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Everything posted by heartlikealion
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I don't know if knowing people at the church would make it more or less embarrassing. If I knew them, I could joke with them afterwards that I got mixed signals on what to do and laugh it off.
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If you think weddings cost a lot! Funerals are just as bad.
heartlikealion replied to FaithManor's topic in The Chat Board
I'm sorry. It stinks. I went to a funeral recently and I was shocked that my grandma agreed to cremation. But I know it was to be practical. She was being buried out of state. My grandma's church has a bereavement committee. After her funeral there was a meal (small church so not a million people) provided and a dessert table. But that's just how that particular church is. I'm sure it varies. Most funerals I have been to the food is done separately, like you drive to a restaurant or meet up at a family member's home. -
s/o biological clock--flexible careers for women
heartlikealion replied to maize's topic in The Chat Board
I think it's partly a Southern thing. Seems like the majority of people I meet have a relative here. Even if they aren't someone with young kids. Their brother, their sister, their aunt, their parents, someone. We used to live closer to our parents, but when we did we still weren't in the same town or able to rely on them for a million kid-related things. Like, my parents currently live a few hours away but Mom has Parkinson's. She can't even hold my kids. Dad doesn't do well with really young kids, but now that ds is older, I could leave ds over there if I had to while visiting. MIL will watch the kids if we visit but I feel like we have to have a good reason to leave them there without us. We basically get chided if we want to go on a date night ("when we had kids we didn't go on dates"). When I went back to my hometown for my grandma's funeral I ran into the mom of an old high school classmate. She said her daughter lived in town. She apparently moved away for a few years but settled down there. I think it's really common. My siblings live very far away, but none of them have kids. -
s/o biological clock--flexible careers for women
heartlikealion replied to maize's topic in The Chat Board
Well I don't know people that specifically have an in-law that does daycare all day, but my SIL used a daycare run by her husband's family member (so they got a discount I'm sure and had the comfort of knowing someone in charge) and now that both her kids are older my MIL picks them up from school every.single.day. and brings them to her house til my SIL gets off work. When I lived closer to my MIL I did not like to ask her to do things like that as I don't particularly like my kids riding with her. Her vehicles smell like smoke and then I'd have to worry about making sure the right car seat was installed. Another person I know has mentioned on social media how when she had to juggle all the kids she asks her dad to tag along with her. I know he's not the only relative near her, either. That's great. I'm happy for them. But I just know that's not possible for everyone. I suspect that some days she'd have her in-laws pick the kids up from school, too. When I worked at VBS her kids were there but I didn't see the parents both days I was there. I think the in-laws brought the kids. I do have a lawyer friend with kids. She's a single mom. Her parents helped her out all the time. Driving the kids and watching them. I think her mom watched her kids when they were really young. -
s/o biological clock--flexible careers for women
heartlikealion replied to maize's topic in The Chat Board
Maybe. I don't know how often. When I wrote my comment it was following this post: to which I thought, "well that's convenient... he probably has you to watch the kids so he can work from home." But I realized the poster was probably just sharing to state that she considered her dh's job family friendly. It seems to me sometimes people have the option of a spouse to watch the kids while they work from home (can't help but think of that BBC clip with the man on camera and the kids bursting in the room) but for me personally it drives me bonkers trying to do anything with the whole family here even if dh is watching them. They are loud. I could not justify hiring a nanny or sitter while I worked from home for the reasons I listed up thread. I would have to make enough money just to pay for software then a sitter on top of that? no thanks. I'm not sure it's true everyone pays for a sitter/nanny. I think a lot of people luck out, have a support system to rely on. Mother-in-law, mom, aunt, etc. I see it around here all the time. But I don't have that nearby. So I agree that in some cases I'm sure people do that, but in other cases I think they just luck out. -
LOL at ds' recent party dh bought a huge box of cookies from Sam's (M&M cookies) and there were 30 bags of cookies used as party favors and he said he paid $8-$9 for them. You basically summed up the way we shop. OP said parents were bringing plates so I didn't count that in my math but I did take into consideration napkins and cups if applicable. You can actually go even cheaper and just get a stack of napkins from the pizza place if you need to.
