My parents lived in the Champaign area for a time, and I lived in a little hole in the wall west of Terre Haute, and if you weren't from the Chicago area, you might as well be in a different state altogether. Any funding that actually made it to the people stayed north. Love being back in Indiana.:001_smile:

I don't know if I'm the most calm person in the world, but lately I have had a lot of practice keeping a "Sunday face" to the rest of the world. I work in the Behavioral Health Unit (translation: psych floor) at a local hospital, and there are stories there that, frankly, are sometimes so outrageous that they can't be made up! At first I would become outraged, and would have to process (otherwise khown as vent, vehemently!) it with my supervisors, but after all the CPS calls, the people who know they need to change their lives but don't, and just those who die for one reason or another, I've sorta gotten used to it. Granted, I'm not hard and unfeeling, it's just that it doesn't offend me as much. These people are in desperate circumstances, usually because of the decisions they make, and I've learned not to take it personally if they don't take my advice. It's almost like watching a performance, really. Is that what you mean?

I would venture to say that American high schools accurately reflect movies these days...life reflects "art," unfortunately. Maybe it's a little of both...but it's certainly perpetuated by Hollywood.

I have noticed that other posters here have mentioned quietly squirrelling away gifts from family members that are inappropriate--or in some way do not jibe with the family's beliefs--and are later donated to an organization. Perhaps this could be a reason for taking them home first. :001_smile:

My mother has Fibromyalgia, but she was also experiencing facial and jaw pain that standard treatment could not relieve. She ended up being diagnosed with Polymyalgia Rheumatica and is currently on long-term steroids to help the pain. May try googling that and see if your symptoms match...good time to see a rheumatologist, too.

I guess it's not real knitting, but I did do scarves for my brother, sister-in-law, and my niece as gifts with my Knifty Knitter. Last year my SIL and niece got legwarmers in the same colors, and they were thrilled to now have a matched "set.":001_smile:

What it's like to live with food allergies in the Corn Belt...Soybean Belt...whatever. What it's like to live in Indiana with allergies to all these different grains, and to have people look at you like you're from Mars when you tell them..."you mean you can't even have BEER?!? Dang!" :001_smile:

I usually call him Trace or Babe (his name's Tracy), and he usually calls me Babe, or... ahem... on occasion, Monkeytoes. Yep. Something about my toes makes him laugh. That's also my handle on the Playstation, and when you're playing Battlefield 1943, and you get shot by Major_Monkeytoes, that's me. :001_smile:

Perhaps your family is under the impression that you don't want to make a big deal about your birthday..."holiday hangover" and all that. Maybe gather the family and tell them how your recent close call has helped you in your decision to celebrate more? I like Starr's idea...Invite everyone for a casual get-together, and ask them to bring over their leftover Christmas goodies (great way to get rid of them is to foist them on friends or have partygoers chow down). Then, rock out! No sappy Christmas carols allowed!

If you're referring to what I just posted, it was in no way a recommendation that she send a letter like this. She simply asked what I would have done, and I answered in a rather snarky manner, because I tend to vent among friends with lots of sarcasm, where it's safe. ;) I agree wholeheartedly with her not responding to her family at all...with abusive people, if you give an inch, they take a mile. Whether they see sending these checks as a form of control over her, we'll never know. She is, without a doubt, doing what is best for her. I'm happy for her that she is able to strike that balance.

Hi, Terry! Can you see me waving? :001_huh: There are only 3 things we (should) never talk about on this board: Politics, Religion, and Individual Math Curriculum Choices (though in recent years, we've all been a lot better to each other in that regard). Feel free to discuss teA, booKs, and husbanKs, however. :tongue_smilie:

"Dear Estranged Former Family:" "Just dropping a line to let you know that I received your check, and while I appreciate your having thought of me at this joyous time of year--the day we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior--I'm afraid I still can't trust you any farther than I could (collectively) throw you. However, that is no reason to let a perfectly good check go to waste. Since I am still suffering with back pain, and have needed several operations due to the heinous abuse I suffered at your hands when I was so very small and vulnerable, the money will be used to put a small dent in the significant medical bills your treatment of me has incurred. These procedures, while painful and expensive, are necessary, as I have dedicated my life to raising my children in the exact opposite way you have--in love--which requires me to be in the best health possible...after all, I cannot continue to be the amazing parent I wish to be if my physical health slows me down. God bless you, and have a happy Christmas! Your Former Family Member." :001_smile::001_smile::001_smile::001_smile::001_smile:

It says further down the screen that it was created by "roseriversong." It also says the shirt is rated "G"! :001_huh: If they only knew.... All we need now is one with references to husbanKs and waxing!

