Need to hear your input about reading and need to VENT!

[Annette0409]

Hello all,

 

I'm fairly new to this forum, but am appreciating what I'm reading on here. I'm not new to homeschooling, as I homeschooled my oldest daughter from 4th grade all the way through high school. She just finished up her 2nd yr of college. She was in a private Christian school from pre-K - 3rd. I swore I'd never put my kids in the public school system.

 

Long story short, I went through a divorce a few years ago and while I was able to start homeschooling my youngest daughter for the first part of kindergarten, I reluctantly found it necessary to put her in public school. She is finishing up 1st grade right now.

 

Here's my beef... In kindergarten the teacher kept pushing reading "flashcards" and the kids were expected to memorize about 300 words by the end of the year. I refused to do that with her and talked with the teacher twice that the kids need to be learning phonics. The teacher said, "oh but we do phonics". That was a joke. Throwing a blend at them once in awhile while focusing on memorization isn't teaching phonics.

 

Enter 1st grade. Everything (except reading) on her report cards all year has been either "satisfactory" (on grade level), or "excellent". She enjoyed school and enjoys learning. The only problem she had - according to the schools standards - was that she wasn't reading "on level". I started casually working with her in the evenings and the teacher put her in a remedial group at school (and told me she was the best in the group). She jumped from a "Level 6 or 7" to a "Level 12" in just a few months.

 

Now, with 3 weeks left in the school year they are threatening to hold her back and make her repeat 1st grade because "she should be a Level 14 or 16". The teacher even said to her (I can't believe she said this!) "if you don't learn to read, the 2nd grade teacher is going to send you back to 1st grade and you're going to have to do 1st grade all over again".

 

This isn't a motivation issue! She loves learning to read and has been very eager about it. But before my very eyes I'm seeing her feeling bad about it, like she's not measuring up, upset and worried that she can't go on to 2nd grade.

 

Out of the blue I received a consent form from the school wanting to test her in multiple areas to "develop interventions" and that a copy would be kept in her permanent file. I refused consent and I refuse to allow a label to be slapped on her needlessly. I have researched on my own about learning disabilities and scoured through everything. I see no evidence of this with her.

 

Good grief! Since when is a 7 yr old supposed to be reading fluently, multi-syllable and compound words (even though she can read some of them)?

 

Instead of allowing a normal developmental process these kids are so pressured! In working with her on her homework yesterday, she was actually struggling more in her reading than before because she is so worried about it now. I saw her shutting down and alternating between anger and whimpering when she couldn't immediately figure out a word, instead of diving in and sounding it out.

 

My daughter is a pretty sharp cookie. She's been begging for piano lessons and sits at the piano teaching herself two-handed, multi-fingered harmonizing melodies! She can figure things out and picks up on cues and patterns quickly. I could tell you story after story of how she amazed us figuring things out from the time she was very little. I don't believe there's anything wrong with her ability to learn!

 

When she was having problems with the school math homework (which teaches them to memorize and count on their fingers), I pulled out the RightStart Level A I began with her in Kindergarten and showed her the concept from that approach. She immediately got it and went on to do an entire page of problems in a couple of minutes, correctly, by herself.

 

I am so ANGRY about seeds of doubt concerning her abilities being planted in her mind and her being made to feel like she's not measuring up because she's not fitting in their box according to their assembly line process!

 

Thankfully, the decision had already been made between her father and I to pull her out of school and return to homeschooling before it came out that the teacher told her that about being held back.

 

I've been trying to reassure her that she's fine, and we're going to have fun learning, that she is doing great with reading and we'll just keep on learning.

 

I'm continuing with the Reading Made Easy curriculum I started (we're only halfway through it right now) and will also be using All About Spelling to reinforce phonics while actually learning how to spell (instead of memorizing lists like they did in the classroom).

 

I'm also putting her in RightStart Math again, on Level B - which will let me back up with her and undo some of what she got in the school system and learn it from that approach.

 

I'm actually going to be doing MORE with her than she was doing in the classroom (Mystery of History, Prima Latina, Greek Alphabet Code Cracker, Writing With Ease, etc), but will do it in an empowering manner for her, NOT like what she was getting in the classroom.

 

 

Thank you for letting me vent. I needed to be heard by people who get what I'm talking about!

