Oh I do take a lot of that literally... that a lot of moms do enjoy wine (because I have heard them say so or share memes about it). But I react as if it's a harmless suggestion or expression if they tell *me* to have a drink. Just because for me it's easier to respond that way.

I'm sorry if I'm not making sense. What I meant was it's kind of like when someone says, "how are you?" and you say "fine" even though you could say "well, I've had a crappy morning, I couldn't find a parking spot..." etc. It's just small talk or whatever. I hate small talk. But it's a little less awkward for me to say "fine" and move on or say "yeah haha" when they say, "get yourself a drink" than to say, "I don't drink" and then have a back and forth conversation I didn't want. I am not ashamed of my decisions when I drink or don't drink. I personally rarely do and I don't care if others do. I don't consider my choices secret, either.

I know they are telling you to do it (and I think ktgrok knew it, too). But it's kind of an extension of the expression, "I need a drink" I think. "You need a drink/I need a drink" to express that one needs a break. That's how I take it. Depending on my mood and the person I was talking with I might react differently to such a suggestion. Like if they made the suggestion when I was pregnant I might be like, "I'm not drinking, I'm pregnant" but then I think that would just invite, "it's okay to have one glass." Sometimes it's not worth the energy to explain ourselves lol. Like if I complain we don't have a dishwasher. Some people think they are being helpful by saying, "make your kids do that chore" but they don't realize that I know my kid and I'm lucky if he puts the right shoes on the right feet.

:grouphug: I will pray for you

I think it's okay to brush past those comments, too. I think drinking coffee and wine is so common if someone jokes with me that I should treat myself to Starbucks or a wine I might just laugh and smile or even say, "yeah, really" if the intention was that I need a break.

:laugh: Congrats!

all the pics :wub:

I don't usually drink and the medication I'm on now tells me not to so I won't be anytime soon, but if someone offered me alcohol I would probably just say, "no thanks." Separately from alcohol consumption in general, there does seem to be this unspoken assumption that all moms drink wine. Never really cared for wine. I think I tried one that was okay but it was not typical. Or maybe it was a champagne actually, but I thought it was a really sweet wine that someone offered me on New Year's. I don't even really like tasting a glass of wine because if it's expensive I feel this pressure to consume it. That happened to me before. I also don't drink coffee (gasp) but I generally just say, "no thanks" or "I don't drink coffee." People are perplexed. I don't particularly like the smell of it, either.

Dollar Tree meal size plates come in packs of 18. Dollar General come in packs of 20. If that makes any difference to you.

We just did this. Dh got some products at Kroger (10/$10 was the deal). I compared to the ones I got at a dollar store... I think it was Dollar General. Well, mine had more plates per pack. I can't speak of the quality as we didn't open the Kroger ones yet. Ours were good enough for what we needed, though. Mine were a pack of 20, at least for the large size. The dessert size I think had a few less. Many of the packs of dollar plates I think have quite a few less. I got the paper cups there, too. I deliberately did plain designs thinking I might need to write names on them with a sharpie. I no longer advocate getting plasticware at Dollar Tree. We did that last year and the forks/knives were horrible. The ones at Kroger looked good ($1/box) but we didn't open them as we ended up with finger food. There are large bundles of thick plasticware we sometimes buy at Sam's as well. Just look at them before you buy. If you only need them for say, cake, anything will probably do.

I say them both, depending on the sentence. I think my go-to sounds like "day." And that's the name of the kid in Goonies.

I can't speak for others, but for me the heart of the matter is if you supposedly really really want to be a part of the Catholic church then shelling out money for private school is not necessarily proof of that and you should make an effort to be part of the parish. There are lots of people that attend Catholic school for lots of reasons. I don't think that's proof at all that they are brought closer to the faith. I know people that attended Catholic school. They didn't all become Catholic or even have a very good opinion about Catholicism from what I gathered. For all we know one of the reasons they are interested in their child becomming Catholic is a belief that the child will get a the Catholic rate for tuition. I knew a woman that joked about becoming Catholic to get a discount for her child. I told dh we wouldn't even qualify for that because while ds and I actively go to church we are not "substantial financial contributors" as is required for the "Catholic rate." Editing for clarificiation: I'm sure the rules vary from school to school. And in their case I do think their desire to send the child to Catholic school was for more than the education. It sounds like they genuinely wanted him to attend Mass weekly and probably learn more about the faith.

