We call this being a Visa, as in, "You're being such a Visa." Because ... Visa is everywhere you want to be, lol. But I'm usually the Visa in our relationship, lol.

EMDR helps you process past trauma that you may not have processed already or that needs to be revisited. It would address PTSD. There is a very specific rubric/method to EMDR, it isn't just talk therapy, and the closer the practitioner sticks to the script the better it goes (in our experience). Yes, it can be done remotely, DH is currently doing this.

I'll take "Things I Never Wanted to See for $100, Alex." lol *clears out pantry of cereal*

It sounds like he is putting a lot of pressure onto himself that he has to commit to something he has to do for the rest of his life and that's why this is such a hard decision. Maybe focusing on the most general degrees available would help? Just because he gets a business degree, or a communications degree, doesn't mean that he has to go into business management or into PR, but it will get him graduated and no matter where he lands some of the knowledge/skills would be helpful.

Easily accessible outlets for charging phone, etc., preferably next to a dresser or night stand. If the outlet isn't easy to get to (behind furniture, etc), an extension cord/surge protector that is easier to get to would be amazing.

"I know I should be content to be a sport sock jock, but I'm a 100% pure cotton softie at heart, and I always wanted to run away and join the puppet show. Then one day, the dryer was left open, and I saw my chance. This is my story." SOCK IT TO ME, in theatres this winter. eta: tagline: Live outside the shoe

Funny how the people at the bottom of the totem pole know all the sh*t on the ground... I've become very document-related in the past few months in regards to some not-similar family issues. I'd half-consider printing out copies of the observations for them just so that they can't say they didn't know, or they didn't notice, and that way there's also shared documentation of some of the symptoms and how long they've been around for later (so if the doctor says "has this been for long?" the answer is "at least 6 months" instead of "I don't know when it really started, maybe a few months?") But if they are ignoring the writing on the wall, the writing on the paper may not do anything, and I do understand the added dynamic issues at play. Hugs, I hope that the meeting goes better than expected since SIL seems to have had a glimpse of reality now. And that you get some much-needed rest, too.

Tacos + Mexican sides. Most expensive part is the ground beef, so I usually get a sale (I know others here bulk up with lentils, etc). Do Spanish rice and refried beans on the side to bulk up. Taco shells are nice but optional, you can buy corn tortillas very cheap and either eat as soft tacos or bake or tacos/taquitos. Alternately, a bag of chips on the side of a taco salad is a way to keep expense down. Whole chicken. Add a veggie on the side as necessary. Boom, roasted. Fried rice. Rice with various amounts of frozen veggies, some scrambled eggs, maybe some cut up ham or chicken or something. I have a recipe that does basically the same thing with spaghetti too.

Hey, diddle, diddle, the laundry's a riddle The wash keeps going amuck The little cat plays with sequins and strings And the masks ran away with the socks.

Well, the question is, is he a purple people eater? The answer to this will definitely change how much I believe his story.* Also, I am unsure why he is blowing his cover when he acknowledges fiction is such a good one. What is his endgame? To drum up interest in his book, and hold drawings at his book signings?: winner invited to join the author at a dinner for two one? (*Fwiw, I have not seen a purple person in my life, so he is either doing a really good job, or he must be very hungry!)

My friend in junior high/high school learned to golf for this exact reason. Or, more accurately, her parents enrolled her in golf lessons. My friend enjoyed playing volleyball so I didn't understand why another sport. When I asked my friend, "Why golf? Why not volleyball lessons or something?" Her mom answered from the kitchen, "Because volleyball gets you into a sorority, but golf gets you into a corner office." Anyway, I've been thinking about that a lot recently as my kids get older, and if I should get my kids to take a year of golf before college. Even just knowing what the clubs are and basic etiquette seems to be a life skill if you are planning to go certain routes.

Maybe my DH is secretly the moderator, because his first rule when we decided to homeschool (after being homeschooled himself) was NO SAXON, lol.

Week 4 January Goals House goals: 3. Clear out any bedding that is not being used: summer sheets into one box, heirloom blankets to 1(!) box (ok maybe 2), rest to donate.↗️ 4. Donation run last week of January.↗️ Account goals: 3. Check paycheck withholdings and adjust as necessary. Do a split deposit amount straight to savings??✅ 4. All business receipts/accounting together and ready for taxes; any business subscriptions put onto calendar based off 2021 receipts. ❌ So the House goals will be done on Saturday, just squeaking into the January deadline. I've changed this a bit so that we will double-make the beds with summer sheets underneath the winter sheets, to free up storage and so they can't get lost. I took a cursory glance at the blanket situation and all blankets are being used except for some baby blankets; they're small but blankets never fold small enough, lol. I remember the trashcan on wheels idea someone mentioned for clothes during moving, and think I might use that for blankets, anyway. Account goal 3 was done. I didn't split straight to savings because my in is too close to my out for me to feel comfy doing that, but we should be in the green. Account goal 4 has no hope, lol. But, in my defense, I've put in about 28 hours on the business this week already for a more pressing project. Future me will just have to deal with it. This will probably roll to mid-February.