 

Please share with me about your experiences teaching your kids to read.

 

Thank you for reading this lengthy post and thank you in advance for your input!

 

Blessings,

Annette

[johnandtinagilbert]

Looks like you'll have this under control. Glad to read your vent. Seems like you are doing everything right and I'm happy that you'll get to home school her now. What a gift! I think as you continue to work with her, and she doesn't have to return to the school, she'll grow out of her discontent and fear. You two can work through it with your tender touch and encouragement. What a terrible thing to say to a child, although what she said was true, even if harsh. Encourage her how at home she'll be in exactly the right group...the one she fits best in and encourage her about all the things she'll be learning with you, that her ps friends won't get to enjoy. Congrats on bringing her home. Sounds like in this case, it's for the best.

[Night Elf]

Now that you are going to be homeschooling, just tell her that there are different ways of learning. When one way doesn't work well, you'll find another way. Public school was one way. Homeschooling is another.

 

My suggestion is that once you start homeschooling, lay off reading instruction altogether. Read to her, answer questions she has about words and sentences, and let her write whatever she wants whether it's words or just ABC's. If you read to her alot, she'll probably want to learn to read and may be able to put the negative past behind her. I'm afraid if you try to jump in teaching her to read, you'll only see her struggle all the more because she will still be thinking of her unfortunate lessons in school.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I would be hesitant to let her go back without addressing it with the teachers. And I think I might take my daughter with me to address it. Let them assure her that they were wrong. However... I think you may be sending her back into a lawless territory. I would pull the kid out and take her on a fun trip or something. Do something instead of the musical. Take her to a musical or something!

[mommaduck]

(((hugs)))

[Ginevra]

Read or listen to a biography about Thomas Edison. His mother homeschooled him after the teacher said he was "addled" and could not learn. That's my favorite kind of story.

 

I think the "Your Story Hour" series has an audio about Thomas Edison.

[Annette0409]

Looks like you'll have this under control. Glad to read your vent. Seems like you are doing everything right and I'm happy that you'll get to home school her now. What a gift! I think as you continue to work with her, and she doesn't have to return to the school, she'll grow out of her discontent and fear. You two can work through it with your tender touch and encouragement. What a terrible thing to say to a child, although what she said was true, even if harsh. Encourage her how at home she'll be in exactly the right group...the one she fits best in and encourage her about all the things she'll be learning with you, that her ps friends won't get to enjoy. Congrats on bringing her home. Sounds like in this case, it's for the best.

 

 

Thank you for the encouragement!

 

I just noticed that you are in Largo - I'm in Tampa! Are you part of a homeschooling group in the area? I was online looking for one and saw a large one that looked interesting in the Pinellas area.

[Annette0409]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and ideas.

 

In your experiences with teaching reading, were you expecting your kids to be fluent by age 7?

 

I don't see her being "stuck" on anything, I think that she just needs more time.

[Sasharowan]

In your experiences with teaching reading, were you expecting your kids to be fluent by age 7?

My ds8, when he turned 7, was struggling with Green Eggs and Ham. My kids were all homeschooled and taught with phonics. Now, having just turned 8, he easily reads Magic Treehouse and similar books with ease,as in one or more a day. He read Mary Poppins by himself. Something just clicked. That is what it takes sometimes, time.:grouphug: Hope your daughter refinds her love of reading soon.

[Annette0409]

My ds8, when he turned 7, was struggling with Green Eggs and Ham. My kids were all homeschooled and taught with phonics. Now, having just turned 8, he easily reads Magic Treehouse and similar books with ease,as in one or more a day. He read Mary Poppins by himself. Something just clicked. That is what it takes sometimes, time.:grouphug: Hope your daughter refinds her love of reading soon.

 

 

Thank you! That's what I've suspected and vaguely recall from homeschooling days many moons ago. I remember one of the first books I read on the subject was a library book by the Moore's that talked about the principle of giving kids time.

[Mekanamom]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and ideas.

 

In your experiences with teaching reading, were you expecting your kids to be fluent by age 7?

 

I don't see her being "stuck" on anything, I think that she just needs more time.

 

My first two were fluent by 7. Boy, was I surprised when #3 was NOT. She is just becoming fluent now at age 9. She's getting it now... just had to be on her own timetable.

