Many things are good in my life, but if I could change something it would be to be part of a strong community. For about five years, I was the point person for my parents when they each had a health crisis and then passed away over a period of a few years; plus, our teenage son was in crisis. I needed to spend most of my time helping those family members, and so I didn't have much time to nurture my friendships or relationship with my husband. My mom passed away my youngest child's senior year in high school, and she is a thriving college freshman this year. So, I went from drinking life through a hose to a trickle. Last year's calendar was crammed; this one's is empty. We don't have family members to visit or celebrate with any more, and my friends connected with others when I was out of social commission, and we don't have the same synergy we had. Such a drastic change has left me feeling a bit adrift, and I think it will take time to find my feet. I have a part-time job, which helps give my life structure. I think it will take a while to get to know myself and others again. I saw an interview with an 89 year old (who had just earned her college degree) who said people need to laugh every day and have a dream. It struck me that I don't do either. Maybe it's time to start dreaming again now that every day is not a crisis. I have always thought I would love living in a picturesque, smallish town (maybe East Coast?) where one could walk to get groceries and know the shop owners (also where the land and climate were better for hiking, etc.). My husband is not on board, but there are some things about the built-in opportunities for community of retirement communities that appeal to me.

How have I never read a thing about this? Oh my. The author's quote in the comments had me giggling. Really?! "Thank you so much for your comment and yes, apparently they did hike their skirts up in public or perhaps they disappeared to a side room or similar. According to historian Lucy Worsley ‘Privacy is not essential, and the French ambassador’s wife annoys everyone with the “frequency and quantity of her pissing which she does not fail to do at least ten times a day amongst a cloud of witnesses”.’"

On attending classes, if your student is interested in participating in/majoring in fine arts, our daughter did find it helpful to attend choir class. She was already familiar with the professor/conductor, but attending the class was the highlight of her visit and confirmed her high regard for his leadership. (Our daughter is not a music major, but vocal music is a large part of her life, and she plans to be involved in several college choirs during her years there; she is a college freshman this year.) I agree with others' comments about attending academic classes. She did spend a night and did not have a very good experience. But, that experience helped her identify questions that she asked her admission rep and another student she knows who attends the college. Their answers helped her better assess the college before committing. (She is going to that college, and it's a great fit for her.)

I do that with rooms and with clothes (i.e., going to the closet to wear an outfit and then realizing it isn't there because it was a dream). So disappointing!

If you revisit the dream again and someone offers you a blue pill and a red pill, you will know you're in the Matrix! Seriously, though, I have had recurrent dreams, but never a serial dream. How fascinating!

I set the timer and do 5-minute pick ups each day in the living/dining room/foyer, family room, and kitchen (trying to get in the habit of adding the master bedroom). It's only 15 minutes a day, but now that my kids are older/not home much, everything stays picked up and vacuumed. It's amazing what you can do in a room in a concentrated 5 minutes!

Not the poster you remember, but... There was a girl I was getting to be friends with when I was in middle school. Her family moved to our area during the school year. We got to know each other on the bus, but she was never allowed to play with me (or anyone) after school. As soon as she and her brother got home from school, she said they had to read the encyclopedia until dinner time. She was sweet but seemed scared of her dad. We lived in the country, and they were living in a remote, rundown house. One morning, our school bus stopped, and no one got on. The whole family was gone. I have always wondered and have always felt so sorry for the little girl who couldn't play with me.

My dds (24 and 19 yo) are laughing so hard they can't breathe at this thread!

OTC progesterone cream helped me too (as Myblessings4 mentioned). I like the brand Emerita. I found the book Before the Change, Taking Charge of Your Perimenopause by Ann Louise Gittleman to be helpful. She offers suggestions (mostly herbal or foods or vitamins) to address specific symptoms.

Not picking on you, Toto, but I started giggling through this thread because of all the "#2" comments. Potty humor is not usually my thing, but the phrasing caught me off guard tonight (plus, I may be very tired and slap happy).

I'm in the dense camp too. 😉 After extremely painful mammograms, always followed by ultrasounds because the mammogram was all-white, I eventually switched to annual thermography. I haven't had any abnormal results of tests and don't have a family history of breast cancer, so this seems like an OK screening choice for me.

Fall through spring Lands' End suede all-weather mocs. (I have light brown, dark brown, and black and generally order children's since they are the same shoe but cost less!) I have orthotic insoles that fit perfectly, and—with or without special insoles—these shoes are so comfy!) Crocs for indoors. Chacos or Lands' End water shoes in summer.

I have wrapped presents under my tree and over half the cards in the mail. That has never happened this early in December! That's what happens as a first-year empty nester!

That sounds truly awful—like a weird nightmare come to life!

Well, here's a funny one, Ausmum: A friend was at a large come-and-go reception at a family member's home and went to the kitchen to check on something. There she saw her auntie dumping the remainder of drinks from the glasses of those who had left and rinsing the ice cubes and putting the refurbished cubes in new glasses of drinks to go out for the next set of guests!

Maybe Google "PVC pipe Christmas tree"? Those look fun, and you could even set some of your favorite ornaments in the tree.

We went to a church Thanksgiving meal three years in a row: one after my dad had a stroke and couldn't navigate stairs well, the next when my mom wanted to host but wasn't feeling well, and last Thanksgiving when she had just passed away and we were at her house all Thanksgiving week boxing and moving to be out for buyers Dec. 1. We enjoyed ourselves, there was really good, home-cooked traditional turkey dinner, and it was such a blessing and relief in our circumstances! The church asked that those who could would take a side dish, so I made extras so we had leftovers for that evening.

I looked at the website the Zambian pastor mentioned as a place where donations would more greatly benefit the people. It looks interesting: https://www.choshenfarm.org/

Thank you, BeachGal, for the information and suggestions!

Does the wisdom of the collective hive include anything about low alkaline phosphatase in blood work? My 18 yo and I both test low (21-24), but everything else in our blood work looks good, at this point. Our doctor suggested we take zinc picolinate (30 mg/day) for a couple months. Dds numbers moved up to 24 (from 21); I haven't retested yet. The Internet is not turning up much that is helpful. Any insights? I did see that some lab ranges are different—including some where 20 is the low-end number. Quest Labs low end of the range is 47.

That French word is used in that way in the U.S. in the professional ballet world. I thought it was such a pretty, classy sounding wish for a great performance. I was quite surprised when I found out the meaning!

That sounds amazing! Wish I could do it. Asheville is so gorgeous. My husband and I went there years ago for an anniversary weekend. Now I'm going to look at TrustedHousesitters.com!

I'm sorry you are going through this! Could stem cell therapy be something to look at? Our friend started this company, that's why it came to mind: https://www.idealhealthus.com/our-practice/

These are great ideas! Thank you so much! It really helps to get your thoughts about size and types of gifts. We already have some fun Christmas fuzzy socks that I have purchased ahead. I think I'll add some good chocolates, a water bottle, and a fun treat for the doggie.