Guest fostermommyof1 Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Well, I have a bit of a dire situation here. I am a single woman and new foster parent. I've been caring for an 8-year-old girl for 2 months now. She is in the third grade and has been continually socially promoted in school yet she is at a Kindergarten level. I work full-time and am studying part-time to be an elementary-school teacher, so know about curriculum, etc. but am not fully a teacher yet. Anyway, despite many ongoing attempts on my part, the school is not budging and says that she will remain in the third grade classroom and be given third grade work. and I do not have the option of sending her somewhere else or homeschooling her. She is still in her old Title I school, but still almost her entire class is WAY ahead of her in reading, and she is isolated because of this. Her teacher complains to me that she "cries like a baby" for no reason. (Hello! Did you ever think she might be upset because she is forced to sit in a chair for hours and be given work she can't even understand?) Anyway, our schedule is packed. She goes to an after-school program, and we don't get home until 5:45ish. By the time we eat dinner, she is exhausted and just wants to watch TV ... and I don't blame her! I've been reading Harry Potter aloud to her every night which she enjoys, but I know she needs to be doing more then that outside of school, since she's not learning a THING in school. Should I try to cram in a half hour or so of phonics in the evenings, or would that be unreasonable and cruel? She is also very behind in math. I know I have the weekends, but even those are full and I feel guilty for taking away her free time ... God forbid she has daylight time to play outside and make friends in the neighborhood! Sorry for make this so long but I am out of ideas ... I tried to send workbooks with her to school to do while the other kids are doing 3rd grade language arts but the teacher won't have it, saying she needs to learn 3rd grade reading. But I have finished all my courses in teaching reading and KNOW that a child on a K level can't just jump into level 3 and be fine! If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know ... thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Can you get her caseworker involved? Can the caseworker talk to the school about an appropriate educational plan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Since evenings are so busy I'd try to do things in the morning instead. Even a half an hour or so every morning would help. Concentrate on the important things right now - reading and math. My girls are using HoP and enjoy it. Probably wouldn't have been my first choice they are learning to read with it. We're also doing Singapore Math 1A and I'm delighted with it! If you'd like to get some history in you could always get Story of the World on CD and listen in the car. You'd enjoy those too. Really not important at this point though. Good work on reading in the evenings. Keep that up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 I tried to send workbooks with her to school to do while the other kids are doing 3rd grade language arts but the teacher won't have it, saying she needs to learn 3rd grade reading. Obviously the teachers just don't want to take the time to teach her. Check out the laws in your state- they might be required to get this child an ILP (independent learning plan, I think...) and teach her at her own level. I think it's time for you to be the squeaky wheel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fostermommyof1 Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Thanks all! The case worker is "working" on it but I've yet to see anything happen. And actually, believe it or not, she does have an IEP, which involves an aid who comes into the classroom to sit and basically do nothing except point to text as the teacher reads aloud to the class, and try to guide her through her 3rd grade work, but she still ends up in tears as she just cannot do the work; she is missing too many skills. I have watched this take place while volunteering in the classroom. Aggieamy - thanks, and I think I might try to start at least 10 or 15 minutues in the mornings ... it's better than nothing, I guess. Poor kid :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 I have to say that my son likes his leap pad.... I'm thinking that you could do phonics... just basics..... and some 2 and 3 letter phonics with her... let her play some phonics games on the leap pad.... (Some people don't even realize that letters "make sounds". My daughter... didn't read until 3rd grade, and she was in Public school..... and doing a phonics program. Yes, she could sound out words... but not read fluently..... Funny, Harry Potter is the book that made her want to read..... For math, I'd get some type of manipulatives... let her play with them... and then see if she can work on say.... all her ones at first.... then her 2's.... etc.... and then move on to subtraction... multiplication.. and division. If you make it fun...and try not to pressure her.... For math, if she likes to sing, you could get her math songs to sing...... How long does it look like you might get to have her? Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara R Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Is it possible to meet with the teacher and the aide, and see if the aide can do separate work with the student at the student's level, if you provide the curriculum? The worst they can say is no. The current situation obviously isn't working. It makes sense that if you don't teach a student on their level, they won't learn anything. They have an aide right there already on the payroll; maybe she could start to do something useful and teach the child the proper material if you provided a good curriculum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 See if she will do starfall.com at night. Also, they may seem too young for her, but the leapfrog videos are pretty good and she can just watch them and hopefully absorb some of it. I would work on Saturdays and Sundays with her; just an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. You are a gem of a person!:001_smile::001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 What about having her go to a tutor instead of the after-school program? I realize this might cost more money than the after-school program, but it seems like that is taking up a lot of time that could be spent to improve her skills. Maybe you know of a homeschooling mom who would like to earn a little extra money...using a curriculum you provide/choose. I second the suggestion to talk to the teacher & aide--the teacher really ought to be more understanding of the situation. I am shocked that she is forcing her to do 3rd grade work...is there a special education specialist that can get involved? And I agree with the suggestion of having the aide do more than just sitting by her seat...perhaps you could approach it as a trial--let's try having her focus on improving her skills rather than doing 3rd grade work--just try it for six weeks and then we can re-evaluate. I hope you find something that works! It makes me wish I were your neighbor, I'd be happy to have her come over after-school and work with her. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 I agree with trying to get 30 mins in if you can in the morning, over breakfast. Plus, put a basket of items in the car, from the pp recommendations: Leap Pad, other manipulatives, or even a mini-magna-doodle. In the evening, I think Starfall might be a great option. But by all means, keep reading at night. Put all requests to the school in writing, and keep a copy of all. And yes, you have to be a squeaky wheel. The child's caseworker does not likely have educational goals for this child as a priority, but see if you can get the cw to partner with you by keeping her/him informed, and showing that you are advocating for this child as well. From experience, you might have great luck getting the cw to attend a meeting with the school if you set it all up and do the leg-work. Remember, you are currently advocating for one child, whereas they are working with a much higher number of children, and priorities have to be made somewhere. The best foster moms I have worked with have been the best advoacates for the children in their care. And showing that child that their needs are important is an incredible way to show that THEY are important, too. Sounds like you are doing a great job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nova mama Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 Do you have maybe an hour on Saturdays? Playing with friends is important, but she'll be so much happier when she can read along with her friends. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moosemomma Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 :iagree: Can you get her caseworker involved? Can the caseworker talk to the school about an appropriate educational plan? From a teacher - Ask if you can talk to the school caseworker (You may need to get permission b/c you are a foster parent). This will be a member of the school IEP team. He/ she monitors you foster child's school progress. Write letters requesting to meet with her and tell her specfically what the issues are - in a friendly, concerned foster parent so of way. IF you are lucky, you may gain an ally in the school caseworker. This is something you want to strive for. Starting off in a confrontational matter will hurt more than help. If school caseworker knows that you want your fd to be successful and are willing to fight to help get her services, he/she may be more willing to fight for those services. Services are limited at times and many do not get services b\c there is not a adult who is willing to politely ask for those services Ask about getting a reading evaluation done and see if she is eligible for supplement resources - spefically pull out programs to address the reading issues. Ask if there is a reading specialist in the school who can work with her. If it is a Title One - they get money from the gov't to help at-risk and low-income youth. Also- talk to one of your profs. they may know of places to go to get additional services. Perhaps even at the college or university where you are getting your degree. Basic help for now: Reading: The best I've found is The Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading (OPG) It is quick, simple and scripted. I use magnetic letters from a teacher's store for the general activities. It