I have one in a Ph.D. program in engineering and another in a master's program in operations research. Both are fully funded, but the stipends are very different. The Ph.D. one is a decent salary by most standards and includes free health insurance (the plan offered to profs) and transportation perks; the master's one is low enough that if he had no savings and was in a high cost of living area he would need a SMALL loan each year to stay afloat. (He's living at home so he is saving a bundle.) The master's student is required to TA for his stipend; the Ph.D. is funded through a NSF grant and does research to "earn" her stipend. But fully funded they are, enough so that they both are putting money in their retirement accounts in grad school! Back in the day, my hubby and I were both fully and generously funded for our master's degrees in engineering. We saved the down payment for our first house while in grad school!

Make a restaurant reservation EARLY! It all depends on how large the community is where the college is located, but if it's a small community people probably started making reservations at the desirable restaurants in January! Motel and hotel reservations -- EARLY! My kids went to a small college (~400 graduates each year) and the hotels were totally and completely filled over a year in advance. Some parents made reservations when they dropped their kid off at the beginning of freshman year! One thing to check -- some college restrict the number of guests each student can bring to graduation. You might want to confirm that you can bring as many as you want before you invite boatloads of relatives! (Again, at my kids' school only children were very popular at graduation -- other students with more siblings/relatives asked the only children for their extra tickets to use for their own families!)

If she really wants to do a gap year, she should do a gap year, but it will be risky. * If the internship works out, having a cool internship will make her a much stronger candidate so she is quite likely to get accepted again. * However, if the internship falls through and she ends up working at the local burger joint or twiddling her thumbs, the gap year will weaken her application considerably.

Merit aid rocks. Just sayin'. Reading this thread makes my head spin. I am very thankful that we "merit-aided" our way through the college finance maze. I can't imagine withdrawing money out of our retirement account or taking on loans for each of our four kids. What a strange world we live in! BTW, my father was one of those kids in the 50's who truly worked his way through college. His parents didn't want him to go and didn't spend a dime on his education. He did live at home, but that was the extent of their support. He worked as the sound person at a radio station about ten hours a week earning good money and that paid his way through college. Nowadays "earning good money" for 10 hours a week might pay for the "fees" at our local college!

I think threads like this can be helpful, but PLEASE please remember that a student does not NEED every single one of these elements to be more than competitive. As one admissions counselor put it in a talk, "If your kid cured cancer, we won't care that he didn't have the fourth year of a foreign language." Well, my kids didn't cure cancer, but -- * one of mine got accepted to UVA as an Echols Scholars and to U. Chicago with only two consecutive years of a foreign language and two years' of science labs (and he attended a top-20 LAC on a merit-based full-ride scholarship!) * one of mine was accepted to W&M as a Monroe Scholar with NO labs whatsoever -- and attended a top-20 LAC on a full-tuition merit scholarship! (She had some seriously amazing strengths, but she did have "holes".) * one of mine was accepted to W&M as a Monroe Scholar with only ten hours of community service, three years of a foreign language and two years of science labs. (She has other major major strengths and is incredibly active in the community -- but people keep on paying her!!) I mention these just to show that your kid doesn't need to do EVERYTHING. If the admissions people really want your kid on campus, they will not care that he/she lacks a fourth year of a foreign language or labs or community service or physical education or fine arts or whatever......... Keep your eye on the big picture!

Butler University has a HUGE exchange program -- but you don't have to go to Butler to be part of their exchange program. My son spent a year at Oxford through Butler. Affter applying to Butler for the exchnage program, he then applied to Oxford through Butler. He lived at his college, was 100% an Oxford student while he was there, but Butler provided a very worthwhile orientation, handled the visa, and coordinated with Oxford so he received American credits for his classes. Then his college took the info from Butler and incorporated the Oxford classes into his college transcript. The whole experience was highly professional -- my husband and I were extremely impressed!

Several of my kids' classes have had a maximum absence policy -- with the maximum absence being two or three per semester. Being away for a week could use all the allowable absences, leaving nothing if your student got sick or overslept or whatever. (My dd's foreign language class meets 5 days per week, so for her missing a week of classes would exceed her maximum allowable absences.) Also, what about quizzes and exams? If a student misses a quiz or an exam for a personal reason, a prof might not be obligated to give the exam to the student when the student gets back.

It depends on the kid and the college. My kids all took Calculus 1 and Calculus 2 in high school at a "public Ivy" 4-year college. Three went on in math/science and had no problems at all with their higher-level classes. One went to a small engineering school (Webb) that does not allow any transfer credits of any kind, so he had to start with Calculus 1 again. For him, the class had so many boat-related applications that the class was NOT review and he was glad he had to take it. Be careful taking college classes in high school -- if he applies to grad school, he will need to send that transcript! College grades, even if taken in high school, will form part of his PERMANENT record.

