Is there a Bricks4Kidz? They have classes and/or camps. I understand, not always practical to drive. Is there something that could go along with his drone? Does it come with a camera? I have no idea how that stuff works. Does he like movies? Maybe just a movie pass or something. Who wouldn't want to see Captain America? :)

I thought it needed a closet to be considered a bedroom, regardless of whether the person living there compensates for that with a wardrobe. When I was growing up my parents gave me the den as a bedroom. It was technically not a bedroom, though because there was no closet. They bought me a wardrobe/armoire. Maybe she could advertise it by naming the other rooms 2 bedrooms den office or something like that The buyer might look at that and decide for themselves if they actually need an office and what else they would use it for. Depending on where she is advertising, there may be a chance to include photos so people can decide for themselves what would actually fit there. Maybe even stage it as a bedroom if you want to show off "the bed will fit" or whatever.

One day I lost my home (destroyed. My parents' house, actually), car (flooded) and job (well, they wanted me to return when they reopened I'm sure, but by then I had moved on) overnight. Hurricane Katrina. I thought that was the worst thing I could probably experience in my life, but it wasn't. And it wasn't ALL bad I guess. Clean slate in a way. The year dh and I had to apply for SNAP benefits was one of the worst years. He was unemployed and all I could get for work was a part-time job surrounded by younger employees that mostly could not relate to my financial stress at all. I also got overly emotional one day and ended up crying in my boss' office. I never felt like I could live that down and would always been seen as weak. We had to move to a well, bad neighborhood to be blunt, to afford rent. It was a low-income housing subdivision. Our car A/C was broken and one of the windows didn't work and always fell down. Driving around in Mississippi in that thing was hell. And there was an electrical problem so that half the time I parked the car I didn't know how long it would take to crank back up. It would flash "auto-theft" and refuse to crank because it thought I was trying to steal my own car. I would get stuck sitting in parking lots and my driveway sweating for 15 min. or so waiting for the car to start. My inlaws paid for work on the A/C, but it wouldn't stay on. Maybe related to the electrical problems. This past year or so has been one of the worst years of my life. I suppose one of the best as well. With dd's birth came joy and also some obstacles. I know when I put it into perspective it isn't that bad compared to what many people have experienced. I have a lot to be thankful for. But I have all this guilt and anger stemming from how I've handled things from her lip/tongue tie to torticollis and homeschooling, etc. I'm dying to go to the psychiatrist and have been waiting months because of her availability. I will finally see her the end of this month. I just got off an emotional roller coaster ride when dh applied for another job and was offered it recently. I didn't know if we were going to move across the state yet again and went as far as to contact a few realtors. The options were pretty slim. In the end we did the math and it wasn't going to work which is fine. Tomorrow morning we tour a private school and I think I might be more nervous than ds. I just don't know what to do. Homeschooling is not working for us right now, but depending on our options we may have to force it to work. I worry about posting on here, too. I probably overshare. We just live in such a tiny area I guess I figure odds are most of them don't know about this site or use it. I don't know if any of that makes you feel better! lol. But really, most of that stuff is water under the bridge now. I don't know if it would help you to see a therapist, but I think after my evaluation I might go see one for regular visits. I'm not sure. I hope things improve for you. I have no idea what kinds of things you've been through in the past few years so I may not be able to relate, but you have my sympathy.

What about paper flowers made out of sheet music? If someone was doing the play on words with candy for me I'd want a Take Five after my performance :D

I think it might be best to hold off, but if you do decide to get one, plan on getting wrist/knee/elbow pads? I only tried roller skating. I had some inline skates and I was very thankful for the wrist guards. I might have had knee pads, too.

I probably need one of those as well lol. Maybe ask for references? Then you could call the references and ask them something about how the mother's helper handled things?

Yeah, I don't necessarily think every wedding needs a meal -- a very close friend of mine got married and didn't do a meal. My son was the ring bearer. I don't even remember what was there but dh was working in the kitchen as a favor and he prevented the chocolate fountain from catching something on fire?? lol. Anyway, since we were close friends I already knew way in advance there was not going to be a meal. I don't remember if it was on the invites, though, so I don't know what others were expecting. They probably all knew, though because it was just people close to her. I don't think I even had a piece of my sister's cake because I didn't like the flavor lol

Hmm maybe I had a poor choice of words. Regardless, I'm sure there are a range of expectations and some would feel an expectation to be fed more than dessert, depending on how much time has passed since their last meal. Maybe they can't even eat the dessert. A couple of people in my family are hypoglycemic so maybe I'm more prone to need food sooner than others. And yes, I could keep a granola bar in my purse. I went to one out of state and by the time we got to the reception we were starving. We saw the appetizers, but thought they were the only food. We were happily relieved to discover there was actually a meal a bit later. Are all expectations warranted or fair? Probably not. But I'm not going to pretend there aren't some. Oh and I was at that wedding because I was asked to escort my elderly grandmother who at the time was 97 years old? I don't think she would have wanted to have to eat out afterwards.

