s/o Why my children will not be going to public High School

[gingersmom]

I was reading the thread about people sending their kids to public school for high school.

 

I live in the most highly rated school district in New Jersey.

 

It is also extremely overcrowded and I have met very few parents who are thrilled with it. But apparently we pull amazing test scores and manage to get kids into very good colleges.

 

Last year alone they had drug sniffing dogs bought into the school, a racial incident in the parking lot that involved bats and led to charges and countercharges, one student was charged with vehicular manslaughter (cops have been very hush hush about whether drugs or alcohol were involved) and then this......

 

My local high school is being written about in the New York Times! Not for a good reason. Apparently hazing of freshman girls has been going on for 10 years. Apparently the seniors haze the freshman the first week of school.

 

How could the first week not be completed without being slammed into a locker? Or terrorized by a senior?

 

The idiot principal and school superintendent finally had to acknowledge they have known about this. And of course they are shocked blah, blah blah.

 

No public school for my children.

[Denise in Florida]

I have always been suspicious of high schools with high ranking scores. Long ago when we were in another state, I heard horror stories about a local public high school that raised their scores by pressuring/hounding low performing students to drop-out or transfer to another school. The pressure was always phrased as helping children 'find a better fit' but investigation showed there had been systematic efforts to remove low performers.

[TravelingChris]

I was considering a high school for my youngest if by some odd chance we were still living here in two years and she got into it (It is a science and technology school and highly selective). Then I saw the discussion on my local gifted list. Apparantly our wonderful, super high achieving school district, has messed up ideas about grading and credits. They have classes at this school that aren't offered elsewhere in the county. They are more advanced than AP classes like math classes above the Calculus level and higher level science classes. Well on the transcripts, these classes don't get college or AP 1 point boost or even a honor class .5 point boost. No, they count the same as PE or remedial math at some other school. This made me think that her dad, my dh, is a PhD physicist and can teach her all the math she wants or needs before college and the same for sciences. And I can award quality points for those classes. Furthermore, I have decided that she doesn't need a very competitive environment to further her perfectionistic tendencies.

[LauraGB]

People are always surprised and skeptical (even fellow homeschoolers) when I say that those are the very years I would not want to send my kids to school.

 

First, its hard enough being a teenager. Really hard. I don't want to put them in a situation all day long, every day, where they will be learning from other teenagers, also struggling with identity. The situations at our public highschools are too disturbing even to drive past at 3pm.

 

Second, knowing my kids, I can toss books at them all 4 years and tell them to read them and sit on my behind all day doing nothing and know they will still get a better education than they would if they went to any of our local highschools AND they would not need to walk through metal detectors to do so. (And no, that is not actually what I plan to do :D)

 

Third, the only questionable individual they would be forced to deal with on a regular/daily basis would be Yours Truly, and that's good enough.;)

 

No, if I were going to send them to school, it would have been years ago, not at such a pivotal point in thier social emotional growth as the highschool years.

Edited September 20, 2009 by LauraGB

[ccm]

My three oldest children are public high school graduates. When I asked oldest daughter (a social butterfly), my son (varsity basketball team center/forward), and daughter (National Honor Society/swim team member) if I should consider sending their youngest sister to the local public high school, they answered emphatically NO!

Edited September 21, 2009 by ccm
basketball, not baseball

[cathmom]

Even before we had considered homeschooling for ourselves, my dh thought high school would be the absolute worst time to put a child in school. Of course his views may have been colored by having drugs sold across his desk in math class and fights every day in the cafeteria. :lol:

[unsinkable]

My three oldest children are public high school graduates. When I asked oldest daughter (a social butterfly), my son (varsity baseball team center/forward), and daughter (National Honor Society/swim team member) if I should consider sending their youngest sister to the local public high school, they answered emphatically NO!

 

Are these new baseball positions or did you mean basketball? :confused:

[amy g.]

Mine will not. Our school district is horrible, but even if it was the best in the world, I would not send them. We have access to private homeschool classes as well as community college. Those are better fits for us.