Waiting. Actually, none of the colleges even have all her documentation == she is having problems getting the forms from College A to College B. The problem mayy be that College A is not sending them; the problem may be that College B is not receiving them. Yikes! <Tapping foot on floor loudly!>

William & Mary has a highly regarded marine biology program, but if you are OOS it would be expensive -- there is essentially no merit aid available.

I transferred many years ago. It was the best thing I could have done. Transferring is not easy, but it can be VERY worthwhile. My dd2 is planning on transferring next fall. She has three applications out and we are in waiting mode. After such high hopes in the first round, it's hard to face up to the fact that things didn't end up as we hoped, but she is moving forward and hopefully a different program will work out better. Please at least remind your son that transferring is an option. It comes with a cost -- arriving a year or two after everyone has already formed social connections and possibly having to live off campus means that you most likely won't be part of a "crowd" -- but if you know why you left and you know why are chose the new school, the benefits can be worth the cost.

Our freshman pays for all her own expenses like textbooks, gas, meals out with friends, and random personal stuff. (She has a job.) We provide room and board, car insurance, and laundry services. She has a crazy-busy schedule involving academics, practicing, and several paying jobs. From early high school days, I know that she CAN maintain a household but we prefer her to focus on academics, her music, and her multiple jobs. (She has calculated that she makes music for nearly 40 hours per week on top of her academics. A few of those hours are paid resume-building jobs; all of them are worthwhile. She is a BUSY person!) Her only chores are chipping in when asked, which happens rarely. We may be unusual, but we regard this time when she is living at home as a surprise gift. We are cherishing her time with us and not having her do much in the way of chores is our gift to her during this VERY stressful crazy-busy time in her life.

Quote from my dd -- "My semester left without me....." She had a crazy-busy time between semesters and barely drew in her breath before the semester started. She then had something out of state on Friday so had to miss the third day of classes (though thankfully she didn't have any that actually met). We'll see. She is taking the minimum number of credits for full-time status, so hopefully she will not go as crazy as she did last semester!

W&L at least USED to be relatively open to using other means of gauging a student's academic skills other than SAT-2's. A homeschooled member of the class of 2012 submitted community college grades and AP scores in lieu of SAT-2's, and he was not only accepted but offered a full-tuition scholarship. Hopefully W&L is still that flexible. Asking won't hurt! At least in 2007 Davidson was extremely homeschooler-unfriendly. There was an amusing / sad thread on College Confidential about homesschoolers with 2400 SAT's and Davidson rejections. There were eight homeschoolers from that year alone who had both the perfect SAT score AND a Davidson rejection. My dd2 is currently attending William & Mary, and she can't say enough good about it. She is having by far the most positive college experience out of our four kids. I am seriously impressed by the college! :hurray: (Translation -- I can't recommend it highly enough!)

Washington & Lee -- I have two students who graduated from there. Fantastic education and CARING profs. The profs opened lots of doors for my kids, ones that they didn't even dream were options. Dd is pursuing her Ph.D. right now thanks to the encouragement of a chemistry prof there. Ds spent his junior year at Oxford. A real dream education. W&L has lots of merit aid available -- one of my kids (before the Johnson was available) was given full-tuition (which scales with tuition every year), and one of my kids was a Johnson winner and not only had a full ride but received enough additional moneys to cover not only the taxes but a bit. (Ds saved about $5K per year during college because of the Johnson in addition to what he earned.) W&L also has lots of summer internship grants available. Only downside of W&L -- it's fairly Greek-centered. Furman -- Don't get me started. Apparently they have a reputation for giving generous merit aid that has requirements that preclude the kid actually graduating in four years. There was a scandal about it a few years ago, and given my dd's experience last spring, not much has changed. Definitely visit the campus. It's beautiful, but the students and profs make up the experience, not the campus. WARNING -- Furman does NOT accept any college classes taken during high school for college credit no matter what, even Calculus I taken at William & Mary!!!!! Also, check out the gen ed requirements -- the word "convoluted" is putting a positive spin on them.

Thanks for this thread. It's nice knowing that others share the aching heart. Dd2 is a freshman in college living at home, but she is investigating transferring. I am trying (unsuccessfully) to wrap my brain around what life will be like next fall with no kids living at home. She flew out this morning for the weekend, and I am in tears -- not because of the weekend but because the emptiness around the house now will most likely be the "new normal" next September. She is #4, so I have sent three others off into the world, but the idea of my baby leaving is SO hard.

One other hidden cost -- summer orientation! At the college dd accepted last spring (but is not attending), summer orientation was MANDATORY and students had to pay $250 each to attend. Of course, parents were also required to attend, and since it was an overnight affair this involved a night in a hotel (plus an additional night in a hotel since we live 8 hours away so arriving at 9 a.m. required a hotel stay). Two nights in a hotel Three dinners two lunches gas for the nearly 1,000 mile drive there and back $250 for the student to attend totals to a not insignificant amount of money -- and we had NO idea that this was going to happen until we received an email about it after she accepted. Yes, we could afford it, but that's enough money that I assume it was a huge issue for some families.