I can tell from the responses that length of time celebrating varies. I would guess the longer someone is tied up with the wedding festivities, the hungrier they will be lol. If you had to drive from out of town or the service was long or you had to drive from location A (wedding) to location B (reception) -- I imagine all those things could potentially influence decisions on food. Religion or culture can influence length of service. Seems like the ones on TV are 5 minutes long lol. But if you had to drive a ways, stay for a long service, possibly drive to a venue for the reception and already spent money on travel expenses... you might want a meal and your hosts and/or members of the wedding party you know might feel they owe it to you to provide a meal. I can get why there would be pressure to supply one even if it's not ideal financially.

You don't need a whole muffin pan maybe. They sell individual silicon muffin wrappers. Not maybe as good of a shape, though. You could maybe get a full size silicone cup or such if that works better. I hate stuff like this, too. I have ideas, but making prototypes? Ugh. I sometimes think about buying that thing that holds your lid when you're not using it. I hate trying to awkwardly set the hot lid down horizontally on the range.

I see. Well, your sister's dig (using another poster's term. I agree) was out of line if she knows that it would be seen as a dig. I am sorry your family went through such a rough time. I don't mean to sound insensitive to that. I'm just thinking of the whole anger stems from hurt thing and how deep down your mother is probably hurting and doesn't know how to deal with her baggage. Yes, she probably should see someone about it and I can understand it might be impossible to get her to do that.

Ok that seems like enough time for a lot of people to cool off. I get that. But a week is also not a lot of time to heal if someone deeply hurt you. I am guessing the mom is way more sensitive than she lets on and how she deals with that is to be mean. Sorry, not really trying to say it's OK, but rather, that it's not hard to believe someone could be upset about something from a week or so ago. Also, if the mom cusses often, then swearing is not a good indication of anger level.

You've never known someone that wouldn't say, "you hurt me"? LOTS of people get hurt and don't verbalize it eloquently or at all. It's more of a passive aggressive reaction or outburst. Not saying this is right. But if the mom viewed the interaction as toxic then other people might say "remove toxic relationship from your life" and urge her to cut off contact. When a kid says there's a bully at school don't lots of people say, "walk away"? So swearing aside, I think people do sometimes just distance themselves rather than have a heart to heart.

I'm going to approach this from another angle. I think that the most useful questions might not be reflected on in the OP. Were her feelings hurt? Anger comes from hurt. I'd say yes. Did anyone apologize to her? Do you care to have a relationship with her? Was this Facebook post seen by all your sister's friends, etc? Sounds like she was publicly humiliated. Do you think publicly humiliating someone deserves an apology? Or no because intent was not to do so and/or you guys think she "deserved it" for the bad history. I think whether or not you guys think she deserved this/didn't mean harm, you should think about how it hurt her. If I was going to make jokes like that and didn't want to hear/see her reaction, I would hide the post. If the point was to get a reaction from her, then you guys got it and shouldn't be surprised if this happens a lot. I guess I'm sympathizing too much with the mom here maybe because I have a really hard time controlling myself when I get angry. I've said some things that I would consider verbally abusive to a few people and am not proud of it. Having a slew of people point out that it's not normal doesn't really help. It just makes me think, "duh" and/or "well, maybe it's not that easy/black and white..."

I think no meal is becoming more and more popular. Because so many people associate weddings with a meal, it might be best if "finger food reception" or something was mentioned on the invite. But really the time of day would help people adjust their expectations, much like many birthday parties. Although, those can be confusing, too. I think the last one we attended was not set at a meal time, but we were fed and the kids probably worked up an appetite from swimming. My MIL looked down her nose when I had planned to do my son's 2nd birthday party without a meal (non meal time, just cake and ice-cream was my idea). Next thing I knew, I basically lost control over the whole thing since most of the attendees were her side of the family and basically that's the proper way to do things in her family. Needless to say, after that, I refused to ask to do any parties in her home (we couldn't' do it at our own place because of size).

