We are not what I would consider over-involved, by any means - but in the beginning especially, I was pretty involved in dds college schedule/plans. She's a first-gen student and all of this was entirely new to all of us and she was very, very far from home. So I didn't have the confidence to leave it all in her hands when *I* didn't even know what the steps WERE to help guide her there beforehand! So, that first semester, I kept track every few weeks on grades and such, just trying to get a gauge on how things all worked and how she was handling it. The second semester? I didn't look even once. The way SHE talked to me and the confidence SHE was exhibiting gave ME the confidence to let her do her thing. I did go to the portal a couple of times to monitor some financial stuff because "finances" are still a bit of an obscure concept to dd. She never SEES the money, so it just sort of lives in this bubble out of her brain - and we/she can't afford missing any important deadlines. Next year I will be much more hands off because we've now BTDT at least once. I now have an idea of when things are due, and how the university goes about the process each semester. I now have firsthand knowledge of the paperwork dd will need to sign, and how the school goes about giving refunds for over-payments, or collecting for payments due. I also now know how dd sounds/acts when she's needing a lifeline vs when she is doing perfectly fine on her own. We all feel much more in control of the situation now that we've had that first year. It was the same for college applications for her. Since neither dh nor I did the whole college-thing, it was all incredibly overwhelming and intense. For the next kid? Easy-peasy (comparatively). I will be a LOT more hands-off for dd2 because I have a base understanding of the process and will be able to guide her from afar and let her fill in what needs filling in and then I can just go over it afterwards and ensure the financial-bases are covered. College essays are something she is practicing NOW (we didn't think that far ahead with dd1 and it was all a stressful shock. DD2 is also, thankfully, a writer... whereas the thought of writing that many words "about herself" drove dd1 into an anxiety-driven panicked paralysis). No WAY could I have been that hands off for dd1. It would have driven us both out of our minds because I couldn't have even had conversations with her about what she was doing since I had zero firsthand experience with it. By the time we get to kid #3's college applications, I plan to be on the beach in Tahiti sipping a margarita while he navigates the process entirely by himself (well, with his two sisters possibly helping him). :lol: The Trials of Child #3. :smilielol5:

When my dd was deciding between these exact two majors, she was told (by 100% of the people she asked) that she should ABSOLUTELY do EE and shouldn't even consider ES. The ES degree is a catch-all for kids who are nature-loving, save-the-world types - and there are gobs of them & the jobs they are offered afterwards (if they can find work relating to their field) pays a pittance. What StephanieZ says is pretty much exactly what dd was told - many, many times. In the end, my dd chose something entirely different, but EE was the second-option-standing.

So. Cute!!!

I can't make it through the articles... it's too agonizing. :crying: "Regular" old hazing makes me ill. Even "baby" hazing makes me ill. I cannot fathom how any human being can a) think to treat someone in that manner or b) volunteer and sacrifice their dignity to be hazed in order to join a fraternity (not speaking of this situation, obviously... it's beyond tragic... I'm talking about the "light" hazing where they dress up like babies, or allow themselves to be walked like dogs for a day, etc). This particular type of scenario shows a lack of humanity that I can't wrap my brain around. I can't believe (I CAN believe, but I don't WANT TO believe) that this kind of thing is happening now, in 2017. The fact that not one single person took it upon themselves to do the right thing in this terrible situation staggers me.

Agreeing with a PP - wanting to ACT is a different enchilada from wanting to be FAMOUS. Maybe you can get to the core of what's captivated your dds attention and go from there in baby steps. :) Yes, this. If you have a kid interested & willing, and live in an area where the opportunities present themselves... it sure is a lot of college money that can be made in a relatively short period of time!!!

I am so, so sorry. We had a somewhat similar experience with dd and a heart issue last year, but her diagnosis came "just enough" earlier in the year for it to not throw her plans off the tracks. I'd opt for a gap year. The NCAA probably won't allow the "extension" of his high school years, but a gap year is okay. If he will still want to swim (assuming diagnosis/doctors allow for this post-treatment) the challenge will be staying in recruitable shape, speed, and condition as well as having a contact person for NCAA coaches to talk with (current coach, or whoever he will be "training" with during his gap year). We considered a gap year for dd due to the above, and other, reasons - and her staying in fighting condition was a big reason she didn't take the gap year (she wasn't sure she'd have the discipline to do it without actively participating in her sport). :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Reading the OP and the replies that followed with similar experiences.... :huh: :ohmy: :scared: :eek: :bored: :blink: :wacko: wow is right!! I'm speechless!!!

