We applied end of February for DD for a May trip once we knew it was happening, and paid for expedited. When we paid for expedited, they said current times are 3-5 weeks. I've been tracking online, and I've noticed the quoted time on the Expedited service has been changing. At first it said 3-5 weeks. Last week it started to say 5-7 weeks. This morning when I check it says "Expedited service can take 7-9 weeks." Meanwhile, travel company wants a copy of her passport application so they can make airline reservations with her name exactly as it will appear on the passport. Except.. we had to change a section while we were applying at the post office and so we just did a whole new application, and I don't have a copy of that. Here's to hoping I can get it right! I wouldn't be so stressed about it, really, except my mom is involved in all this planning (she is traveling with DD). She has never traveled out of country herself before AND she is a highly anxious person with nothing else to focus on right now. So she is raising all of the stress levels when it really shouldn't be THIS stressful.

Yes, we think/know that his childhood experiences probably triggered the bipolar. He has been doing EMDR for the past 2-3 years trying to address the PTSD part of the ball of yarn. It's been the most helpful form of therapy for him; I think a big side benefit for him is that the therapist has to stick to a script, and it takes out personality/too much freewheeling talk time (besides the actual method addresses his needs). He has been actively resolving some memories and processing the trauma, the problem is that there are so many memories to go through. I will look into TRE, thank you for the suggestion.

Came up with it after the budget attempt failed. When we tried the budget approach, he still had money coming in, and still were working under the assumption he'd bounce completely (or mostly) back. But once his income basically stopped, and I saw how the budget approach was adding to his stress and anxiety, I came up with the solution that we have stuck with. You know, the first 3-4 years or so, so 2017-2020(1?), I definitely fell to the wayside. I think it was necessary, it was a matter of survival for a while. For me, the pandemic did have a benefit of pausing all of the outside things, and gave me a chance to finally catch up first on the household front, then on myself. I'd say this last year I've been making a more conscious effort. I don't do too much and haven't picked up all the things I used to do, but I'm trying to grow it. And trying to really work on double-ups. For example. for work I have to have my nails done in this environment, so instead of just rushing through and painting a basic nude color (ie, easiest fastest solution), I make it a whole thing where I watch a movie while I do them, and I do themed colors and stamping patterns (this week is green for St. Patrick's!). It takes maybe 30 minutes - hour longer than the easy way, but it let's me be a little creative. I have a garden of sick plants from the grocery floral dept clearance section, I bring them to work and see if I can save them; they don't all make it, but I don't feel too guilty since they were already bad off when I got them. I think I have 26 plants at my desk right now, plus a few are "vacationing" in someone's office; overall I have a great rate of recovery! So, little things, but they make me happy 🙂 I don't have social media (besides the forum) but I started an instagram account today just so I can start "journaling" some of my plants' progress, lol. I appreciate your post, it made me take a moment and think about how I could get more out of what I'm already doing, and I think have a visual record will be fun!

I was debating sharing more information on this part, mostly so as not to bore the reader lol, but figure it may help someone. Finances are a big issue because it's both a huge anxiety point for him, and it can become a trigger in itself, but then once he is in mania it becomes a control issue. We've tried allowances and budgets, but consistently if he KNOWS there is money to spend it triggers anxiety first, then obsessive thoughts, then spending he can't control, then spending he doesn't want to control. The solution we've come to is he has all access and no knowledge. He can technically GO to the bank and see our account and move money around, but he can't log in online. At any time he can ask to see the accounts and I will bring up all of the balances. But, I will ask why he wants to know first, and if actual numbers are going to be helpful to his wellbeing. So far, he's never asked to see. He has no idea how much he's made since 2017, he doesn't know how much I make, he has no idea how much our expenses are beyond "groceries and socks" and that I'm sometimes saving up for some repair or other. He has not seen our tax returns since 2017. He knows we have some savings but that we cannot access it except for emergencies (and that I would need to be present to access it). He has a credit card, and it is linked with one of mine, so he can buy whatever he wants and doesn't need to wait or ask permission; for our entire marriage a purchase above $$ has to be discussed, we continue that. His card has a limit, too, just in case. His only financial responsibility is to keep receipts for business purchases and give them to me at tax time. This started when we basically lost his income; it was easier to convince him when we had nothing to manage, lol. He knows we had some really lean years 2018-2020, where I made it work through sheer willpower, and I think after that he figures even if I spend all the money now we're in no worse shape than we were, lol. Even when we were struggling, especially when we were struggling, I made his requests a priority so that way he didn't feel dismissed or controlled around money. Today, he no longer cares about finances past being able to purchase what he needs for his work (which isn't much). The end result is it relieves a burden off of him because he doesn't have to manage it or worry about providing for the family when he's well, and then doesn't have the temptation when he knows he's starting to slip but is trying to control the spiral.