I enjoyed reading that wedding breakdown. I think some of that stuff could be debated of course. If it's a modest wedding, there might not be bridesmaids plural. One witness or one maid/matron of honor. That is what I had and what my sisters had. When you remove that from this scenario there are less flowers needed I guess. I'm Catholic and had a Catholic wedding and used the hall. I was told the hall was free (Dad left donation. Don't know the fire codes, didn't have a big wedding. So we may be talking less than 100. Definitely less than 100 that actually were present at the hall). In my experience, not all separate KofC halls are big. So I guess it's going to vary from church to church. But you bring up a good point... maybe if we'd used another hall or gone to another church their rules/options would be different. I know you are speaking specifically about your area. I think a woman on a tight budget might forego a hairstylist and get the help of a friend/relative. So I could see hair being free or cheaper. I didn't get mine done (but made the mistake of trying to do something that didn't work out and then giving up). I wasn't going to try to sit in a salon the morning of my wedding. I can't get anywhere on time as it is. I don't think there was any need to rent candle holders. I don't know anything about that... are people doing that in the church or hall? Beverages — I honestly don't remember if we had coffee or just cold items. Since you brought up David's Bridal — they always advertise their $99 sale. Maybe someone could find one for $99. Well you did say modest wedding, not "inexpensive" lol so I guess I can see how a lot of that makes sense.

lol ditto My dad gave me some book about retiring earlier and I had to go double check the author to see if it was Dave Ramsey because I always hear his name thrown around. The author of the book I have is named Wes Moss.

I got that impression, too, but I think that's because I was noting the OP's comment about hating planning.

I looked it up online about who pays for flowers (again, speaking traditionally). http://emilypost.com/advice/wedding-expenses-the-traditional-division You could go either way on the corsages, but mostly the flowers are associated with the bride's side according to Emily Post. We went to a bakery/florist combo and placed our whole order there. We had boutonnieres/corsages for wedding party. Our wedding topper was flowers, too. I just remembered we didn't pay for photography either so there was another area of savings. My sis and BIL are enthusiastic photographers (not professional, but good). We didn't have a band or dj, just a musical playlist. No one wanted to dance and some people left before the reception so it probably would have been a waste of money. Some of those prices sound crazy to me in this century, too.

I've read two comments about parents of the groom buying flowers. :confused1: I thought that fell under bride's family obligation... if we're talking traditionally. I would lump it in with other wedding stuff.

I can't find the link right now, but I did read a link describing reasons it's harder for boys typically. One had something to do with thinking their penis would fall off or something like that. Maybe that's why he's crying?? I just came across a mother that said boys' anal sphincter develops later so potty training too early is pointless. So far I haven't seen any medical info on this to refer to.

I just want to say don't expect things to necessarily go that fast. I thought my daughter was showing signs she was ready but that was weeks ago. She just takes off her diaper daily but I guess I'm not getting her to the potty at the right times. I've already had to clean up poop from her removing her diaper this past week. Nope, not really ready to try a naked method when I'm having this much trouble with her not naked. Or maybe I could try with a very brief period of time. Ds took fooooooooooorever to potty train. But he had a lot of constipation issues too and encopresis I believe. I think he wasn't reliably using the potty til maybe past 3. It's all a blur now.

Did you not see them when they delivered the items? If you saw them in person and thanked them at that time, then I wouldn't worry too much since they were going out of their way to thank you. If you just found it on your desk or something then I would be sure to touch base with them. Acknowledging that you got it and thank them. I think the whole point is to convey a message. What method you choose may or may not matter. I was raised with sending thank you notes. I usually have a stash of stationery at any given moment. Some of it is blank note cards and some of it actually says "thank you" and there are others. I like to be prepared haha. But I also just like snail mail sometimes and I'll send cards for other reasons. Sometimes you can find a pack of thank you cards at Michaels in bins near the front of the store or even in the dollar store, etc. I don't send a thank you every time my family members do something. These days most thank you notes are for non family members.

I don't want to get suede wet. I have owned suede shoes before I think?? Definitely some type of jacket that was suede or similar at one point. I don't have that jacket anymore. It was given to me. Currently I do not think the kids or I have clothing items that would be ruined if they got wet.

I still have it. It wasn't a real "prom" dress, but it's what I wore. I wore it again to other nights out when I dressed gothic more often. I wore it with black heels that had some sort of raised design on the back of the heel that looked gothy to me. Yeah, I know, I'm weird.