takes about 10- 15 minutes a day. You could try doing it in the mornings a few days a week and on the weekends. Even 3-4 lessons a week could build up her reading skills. If she is too wiped by the end of the day. Try file folder games to work on basic skills in the evening. This Site is awesome: http://www.theschoolbell.com/Links/Dolch/Contents.html Just a 1-2 hours one week end and you can end a simple file folder game board. I use the same board to teach math facts with flash cards. Does she have access to the computer at home? Try a some educational websites. Rather that TV, she could spend 30 minutes on http://www.starfall.com/, http://www.literactive.com/Home/index.asp, or check out http://www.internet4classrooms.com/index.htm for great websites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted November 21, 2009 Share Posted November 21, 2009 I second the OPGTR, it only takes a few minutes each day, could be fit in in the morning and will really help to review and cement phonics and reading rules. You would be surprised what just a few minutes in the morning can do. Also, you may want to find a phonics song. When my children were younger I used a song from Sing Spell Read and right to teach them the letter sounds. We did it before bed and I would point to the letters on an ABC chart. Some children really get things quickly when there is music attached. This is basic beginner, but with all the sight word stuff they are teaching now a days many children don't know it. And by all means, keep reading aloud. This really is great for increasing vocabulary and bonding. You may even squeeze in some reading where she can sit next to you and follow along. You may even find some very easy books and ask her to read aloud to you. Something that can help her buil confidence and move on from there. If it is treated like a fun activity instead of a lesson she should react well. It is likely that the situation at school has hurt her confidence in herself. I hope you find something that works for the two of you. Good luck and :grouphug:, Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgm Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 (edited) snip Anyway, our schedule is packed. She goes to an after-school program, and we don't get home until 5:45ish. By the time we eat dinner, she is exhausted and just wants to watch TV ... and I don't blame her! I've been reading Harry Potter aloud to her every night which she enjoys, but I know she needs to be doing more then that outside of school, since she's not learning a THING in school. Should I try to cram in a half hour or so of phonics in the evenings, or would that be unreasonable and cruel? She is also very behind in math. I know I have the weekends, but even those are full and I feel guilty for taking away her free time ... God forbid she has daylight time to play outside and make friends in the neighborhood! snip If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know ... thank you! Your advice from a teacher is great. The school really should be pulling her out for response to intervention or whatever program they have for students that are more than one grade level behind in skills. It sounds like time management and prioritizing need to be done. What does the afterschool care get accomplished? Does she get her homework done and a lot of playtime/socializing outdoors as well as some downtime ? Is she having a healthy snack? If not could the priorities there be changed? With the at home routine, the rule of thumb is 10 min X grade level for homework for the average student. Many kids go out to play after arrival home, come in to help with dinner chores and then after dinner they do their h.w. and studying/reading/family time. TV on a school night is not in the routine of a successful student (other than middle schoolers who are getting their news there and above grade level students who are getting enrichment). You are not being cruel to turn it off at this stage of the game since she needs basics rather than enrichment - what I tell my kids is that if they are too tired to do anything but watch TV, then they need to lie down for half an hour. It works -- if they are truly tired they fall asleep; if they are overstimulated, they relax. Another suggestion is to change your meal planning and schedule so that she can help and most of the meal is done when you get home (crock pot, prep veggies on wkends, entree pre-cooked from the weekend or saved from an earlier meal). Meal prep is a great way to practice math skills. Perhaps she can set and help with a side while you finish the entree. It's a great way for you two to reconnect too. A good way to work in neighborhood friends and math skills is to invite them over to play board games and hopscotch & jump rope. Don't worry about spending time on academics on the weekends - most successful students do, whether they areenriched or tutored privately. She needs structure and once she sees success and progress she'll be wanting more. Also, if you get the chance, read Rafe Esquith's books for inspiration. And kudos to you for taking on so much. Edited November 22, 2009 by lgm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 If she wants to watch tv afterschool, try the Leapfrog Frog videos. Letter Factory teaches letter sounds, Word