You could get them a shirt. I have a boy (older) and a girl. He has a shirt "best bro" and she has a shirt "best little sis." https://www.childrensplace.com/shop/SearchDisplay?storeId=10151&catalogId=10551&langId=-1&pageSize=100&beginIndex=0&searchSource=Q&sType=SimpleSearch&resultCatEntryType=2&showResultsPage=true&pageView=image&custSrch=search&searchTerm=Sis&TCPSearchSubmit= http://www.childrensplace.com/shop/us/p/Boys-Short-Sleeve--Brother-Of-The-Year--Graphic-Tee-2084486-BH I can't find the specific shirts we have. Maybe they aren't selling them anymore. Ugh the size options aren't great. Maybe you can find something on another site.

OP, do you know the family well enough to step in and assist them in finding a compromise for attending RCIA/getting involved in the church? Maybe this is your calling.

You are right. I wouldn't expect them to know they can say, "is there an alternative?" necessarily. But I would think if they are serious about joining they might look into different parishes' RCIA programs so that if parish A has a bad time maybe B has a better one. I don't know if they've even looked beyond their own church. Or you'd think they'd talk to I dunno, ANY Catholic if they are interested in becoming Catholic? And that Catholic might help them, speak up on their behalf or direct them to the church secretary or someone. That might be less intimidating than directly approaching the priest but get you the answers you need even if they have to take your name and number and get back to you. I feel like one of the problems here is they don't know any Catholics. And no, I don't think their child is Catholic because none of it adds up to me.

Dh and I didn't do most of that. A sponsor? That's new to me. Dh and I went to an engaged encounter, but by then the wedding invites had gone out I think so it seemed a little bit out of order. I didn't learn about any more modern (for lack of a better term) NFP methods til after ds was born. They only mentioned the rhythm method at our engaged encounter which I knew wasn't going to work for me.

I don't think they really know what FHC means and the logical step to me would be to start attending as a family if they want their son to take the religion seriously. What happens in the summer? No Mass?

I agree, there are a lot of unknowns. We don't know if they really sought out help with their dilemma or if they looked in the church bulletin and said, "hmm RCIA meets on Thursdays. Can't do that" or something similar. Seeking out help to me would be approaching a priest and saying, "we're interested in RCIA, but cannot make it on Thursday. What do you suggest?" We don't know if they looked into other Mass times or just said, "this particular church only has Mass at these times. It doesn't work for us." If my Protection of Children example was bad, what about the waiting period for marriage? Even Catholics are typically asked to set up their wedding 4-6 months in advance. I don't think, "Darn your hoops!" I think they want to give the couple time to go to a engaged encounter weekend if possible.

What I'm getting at is this child was NOT baptized into the RCC from the sounds of it. His parents aren't Catholic. I'm guessing he was baptized into another church. And while you don't get re-baptized from say, a Protestant faith to Catholicism, I was suggesting some steps must be taken before he can be considered a Catholic. So at this point, he's not even Catholic and they're upset he can't receive FHC. Seems like they need to back up a step.

Saying they need to attend RCIA is not the same as saying the RCIA classes shouldn't be offered at other times.

I want to know if this family has actually looked at the Mass times in their area. There very well be one Mass they can attend, but maybe in a different parish. Saturday night. Sunday morning. Late Sunday morning/afternoon. Sunday night. Something.

Religion had nothing to do our with homeschooling choice. Dh is not Catholic so I have to tell him things sometimes like, "I don't want ds eating right before Mass" and he met another Catholic and somehow that came up and she was like, "whoa, your wife is really Catholic." As if I'm some over the top Catholic. But on the other hand I wasn't surprised at all. I often see food in CCD class which is held between the Masses and I scratch my head at that since I don't know when they serve the food but know we're supposed to wait an hour before Communion. I tell ds that most of the families probably attend the earlier Mass so it doesn't matter when they eat it.

At what point is the child considered Catholic? A young child can be Catholic and not ready for any of those other things (like a first grader for example). Sounds like the test or prep you describe are steps for receiving Communion, not specifically for becoming Catholic. ktgrok said something about two years of religious instruction plus regular attendance of Mass.

They are probably cradle Catholics that were baptized Catholic as babies. This child doesn't sound like they are actually Catholic, why would they receive Sacraments? ETA: if they are going to Mass at school weekly and their parents only take them on Sundays at Easter/Christmas, that seems like a problem but one that has no bearing on this family's situation because two wrongs don't make a right.

We don't know if they enrolled the child in that school because of the religion or because of the education in general.