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I'm so frugal. I'd get a stack of Little Casear pizzas... which are $5 a piece if you get the cheese of pepperoni here. Ten little kids? That's like what, three pizzas if everyone eats two slices. Could order four to be safer but there is also other food. Why would I expect the parents to pay for goodie bags? That's like a favor bag, right? I would put those together myself out of pocket. Parents are bringing side dishes. So I'd pay out of pocket for um, napkins, cups and if applicable eating utensils? 16 ct of napkins from Dollar store for $1. Cups I think come in a 10 ct for $1. Utensils, $1 or $2 for enough. Seriously chunk change. No, I wouldn't expect $15 per kid, $30 for both your boys. I could throw a whole party together for that amount probably. But like I said I'm frugal... Ok so let's say I get a more expensive pizza. Maybe it's like $15 for one pizza. Still wouldn't charge each guest that much. I seriously want to be a party planner LOL.
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s/o biological clock--flexible careers for women
heartlikealion replied to maize's topic in The Chat Board
I feel like I misunderstood this thread. For some reason I was thinking a job where while you are home you are also watching kids. For something like that I couldn't imagine anyone working at home as a lawyer with interruptions to change diapers or make meals. Maybe a PT lawyer that has a nanny or leaves the home in the evenings when their spouse is home. -
Jumping into your convo on EF. I own this book:https://www.amazon.com/Everything-Children-Executive-Functioning-Disorder/dp/1440566852/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1496019521&sr=8-8&keywords=executive+function but I'm not sure it was the best one to get. I just ordered Smart but Scattered. https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Revolutionary-Executive/dp/1593854455/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1496019572&sr=8-1&keywords=smart+but+scattered
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s/o biological clock--flexible careers for women
heartlikealion replied to maize's topic in The Chat Board
This is an unpopular opinion, but I don't feel like I can do much with my advertising background as a SAHM. First of off, my children are young so that's a struggle. No support system. But even so, I'd have to make enough money doing free lance work (I used to do FT graphic design in an office) to justify the cost of the software. A professional subscription for Adobe Creative Cloud, not homeschool or student account, would easily be $50/mo. for me. I'm trying to get into tutoring but it wouldn't be substantial income as it wouldn't be many hours a month. It would make me feel better about my resumé, though. -
Impulsiveness - your own - how do you fight it?
heartlikealion replied to creekland's topic in The Chat Board
I'm totally lost so take my response with a grain of salt. If you're talking about bad thoughts that may deserve a medication separate from any existing health issues you have. I had some really negative thoughts that have subsided since I started taking a medication for depression. But if this is not relevant then disregard. -
So sorry. Hope you were able to enjoy the ceremony and that your throat is doing better.
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Babywearing moms, I need your input!
heartlikealion replied to Forget-Me-Not's topic in The Chat Board
I tried on Tulas. They weren't a great match for us. I was originally going to get the Lillebaby airflow Carryon toddler when I sized up for the mesh (humid here), but it was sooo floppy for us. I needed more structure. Also, I have a small frame so I like to be able to tighten the carrier more than some people. The Lillebaby comes with a lumbar support piece but I have taken it off before to allow me more room to tighten the waist. The Lillebaby has long straps that you can criss cross but if it's too loose and you wear the baby on your back, it looks funny crossing them over the front of your chest and a huge PITA for me personally to get on/off. So I just stopped crossing the straps but sometimes felt it wasn't as snug as I'd like. The store I bought mine at sells online, too and offered layaway so I did a downpayment on my KP and then made a few payments and they shipped it. I know that if you don't care about the patterns (some people really do, some don't) you can find plain ones at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond for Lillebaby. I don't know if they can be tried on in store but I know you can get the BB&B coupon and use it at BB&B which will help with the cost. I would steer away from Amazon sellers personally. Also, Lillebaby doesn't require an infant insert. Ergo does on at least some models. Don't remember about KP or Tula for infant requirements. (if anyone reading is curious about infant carriers) -
Impulsiveness - your own - how do you fight it?
heartlikealion replied to creekland's topic in The Chat Board
For snacking, I have to remove it from my house more or less. For spending, a sense of urgency to save that money (bills or such) or want to spend it on something better (save up for a big ticket item) Dh is the more impulsive one in the relationship. And the reason we got 6 dozen donuts and 30 bags of M&M cookies for ds' birthday party which I consumed a million of. Sigh. lol -
Babywearing moms, I need your input!