A couple of the recent threads prompted me to go back to my old thread regarding DH and his mental health. For those who don't remember or weren't here, my DH is bipolar and had his first Big manic episode in 2017. The episode was characterized by hyper sexuality, personality changes, feeling trapped and anti-monogamy, trying to date, impulse spending, wanting to change careers, moving out for a few days, and a few other things. I read all 16 pages again, quite a ride. I read myself and I sound so much younger then, lol. I didn't really need to remind myself of the experience, haven't forgotten much, but it was a good reminder about how far we've come, especially as we're coming out of his latest manic episode since then. I've given glimpses and talked about things in response to other threads, but thought it might be an appropriate time to give an update. [But, this isn't in response or a "message" to any particular situation/poster currently going on. Just when an update feels appropriate from my viewpoint. It's all a bit self-indulgent, but I'm processing his latest manic episode still, and I guess this is almost my wrap-up and closure for this latest chapter.] So post-episode 2017, we made some immediate changes: we took away his access to finances, and eventually did figure out medication. I feel very fortunate that, unlike many people with bipolar, he has no inclination or want to get off medication and sees it as completely necessary. Being a couple hours late on a dose seems to have an impact on him, at least for a couple of medications, and so he is pretty religious about how he takes things. Even in the middle of a manic phase he will not try to stop taking medication. We eliminated as many stressors as we could, including selling the house and moving away from his family, and going no contact with them. We have made mental health a very open subject in the household, discussing coping strategies, emotions, practicing different scenarios and coping strategies, etc. with the kids. He frequently apologizes for what has happened in the past, even though he honestly doesn't remember the worse parts of his manic episodes. But he knows and appreciates everything I do, and allowing him to live the life he is currently living. He knows it wouldn't be possible without me. He does what he can to show appreciation. We have fun together, weekly date nights, lots of joking around, family dinner, we still work the business together (though me at a smaller amount), and are affectionate. If you had a camera follow us around a regular span of time, we'd seem like a pretty happy couple, and in most ways, we are. But, while they say you can have a full recovery after a manic episode, he didn't. It seems that his 2017 experience was really just the big fat domino that has unfortunately cascaded to long-term consequences even when he's stable. And drew back the curtain on a great deal more mental health issues, things like PTSD from childhood abuse, that were hidden beforehand. Some things never went back to before: - He will probably never be a stable source of income. While he is recognized as a leader in his industry, and is just a name you'd know if you were in the industry, he is not stable enough to take on big clients or contracts that would require consistency for more than a couple months. All of his efforts are going into personal projects now. Any income is a bonus to the role his work plays in his mental stability. (And, I think because I put no pressure or expectations on his business supporting us, it is actually doing more and better than if it was still our main source of income) - He is not currently, and probably never will be, a full partner in life. He simply cannot cope with the stresses of daily life. We are at the level he can make maybe 1 dinner a week so long as it isn't a set day, and he does his own laundry. He can't do more. He can't watch the news or stay up to date with current events. He can't go out of the house more than 2 days a week without starting to see ill effects. We tried to give him dinners 3 days a week, and it quickly sent him into a downward spiral, and partially triggered his last manic episode. He steps in and up when I really need it, like when I dislocated my knee, or when I got Covid, but he can't take on full-time responsibilities. The majority of his efforts have to go into staying at his level of function; once he diverts efforts towards house or life, it all falls apart. In the idea of spoons: he has 3 spoons, one for himself, one for the kids, one for his work. No more spoons. In my darker moments I feel played the fool, but when I objectively take time to look at the situation I know it's literally the best he can do. He cannot cope, no matter how much he tries or wants to. He apologizes and feels like he should be able to, but he isn't there yet and frankly I doubt he ever will be, even though I encourage his positive movement towards it. And I have to appreciate how much effort he puts into just this level of function. I realized a couple years ago that the effort he has to put in to do what he is, is more than the effort I have to put into my responsibilities, it's just the effort/outcome are not easily visible. We have gone through 3 manic episodes since 2017, the last one is still wrapping up. They were much smaller and more manageable, partially due to prior agreements we have in place that I can enact when he's in mania, partially the medication. The 2019 and 2021 episodes were at the level we didn't need to do much coping or emergency work, just a lot of late night talking and "day dates" where he spent the day in the same room as me while I did whatever I had to do; they were almost exercises. 2023 was much worse but not at 2017 levels. I was able to manage it while still holding a new job, and the kids had to take a few more weeks with family than I'd like, but it's been about a couple weeks since what I consider the bottom of the depressive phase, and I'm very happy with the relative little fallout from it all, and the relative short length. Not that it was easy, or that I liked it, and there was actually an alarming development in one of his acting out strategies, but I know it could have been much much worse and much longer. It did, however, cement to me that I need to accept this may be as good as it gets. I am still planning long-term how I will be okay with this new life. I still love him, but the dynamic is changed. Some days it's more a single parent to 5 kids lifestyle. But other days it isn't, and it's good, and I am grateful that I can still find joy in it all. I also wanted to thank you guys for your support during the 2017 episode. No one will ever know what really happened besides myself, not even DH since he can't remember. But the Board got the most information because it was the safest place I felt, and gave the most helpful advice, and the best support, and I really appreciate that all. Reading back on it made me very grateful.