Factory teaches CVC blends, and Codeword Capers teaches Silent E. Although they are preschool videos, even my 10 and 13 yr olds watch them (they're way past the skill level, they just think they're funny) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 You are getting some great advice here. The TV time needs to be cut, however, the 3 Leap Frog DVDs (Talking Letter Factory, and Talking Words Factory I and II) are outstanding and I think would be very valuable to you in "painlessly" building phonics skills. Reading and phonic has to be the top priority now. I will mention another series that has worked quite well for us, called "Explode the Code." ETC is nice (for us) because it is not scripted, the workbooks are simple enough for child and teacher/parent to work through it without much talk or "instruction" from the adult partner, and the child (with occasional help) does the work. So you can cuddle in bed and do this, and she may not feel you're going "teacher" on her (in the bad way). "Bob Books" are a nice adjunct to ETC. It's good work you're doing! Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 You are getting some great advice here. The TV time needs to be cut, however, the 3 Leap Frog DVDs (Talking Letter Factory, and Talking Words Factory I and II) are outstanding and I think would be very valuable to you in "painlessly" building phonics skills. Reading and phonic has to be the top priority now. I will mention another series that has worked quite well for us, called "Explode the Code." ETC is nice (for us) because it is not scripted, the workbooks are simple enough for child and teacher/parent to work through it without much talk or "instruction" from the adult partner, and the child (with occasional help) does the work. So you can cuddle in bed and do this, and she may not feel you're going "teacher" on her (in the bad way). "Bob Books" are a nice adjunct to ETC. It's good work you're doing! Bill I also like the Rod & Staff preschool/1st grade workbooks. In addition to the reading and phonics, sprinkled among it all is the rest of preschool. Shapes, cutting, glueing, finding the different shape, writing numbers, colors & reading the name of the color. I've used both series and I really like the variety of activities in R&S. With the Explode the Code series I was often left wondering how much they really learned or if the repetativeness "speaking." http://www.rodandstaffbooks.com/item/1-10020-G/?list=Rod_and_Staff_Preschool The workbook cost is about the same for both series. R&S isn't scripted either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 What about having her go to a tutor instead of the after-school program? I realize this might cost more money than the after-school program, but it seems like that is taking up a lot of time that could be spent to improve her skills. Maybe you know of a homeschooling mom who would like to earn a little extra money...using a curriculum you provide/choose. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Bringing someone in to the after-school program should work great. I also agree about the Leapfrog videos. Don't fall for the foster parent guilt... you would be doing her more harm if you didn't help her be all that she can be. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 1. Relaxed Evening "Home Time" Routine -- By this time, you are both wiped out, so if I were in your shoes, I would (a) keep TV time VERY short or have a no-TV-on-a-school-night rule for your household; (b) do Read Alouds and/or listen to audiobooks while you cook & clean up; © use your supper time to engage in relaxed, "non-teachy" conversation; (d) keep the same routine every evening, as much as possible; and (e) HAVE AN EARLY BEDTIME. This last bit is so important to your foster daughter, and to you, because..... 2. Intense Morning "Before-Schooling" Routine -- You are going to start getting up 30 minutes earlier! :D Set up a "Home School Zone" -- complete with paper, pencils, crayons, markers, posters, a clock, etc. Get a digital timer, set it for 10 minutes, and GO! (a) First 10 minutes -- work on phonics/early readers (b) Next 10 minutes -- work on handwriting/copywork © Last 10 minutes -- work on a K math course/math fact drill Some recommendations: Phonics -- The Ordinary Parent's Guide (OPG) to Teaching Reading ($30) AND Bob Books http://www.welltrainedmind.com/store/the-ordinary-parent-s-guide-to-teaching-reading-paperback.html http://www.bobbooks.com/ IMO, with OPG you do not need the audio companion or the other components. The flashcards ($5) ARE nice to have, but you have to cut them out. Much easier than making them, though, especially if time is tight. Here, we alternate Phonics Lessons (2x/week) with Easy Readers (2x/week). Can your foster daughter read Bob Books? Many libraries have these sets. Handwriting -- Handwriting Without Tears OR Zaner-Bloser OR Abeka OR a handwriting workbook that you buy from Walmart or Sam's OR make your own worksheets on StartWrite ($40) http://www.hwtears.com/ http://www.zaner-bloser.com/educator/products/handwriting/index.aspx?id=6100 https://www.abeka.com/ABekaOnline/BookDescription.aspx?sbn=47236 http://www.startwrite.com/ We use a combination here: Abeka for Handwriting and StartWrite for Copywork (I make up a copybook for 3 months on a theme she chooses, with simple, short sentences). For Handwriting, we focus on letter formation, size uniformity, and spacing. For Copywork, we focus on neatness, capitalization, and punctuation. Do each 2x/week. Math -- Horizons Math K ($62) AND Math Fact Drill http://www.aophomeschooling.com/product/jkc120/ http://www.playkidsgames.com/games/mathfact/mathFact.htm HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fostermommyof1 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Thanks so much everyone for your replies! I apologize for not checking back until now, but I want everyone to know how much I appreciate it and have though seriously about all of your ideas. I especially like the idea of bringing someone in to the afterschool program, and I set limits for the TV soon after my first post. We now don't watch TV during the week at all; I see now that there is just too much going on. We started doing about thirty minutes of phonics on Saturday and on Sunday and she is progressing slowly, but she is progressing. School is still not going well, and unfortunately I am still pushing for this to work out. I opted not to "afterschool" formally because with the behavior and emotional issues, it really is impossible either before or after school. However, instead of watching TV we have "family time" when we play board games, and I try to incorporate a game that teaches word families. I think my next step may be, as someone suggested, to bring somebody into the afterschool program. Since I have not gotten cooperation from the teacher, I told the afterschool program that she does not need to complete her homework (she couldn't do any of it anyway, and normally sat there staring at it and being reprimanded), and is to either do work I send with her or that will be time with a tutor, if I can manage to afford one. If anyone has any further suggestion, I'd love to hear them. Thanks all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 thanks for posting an update, I am glad to hear it. I wondered how things were working out for you two. I assume you're doing plenty of read aloud time together. When you think about it, it not only helps with learning to read, but also exposure to anything new opens her world, she will bond with you, and all that will boost her self-esteem. win win win win! :) Also I second Spy Car's suggestion of the LeapFrog DVDs. My kids loved them and learned a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 (edited) :grouphug: I've tutored phonics for 16 years. The lessons I use are linked in my signature, they are free online. Also, I have a modified version of these lessons written out with idiot proof instructions on my how to tutor page, all the files and instructions you need are linked at the end of the page. For an older student, I've found that the use of nonsense words and starting 2+ syllable words from the beginning are especially helpful--once they learn how to divide syllables, they are capable of reading large words and it is very motivational for them to be able to read such "hard" words quickly. Since I've added in Webster's Speller and changed to syllable based methods instead of regular phonics and added in nonsense words, I've greatly decreased the time it takes to get a student remediated. I've also been able to get students to much higher grade levels since discovering Webster's Speller. If you have any specific questions, let me know, I've seen a lot over my years of tutoring. I would start by giving her the NRRF reading grade level test and the MWIA level I for before and after comparison. And, if she reads the phonetic words on the MWIA more than 15% slower than the holistic words or misses more phonetic than holistic words, she needs a lot of practice with nonsense words. I have a fun phonics game that makes both nonsense and regular words, maybe you could play it for 5 or 10 minutes a night? Edited January 19, 2010 by ElizabethB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 A few ideas for her after school time that may work while you figure out other options or save up money for a tutor or find a volunteer (let us know your state and you might get some volunteers! Also, you might find a local church willing to send someone, they could use my idiot proof instructions linked above, my last church in Arkansas had a lot of volunteers in the schools, as did our church in Alabama.) 1. See if they will let her do phonics and math drill on a computer with headphones. I know there are some good math drill links, you can ask on the K-8 curriculum board here. For phonics, my lessons and starfall.com are free, you could get Read Write, Type and Wordy Querty for $100, supposedly less if you download a demo and wait a while for a free coupon. 2. If you can borrow an iPhone or iPodTouch for her for a while (a few weeks should do it for this app), I like the app ABC Pocket Phonics, it's $2. There are also some good math drill apps; again, ask on the K-8 Curriculum board, I haven't researched them much, we like our Flashmaster and are happy with that. We do like the game math pop, but it's mostly for fun, it really isn't that great of a teaching tool, although you can learn a bit from playing the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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