 

I tried many different programs with her. Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading, Explode the Code workbooks, AVKO spelling, and the Pathway Readers/workbooks have been especially helpful for this particular child.

 

(My first 2 learned to read with "100 Easy Lessons" followed up by K12 1st grade phonics.)

[ConnieB]

Not only are there different ways of learning....as someone said above.....but be sure to talk to your daughter that everybody learns at a different rate.

 

I have a child that learned to read chapter books long before age 7.....and I have another who is already 8 and still struggling. And then I also have a set of identical twins.....and guess what they didn't learn to read at the same time....one took off much faster than the other. Talk about hard to convince the kid who struggled that she wasn't dumber than her twin! But I pointed out the things that she could do that her twin (and in some cases older siblings too) couldn't do...or couldn't do as well. Drawing for this girl comes naturally...even as a toddler you could tell what her drawings were....her twin sister doodled and scribbled. The point is that these kids all had the same teacher (me) and all started out with the same curriculum....though we have changed for those struggling, to find something that would click with them. So all things being the same as far as teacher/curriculum, why wouldn't they learn it the same....because they are all different kids, even the identical twins. That's hard for some adults to grasp, so you may have to remind your daughter many times when she's doubting herself, that for HER, this is normal.

 

You said that your daughter is picking up piano almost by herself.....remind her that some kids can take lessons for YEARS before they can pluck out two-handed, multi-fingered harmonizing melodies! But she can already...and without an instructor! Does that mean the other kids are dumb? No of course not....it means that piano is easier for her to learn than it is for other kids. In the case of reading, she is going to have to keep working because reading doesn't come as easily to her...but it does to SOME other children. And then point out the leaps that she has made since Mom started giving her a little more help.....that maybe she wasn't getting the right kind of help at school, so that's why you are going to homeschool her. (I'll venture to guess that she's also worried you're suddenly homeschooling her because she's "too dumb" to be in school..... the thought process of a little one, especially since it sounds like the timing wasn't the best between the teacher telling her she wasn't going to 2nd grade and your decision to homeschool). If she still needs convincing.....take her to the local teacher supply store....point out to her all the hundreds of books about learning to read. Not sure if she's old enough to grasp the concept that if everyone learned the same way there wouldn't be a need for so many different ways to teach, but plant that seed just in case.

 

Also, if there is something that Mom or Dad (or another close adult) has struggled with, point out that this person not excelling at this doesn't make them dumb either....it just means they have to work to learn it. Sometimes pointing out that even adults have struggles help kids realize they aren't hopeless.

 

Regardless of your daughter's struggles (whether real or not) that teacher should NEVER have made your daughter feel stupid and threaten her with not going on to another grade. As a teacher she definitely should know that too. I'd be livid over seeing any child treated that way. Teachers should be building them up, not tearing them down. Even if your daughter did need to be held back, there are better ways to handle it than this insensitive teacher did.

[Annette0409]

Thanks again for the input. It's so good to hear from others.

 

I'm glad the AVKO spelling was mentioned (I'm assuming that is Sequential Spelling). I actually debated back and forth between that one and All About Spelling. I wound up getting the AAS, but noticed that SS is coming out with it on DVD format and they are going to be at the homeschool convention in Orlando next weekend. I'm thinking about getting that also and letting her work on that on her own in between the blocks of time during the day we'll be working together.

[FO4UR]

I am appalled that the teacher would actually try to shame her like that!:glare: I would be livid!!!

 

 

It sounds like you are encouraging her, and letting her know that you don't agree with her teacher's assessment.:grouphug: to her!!!

 

My ds turned 6 in January, and he fluently reads words that we have spelled together (via SWR), and CAN sound out almost anything even though it's a lot of work right now. I agree with you - it's best to not push the memorization of words, words, words. Learn the How, and then practice, practice, practice.

 

It sounds like she's a blessed little girl to have a mom who cares enough and knows how to pull her out and teach her at home.

[Garga]

For your daughter's peace of mind, I would act like I was totally in control of the situation, not the teachers. I would let her know that you'll fight the battle for her, but be sure to do it in a matter of fact way. Sort of like how Mary Poppins would do things. "Oh, pish posh darling. I will handle this. There's no need to fuss now. I'll ring up the teacher and straighten this out right away." (Yes, I know you can't really say that, but it's hard to get this across in written form. I hope you understand the attitude I'm trying to show that you could adopt.)