The bolded concerns me. What advice, exactly, was so wrong of your daughter to follow? To consider separation/divorce in the case he wouldn't get off the medication (after saying he didn't want to...)? To make sure she took a necessary amount of cash out in case he cut her off from money and credit (which he did...)? To find a safe place he didn't know about in case he tried to hurt her and the kids (which he did...)? To file for a protective order so that she could have the house and stability for two young children (while he changed the locks and bragged about it....)? To protect herself and her children? Was that the wrong advice? That caused HIM hurt? That gave HIM distrust? When you see an obviously abusive situation, and then it turns into a "both sides" song... One person was aggressive, abusive, and creating an unsafe environment for the family. Everything she did was a REACTION she would not have done if she didn't have to protect herself and the children. His feelings are hurt that she protected herself AND THE CHILDREN. He is making her feel bad for doing so. Blaming her. Just because his feelings are hurt doesn't mean she did something wrong. Huge red flag. Re the phone: if she was on the account it's easy enough for her to see if its activity was paused/cut off. Call her provider. If he changed the password to the online portal, it does not lend credence he did nothing else.

I think we can pray that he is moving in the right direction, while still using caution about actually taking any action that relies on his good nature at this point. She knows, as a pharmacist, how drugs can manipulate and change one's behavior. Please appeal to her professional side about how likely it is that he has in this-span-of-time since dodging the last serving attempt and turning off her phone, that he is capable of making a firm commitment and actually be himself, when she has no actual knowledge of what he has been doing during all this time. You mention how friends and people at church have kept "open lines of communication" and have "encouraged" him, etc., but no one it seems in your circles actually knows what he is doing other than little snapshots. You know what he was doing for maybe 15 minutes of his day yesterday (ie, while he turned off her phone): thats .01% of just yesterday that you know what he was doing and it isn't a great .01%, the rest is a complete mystery. Can she risk her children to a situation where she has no knowledge? Why not get him to meet with friends and family first, before losing her protective order? If he is sincerely more like himself, he will understand and applaud and thank her for protecting the children so well. If he balks and chafes at any caution or implication that he hasn't been himself recently or that he's the one at fault in why there have to be these precautions, well, there's your answer.

Can you share the playlist from the iPad, sending it to yourself as a text message link? Click Share Playlist, then choose Messages option, then type in your own contact info? Or, since it's to a laptop, maybe an email link would work better.

I mean, being in the same room is not the same as attending your articles. She wasn't with her bag. If she WAS with the bag, OP wouldn't have had to ask [multiple times] whose bag it was. If you left your bag next to a bench in a public gallery, a large room with multiple people milling about, so that you can look at the art, I assume you aren't also watching your bag while looking at the art. She was breaking the stated rules [which are also common sense and known generally in our culture] and got called out. OP didn't call her a terrorist, and she's the one who made the jump to bringing that up, which means she knows what she was doing, what a perceived unattended bag brings up, and what the reaction would be. She could have reacted in a myriad of ways, and chooses to go on the offensive after breaking the rules. Again, regardless of the level of threat, her actions were not something worth defending.