I just turned 40 on Thanksgiving Day. I have: a mortgage payment (that's 2 weeks late this month), a son in private school only because my ex gets disability and the dependent benefits come to me, 4 broken teeth that I can't afford to fix because I have no insurance, $45,000 in student loan debt which I need to start paying on in February, a man in my life who so desperately wants to work but can't do squat because he doesn't have insurance either and had to rely on residents at the local VA to operate on his retina (another long story), $25,000 in debt to my mother, who helped us with living expenses while I finished grad school, a new-to-us refrigerator we really couldn't afford (see the 2-weeks-late-mortgage line) but had to have, as the other one quit on us yesterday(!), and a PRN job at a hospital (I always say PRN is from the Latin for "not enough to make a solid living, but too much to quit). I'd like to be in a better place myself, but I have to constantly remind myself that I could still be in that factory working 12-hour shifts--if the auto industry hadn't tanked a couple years ago, that is. Things could be worse. I could be saying "do you want fries with that" after all this education. We have a house over our heads (because my father's life insurance provided the down payment) and food in our stomachs. My son and boyfriend will get Christmas gifts that they need (warm clothes) and a couple of the things they want. My carpal tunnel is better now that I'm using my head more than my hands. And, lastly, I have a wealth of information in my brain that I'm not going to lose just because the place I'm working for can't use me anymore. After the factory, I was just another unskilled worker. Sure, I could run Panasonic surface mount machines, but most people don't even know what they are, much less use them...skills like that aren't really transferable. If the hospital can't use me anymore, I can always be a counselor somewhere else.

My boyfriend has struggled with this for almost a year now. A day or two before he had symptoms, he had to bury one of his dogs in the frozen ground. The dog was a lab mix, and very heavy, and the strain was too much for his eyes, which are so nearsighted that they are more oblong than round. He had already been experiencing an increase in floaters and flashes when he turned his eyes a certain way, but we didn't think much about it. A couple of days later, he was driving when everything in his right eye suddenly went red. We went to the emergency room, where they did a CT scan and found that it wasn't a stroke, and sent him to an opthamalogist. She, like the ER staff, said, "well, i don't think it's a detached retina, but i can't tell because there's so much blood in there." Apparently that should have been their first clue. Long story short, a week later the VA (gotta love their since of urgency) finally got him an appointment with a retina specialist who chewed him out because his retina was detached, and he needed very serious surgery to fix it. By the morning of the surgery, his retina was collapsed and his vision gone. They used a "buckle" to basically pin the retina to the back wall of the eye, they removed the vitreous gel and replaced it with a gas that plastered the retina back onto the eye, a laser to patch the remaining holes in the retina, and a band around the outside of the eyeball to put pressure on it from the outside. Thanks to the interminable 7-day wait and an overzealous VA resident from IU Medical school, he not only has blurry vision, a cataract from the excessive lasering that required a new lens put into his eye (they even ground a prescription in it-neat, huh?), and a growth on the pouch which holds the lens--not to mention the fact that the aforementioned resident damaged that pouch during the retina surgery, we just found out. After the first of the year, he will have a laser procedure to remove the growth from the pouch, and he may get some vision back; however, what little vision he has in that eye is like "looking through a blurry fence", says Trace. Each time he has a procedure, his vision changes somewhat-it may get better, it may get worse-and he constantly feels like he's carsick. Each time there is an adjustment period to get used to the new vision. He's 20/15 corrected in the other eye, and the difference is really throwing him for a loop. Life as he knows it doesn't exist anymore. This man who served his community and country as an Intelligence Analyst for NSA in the Air Force, then went into the Army to become an MP, became a personal bodyguard and security guard, then a journeyman bricklayer, cannot do those jobs anymore. Any day now a company in Indianapolis is going to call him to take a written test to do armed security for Federal buildings in the state of Indiana, and he's going to have to tell them he can't do it because, even though he got the highest score on the FPS (a difficult pistol range exam administered by Homeland Security) in his class of 19, he did it with a cataract in his eye that can't be resolved after all and he no longer has peripheral vision. He's even trying to get a degree online at the local community college, but this man who LOVES to read gets headaches and is constantly exhausted. Actually, that wasn't a long story short, and I'm sure it's just an anomaly, but please, go see a retina specialist. This is no time to be conservative.

I understand your aggravation, and I feel it too. I too know that it depends greatly on who you hire, and how well they are educated...many of us educate our own children so they don't end up as "sheeple," to steal a word form an earlier poster. Countries like Israel, however, have had to deal with these issues for far longer than we have, and have learned what works and what doesn't. Eventually America will figure out which policies are ridiculous or ineffective and change them, and it's going to take a long time--I don't see us consulting anyone else anytime soon, since we've historically been so arrogant about these things...but we do have to start somewhere. ...I've always thought that anyone who thinks America is such a wonderful, secure, free country is sadly mistaken. Sure, there are things about America that are wonderful, but it's times like these when we display so much ignorance and arrogance that I'm ashamed to tell people where I'm from.