Ah, I hadn't realized the wrong-answer penalty was still a thing for the subject tests! That's very good to know! I'd thought all the SAT-based tests had made the switch. That penalty is a huge reason dd1 preferred the ACT. Stressed her out.

Thank you!! I'll have her take a new SAT initially for baseline purposes and then use the books for math and critical reading practice and we will skip the English section. 👠Goal is to take her first official ACT/SAT 2nd semester of next year (her jr year), unless she takes to it easier than I am expecting. So we have plenty of time for warmup.

useless or worth going through? I have two SAT-prep books that dd1 never used, since she was ACT-all the way. We have the Blue "Official" SAT and, I think Barron's SAT prep books. If dd2 were to take some of these tests just to start adjusting to the "idea" of standardized tests... and then we purchase the new books with the "revised" SAT info and she continued with those... would that be useful? Or better to start a hesitant test-taker off with the "NEW" SAT prep books? (she will WANT to take as many practice tests as she can get her hands on.) DD1 - I just threw books at her and she scarfed down the information in whatever format it was presented. DD2 - needs a little sugar to help the medicine go down. The plan right now is for her to take a practice ACT and a practice SAT without any prep. She won't know the score, but I will calculate is so that I can gauge her weak spots and we can start there. She'll prep for a while, and then take another ACT/SAT. At that point, I'll make a call as to which test she seems to favor and we'll go from there. I'm just unsure if these "old format" books are useless or not... :/ Which would be a shame... lol

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I've had similar experiences. Mostly, people assume I have a degree - heck, they assume I have multiple degrees most of the time. It often happens when I'm talking to multiple-degreed parents whose kids are in private schools about homeschooling. They'll carry on about how my kids are turning out "great" because I'm so well-educated myself... and then I have to interrupt (Nope! Just a high school graduate here! :seeya: )... then they inevitable painfully awkward backtracking because they thought for sure that I "was the most educated person in the room." Nope! :smilielol5: Well, maybe. Well-read, most-studious person, perhaps. But, not the most educated by far. :001_tt2: DH tells me that assumptions can work both ways and if I feel awkward correcting these people about my lack of education, I should just let them prattle on about what a genius I am (lol) and let it go. But, I can't. :leaving: Now that I'm ready to return to the workforce, the lack of a degree is stifling. I can't waltz into a place and assure them that they want to hire me even though I can't check off any of the boxes on the application! So - I feel your pain. Sounds like the counselor has a good plan of action for your ds. And this is a very good reminder for me to have dd practice taking the SAT. So far I've only had ACT on my brain, but she may fare better with the SAT. :grouphug:

Luckily, we actually know a few kids who have already earned these scholarships from the 2 local universities dd is considering. Their stats are strong/solid, but nothing dd can't reach. These aren't competitive universities, but they have excellent programs in the two main areas of study that did is considering (the music dept is competitive... but not the university-as-a-whole). At the larger, state uni, we also know a student who received the leadership scholarship - and she was like you described. 34 ACT, loads of other stuff. DD1 wasn't even offered that scholarship at that university, even though she ticked all the boxes & more. DD2 isn't even bothering to apply there due to their lack of scholarship offerings.

nevermind :D

:001_wub: That's so sweet. And so... wow. It goes quickly, doesn't it?