heartlikealion replied to Forget-Me-Not's topic in The Chat Board
Honestly, it's such a personal decision. I have a Lillebaby and a Kinderpack. They aren't cheap and they have pros and cons. Those pros and cons will vary from person to person as well as carrier to carrier. Do you have a baby store where she can try them on first? Maybe a gift card to the baby store with a note that the money is for a carrier. My Lillebaby is an All Seasons. It has the mesh panel to help cool baby down on hotter days. I can zip it closed on colder days. Technically my 2 yr old has not outgrown the weight limits, but she is so tall I don't feel it's a good fit anymore. That is why I recently got the Toddler Standard Kinderpack. It has a taller back panel but says the same weight limits. The lady that sold it to me has taken classes on these things and said not to take the weight limit too literally (in other words, I could use it if she exceeded weight a little). I tried an Ergo knockoff. I didn't like it because the back panel was way too low for my taste. And it was all canvas. Not ideal for our weather. Ergos have been made as knockoffs a lot. I actually pointed it out to the lending library where I got it that I suspected it was a knockoff after reading about the stitching patterns and such. Our lending library removed it so it would not pose a potential fall hazard to anyone. I have a 2.5 yr old. I wear her front carry and back carry. My Lillebaby allows side carry and forward facing out as well, but I felt like my baby was kinda big to face outward and I didn't really like it for ergonomic reasons so I never did it. But it might be good for viewing a parade or something. As for the side carry, I tried that once and it wasn't fun! It was my attempt to wear her and eat a meal LOL So just because a carrier has a million carrying positions doesn't mean you will need/use them all. Some people prefer slings or wraps, too. A tall back panel is important to me as my child likes to ride arms out and do crap like flip her body out. Pics below (tokidoki design is Lillebaby. Navy with constellations is Kinderpack). ETA: both my carriers have a mesh panel, but only the Lillebaby zips closed. You can see better pics on the actual product sites. I ordered both mine from a baby store where I tried them on. I got my LB during a Black Friday sale. -
I'm a mess. If ds can't cooperate he's going to public school. Dh and I are getting really frustrated. I do have materials for next year, more or less. I'm waiting til it's closer to the school year to decide if we're going to sign up for certain online resources. I do think he'll end up doing the summer reading program. I'm indifferent about it, but another family we know want him to do it with their son and if ds is interested then we'll get involved. It would be a good excuse for the boys to get together at the library events and possibly motivate ds to read. He's been really lazy about that. I think he's just sick of school work. We are trying to declutter. Dh bought some weather proof bins so we can move some items out of the house that are cluttering up our dining room.
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No advice exactly but I do use the poise liners sometimes. I believe the ones I use are called liners, but they are more like a pad. My current concern is what to do in a bathing suit. I leaked the other day when wearing my suit. :( I have a cold right now so things are worse this week. Coughing and sneezing is not fun. When I leak it can happen with a full bladder or not so full bladder, but I don't like letting it get too full because it just seems like a disaster. I need to start taking my supplement again. I do believe I am low in this.
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Amazon, book depository, Barnes & Noble (depending on if I'm there and/or the price is similar with the educator discount), BAM (we don't get there often but I love their bargain book section) and the local textbook store I worked a few times actually sells some children's books. I got some hardcovers dirt cheap. Edited: I have also bought from a used book store before, too. I don't know what you call it but they have some used stuff.
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Hmm. I once saw a woman and children in front of a walmart. I didn't to give them money so I offered food. The woman really didn't want the food, she wanted a gift card or money. I was kind of insulted and gave them a sandwich. Looking back it could have been that she was part of a bigger operation, but another thought I had was she wanted money for diapers or something. I don't think her English was that good.
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I just read about this after reading your post and it says only one offense in a lifetime can be vacated there. I don't know if that is common or not, either. http://www.lundinlawpllc.com/practice-areas/expunging-criminal-records-washington-state
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nm got my threads mixed up LOL
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No one has offered me a cigarette since I was in high school but if they did I could see myself saying tossing an extra word in my reply and watching my tone as I said, "oh, I don't smoke" or "no thank you, I don't smoke" or whatever. If I included the "I don't smoke" part it is partially to hint that I don't really like to be around smoke (which they may or may not pick up on).
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Lol
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aww, I hope you can come up with a good time to tell him.
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I don't know, I find that sometimes statements like that bring a conversation to an awkward moment and mess up the flow of conversation. guy: wanna go bowling? girl: I don't bowl guy: want to go to the movies? girl: I've seen all the ones out as opposed to guy: wanna go bowling? me: nah, what about xyz If you tack something onto the end of the statement it might not seem so abrupt. "I don't drink, but I hear you!" I don't know.?? I'm not the most socially adept person so maybe don't listen to me :)