Exactly. I would much rather submit, to an albeit unperfect, system of scans and searches than blow up in the air. Sure, the Israeli system is better. Sure, it feels invasive. But to wait until they think of a procedure that doesn't offend us will kill thousands more Americans. For decades, Americans have enjoyed (relative) safety from international terrorists...perhaps they thought we were doing a good enough job killing each other. September 11th was a wake-up call. We got caught with our pants down. We can't be smug about our security any longer. For those who have grown up in other countries--where driving a few hundred miles means trying to get along in a place where the language, culture, and money are different--people are more aware and security checks are obviously more refined. I would be far more offended if these security checks weren't done and we have another disaster.

I haven't read all the replies, but a couple of years ago when my son and I were on food stamps, we received $168 a month for the 2 of us. That's $42 a week...$21 dollars a week for one of us...$3 a day. I don't know about those other people, but it's pretty darned difficult to feed yourself on $3 a day, especially when you're allergic to 6 different grains. For me, a loaf of bread is $4.79. Lunch meat is $2.50 (on sale). Canola mayonnaise is $5.79. You're talking 13 bucks for 7 sandwiches, if you're lucky. I didn't even think about buying produce with it...if the price wasn't too high, it may go bad before I had time to use it! We ate a lot of rice and hamburger, and our health suffered. I realize there are cheaper options out there, but when you're going to grad school full time, raising and homeschooling a teenager, and trying to complete an internship, it's hard to find the time to cook. For me, the above options are convenience food. I can see even double income families having trouble just finding the time to cook cheap processed stuff out of a box.

The GRE is very much like the SAT in that they still test math, writing, and vocabulary. I have heard that the math in the GRE is not much harder than SAT math, but the vocabulary is much harder. http://www.number2.com has excellent free study material and lessons.

Definitely quarters. Some of my best study times were when I had to stay by my laundry (they would throw our clothes out of the dryer and leave them to mold in a heap on the floor). Dryer sheets from home--something about the smell of clean towels from home... Cold medicine, tea bags, cough drops--whatever you give your child when they're sick. Dorms are just as much incubators as preschools! Extra hat and gloves, maybe a heavy jacket--you never know when there's going to be a cold snap, and you don't want to freeze your tuchas just because you haven't been home yet to gather your winter things. Edited to add: More credits for the cafeteria--sometimes you can add them from home.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I know you'd like to see your new grandson, but there just isn't time. It's a shame you weren't here a month ago when he was born...the school year hadn't started yet, and the atmosphere was certainly more celebratory and more relaxed. However, a month later, I happen to have not only a newborn to care for and several littles, but I have high school students that need a consistent and predictable schedule that I'm afraid I just can't interrupt right now. I hope we can find some time around the holidays or next summer so the grandkids can take the time to get to know you again."

Though I realize that they both end up in the same place, I don't think I could bring myself to send them there at the same time...:confused: It might very well be one of those combinations, like apple pie and cheese, that cannot be described...besides "mmmmmmmm," of course! Enjoy!

It is easy, however, to lump introversion and shyness together. Just because someone is introverted (like me, 87% introverted on the MBTI scale) doesn't mean they're shy. It just means that being among people wears them out and they would often rather be alone to recharge. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-introverts-corner/200910/introversion-vs-shyness-the-discussion-continues "The two get confused because they both are related to socializing-but lack of interest in socializing is very clearly not the same as fearing it. Schmidt and Arnold H. Buss of the University of Texas wrote a chapter titled "Understanding Shyness" for the upcoming book The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal. There they write, "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort." This differentiation between motivation and behavior is consistent with the ability many of us have to behave like extroverts when we choose, whereas shy people cannot turn their shyness off and on." "When we look at the interaction between shyness and introversion and treat those as two unrelated dimensions, it's as though each independent measure is adding unique variants to behavior." So someone who is introverted and shy will behave differently from someone who is introverted and not shy, who will behave differently from someone who is extroverted and shy, who will behave differently from someone who is extroverted and not shy." I am very much an introvert, but I spend my days not only talking to strangers and leading groups on relapse prevention and in relaxation, I'm helping them change their lives. It's tiring, but not something I have a problem with. If I was a shy person, I would probably have a lot of trouble with it.

Definitely APA or MLA, depending on what your major requires for writing papers. Purdue University has an Online Writing Lab (OWL) that is a wonderful reference for both. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/

Haven't read all the responses, but I think all the books are here...and at my mother's...and at my brother's. We've just been readers all our lives. Every week when we were little we went to the library and wore it out. In fact, my boyfriend just staged a biblio-intervention a couple of weeks ago. The room that formerly was our schoolroom (J is in private school now) is now our library. We are filling 2 entire walls with bookshelves and cramming them full--hopefully soon we will be able to walk through the house without tripping over a book!