sledding, we drop everything and go sledding - there are few great sledding days and they should be treasured. If we feel the need for cookies, I pull out the stand mixer and put the kids on the counter and they make cookies. I don't make decorations or do lapbooks. My house is a bit messy, but basically clean. I pay bills at night. I do laundry everytimeI have enough for a load. I don't put my kids in sports. Hubby shovels the snow, unless he is working at the office, then I shovel when It needs shoveling. I work on the days I am scheduled to work. I decide what is the most important and make time for that. This isn't just a series of chores or tasks - this really is your life. Enjoy it by making time for the things that are important. Karen, you don't by any chance provide life coaching beyond TWTM board? You remind me of my Danish neighbor. She works hard and yet always has time to enjoy life. She puts things away at point of use and doesn't let things or issues build up. Things get done consistently and without a lot of fuss. Her kids aren't in a lot of extra activities and they always have dinner together. There was time for a cup of coffee in her tidy kitchen in the morning or a glass of wine in her garage while we watched the kids play and discussed politics in the afternoon. I also would never tell her how much time I spend on this board some days. I wish she hadn't moved to SC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 go sledding with the kids---I am praying for enough snow to go sledding and then we will drop EVERYTHING and sled play---I am not a good playing mommy. We all know and understand that. They play with each other. :D bake cookies---whenever I am having a happy day and know I won't get too irritated with their mess. We are making fudge tomorrow. make memories---every single moment make decorations---we will do a lot of Christmas crafts the week before Christmas, but I am not a particularly crafty person, so I don't worry about it put up the tree---last Sunday we went to the tree farm and the girls decorated the tree. It is lovely. do lapbooks---lapbooks are the devil garden---in the spring landscape---I let the dogs do the landscaping. They have made some lovely paths including one from the front porch down the fence to the mailbox. teach---between 9 and 1 every day, usually if you have to: wash the dishes clean up after the cat and dog do the bills vacuum shovel snow go to work drive kids to sports practices do the laundry cook the meals As for the above list, I try my best... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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