My family is not picky at all but a few of them really dislike beans, so adding beans to the beef would keep them from eating it altogether. OTOH, I'm vegetarian and ds3 is vegan so we wouldn't eat the beef no matter what. It's so hard to feed people!

He must be so happy! Poor little guy.

I read somewhere that powdered sugar is good forever but I'm not sure. I always do a search on google when I'm not sure - there are charts that say how long items are good for past the date. I use this site a lot - this is the info for powdered milk: https://www.eatbydate.com/dairy/milk/how-long-does-powdered-milk-last-shelf-life/

I'm so sorry! Hope you are all better soon. 😞 @Elizabeth86 we were posting at the same time so I'm ETA that I hope you and your family are better soon too. That sounds beyond awful.

I hate that you're going through this @DawnM. I'm glad that you have time to prepare but wish you didn't have to go through this heartache.

@TechWifeyour DH is a lucky guy. 🙂

Big hugs to you. 😞

Oh @DawnM, I'm so very sorry and also sending hugs.

I am definitely an "acts of service" person and DH loves doing things for me so it works out well in that direction. He needs touch and I'm not good with that so I have to really work at it.

@Elizabeth86oh no, that's truly awful. I'm so sorry. 😞 😞

This is very wise and important for us to remember in our relationships. Thank you.

I am proud of them. Ds1 was responsive to her feelings and was patient with her and I'm thrilled that dd felt comfortable to express her feelings to him in the first place and then finally took responsibility for her bad behavior and apologized. She's definitely the type to hold everything in so telling him how she felt before his visit was really a big deal. I hope this was a good lesson for her. Maybe even both of them. I agree but I do post here to get opinions and know the risks. And I appreciate the honesty - sometimes outsiders see things in a way I can't and/or point out things I didn't consider. It's definitely eye-opening and I sort through the responses and decide what works for me and what doesn't. Thank you for the kind words. 🙂

Ds1 is leaving soon and he is huddled with dd now while she shows him the project she's working on for her internship (she's a computer science major like he was). ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

I wonder if I used lashed out incorrectly. It was more like a snarky one-liner and then she would stop. She didn't rant or yell or anything. So, for example, if he said he called someone she would say something about him not calling *her* Definitely a dig at him when it wasn't appropriate.

They seem fine today (thank goodness) so I don't know what happened after she sent the text. I don't see anything wrong with texting an apology in this case - it would be practically impossible to catch ds1 alone and I can understand why she wouldn't want to apologize in front of anyone else in the family plus I think it's easier to express your thoughts in writing and maybe she had a lot to say in the apology that she wanted to get across. For me, the really big thing is that she took responsibility for her bad behavior and apologized. But, as always, I appreciate your input.

I'm so sorry about your mom's prognosis and that this is making a stressful and awful situation even harder. Big hugs to you. Wish I could give you advice - I know I'd be posting here asking for the exact same advice if I were in your position. Seems like there's no easy answer.

Yes, I love them. I have insomnia and come downstairs in the middle of the night and they are blinking and lighting up outside our big bay window. It makes being up much less unpleasant.

We have struggled with this issue with ds3, who is on the spectrum. He is much easier now as an adult but it was definitely a problem for all of us when he was growing up and still is sometimes now. Not only with parenting but also the sibling relationships and how much they would accommodate his behavior/moods.

Ugh - I'm sorry. Hope you are all healthy again soon.

She's definitely not in any mindset about being a victim or anything like that. She's a very anxious/emotional/sensitive person in general so she is always struggling with something. 😞 I haven't read the Men/Women book but maybe I should and then pass stuff on to her. Ds1 isn't doing anything wrong. His communication style and personality is just much different than his brothers to the point where it can seem like he doesn't care and it does hurt but that's just who he is. If someone he cares about needs him, he will always be there. He's even like that with his gf but probably to a lesser extent. I'll update tonight after the visit is over but things seem much better. They had fun playing games last night and dd sent ds1 an apology by text. I don't know beyond that - I hope he relied to her or we will be starting all over again...

Yes to both. Thank you.

She doesn't expect every day but I think she desires more communication than she gets from him. He's just not good with keeping in touch when he's away and her other brothers are very good about it so there's a big difference. Instead of looking at it as it just being the way ds1 is, she takes it personally. He's like that with all of us - maybe a little less with one brother because they have a lot in common and everyone is closest to that particular brother. I agree that the way she's acting makes no sense and it won't do anything but make the situation worse. I don't think she's feeling insecure since the break up since she's the one who initiated and maintained the break up (her ex still wants to get back together). Since I've witnessed the situation with ds1, I am wondering if it was similar to what happened with her ex. He's a really good guy who is/was so devoted to her and I wonder if she overreacted to something and didn't handle it in a mature way. She only comes home for breaks - otherwise she's OOS for school. And your right that ds1 is trying and dd is being snotty and immature. She did come down tonight and things ended well before they all went to bed. Today is the last day they have together so I am hopeful the visit will end positively for everyone. I will definitely talk to dd more about her communication/relationship issues soon now that I've seen how she handled this.

Well, before I went to bed I said goodnight to dd and just said that her brothers would be leaving tomorrow evening and maybe she could go down and hang out with them for a while if she felt up to it. I could tell she had been crying and she's not a crier. I offered to come down with her or to talk if she wanted but she didn't want that. Anyway, DH said she went downstairs right after that and the four kids played games for a while together. So I'm hopeful this last day will go well before the boys all leave. They are all working remotely on and off today so they won't have much time together but I just really hope that ds1 leaves on a positive note and will continue making an effort to keep in touch with her more and that dd's hurt heart will soften and she'll feel better about it all. Once this blows over I do plan on talking to her about her behavior/reaction - not to influence her relationship with her brother - but just communication with others in general because what she did here just doesn't work for anyone including her.

Thanks. I do have to say that I've never seen her easily offended - in fact, sometimes she seems to be overly tolerant of behavior that others wouldn't put up with (I'm mostly thinking of some inconsiderate roommates she lived with in college but other situations as well). So this reaction was really surprising to me. She expressed something to me about her feelings before the visit but I didn't realize how strongly she felt - I thought she was more annoyed rather than upset and hurt. Looking back, I wish I had taken it more seriously at the time - maybe this could have been avoided.

@2squaredI'm so sorry about the mental health issues.