 

I just can not stand the high school culture. I'm Facebook friends with the girls my oldest went to preschool with. It's pretty upsetting to see the boyfriends and drinking and cussing and obsession with looks from these girls who came from nice Christian families.

 

I took Miss Good out to eat, on Friday. She hardly ate a bite because she was so excited telling me about Hector and Virgil being in Dante's Inferno. I just prefer homeschooled geeks, I guess.

[Erica in PA]

Dh and I will do all we can to either homeschool or use private school through high school. I'm realizing more and more that today's public school system just is not compatible with our values, no matter how "good" (i.e. safe, high-scoring on testing, etc.) the local school might be. There would much in their days at public high school that we do not want for them, and there is much *good* that would *not* be part of their days. It's the latter that really seals the deal for me, because those are the things that are not present in any public school.

[anissarobert]

I have been waiting for high school the entire time I have been homeschooling. High school level work is so interesting, and I love learning along, even when it is stressful. I have to agree with Amy g. homeschool geeks are more fun. I spend two hours every Friday discussing great books with 7 homeschooled teens and they are neat people. Learning with them pushes me forward intellectually.

 

The biggest advantage though is that my dd doesn't have to deal with the pressures of dating, cliques, popularity, drugs, and all the other things that come with school. So much of what I remember about high school has nothing to do with education!

[ccm]

Are these new baseball positions or did you mean basketball? :confused:

 

:tongue_smilie: Oops, I meant basketball!

[Crissy]

Gah! That sounds terrible! I am so glad our experience is not the same.

 

We're just three weeks into my son's first year of high school at the local PS and our principal recently called to find out how Jeffrey is transitioning into a large student population situation, his Calculus teacher offered her home phone number in case he had any questions or would like to 'chat math' outside of school hours, and his forensic science teacher just sent an email to alert parents to the difficult subjects they will be talking about this week.

 

I have no doubt there are students in the general population who are using or abusing drugs and alcohol, probably a girl or two who will become pregnant before this year is out and there are certainly bullys lurking in a hallway or two. Still, the level of discussion that occurs in our home, and my son's strong sense of Self make me feel confident that this year will be a positive experience for him before he moves onto college for his junior and senior years.

I am sad, though, that not everyone can have such a great experience in our public schools.

[LauraGB]

... and my son's strong sense of Self make me feel confident that this year will be a positive experience for him before he moves onto college for his junior and senior years.

I am sad, though, that not everyone can have such a great experience in our public schools.

 

You are very fortunate. I am very happy for your ds that he has a parent/parents so involved and a school system so welcoming. Its how it should be.

[Sandy in Indy]

People are always surprised and skeptical (even fellow homeschoolers) when I say that those are the very years I would not want to send my kids to school.

 

First, its hard enough being a teenager. Really hard. I don't want to put them in a situation all day long, every day, where they will be learning from other teenagers, also struggling with identity. The situations at our public highschools are too disturbing even to drive past at 3pm.

 

Second, knowing my kids, I can toss books at them all 4 years and tell them to read them and sit on my behind all day doing nothing and know they will still get a better education than they would if they went to any of our local highschools AND they would not need to walk through metal detectors to do so. (And no, that is not actually what I plan to do :D)

 

Third, the only questionable individual they would be forced to deal with on a regular/daily basis would be Yours Truly, and that's good enough.;)

 

No, if I were going to send them to school, it would have been years ago, not at such a pivotal point in thier social emotional growth as the highschool years.

 

:iagree:

 

I would not, under any circumstances, send my children to public school for high school. (or any other time for that matter) I will not subject my kids to the misinformation, peer pressure, drugs, bad language, etc., etc., etc. that is found in most public high schools.

 

And I know that I can (and have done so) provide a better education than our local school, which graduates 44% of its students and a whooping 21% take the SAT with an average score of 957 [V+M]. (Latest figures available, 2007-2008)

Edited September 21, 2009 by Sandy in Indy

[creekland]

I work in our local public hs. After the first year (maybe less) we knew we'd be pulling out kids out when they reached that stage. As soon as my oldest hit 9th grade they came home and I've never regretted it.

 

Our elementary and middle schools are quite good (for the most part - not as good in math now that they switched to Everyday Math).