We are not animal people; maybe me and the kids could be, but DH is anti-pets, especially anti-dog, due to stuff from his childhood. Plus, allergies. Without hesitation, if we encountered a dog like that, and determined it wasn't rabid (lol), we would help. It wouldn't get in a car with us, but we'd pull over and walk it around houses in the area, and walk it to our house if close enough (like a couple miles). We'd call animal control if we were too far away. But, if we brought it to our house, it'd be outside in the yard with constant people and snacks making sure it was okay. I can see DH grumbling a bit in a "don't get attached" type of way, and be annoyed at the time and disruption to whatever was supposed to be going on, but not angry enough to pick at it with me, he'd agree that it's a living thing so it's the right thing to do. He'd just stay away from it and not be involved, really, but he wouldn't prevent us from helping.

Politely, it is not trolling to ask once or maybe twice. But the OP has already declined to give that information at this time — you responded to that post, so you know that already — and while you can *want to know*, it does not mean you *need to know* or are *entitled to know.* If you asking because you sincerely want to know out of concern for yourself or others, you still don’t need to know at this point after the OP declined, and could probably research further for information about common chemicals used to this purpose; that would probably suit your concern better, anyway. And if there’s any other reason for asking, it still does not entitle you to know, and asking further would be at best rude and probably, yes, trolling.

You drive, it's your car. The rest is the reason Shotgun was invented. If they don't want to sit in the front enough to fight for it, drive around the block until they are willing to play as Nature intended. Millions of years of evolution have found the perfect answer, I refuse to accept any other solution!

I can understand your concern. Every priest is different, and different days you're going to get more or less counsel-to-penance ratio even with the same priest. Since your son is in therapy and knows why he "lied" in the first place, I doubt that a generic "try to tell the truth to your Dad next time" is going to erase all of those reasons and the working-out-strategies you/therapist have helped him with already. If your son is taking a priest's advice of "try to honor your parents more" so literally after a confession that he immediately wants to call his Dad, he just might be looking for permission from someone (anyone) to do something he already wants to do. He might subconsciously craft his confession to elicit that response exactly just so he can put the burden onto the priest, or "blame" the priest later about having to do this thing. In which case, it doesn't really matter what the priest says or doesn't say. Would you feel comfortable going to confession yourself, or to the confessional at least, to get a sense of the priest and how they dole out their penance/counsel? You don't even have to make a confession, just a brief explanation of what you're trying to figure out. (You've said that the Church teaches you're Catholic, but idk what that actually means in terms of if you are a practicing Catholic or how comfortable you are currently in the setting, and so I'm hesitating to offer this idea.) For what it's worth, a priest has never given me a penance that would make me take action to change something I've done (like apologize to someone, or go tell the truth about the missing cookie), they've always focused on doing better next time. editing to say my idea about going into the confessional is more based on an imagination you're just popping into the church during the regular confession schedule and don't know which priest will be there that day or there's multiple priests and so the only way you know which priest you're getting is by going in.To control for that instead, it's probably easier to just schedule an off-time for him as others have suggested.

I need to rework what I wanted to do for American History. So, looking for a more student-independent or teacher-minimal approach. Any recommendations? I've been reading some past threads, and Cathy Duffy reviews, but I haven't seen too much that doesn't rely on the teacher to a medium-heavy extent. Most of the books I'm finding are either high school level, or for grades 3-4. I can/will still add in book readings and movies to the appropriate time period (Johnny Tremain, Laura Ingalls Wilder, etc) but I can't rely on me to pull things together in a teacher-intensive way or do the building from a spine as I have always done in the past.

Agreeing with @Bootsie about getting the idea of 'to go' or 'drive thru' into the title if you can, or prominent on the sign. If you're thinking of doing morning or morning-early afternoon hours: Morning Rush [Coffee] Morning Jolt Drive Thru Breakfast Brake [Drive & Go] [& Go] For less-time constrained name: Mountain Jo on the Go [Jo to Go] Caffiene in a Hurry Cruisin' Coffee -or- Coffee Cruise-In Clutch Coffee Barista Brake Rush Hour Roast This sounds like a fun adventure you guys are considering, best of luck!