First - I love this thread. We're in a similar boat. DD1 was a test-taking goddess. She excels at challenging classes and she was involved in eleventy-billion extra-curriculars and had dozens of people fighting to write letters of recommendation for her. DD2? Those stupid tests may be the be-all, end-all for her regarding big scholarship dollars. She can barely keep her attention on ten questions at a time before sort of deflating and melting down. (Now, granted - those 10 questions will likely be CORRECT... but they take a LOT of energy out of her) Now, which of those dds is more self-sufficient, more productive? Which do I predict great, great things from? That'd be DD2. lol Test scores be damned. :p We are looking at some schools with leadership scholarships. Usually those are listed differently from the purely academic-driven, test-score-driven scholarships. Some universities have full-rides and lesser scholarships listed beneath the "leadership" banner. Others have community service scholarships. DD2 will also have an army to write letters on her behalf. I'm ensuring that she's in more outsourced classes than DD1 (so she can have "teachers" available for letters of recommendation). She is tentatively planning to be a music major, so right now - her focus is 100% on her instrument because that's #1 place for her to earn scholarship dollars. #2 is with the leadership scholarship possibilities. She's also planning to work through college, very part-time, at least. DD1 "works" for her tuition via her NCAA sport, so DD2 figures she can work approximately the same hours as DD1 and earn her own money that way. She's very practical about it. (With the understanding that if she DOES become a music major, working that many hours probably will not be even close to possible. So she's practical about that as well... lol) We start test-prep over the summer. She's far enough along in math now (she'll be taking Pre-Calc next year) and she's more confident than she was this time last year, so... I am hopeful. She just panics when it's time for a big test and doesn't handle that kind of pressure well. (Now performing on stage? She's cool as a cucumber. Bossing dozens of older people around? No problem. Mention ACT or SAT prep? She turns green and all the life is sucked out of her. *sigh*) THIS was what caused a lot of tension between dds high school coach and I last year when dd was going through the recruiting process. Several schools were interested in dd, and I reiterated to her coach about her primary concern (among schools she liked well enough, of course) was scholarship dollars. He enthusiastically gave me stats for previous athletes who'd gotten large scholarships. I went home and plugged those numbers into the financial calculators and realized that the parents were still footing $25K++ out of pocket! Uh, NO! To US, that was certainly not "affordable" by any means. He was frustrated at dd because she turned down a prestigious university that had offered her an "enormous" scholarship - but it was still too much for us to pocket (can't combine financial aid with athletic scholarship). I had to go back to his office and have another chat with him to back off dd with his giant attitude about it. Geez!! I generously offered that HE could pay the difference if he was so very concerned. :glare:

The more "common" APs for 9th graders that I have seen is Comp Sci, Psychology, Geography, and Eviro Sci.

My math-y, math-loving dd went from wanting to major in engineering, to math (before enrolling in college), to Athletic Training, and now wants to switch to Psychology. 😳 So I'm really of no help whatsoever. 😜 She plans to be a Physical Therapist eventually, so her undergrad degree choice doesn't really matter in her case... she's just putting in the hours at this point.

That is a beautiful policy. My freshman dd would be incredibly jealous if she knew that was a Real Thing That Happens to Other People (as she's studying wildly for 5 finals right now, lol!!)

:party: Such a true statement! :seeya:

UGH. People. :glare: At our house, it was the opposite. DS had a head full of beautiful curls. I let it grow out because (a) I'm hair-lazy and a huge advocate for never getting a haircut unless your really, really have to (lol) and (b) he was adorable with those cherub curls. However, once my sleep-deprived brain realized that I was spending MORE TIME fixing HIS curly-rat's-nest-baby-hair than that of his two older sisters combined... I had his hair cut short. O.M.G. You'd have thought that I had tattooed his face or something from the extremely negative reactions I received - not even from friends and family - but from the librarians, the ladies at a store I frequented, etc, etc. It was redonkulous and I'm still a little peeved about it, tbh. :glare: (His new haircut was cute. So :001_tt2: to those people. grrrrr...)

I am so thankful for this post! The past 6 months or so I have been doing this. Replacing or completely forgetting simple, common words. It usually happens when I am stretched thin or trying to talk to more than one family member at the same time - but it's a bit alarming to go searching for a word and *know* that I know it... but can't find it! Like I simply sat it down in the wrong spot or something! It's a relief to see that it happens to others as well. Now I'm gonna tell my family that it's a real thing that happens and to stop teasing me when it happens. 🙄

LOL!! Our 14yo ds is fine. It's my college-aged daughter. Omg! 🙄 She didn't go through the typical/annoying teenage phases while she was a young teen. Apparently she saved it all up for her late-teen/early adult years. Funnnnnn. Summer's going to be... interesting... when she's back home... 😄 She's so used to her independence at college... Since she knows everything, I'm hoping I can just bite my tongue and carry on... lol

*winces* :svengo:

This is what we keep hearing as well. Makes the decision to "choose music" all the more stressful!!

Ah, but where's the fun in that?!??!?! :rofl: