How big is your house, Sue?
Do you have enough space that you could hire a sitter to keep the kids at one end of the house, and have an in-home date night at the other?
Banish all children and the sitter from the family room, for example, and have a romantic movie night.
Or let the sitter keep them out of the kitchen/dining room so you can have a candle-lit dinner at your own dining room table. I do this every year for my husband's birthday. He prefers a home-cooked meal to a restaurant setting every time.
Turn off the phones and set some strict, one-night-only boundaries.
It's so hard to have little ones and a husband who is gone all the time. I remember feeling so alone and resentful when I was in the same situation.
Know that you are not alone, and remember that this, too, will pass.
It's a wonderful sign that you are working to make the situation better for both of you.