With the new job I need to set my wake up time to 6am. If there is a good reason to wake up at 5am instead, I'm willing to listen. What's the reasoning in the book, in a nutshell? Or, do I need to read the whole thing to be convinced?

I have a recipe. It's easier if it's shown to you in person since so much is done by feel I guess? I can't find my copy but have texted my mom for it. I'll update when she texts. (eta: she's probably asleep already so may be a bit) Are you looking for red Chile, or green corn, or ?

Yes, because obviously it's the furniture that's the problem. You know, I'd be a lot more forgiving towards SIL if she wanted to keep her home and was doing everything in her power to make that as comfortable and as safe as possible for MIL. But that would require getting qualified people, who have experience with people in MIL's condition and able to give the level of care she needs, and value them for the care and comfort they provide. That isn't what she's looking for here. She is just searching for a new group of people she can bend to her will for a bit before they start to have opinions that differ, then rinse and repeat.

I feel for you and your friend. I'm sorry she is going through this, and that you have to go through watching it. I don't have any good advice or insight. I will say that when my person is in a state of mental unwellness (which includes paranoia but not to the degree your friend seems to be experiencing), I cannot outright deny anything. "Denial is the first sign" is literally how they see any attempt to defend myself or point out the inconsistencies in their thought process. Sometimes I can ask questions that quasi-lead to the absurdity of what they think, but usually once they catch on it doesn't end well. You are long distance and not in constant contact, so I don't know how that would play out in your situation. Commiseration and assurance that I am on their team is usually met suspiciously at first but is eventually believed (usually). I'm glad she has a supportive family structure and I hope they are able to direct her to the level of care she needs.

To agree and add: when I was last sick I was uninterested in eating anything, the only thing I ate with gusto was pomegranate. I felt immediately better after my pomegranate a day, it truly felt like it was actually doing something that the cold medicines and other vitamins weren't touching.

Well, another update, quite unexpected. Wednesday I got a call to interview. I told them I had already accepted an offer, but they said they'd still like to interview if I would be willing. I did the interview this afternoon. It went very well. I hadn't made it off the property afterwards when I got a call with an offer. It was substantially better than what I had: better pay, better benefits, better PTO, better title, larger organization. It's closer to home by 10 minutes and the day ends at 4:30 instead of 5. I had about half hour of looking over the benefits info on my phone to make a decision because I wanted to tell other place before end of day. Talked to DH briefly to make sure I wasn't missing anything. So, I've accepted this new offer. First place was not happy but I couldn't pass up the opportunity. My new start date is December 27. I'm very excited about this new position. The other offer was good but this one fits better in just about every way I can think.

We use Jarrow Whey Protein. It has no artificial sweeteners or flavors, 1g sugar in a 24g scoop serving. They have flavor versions available but we were looking for as "clean" as possible. This only has the whey and sunflower lecithin. Compared to other unflavored ones we've tried, it has a neutral taste that is doable [to us] without an strong aftertaste.

Long time, but finally a reason to update. Very happy to say!: Friday I accepted an offer of employment. It's a half hour commute, so no move necessary. The pay is commensurate with the promotion I had wanted. Not my exact field/how I wanted to grow, but a good opportunity where I can get a lot of cross-training and understanding of some closely-related areas that would be super beneficial. There are a couple certifications I should get with this position that will really help me no matter what I decide to do. I start middle of December, so I have basically a week to wrap up all the business projects I started (uh oh, lol). Also, another update: old org still does not have a Second. I had to go there for some paperwork a few weeks ago. IDK if the new lady who took my place is just that much better than me, but her desk was spotless and she was playing games on her phone for a good chunk of the time. I think more likely she just didn't get trained on anything past the basic front desk and calendar so that's all she has to do. Never seen Boss look that rough though.

For the person who has everything, or at least every book... From the Library Of... Embosser

I like the traditional aspect of St Nicholas Day! For life reasons I need to do this on a weekend, and the Thanksgiving weekend works best, so I'm afraid St. Nicholas Day won't work for at least this year. But good to know that there's something out there like this already, @Grace Hopper what a lovely story, thank you for sharing!