 

Then your daughter can stop fretting and worrying about how she can fix the problem, because she can be sure that you'll handle the situation. That might help alleviate the pressure she's feeling.

 

Of course, I don't really know what you could do with the teacher, but your daughter doesn't need to know if you have doubts or uncertainties.

 

And everyone is right--some children take until 8 or 9 to read fluently.

 

 

ETA: Oh, nevermind. I just re-read in the OP that you are taking her out of school.

Edited May 17, 2009 by Garga

[Karen sn]

My dd took forever.

And honestly, who cares?

She's fine. She reads for fun.

What do they want from these poor kids.... no matter what they do, it's never enough.

SAD!

Glad you can spare your kid the agony.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

It's things that that made me decide to homeschool before I even had children! I first decided I wanted to homeschool any future children after teaching remedial phonics to children who got too many sight words.

 

I find that the sight words actually slow down their ability to learn to read in the long run for many students.

 

It sounds like you have a good plan!

 

You could also try my concentration game, the nonsense words are a fun way to learn and also undo any damage the sight words may have done, it should be a fun, low pressure way for her to learn and regain confidence:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

 

She might also enjoy my phonics lessons, it might be good for her to try something not out of a book for a bit. I also like Read, Write, and Type along the non-book lines, but that may be too easy for her. You could download a demo to see. I haven't tried their follow on one, it might be a better fit. http://www.talkingfingers.com/

[Guest janainaz]

My kids have never been in the public school system, and I know there are some that are good, but that just makes me so angry and sad for your poor daughter. It's just idiotic, I have no words.

[westcoastmom]

:grouphug:

 

I don't know when school ends, but can you just pull her out now?

 

As for ages that kids learn to read, it is when they are ready and that is not the same for everyone. Some children are ready at 4, others don't learn until 8 or 9. There was lots of discussion on our local home school group about this last year and there were quite a few people who posted saying that their child didn't learn to read until they were 8 or 9, but they quickly moved into reading material well above what most kids their age were reading.

[Pink Fairy]

At my house, learning to read at any time between 4yo and 7yo is normal. That could change, though, as I have a 2yods who will eventually be following in the footsteps of his 4 older siblings. :001_smile:

 

Maybe your dd didn't fit the mold of her teacher's expectations, but she sounds fine to me! :grouphug: Now that standardized testing has left little room for individuality, schools hurry to slap labels on anything different. :glare:

 

I think your plans sound fabulous, and you will be able to undo any damage caused by your dd's ps teacher. Keep fighting the good fight!!!

[Rhonda in TX]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and ideas.

 

In your experiences with teaching reading, were you expecting your kids to be fluent by age 7?

 

I don't see her being "stuck" on anything, I think that she just needs more time.

 

He and I have talked about this several times. Many kids are not reading fluently at 7. Barring disabilities, it all tends to even out sometime in 2nd grade (or is it 3rd? either way, your DD is not there yet). He would definitely tell you that she is fine and not to worry at this point.

 

I'm surprised at the school (well, not really :tongue_smilie:). A friend of mine has a son that has pretty bad dyslexia. The school would not test him until 2nd grade because of the different rate kids learn to read.

 

I'm glad you're bringing her home. You'll undo the damage quickly.

[Susan in IL]

On pulling her out now instead of leaving her to languish.

 

Ds#1 was taught whole language and we all know that was a total disaster country-wide. No phonics at all. ARGH!!! He finally started really reading in 2nd grade and then kind of took off and became an avid reader. He didn't learn phonics until I pulled him out of school at the end of 6th grade. I taught him phonics because he was also taught invented spelling. That doesn't work either. They didn't teach things like endings, prefixes, suffixes, roots, etc. either. I had to do a lot of remedial work in 7th-8th grade with him.

 

He is now in college and a good speller and can use phonics to try to spell (and pronounce) words that are very difficult.

 

Ds#2 was totally different. He taught himself to read at 4 using phonics to sound out words. All on his own, I had nothing to do with it. They did change the curriculum between the two but they still don't do much with phonics. Ds2 was not hsed.

 

Hope this helps.