One hidden "cost" I was totally unaware of was summer internships. Some internships pay. Some pay expenses but nothing above that. And some are purely volunteer. In dd's field (art conservation), students are expected to acquire hundreds of hours of internship experience. We always thought summers were for earning money, not spending it! Thankfully, some colleges (hers included) have VERY generous programs that not only cover the costs associated with interesting internships but actually PAY the student for doing an interesting experience. Thanks to grant programs through the college, dd1 spent a summer in Holland at a volunteer high-prestige internship at big art conservation facility and it only cost her $1000 (which, given the cost of living in Amsterdam, is saying something! Her studio apartment cost nearly $2000 per month!). Dd1 spent another summer doing a volunteer internship at the Smithsonian, and, thanks to her generous grant from the college, she actually made some money that summer! Dd2 is still in the application process for a grant for this summer that would pay her a generous hourly rate for doing an activity that is not only in her field but that if money were no object she would spend the summer doing! :001_smile: So do check and see if your college offers summer grants for motivated students. Depending on your financial situation, it can make the difference between doing amazing internships and spending the summer as a lifeguard or waiter. It was a benefit that I neither knew existed nor understood the need for it before my dd's stay in Holland.

Don't rule out national awards yet! The ones my kids have earned have been despite me, not because of me. They have been in areas I know nothing about and I did not push the kids in those areas. The kids themselves took the initiative. Sample conversation around 8th grade: "Mom, can I...?" "Um, no, it would take too much time / cost too much / be too inconvenient....." "But what if I do it this way?" "All right, I guess we as a family can handle that." And years later, after umpteen hours of work by kid: "But now I need...." "Yup, you have put a lot in and it's fair that we support you as you go to a different level." Not all awards are because parents drive or even encourage their kids in the activity! Kids sometimes just get a bee in their bonnet and go for the gold!

Double post! Sorry.

My kids have been accepted by all kinds of great schools, including two at a top-15 LAC on a full-ride merit scholarship. Did my kids do all kinds of crazy things to get admitted? NO! Well, they did do crazy things -- but just because that's who they are, not because they wanted some college to admit them. They are interesting, passionate kids. They didn't hoop jump (see all my posts about not meeting the foreign language "requirement" and their lack of science labs). They led interesting lives, had intense interests, and lived out of the box. Colleges seemed to find that desirable. i have finally decided that colleges know what they want in a student, but they don't know how to describe it. As a result, all kinds of people make rules about the colleges that don't really exist. (Everyone in my neck of the woods says you need 6 AP's in order to get accepted by UVA. Well, no, you don't. You don't even need 6 to get accepted as an Echols Scholar. But people would rather share their nonexistent knowledge about the so-called "requirements" and get freaked out by the intensity than listen to someone tell them their kid does not need 6 AP's!)

Starting the scholarship process that early is CRAZY! Maybe the idea is that in the process of applying the student will fall in love with the school? I think it is just plain bizarre. Some colleges have slightly earlier application deadlines for scholarship applications, but all the ones we dealt with were still in the Nov. 1 - Dec. 15 time frame. BTW, if a college wants a student, they will offer the kid money regardless of deadlines. My dd missed the scholarship deadline for Furman (long story why) and still was offered a full-ride. The money just came out of a different pot -- instead of being one of the standard named full-ride scholarships, the scholarship had an unusual name that we couldn't find even by googling it! Different name but same money.....

My older two kids bought prep book, looked through it in order to get a feel for the exam, and then took it (quite successfully) with no further work. Way back in the dark ages I took it with no prep whatsoever (and was happy with my score). The GRE isn't like the LSAT or the MCAT or even the SAT -- you can walk in cold and do very well, though at least some familiarity with the exam is beneficial. It is done online, so if you are going the prep book route, make sure that the program comes with a way to do sample problems on the computer. (All of the prep materials may be done on the computer now, but my kids took it right after it went online, and the prep book they used was paper only. Both of them were startled at how different taking an exam online is!)

Thanks! Yup, she has three LOR's lined up from people who have worked with her this fall. :closedeyes:

Going through the college application process the first time was so much fun that dd decided we should do it again! (NOT!) :banghead: So -- dd technically has nearly 70 credits, which puts her well beyond needing to submit any high school materials, but since she just completed her first "real" semester of college we definitely are going to submit her high school transcript, course descriptions, and school profile. What I am still trying to figure out is whether or not to include the counselor letter. I am NOT going to update it -- life is too crazy and I'm sure no public school counselor would update a letter from the previous year. The letter does give a window into who dd is, but I did write it a year ago. Thoughts? (And I rejoiced this time last year because I thought I would never need to deal with this process again!)