 

For us and our area, 8th or 9th grade is the best time to pull OUT of ps, not put them in.

[Tressa]

I have no desire for my kids to go to our public high school. It was overcrowded when I was there 20 years ago. I can only imagine what it is like now. I know that I can do a better job at home. We are just starting our 9th grade year and already I am enjoying it more than the younger years. Yes, it takes longer and more work, but I love discussing Homer with my 15 year old.

[i.love.lucy]

People are always surprised and skeptical (even fellow homeschoolers) when I say that those are the very years I would not want to send my kids to school.

 

First, its hard enough being a teenager. Really hard. I don't want to put them in a situation all day long, every day, where they will be learning from other teenagers, also struggling with identity. The situations at our public highschools are too disturbing even to drive past at 3pm.

 

Second, knowing my kids, I can toss books at them all 4 years and tell them to read them and sit on my behind all day doing nothing and know they will still get a better education than they would if they went to any of our local highschools AND they would not need to walk through metal detectors to do so. (And no, that is not actually what I plan to do :D)

 

Third, the only questionable individual they would be forced to deal with on a regular/daily basis would be Yours Truly, and that's good enough.;)

 

No, if I were going to send them to school, it would have been years ago, not at such a pivotal point in thier social emotional growth as the highschool years.

:iagree:Completely!

 

I had a terrible experience in high school and I can't stand the thought of subjecting my children to that. People are always surprised though, especially other homeschoolers:001_huh:. They just thing the "opportunities" offered in the ps system are too great to pass up, not to mention having a "real school" on their transcript for college. Maybe they will change their tune when the time comes.

[Nestof3]

People are always surprised and skeptical (even fellow homeschoolers) when I say that those are the very years I would not want to send my kids to school.

 

First, its hard enough being a teenager. Really hard. I don't want to put them in a situation all day long, every day, where they will be learning from other teenagers, also struggling with identity. The situations at our public highschools are too disturbing even to drive past at 3pm.

 

Second, knowing my kids, I can toss books at them all 4 years and tell them to read them and sit on my behind all day doing nothing and know they will still get a better education than they would if they went to any of our local highschools AND they would not need to walk through metal detectors to do so. (And no, that is not actually what I plan to do :D)

 

Third, the only questionable individual they would be forced to deal with on a regular/daily basis would be Yours Truly, and that's good enough.;)

 

No, if I were going to send them to school, it would have been years ago, not at such a pivotal point in thier social emotional growth as the highschool years.

 

:iagree:

[Lilymax]

The OP reminded me of one reason our local PS's aren't an option for my kids at any age.

 

Unfortunately we live in an area of the country where racial tension is extremely high. A friend's FIRST grader was gang-banged in the boys' bathroom by five boys of another race last year. If this crap is happening in our public elementary schools, how much worse must it be in middle and high?

 

And that's just one issue. I look at friends' PS'd kids and am not at all impressed with what I see the schools producing, character-wise or academically.

 

I may not do a hugely better job educating them at home, but I guarantee I cannot do worse. Not in this town, anyway.

[PineFarmMom]

I'd like to say I'm 100% steady all the time with homeschooling. I am homeschooling my 9th grader and really am happy with her progress, the person she is, her goals, her walk with God, etc. Sometimes I flash back, though, to "fun" in high school and it makes me wonder if I'm failing her in that area. My "fun" involved a lot of partying and nonsense, though, that didn't have much of a positive end result. I have to remember that part.

 

Dd has a particular ps friend who, at the end of the school year last year, was very aware, at every moment, of how she looked. She made efforts in her walk and mannerisms to be cute at. all. times. ACK!! It came off extremely annoying to dh & myself, and there are others who mentioned it to me. This was extremely bad at the end of the school year. As summer progressed and she wasn't in school, I noticed she started just being her sweet self without all the efforts awareness of how she appeared at every moment. By the end of the summer, she was back to herself and I enjoyed her. 2 weeks into school now and I can barely tolerate all of her cutesie chatter and flirtatious little affectations. It makes me wonder what is going on in that school, kwim??