From what I understand, there was no non-compete agreements, and it is an at will employment state. The employees turned in their notice, the current employer did not try to counteroffer to even match the new wages/compensation package. Legally they couldn't force them to stay and work against their will (otherwise known as slavery) so they decided to use the courts to make it so other people wouldn't/couldn't hire them. And it, somehow, actually worked?!, for a few hours anyway. Seems this hospital wanted all the benefits of at will employment -- firing, threats of firing, hours, setting a wage they like, etc -- but none of the risk, ie, people won't willfully work for you. What's concerning is that it even worked for a hot minute, which means we will probably see more of this as a tactic to scare people into staying: "Sure you can leave, but if I can't have you no one can."

I'm not sure the reason behind this rule for you, so this info may not be relevant: So when I was a server, even if I took your order on the phone and rang you out on a to-go order, it wasn't considered "my table" since I didn't "serve" anyone, and takeout tips went straight to the restaurant (ie owner). Maybe I just worked at crummy restaurants (and, well, yeah I did) who just liked to stiff the staff (the owners loved to, actually) but I've never had a need to tip on takeout since. You can look at your printed receipt and see if there is a server listed in some places. I can ask the guy at the counter "Is this you?" and if it is maybe put a buck if it's him (and he doesn't seem to be an owner) but yeah I don't assume that tips not tied to a table ticket go to the servers. eta: not to say this is a bad rule, it's just not one that ever really popped into my head. Also, "a buck" makes me sound cheap, but I also rarely eat out and when I do it's usually under $10 so $1-2 is in line with somewhere between 10-20%.

I'm surprised by so many people saying this has always been a thing? Maybe tip jars, but not the expectation you will tip (if it's not a restaurant/server). This was not a thing where I was until the touch screen check outs took over. Most coffee shops I went to didn't even have a tip jar. I don't mind a tip jar, but I don't like the new expectation that I tip anyone I talk to if food is involved. At coffee shops [my main experience of this] I'm given the screen to choose the tip amount. On one place in particular, to choose "No Tip" you have to go through 3 button presses instead of the 1 button to choose 20%, or 25% or 30% (there's no 10 or 15 or 18% option). So the longer you stand there pushing buttons you are signaling you aren't giving a tip. These aren't servers, they are not being paid with the expectation of tips to get them to minimum wage (and I don't think they make enough tips for the employer to take that into account when offering the job/compensation). And they are breaking out this tip over 3-5 people on the shift? It's not going to the person who actually took and made my order, which is the point I have in my mind of tipping a server (yes I know some restaurants require tip out, etc). I go to two coffee shops regularly. The one with the 20% min suggestion has awful service and hardly gets the order right. I tipped twice to see if they noticed and took that into account when making my order. No difference in quality or service, so no tipping there. The other coffee shop I go to I now tip about 80% of the time, because they know my name and order, and have started to bring my coffee out to me instead of calling my name at the bar. But I give a flat $1 tip per order, not the suggested system prompts; sometimes this is in their favor, sometimes not. And if I'm just picking out a scone or a sandwich, no tip, because they literally hit 3 buttons then turn the screen to me for a tip, lol.

And she's been conditioned to believe him over years and years of eating bigger and bigger fish, so it may have to be a whale of a tale to get her to choke. Hopefully cancer is the whale she chokes on, because I doubt he's going to drop down to smaller fish if he gets away with this.

I understand you and friends don't feel like you'd win in a head-to-head with him, since she believes any excuse he gives. Can you lead her to the water backward? Like, say you're very concerned about next steps of his cancer treatment, and since you/friends have experience with cancer recovery and support, let's plan a day to get you all set up with all the info you need, without having to stress out the cancer patient. Little tips you've found helpful in care and recovery. Things like: if he has a relapse, or is unconscious on the floor one morning -- which happens to cancer patients, doncha know -- you need the number of his doctor. And not just his doctor: his pharmacist, and a list of the medications he's on, so you can tell paramedics if they seem necessary. And, the hospital the doctor wants him taken to. And who to ask for at the hospital. Also, as the person who is making his food, she needs to make sure that his medications don't have a contraindication with his food, since almost all cancer meds/patients have special needs; while you've never heard of a med that lets someone "vomit out cancer" it must need special dietary needs since it's affecting his digestive system. She can't take his word for it if he says nothing special or just a few tweaks: he may be willing to suffer because he loves your cooking, or maybe his doctor wasn't clear, or maybe he was told while he was having "cancer brain fog", and she really needs to see the fine print on the medication papers to make sure because how horrible would it be for him to suffer through this but then the medicines aren't working because of his food. Also, you/friends have found that going to a recovery consult has been essential to long-term recovery, because the doctor often knows what a spouse can do to help speed recovery and what signs to watch for for relapse. And since it's telemed, she can easily just pop in and out, she doesn't have to be there for "embarrassing" questions. Regardless, hugs to you and your friends as it must be so frustrating to just watch from the sidelines but can't yell loud enough to be heard.

Similar story: I was at a friend's house, they were a religious household but were allowed much cooler computer games than I was, lol. One of them was Doom. And for us little kids I guess they would put it on the easiest mode to play because otherwise we'd just die all the time. Easiest mode was called G-O-D mode. So we would be talking about how "this is so easy on G-O-D mode" and "you would have died if you weren't on G-O-D mode" and maybe after 9 or 10 months of playing this game with them I finally asked what G-O-D stood for, because it had kept me up for hours. Great On Defense? Going Off Death? Going Over Death? I couldn't figure it out. They hemmed and hawed and finally someone exasperatedly asked if I knew how to spell anything and I said of course I do, and they asked and what does G-O-D spell? And I shut up and went home shortly, lol, I was so embarrassed I didn't figure it out. My dad gave me the same talk you got except about about Jesus and "jeeze." I still say "jeeze" (and "gosh") and they have no relation to taking the Lord's name in my brain. For marketing, it's an instant signal to me they are aiming this product to a younger generation, or for a completely different set of people. not because it doesn't mean the actual words "W t f" to those people, but because to them it's on trend to say that type of thing without regard, or to get a reaction, or to show how on trend they are. So, idk if it bothers me so much as makes me roll my eyes.

I'd be instantly alarmed that she's willing to insinuate such a thing. Because if she's willing to insinuate anything of the sort like this from normal kid/cousin behavior, I do not see her as a trustworthy person that necessarily has my son's interests/reputation in mind. If she's actually worried she should be supervising them closely, but if she's supervising closely then she knows there's nothing to worry about. So, this comment is showing she's probably not really concerned but is just being catty about something she may see as a flaw (ie a boy who is willing to play with girls, or a kid who isn't maturing "right" since they can play with little kids, both of which are silly implications). I understand it's probably just meant as a slight jab, but also let it be a reminder she is not an adult I would allow to supervise my kids (or, I wouldn't let her supervisor just DS14 w/o his brother).

OMG, this is why we haven't found any real stories/proof of vampires in the age of video! They probably figured this out ages ago (yay for immortality) and decided just to get away from the humans and their drama and garlic and set up colonies on the ocean floor. No sunlight, no stakes, just vampires going on with their daily lives. Maybe fish blood is their version of vegetarian. Water pressure doesn't necessarily have to be a problem -- no lungs to collapse, and maybe the immortal-bit of their body can keep its shape under the water despite heavier than air. They are called night-walkers, not necessarily earth-walkers, so water-walkers isn't out of the question by that definition. Jean-Michel Cousteau, we have a job for you!

Dance naked. Not because I want to, but because I can.

I'm reading through, I feel like there's some misconceptions or leaps being made, but I'd rather get more feedback than seem argumentative, lol, so I'm just taking it in right now, thanks for the perspectives. To clarify one thing: she doesn't use tech to keep in touch with friends, and so we aren't cutting her off from friend groups with the tech ban; in her [very small] circle none of the kids have personal chat-type things, they are still just in-person connections. She needs more peers/activities, though that's a separate issue we'd already been working on since she got vaccinated, it's just been slow progress.

This is the tack we'd been taking for the last 5-6 months and honestly I feel like it didn't work. The feedback I'm taking away here is telling me I'm too controlling, though, so I think I need to figure out how I can give her the space that I was trying to give her, while making the consequences of her actually using the space less dangerous. And growing the space slowly.

Right now, she washes dishes, someone else dries. When she'd spend 1/2 hour in the bathroom, others are waiting for her to be able to do their own stuff. We tried the "if you really need to go to the bathroom, that's fine, but you may need to dry the dishes too because it's not fair to M to have to wait." Which she'd say okay to, but then she'd be up doing dishes at 9 or 9:30 PM, going slow (which it's her time, so it's not an issue as much as annoying) but the house, again, is small, so someone banging around in the kitchen keeps other people up. It's a trickle-around problem. We do lump the kids together a lot, that's true. Partly because we haven't had issues where they needed to be separated out before. So yeah, we are consciously evaluating what having a teenager means in our family. DH and I agree with the 5 months, and we are planning on basically re-going over tech safety when it opens back up. We did a ton, a ton, of tech safety ages 10-12 (starting when she got her own laptop) but obviously it wasn't effective how we intended. We know she's only with us for a short time longer, and that she needs to start making her own decisions and learn how to control this stuff on her own. We are trying to reevaluate now that she's older how we want to go forward, hence my post. We're trying to balance "she's now a teen" with "she's still a 7th grader and in danger of serious harm."